What would you do if the love of your life said they needed space so they can "discover" themselves?
by 
DeadEnough
ANSWERS: 91
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I would give him space but with no promises that I would still be there for him when he finally decided to come back.
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Been there. That means they are gently letting you go.....to pursue someone else.
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let them go, they'll just pull away anyways if that's what they want to do.
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maybe indirectly saying that there is something wrong with you or that you are too clingy?
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What if they are heavily depressed and do not want to be with anyone? The reason they do not want to be with anyone is because they do not want to answer to anyone. They want to be selfish and do what they have to do
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Let them. If things arent getting better by trying the same ol things, then a different outlook might help in the long term.
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Let them have some space
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I would be like ill give you all the space you need, ill be here for you when you decide to get back and i am forever yours and will always be faithful. then from time to time id call to check up see how they are doing just to let them know i care. and id tell him that i hope you find what your looking for but i hope im included in that but if im not thats okay too...as long as you are happy
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This "reason" is plain old bullcrap. The love of your life is on his way out of your life. That is blunt, but you can't stop it. The best thing you can do is to get together with some old friends and make some new ones. Good luck.
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Let them do it. Meet up for lunch or something to see how they are doing in a few weeks or month. Make sure this is not just some BS to see someone else or sleep around. During this away time work on yourself. Be proactive! How about your hobbies and interests? Do some reading about relationships, reflect, hang out with friends, exercise, try to discover/rediscover what makes you happy. Go on a few dates if you want. Remember, sometimes people just need to figure a few things out. Also, think about the love you shared. Was it healthy? Based on dependency and fear, or actual admiration and friendship? Hang in there. Try to live in the moment.
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I'd wish him bon voyage and set off on a journey of my own. If we meet again in the future, so be it. If we don't, there will be someone else along the way.
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I would say I need some space myself ..see ya!! Then i would go home and cry buckets.
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I would give them their much needed space...how's a thousand miles for a start...more is available. I think that statement is a discovery all on its own...lol.
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That depends upon the circumstances. What are the expectations of fidelity, etc? In the case of taking a "break from the relationship", I would wish him the best of luck, and inform him that he should have no expectations of me in terms of a relationship, or in terms of waiting for him.
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I would think that it was just an excuse to fool around and give them all the space they wanted, permanently.
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It happened to me. He told me the same thing. I gave him his space, and what do you know, now we have been together for 7 years, have two beautiful children and are getting married in two months.
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I would throw away my emotions and "discover" someone else.
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A person should have "discovered" themself before they entered into a relationship.
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Someone did that to me once already and I let him play with me all he wanted. Thankfully, it was a learning experience and if my bf now tried doing that I'd leave and he'd never hear from me again. It won't take long for him to "discover" that he let go the best thing in his life.
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Give it to them, I like mine too.
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dump his ass
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Sometimes people rush into the dating scene to early in life and need to be alone to come to peace inside. They really can't offer you much until they "know" who they really are. the worst thing you can do right now is "smother" them and try to convince them to stay with you. Go on a "finding myself" vacation too. It will be refreshing. And you may just find some inner strength you didn't know you had.
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Pack. I've been there once, and will never go through it again.
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i would give him the space and the time that he needed , i would wait a lifetime for him if that is what it took. and i would remain faithfull .
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Give them their space - don't try to make someone stay who doesn't want to. Contrary to what some have said needing to find yourself can be a very valid thing - keep in mind that part of that "discovery" often involves exploring relationships with others. But having said that if it's meant to be you will find your way back to eachother and will be better off for the time apart - especially if you work on you during this time as well.
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I am 7 years married blessed w/ 2 beautiful kids to a man who once told me "he needed space". Part of that discovery we both had relationship to other person. Until then we both realized we still felt 'empty' inside. Our heart is longing to be "us" together. I believe, if you are not w/ the person that is the time you will realize his worth. Set him free. Let him soar. If he comes back, he is meant for you.
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Been there done that. Its a really good time for YOU to figure things out. Sometimes a break can be mutual, you might not have wanted him to be the one to take the break, but he also might have been keeping things inside instead of talking to you about it. Its a hard thing to deal with. But dont think that you were doing anything wrong. He is the one having the problems, and if he wants to talk to you about it, let him. In time he's going to realize what he did and what he lost, and hes going to want it back. Then its your turn to decide if you want it back. Just have fun right now, set boundaries(if you are going to be able to see someone else, or if you are going to stay in touch with each other), and if you call him just to say hi and he doesnt answer the phone, leave a short and sweet vm for him and dont call him until he calls you. Good Luck
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How much space... maybe you should give the whole house... no i'm kidding... just let him be by himself for a few days, just make sure they don't go with any hookers or anything...
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Most say that to their partner when they feel the relationship is going kaputz. At that time they either will end things or come back.
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I'd probably say, If you don't know who in the hell you are after 43 years, you're never going to know.
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Dump her. She's got another.
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Interpret the code to mean "I need space to discover someone else".
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As hard and painful as it sounds, the best thing to do is to let him/her find what he/she is looking for. If you really love this person, you would want him/her to be happy even if it means that it is not with you (this is what i did to my bf 3 days ago). If things are meant to happen it will happen if it doesnt then you are bound to meet somebody better.
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I would let them go because if I didn't, I would just be making them miserable, and that isn't what real love is about.
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This actually did happen to me and I did give him his space. Which btw he gladly used to go and sleep with his ex wife as much as he possibly could want to because I was not around to get in the way. Good luck and keep in mind someone who loves you wants to be in the same space you are in.
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I say give him the space he needs. I wanted space from my boyfriend and I told him I needed a break but he believed that I just wanted to date other guys. The truth was that I just really needed space. Well, we broke up for two and half months and then we came across each other again. We tried the whole "just friends" thing but we both were still in love with one another. So we got back together and have been dating ever since. Throughout those months we both changed but our love didn't. Sometimes giving the significant other what they need will only strengthen the relationship.
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Go discover myself at the same time.
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I'd give em a map and tell them to huryy it up :-)
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All the space is between his ears. It's been my experience that he'll break your heart, then you'll find a new love just when everything is wonderful he'll get in touch with you and make you start thinking about him all over again. Don't go there. Don't ask me why? It just seems to happen that way. So the sooner you move on and fall in love again the sooner he'll come to his sences!!!!!!!!! Go Girl
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that line sounds familiar!my recent boyfrend broke up wid me cause he said he needed space.....dont fall for it..its a load of lies...after i gave him his space he wanted me back then he dumped me again for no reason at all..just said hed rather be friends..i began to except that until i seen him the other night looking rather cosy with an old flame of his!!what a f****r!very heartless of him i thought
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Get them a NASA application form and a magnifying glass!
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I would let them do it. I know that they are breaking up with me.
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Let them go. They may need the time to discover that they had themselves all along, or they may simply need an "out". Either way, I wouldn't want to become the object of their frustration and disatisfaction by standing in their way.
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I would open the door and say "I hope you find what you are looking for", and then I would move on, life is to short
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go ahead and break up with them because that is a bullshit excuse anyway. i had a girl that was supposedly in love with me whom i had been dating for several months tell me that. turns out that she just wanted to date this other guy she had met and didnt have the guts to come out and admit it.
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Give them space. It would hurt, but I'd rather them be happy than me selfish.
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Well she did not tell me, just stopped communicating for 4 days. When she told me what was happening (she was having a hard time with being so far apart). We has a long talk about it and ever since then both of us have been happy together. I say give them the space to notice how important you are to them.
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Usually when someone says they need "space", it means that they either want to see if there is somebody better out there or they already found someone else. Of course, instead of just breaking it off completely, they tell you they need "space", so that way when they realize that there IS no one better than you, they can come back. If someone truly wants to be with you, they dont want space because they cant stand to not be around that person. So my advice: They want space, give them exactly what they asked for. Cut off ALL communication. Dont see them, dont call them, and dont accept their phone calls. Yes it is easier said than done, but they will wonder why all of the sudden YOU need space and will wise up pretty quickly.
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If you love them you would give them the space... Let them discover themselves.. It is a hard thing to do, but if you truly love them and they love you they will come back.. It is a part of growing up. Good luck!!!
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I'd be bummed out of course, but i would respect the needs of my partner...i think if you have open communication so that everyone involved feels secure it could be a really good thing.
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..with another lover?
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"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to discover you fully before you had a chance to. My bad. I thought 20 years was enough to do that." Then I'd just walk away and pass him in grocery stores. I think if someone wants to break up with you, there's better things to say that that. Like the truth. That discovering yourself stuff in a pile of...
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let them go and tell them i will always be here for you
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I'd let them go, of course. Keeping someone in chains is wrong. But I would feel sad and left aside, maybe not loved anymore and I would look for confort in other people, so this could even take me to cheating and looking for admiration in someone else.
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that happened to me just recently, only instead of wanting "space" he told me he couldnt get "too attached". That was after he worked very hard to get me to fall for him in the first place. I let him go without fight and told him "i just want you to be happy." And wouldnt you know it, 10 days later he left me a sad and lonely sounding voicemail. His call has not been returned.
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Id say.......who they hell do you think you are!? christopher Columbus?.........how about discovering my foot planted in your ass!
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i would probably be sad and maybe even pissed, but i would let him do it and leave him, there's other fish in the world
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if you love someone set them free. if they come back, it was meant to be.
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If he is the love of your life I would give him space and tell him i'd be there for him whenever he needs me
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Depends if you think he is messing with your head, and wants to so he can see what else is out there, I wouldn't recommend jumping into bed, but maybe go on a date with someone else it doesn't have to be a sexual thing, but you tell him you went out with someone else before he could and if your more attractive it could work for your benefit, He will probably come running back or be pissed off and leave you. But if he thinks your not going to wait on him he might just straighten up.
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Give him/her a flag and a boat and a hearty bon voyage!
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Tell her that you respect her decision and immediately start seeing other women
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Give them space, you have no choice....but in the mean time ask yourself do you want to be with someone who needs space and time away from you, or would you prefer to be with someone who would never want to lose a moment with you
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Sorry to say but I'd realise it was over.
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Been there. I gave my husband of 18 years the "space" he asked for....he ran right into the arms of his girfriend....we're now divorced. LOL
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You've heard that saying "If you love them let them go."? I'd sulk and cry and over eat and all kinds of things to get through it but, I'd let go. There really isn't much else you can do.
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I'd give him space because I was given space from him. He was ready to wait for a long long long time, and all he wanted and still wants is me to be happy, and he wants it honestly. I admire people like that, and yes, I would wait. Not forever of course, not without serious pain, but yes, sure.Because I love him.
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Send em to the moon. LOL I discovered myself when I was four. That is a lame way of saying, I am not happy in this relationship, and I am not going to try and fix, I am going to run away. Bye Bye.
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Give it to them. I found myself, I found him, then I lost myself. So I ask him time-out (possibly indefinitely) to find myself again. I told him: In order to recover "us", I must recover "me" first.
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Give them all the space they need and in doing so, you may discover "YOURself" in the bargain.
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Let him do it, cry for a few weeks, then learn to stand on my own two feet again, and swear never to take him back. I did all except the last part. Biggest mistake I've made in a while.
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honestly this is a great idea and I would let them take this trip to have them discover themselves some ppl say that this will ruin something in the relationship i think if you trust your spouse or lover you would let them do something like this. if you say you wont do it idk it feels to me that your not trusting your spouse
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I am currently going through the exact same thing. However, I don't worry about the "letting me go to explore someone else..." only because I know how we feel about each other...but I know how miserable he is right now with his own life. I feel sad that I can't make it better. But all you can do is hope that they will come back around...better, healthier...for themselves and your relationship.
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I would run far away if I were you. I mean, you can give him space, but it depends HOW he asked for that space. If he acted distant until you had to force it out of him to discover that's what he wanted, then I'd say be careful and be prepared for the worse outcome. But if he was thoughtful in addressing what he wanted properly, then give him space BUT only give him about two weeks. If he hasn't called you by then or shown that he misses you in some way- then kick him to the curb because he could possibly be cheating on you. I recently found out "space" meant another girl.
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my fiancee is pretty much doing that to me right now. Im going to try and give her space for awhile and see what happens. Hopefully everything will work out though, I love her alot.
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I am sorry to say, but all you can do is give them space and wait, tell them that if he/she needs you they know how to contact you and give them what they ask for, you have t respect a persons feeling and wishes, if its meant for you it will come back to you dont matter how long it may take...I hate the sound of "don't matter how long it take" but its true.
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I'd have them "discover" thier ass out the door. If that's what they want, fine. There's no revolving door though.
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I would tell "Christopher Columbus" to put their ass back on the boat and set sail.....cheap cop-out
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let me tell you something my frist love tell me that he need space and i gave to him a space in a about 2 week late he was with different gril. It broke my hear and i cry every nigh but in few month late i find a guy better then my ex and now i am happy with my boyfriend about 4 year but te;ll me get you some adive to you please if a guy ask you he need a space taht mean "hey i like different girl but i do not want to hurt you" i wil tell you to move on and forget about you ex because when is he a space he is with different girl but he will not say he is with different girls his plan is that if he drump the girl he had a back plan that mean he want you back that is not good that mean he is use you. so go on and move with you life you will find someone better that him trust me speacil when u do not know you love with find you ok eamil me if u have a question or want to ask me soemthing ok at my babetinahot@yaoo.com thnaks and tell me what happen please
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Let them go. As painful as is and even if you still love them, let them go. My fiance and I broke up a month ago. She said she needs to deal with her anger issues and her CPA while i deal with my financial and career issues. I was dishonest with my financial issues, and she picked up everything from our apartment and left. She wants to meet up in a year to make things work. Whatever you do, DO NOT let guilt get the best of you. Move on Like cbdsti says, work on yourself and your goals and move forward. If the love for that person is still there after a year, then it's meant to be. The truth will make itself known in the end...
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My boyfriend did this. He said he wanted space to find himself and be a better boyfriend to me. What he really meant was that he wanted to keep his ties to me, but also make sure there wasn't anything better out there. He didn't want to let me go, but he wanted to make sure I was the one. I then discovered that during his time of space he was seeing other girls. Just be cautious. If they say they need space to discover themselves, it also means they need space to make sure you are the one they really want. And that's dangerous.
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that means they are confused and dont know what they really want so you have to play the game with them and make them realize they want you. act like you dont care and its no big deal it works every time for me i just reversed the role they will come crawling back and when they do slowly say yes with limits im telling you it works
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Give them space and prtend its ok.. theyll come back i assure u.
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I live my realtionships this way. "If you love them, you can let them go." I did have a man I loved deeply and he said he needed "space" That was the hardest thing I ever had to due when it comes to the matters of the heart but over time (indeed some time) I did. Now the bum wants me back and he is sooooo not my type. I would run circles around him now lol. The heart is truly a tricky thing.
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It happened to me,after a month or so we broke up,In my opinion it will not end good,sorry for you.
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Meh, I would give her space. If she ends up leaving, it would really suck, but I can be happy single.
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this happened to me on the 14 0f this month he sad he needed space and to "discover" if he is in fact gay straight or bi i have been absolutly devostated but i am staying stong because if our love is as true as we first thought it was then together we can weather any storm so i am staying strong and havin faith that we will be okay :)
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They are being nice to you. What they really mean is they are either not interested in a serious relationship right now or they are not interested in a serious relationship with YOU right now. Either way~ give them lots of space, but don't wait for them. Lots of fish in the sea.
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Move my lover in.
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id give hinn all the space he wants since he nnight leave if i dont
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Give him space and move on with my life. Wait for no one, there is life to be lived. "I need space" is a nicer albeit very weak and pathetic way of breaking up with someone so that they can try to hook up with someone else. Too many better fish than to stress over that one.
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