ANSWERS: 21
  • If you want to continue the relationship with your boyfriend, you do need to tell him what you did and who you did it with. Be prepared for him to be very hurt, even angry. If you love him, you should allow him as much time as he needs to heal emotionally - and even to leave you if he doesn't feel he can or that it is just not worth it. Relationships can survive infidelity. I know from personal experience, but you must have patience. It will take a long time for him to trust you again - months, even years. If possible, the two of you should consider relationship counseling. If you don't tell him, you will be carrying a dark secret. That's never good, and it's effects will increase over time. Good relationships are based on trust and, as far as I'm concerned, lying in that way is just as bad if not worse than cheating. If you don't want to stay with your boyfriend, or don't know what you want, it's time for you to tell him and break it off - at least for now.
  • ok well my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend!!! ya what a great guy!! anyways he told me about it and at first i wish he didnt tell me and i just didnt want to know because somethings are better kept to yourself.But after a while i decided it was probably a good thing he told me because if he didnt we would still all be hanging out and it could have happened again. my boyfriend and i are still together and i am now 6 months pregnant. But i think you should tell him but listen to your heart it will always know whats best. If your intution tells you that you should tell him then i would say tell him he will be happy you did later on.
  • You must tell him. This situation is more dire than cheating with a random person because there is a paper trail, so to speak. You don't know who the person you cheated with told, you don't know who they told, and you also don't know what version of the story is floating around. If this person knows your boyfriend, I am assuming that this person knew that your boyfriend was in fact dating you. Since he then proceeded to cheat, it seems that he doesn't have much respect for your boyfriend, and isn't going to try very hard to keep your secret. Finding out from a third party is ten times more hurtful than hearing it from the source. It causes a huge rift in the relationship because the trust is hurt, but it also feels as though other, uninvolved people, know more about the relationship than your boyfriend. Plus, it always hurts to be the last to know when something important in your life has happened. Moreover, coming clean in general is just the best idea.
  • Never cheat and tell. This is the only instance where dishonesty is the right. Cheating is one wrong; telling someone something that will hurt them is the second wrong thing. Two wrongs never make a right. Keep your mouth shut and never admit it. Learn from the experience and don't cheat any more.
  • well if you did what the user "sayingitoutloud" has said wouldn't you fell guilty feeling that you have held something, that if it does slip out in the future, would hurt him. I think that you should sit him down and make him at ease and let him know what has happened. 1st of all i feel bad for this guy for what you have done but i hope, that if you do tell him, that everything would turn out ok. I hope this was helpfull.
  • I'll use an example to explain why honesty is the best policy, regardless. I had been joking at work and said something quite demeaning about my first wife. It wasn't a nice thing to do, but it was done. That evening I told her what I had said, explained the circumstances and apologised. I had to apologise several times over the next few days, with flowers, etc. The following week we were attending a party for one of my work colleagues, who was leaving us. Another colleague, rather drunk, staggered up to my wife and loudly asked if she knew that I had called her The Hag Beast From Hell. Quick as a flash she made a retort (that I will not print here) and he left very quickly with (metaphorical) egg on his face. How different it would have been if I had lied or kept silent about a misplaced comment. Now think how much hurt could be visited on your boyfriend by your silence or lies. You have to tell him and take it squarely on the chin. If he still wants you you will have to work hard - very hard - for a long time to get the trust back, and if he doesn't - well, it's his choice.
  • u need to tell him...because later on if u want to get married of wutever ur always goin to have this serect and he will find out no matter how much u denied the truth comes out.. the sayitoutloud person that is bad advise...u dont tell know its going to be worst in the long run.
  • You won't forgive yourself if you don't tell him. If there is secret that you're hiding from him, the longer you put it off, the more damage it will do. The sooner you tell him the sooner you'll feel better about yourself, and the more likely he is to still be trusting and know that you love him enough to tell him and not keep it from him.
  • Yes you should tell him you cheated and who with. He has a right to know who he can trust and who he can't.
  • i would say he isnt your bf now that you have cheated on him -let him be happy - take it from there
  • if you want to keep him dont tell. but if you really wanted him in the first place, why cheat?
  • You need to tell him. There are many reasons to do this, but, honestly, the biggest is that he has a right to decide whether or not he wants to continue a relationship with you based upon the facts. To keep this information from him to prevent him breaking up with you is manipulative and controlling. If he doesn't want to be with you under these circumstances, and you keep the relationship together just by keeping him from knowing about the circumstances, you are forcing him to do something he wouldn't otherwise do through deliberately keeping him ignorant of the facts. You've already done a horrifically hurtful thing. You did what you were going to do regardless of his feelings on the matter. That doesn't say anything flattering about the priority you place on his feelings. If this relationship mattered so much to you, you wouldn't have jeopardized it by hurting him so badly. Don't lie to yourself that you would keep it from him to protect him. If your motivations were to protect him, you wouldn't have cheated. The only reason you would consider not telling him is to protect yourself - again at his expense. If you would do this after cheating on him, you really deserve to be single.
  • don't tell him if u think that ur bf is the type of guy that will react angrily and dump u don tell him n besides wat he dont know won hurt him...n if u don feel guilty don tell him just think of it as da past n move on
  • Well if you cheated on him that means that YOU think theres something wrong with him. I mean, honestly, why cheat on somebody who's perfect?Find out what that problem is, try to fix it, and bury this incident so far in your closet, it never sees the light of day again.
  • You fucked him over once by cheating on him. He deserves to know, and to have the ability to give you a second chance or not.
  • tell him everything and if you're lucky, he won't hate you.
  • I had a girlfriend cheat on me with a couple different people I knew. It went on behind my back forever until someone finally was man enough to admit to it. If you want to sleep around, then you shouldn't be dating someone seriously. Tell him. You have to. Save him some pain and humiliation, let him get away from you while he still can.
  • He is only your BF therefore you are a free agent and you can do as you please as long as it does not physically harm someone else. If you tell your B/F it may cause problems you might not be ready for but to not tell him and let him hear it from else where can be worse. Still you are under NO obligation to tell him anything you do not wish too. What you do is your business even if he is your B/F or for that matter husband.
  • Tell him you cheated, tell him who you cheated with...then leave him. He deserves better. :) No offense..
  • No! You have a sex drive--go for it. He doesn't need to be the source of all your orgasms. Life is short, you should try having an affair.
  • Is the person you cheated with likely to tell your boyfriend? If so then you had best CYA by telling him first.

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