ANSWERS: 12
  • Tell her no, politely, and in a way she can't ignore. "I'd really like to decorate the baby's room myself because I'm really looking forward to it and I have some great ideas" Also, remember that this may be her first grandchild, or maybe she just likes grandchildren. It must be very exciting. I have to tell my mother in law to back off quite often, I just had her first grandchild and she seems to think she can drag me and a newborn child around the town all day. So I just tell her straight up what's what. Be honest, but be polite.
  • Just sit her down and tell her. She is probably just scared that once the baby comes, her son and you will have less time for her. Is it her first grandchild? Because that would explain everything :P If you don't feel comfortable telling her, or think maybe she will take it the wrong way, ask your husband to lightly mention it.
  • im a blunt person. i would tell her how you feel, its your baby, your house. NOT hers!!
  • have your husband deal with her! LOL! No, you need to stand up for yourself and have a gentle but firm conversation: "Mom, I appreciate your help, I NEED your help, but you have to let me ask for your help where I need it most. "I need to be making most of these decisions and I need your help in implementing them. I want and value your opinion, but *I* need to make the decision" Be sure to thank her, repeatedly, for her energy, efforts and support all along the way, but be sure to communicate your expectation of her role. If you don't have this conversation now, you are setting a pattern for your Mother-in-law's interaction with your children for the rest of her life. You will be fighting with her for dominance of your children and she will be actively critical of your behavior for ever. It's really not fair to be too upset with her if you don't have the conversation - people get in more trouble assuming "Well, she SHOULD know I hate it..." etc... The worst thing that happens is she gets mad and withdraws... So, you get to made the decisions. She'll thaw somewhat after baby gets here.
  • You need to set boundaries NOW or else things will just get worse when the baby comes. My MIL did the same thing, and it was the hardest thing to say to her "I think I want this to be about me and (husband) only today" and "I just need some time to do some things without you around" As soon as I said those things a light went off in her head and she backed off right away. She always offers help "If I need" but never invites herself to do things anymore and thank god! Things would NOT be kosher between us if I hadn't been able to set boundaries before the baby came Good luck!
  • I would ask your husband what you should do to get your point across to her without offending her. He knows her better ya know. If he cant come up with an Idea I would just let her know that This is a very special time for you and you would like to do it your self.. ..If you really do not mind it may be nice to let her help YOU. If she cant just help..such as putting boarder up or things you may not be able to do,then just do not offer to let her help. there will be plenty of time for her to be a grandmother and to do grandmother things. The room can be yours. She probley is excited like you to be getting the baby into the family. Try to compromise the best way you can. Good luck!! The "mother-in-law" thing has now begun. and Congrats on the new little one.
  • I would ask your husband what you should do to get your point across to her without offending her. He knows her better ya know. If he cant come up with an Idea I would just let her know that This is a very special time for you and you would like to do it your self.. ..If you really do not mind it may be nice to let her help YOU. If she cant just help..such as putting boarder up or things you may not be able to do,then just do not offer to let her help. there will be plenty of time for her to be a grandmother and to do grandmother things. The room can be yours. She probley is excited like you to be getting the baby into the family. Try to compromise the best way you can. Good luck!! The "mother-in-law" thing has now begun. and Congrats on the new little one.
  • I agree with another post . Let her know up front (politely) that you are looking forward to spending that time with your husband getting the nursery ready for YOUR child . Get most of it done yourself ......then find something that she could do to add her touch to the room . I'm a Mother 5x's over . And people still with each pregnancy were so eager to help . And while it's nice to know they care , sometimes they can be pushy . I myself just became a great aunt ....thank you very much ! LOL And I had to remember to back off . Even though she was my favorite niece and and I her favorite aunt . IT WASN'T MY BABY . Sometimes we just want to help , not knowing we are stepping on others toes . We need to know when we are , if someone doesn't tell us we don't know . Just tell her that you will let her know when it is that you need her help . She'll be waiting eagerly for that call .....I bet you................
  • I agree with another post . Let her know up front (politely) that you are looking forward to spending that time with your husband getting the nursery ready for YOUR child . Get most of it done yourself ......then find something that she could do to add her touch to the room . I'm a Mother 5x's over . And people still with each pregnancy were so eager to help . And while it's nice to know they care , sometimes they can be pushy . I myself just became a great aunt ....thank you very much ! LOL And I had to remember to back off . Even though she was my favorite niece and and I her favorite aunt . IT WASN'T MY BABY . Sometimes we just want to help , not knowing we are stepping on others toes . We need to know when we are , if someone doesn't tell us we don't know . Just tell her that you will let her know when it is that you need her help . She'll be waiting eagerly for that call .....I bet you................
  • I agree with another post . Let her know up front (politely) that you are looking forward to spending that time with your husband getting the nursery ready for YOUR child . Get most of it done yourself ......then find something that she could do to add her touch to the room . I'm a Mother 5x's over . And people still with each pregnancy were so eager to help . And while it's nice to know they care , sometimes they can be pushy . I myself just became a great aunt ....thank you very much ! LOL And I had to remember to back off . Even though she was my favorite niece and and I her favorite aunt . IT WASN'T MY BABY . Sometimes we just want to help , not knowing we are stepping on others toes . We need to know when we are , if someone doesn't tell us we don't know . Just tell her that you will let her know when it is that you need her help . She'll be waiting eagerly for that call .....I bet you................
  • I agree with another post . Let her know up front (politely) that you are looking forward to spending that time with your husband getting the nursery ready for YOUR child . Get most of it done yourself ......then find something that she could do to add her touch to the room . I'm a Mother 5x's over . And people still with each pregnancy were so eager to help . And while it's nice to know they care , sometimes they can be pushy . I myself just became a great aunt ....thank you very much ! LOL And I had to remember to back off . Even though she was my favorite niece and and I her favorite aunt . IT WASN'T MY BABY . Sometimes we just want to help , not knowing we are stepping on others toes . We need to know when we are , if someone doesn't tell us we don't know . Just tell her that you will let her know when it is that you need her help . She'll be waiting eagerly for that call .....I bet you................
  • 1) dont worry, its ok, we ll arrange it, me and my husband, but thanks all the same! if she isnt going away, 'smile'; 2) no, it wouldnt be necessary, but thanks all the same! if she still isnt going away, 'smile'; 3) thanks, you know, but i guess we ll manage it, me and hubby. if she still isnt going away, 'smile'; 4) dont worry, we ll have fun with it, of course, decor for 'ours!' baby! just relax, dont worry. if she still isnt going away, 'smile'; 5) its really kind that you offered, tho i think we should be doing fine for now! if she still isnt going away, smile and repeat 1 to 5 and substitute 'smile' with 'a little esperation and embrarassment'.

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