ANSWERS: 1
  • On the simplest level it would be very natural since you like him and he is interesting and makes you feel what you want to feel. And you could learn a lot from him and being part of his world. But there are other things you should think about. If your mum had a sexual relationship with him (you don't say that she did) you should not pursue one yourself because of the tension it would cause. And perhaps you should be asking your mum if she thinks it is a good idea for you to be with him? She may well think it is not because he is much older than you and she might see some negative aspects to his character that you in your enthusiasm for him have missed. Like for instance how he treats women. Many men will act one way during courtship but when we fall for them we just become to them like a possession and they no longer talk to us or share with us. And please understand that because you are new not only in the area but in the country you have not yet had time to make many friends of your own - once you give yourself the time to do that you might meet younger men you like and will want to be with them. And think about whether being with him would prevent you from forming friendships and relationships with people your own age. Because if you are hanging with his crowd or even living with him you will probably get in with an older group of people. And once you start a sexual relationship with him and if it is good that will just pull you closer to him and you will develop stronger feelings for him so you might be spending more and more of your time just on him and less on yourself. Plus you might expect more from him that he would not be willing to give. Men often like to be with younger less experienced women because they can feel more in charge and in control and sophisticated with them which they may not really be at all. So all of these are things to think about. Especially how it might affect your relationship with your mum.
    • RebeccaSJ
      As a Christian, I was raised to believe that premarital sex was wrong. I've been a strong public advocate of waiting. I wrote a song about it, which I have performed many times in front of audiences. Waiting is hard. I used to tour several months a year and the tour is lonely. I didn't wait. I wound up having sex before marriage. I let a guy seduce me when I was 25. I married at 33. I enjoy sex. I'm not ashamed of that fact.

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