I want to be Christian, but I just cannot believe
I grew up Christian, went to Sunday school, got confirmed, etc., but as I grew older, I started questioning things, became an Atheist, then a Buddhist, and now I don't consider myself anything. However, I miss going to church, I miss being Christian. I always enjoyed going to church for the sense of community, to learn, and because it just generally felt good to go. However, no matter how hard I try, I just can't believe. In my truest heart of hearts, I can't believe in Heaven or Hell, the Devil, Jesus, the Bible or any of the stories. I am really, really trying. I've been going to church consistently for a few months but still can't believe. Believing is important to me, but staying true and honest to myself is more.
The best way to describe the feeling is with Santa Claus. Growing up, you start to realize there is no Santa Claus, then once you reach youth, it's a known fact. But now it's like I desperately want to believe but I just know it's not true.
What do you guys recommend? Any Christians here that can shine some light on this?
by 
burst.apart
ANSWERS: 3
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian nor does believing in Santa Claus make you mature. Since we're all predestined for a particular purpose, you will indeed find redirection on any cause you spend the most time and energy with. It is all about what makes you happy, whether it be in the Christian Faith, Atheism, Buddhism or perhaps nothing as you claim.
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First I was raised in a Christian family. As I became a teen, I became an atheist. Then I became a Christian again after reading the Gospels. I had decided that this universe is too complex to just 'happen'. There is so much more to everything.
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Find the book, "The Royal Law of Liberty: Living in Freedom Under Christ's Law of Love." It should clearify to you what you desire to know. The easiest place to get it is from Amazon books. I hope you take the time to read it. I have read it 5 times and learn more each time I do.
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