I did it Friday. I did it one step at a time. DIdnt think about tomorrow, just the moment and what needed to be done right then. Got the car loaded, called the other, went to work and we talked for a while. Still talking on the phone- I drove 700 miles away. You must have faith that you are doingthe rightthing. You must do it with a good heart- no ill willl to the other. No bad mouthing the other. Just move towards peace and happiness- then share it. YES- this hurts- like rippingof a bandage.But- hoestly, now- two days out from the departure, I see a brighter future, I am happier. The other even said sleep was easy- which it hadent been for a very long time.

first of all you love so much but when he/she is not right person for you, then you are going to repent for that. here you can follow your heart and date that person and find it out for yourself later. no problem, who knows it might work, the problems you thought might not look like problems anymore. (but my opinion, if i am sure it doesn't work, i hate to take chances in relationships, i know that perception is bad). but don't fall for her/him, it is gonna hurt you bad if it doesn't work. and second, you can conveniently forget them, you can achieve it by just noting down all the negative points of that person and recollect them every time you see them or think of them. it really works, believe me. also i saw that in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. :) it is gonna take some time. God bless!

I had to do it too once. he wasn't wrong for me but because of a major difference between us; i knew it would negatively affect our future. It was extremely difficult after being with him for 8 yrs and required a lot of strength to let him go. i still think of him. even after breaking up we talked a few times and emailed. anything that was or is associated with him still brings back memory of him. but the whole point is to be realistic. someone that can't be yours for reason u know better then its best to let that person go. he/she deserves someone else's love and was not the right person for u. the longer you prolong it the more difficult it becomes to leave that person (i know this from my experience). and it will hurt not just u but the other person even more. think of the good times and memories u made and try to move on.u find the strength by maybe spending your time with good friends and your family. maybe go out do things that will take your mind off from that person for awhile. with time it does get easier.

I think the fact that you're asking means you probably already know the answer to at least the second part of the question. Boy do I wish that there was an easier way to do it, but the only way around the pain is through it. I had to do this a few years back. I can't tell you how deep within myself I had to dig to "quit him cold turkey." That was it. No calling him. No taking his calls. No seeing each other. Oh, did that hurt! I literally ached for him for months. But there was always this little voice inside of me that said if I could just keep making it through, I would come out of it a better, stronger person. Critical for me? Support. I was lucky enough to have a friend I could call, and I did, in the beginning, practically every day. Sometimes several times a day. And he would let me ramble on and on, saying the same things over and over, and he would always listen and he would always be on my side! Sometimes he would leave work early and we'd go for a drink or to dinner or to the park and he'd let me rant some more. Eventually, and unbelievably to me, the pain started to subside. He was no longer the filter through which I saw the world. Things gradually began to get better. I can't tell you the sense of pride and strength I gained by being able to do this! And now, several years later? I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about him occasionally, but now it feels like he was part of another life. Walk through the pain. You'll be amazed at who you can find on the other side.

My ex dumped me after 10 years saying she still loved me but thought we were over. 4 years later I have been in a relationship for 3 years and she has had numerous boyfreinds and now wants me back (no way). Take what you will from this answer.

if you do know that this particular person is wrong for you,then you have to consider breaking up as being the lesser of the two evils.depending on how deeply in love you are you may have to live with two or three years of pain,but thats far better fifteen or twenty years of a wrong relationship.getting a tooth pulled is no fun but leaving a bad tooth in is far worse.

You have to follow your heart. Hopefully your not already married, because it will make things easier. You are not legally bound. Don't get yourself anymore involve with this person, if you know that it is wrong. You will have a lot of hard times, that could be avoided now. I once loved someone alot and married the man. There were plenty of red flags, but I did not listen and found out the hard way. I don't wish this on nobody. Be confident with yourself. It will hurt to leave him now, but will be beneficial to you and your future kids if you have none now. Let him/her know that you care about them very much, but you feel that this relationship is wrong and you have to leave. If you feel like he will get violent or anything, leave while he's at work and do not let him know your whereabouts.

My boyfriend of three years told me yesterday that in 6 weeks time he will be leaving the country. He doesn't know where he is going to go yet, or how he will do it. He just wants a dramatic life change. We are very different people, but manage to strike a loving and beautiful balance. We are totally in love and don't want to be apart, but I have a job and a mortgage. If I could up sticks and move with him I would totally go. But it is not that easy. Difficult does not even describe it. I feel as though I am in a 'heart vs. head' scenario. I say follow your instincts, live the way you want to live. Can't love change the possibilities of what is reality? How can you realistically be in love when it defies so much that is tangibly real? Do what you feel is the right thing for you and who cares whether you heart or head made the decision. Good luck with whatever you decide. As for me? Who knows...

I am going throught this right now but me and my fiancee have a young child and I am feeling guilty about breaking up our family. We don't fight and there is nothing terrible with our relationship but we also don't get along great and we are not really friends. I agreed to go to counseling to see if it will work for our child's sake but I still feel like it is a waste of time because deep down I know we are not right for each other.

i am going thru this decision right now... and i am happy to hear the responses and comments .. clearly time heals most wounds ... this is just a fact of life... regardless i am going thru hell with this.. my advice is prevention,,,, do not get serious unless you really get along very well.. of ccourse people can and will change no one can see that coming.. but try your best to join in love with some one you can define as a soulmate and give it time before you decide, in order to avoid this terrible pain separation causes.. and most certanly do not leave on a bad note if at all possible.. the old saying do not burn the bridge beyind you applies here also, not due to a come back but for your peace of mind and mental health

something similar happened to me like that...we were togther for 2 yrs and he had to move out of state and we tried to make it work because i loved him so much but it didnt i still think back and about him but i dont think it would of worked in the long run because he stated doin somethings i didnt aprove of so you just have to think to yourself "is this for me" and take into consiteration his and your feelings and do whats right for you. remember you dont want to look back later on and ask yourself what if...

Wrong for you? What are the reasons they are wrong for you? If they are "wrong for you" because they cause you pain over and over again, than yes, reason should prevail and tell you to get the heck out of that relationship. It is instinct to run away from danger, so it will not be as hard as you think (done it myself). You just have to keep repeating to yourself that you are firm in your decision and will not change your mind no matter what. Once some time passes, you will see that you are better off without this person. It will get easier with some time. If they are "wrong for you" for some minor reasons, like race or status or whatever, than I think one should turn towards the matters of the heart. The heart, here, must be the one that has to determine (with the help of the mind) how many sacrifices it is willing to make for that person.

i would like to say that you should be realistic and i would like to be realistic. however i dont think i would be strong enough to leave someone who i love. it hurts so much doesnt it? i have some experiences of having let someone i loved so much go a couple of times and it really ripped my heart out. it was so painful that i wanted to kill myself. i know that i did a right thing now. i can say that now but i couldnt see or i didnt want to see that we were not right together. im sorry that i cant give you a good answer but i know how you feel and i know how sad you are. i just want to cheer you up.

I am going through the same thing. We have been together 8 years, and have 2 kids. Our youngest is only a month old. We have broken up a few times and always get back together. I want to make it work, but I think we are just to differant now. I am stuck on what is the right thing to do.

I'm going through this now. It seems impossible that I could live without him. We have two beautiful children and 9 painful years. Partly I feel as if I will never love another.that after this my shipped has sailed and I will live the rest of my life alone. But he doesn't know how to love me or he just doesn't love me. There is no difference. Living with him has been too painful and now I know I have to leave to save myself; to be a better person; a better mother. but even knowing this it is still killing me.

hmm... i am happy for all those who have moved on to their unhappy relationship. it just seems so sad good things always last. when we're in love we're floating above the clouds, can't sleep, can't eat and always thinking about the other, then the same when you fall out of love. sometimes when we're fighting i always think there's no solution to our problem. we always fight about her family over and over again, i know she can live without me but not without her family. That's a fact i kept pushing in my mind, but heart has a mind of its own.

Okay so I have so been through this same thing. last year i was in this great relationship and i loved her to death, but i kept questioning the future, and feeling that she was the wrong person for me. I really loved this girl and it was the hardest thing that i have ever did telling her that i think we should break up, but i did it and almost right away started regretting it. it has been a year and i still reget letting her go and now that my future is becomming more clear to me now, she fits and im kicking myself for not waiting it out a little bit longer. so i guess my point is love does not come along all the time and you are very lucky if u can have such strong feelings for someone. ill get to my point by saying that make sure you really have thought it through. everyone has doubts especislly when it come to the future. love comes in all different ways you cant pick and choose and you will never know if someone is wrong for you, if you want live in the moment i say yes you should break up it will be hard but its best for you right now, but take it from me give it some more time things can change right before your eyes and you dont want it to be too late.. if you love someone that much, how could you say that there wrong for you. you really will never know at the moment but time tells all!

I am in the same situation, I love my B/F very much and I dont really want to give up on this relationship but I can see no furture together. Things were good in the begining, now its like I am just a friend to him. But I am gonna have to do whats right for me, and just move on with my life, It will be hard but I guess time is the real healier.

I dont think i have the strength. I had issues with my bf, and i know i have to leave him, yet i gave him a break so he would decide if we shall break up or not. It has been days, and i didnt eat or sleep, i look horrible and everyday i say, "i should leave him, i should make the move." yet i still check my email 100 times a day waiting for his answer. pathetic i know, but I love him so much and I cant leave him. He may leave me but I cant be the one to end it.

You treat that like you would take off a Band-Aid, all in one swoop!

I think reality is something you can never ignore, you are always going to spend hours figuring out what is best for you and the other person. In time your heart will always heal, but the truth is do you want to spend the rest of your life afterwards wondering how different would it be if you hadn´t left her? Of course not. Be realistic, don´t let your heart confuse you from fake and real. Take the leap and start thinking for yourself, cause I am sure you have already spent too much time thinking about the other, it´s your turn this time.

I never could, they had to leave me. I just couldn't give up even though I knew it was a lost cause.

honestly i might be the wrong person to ask because i am the worst at relationships.but really you need to just be truthful and get it over with now because prolonging it will just make it harder and trust me i know from experience.that just happened with my last relationship and it hurt and still does but i know it was for the best.

It depends on why they are wrong for you. If you are just different people then I think opposites attract and you can balance each other out...if he is wrong because he has hurt you or you do not trust him or you want different things in life (children?!) then I would say it is better to leave now than before you invest more time and energy and end up resenting him for not being what you need. Make sure you tell him what you want and what your issues are before you make your final move. He may love you enough to do a big change in order to be what you need. He may not...and if that is the case, better to know now and move on.

Something I learned was; If you don't got the strength to break up, you're not ready do to it. You're got an issue, I understands that. Maybe you should think about it, think about the reason. The reason for you're break up with this guy, what's so wrong with him..

this is a hard lesson learned. I held on, and on and on, and when he finally cheated and dumped me, it didnt hurt less than it would have if I had done it when I knew I should. It is hard for a woman to forget her heart, but it is sometimes necessary. If you know he is wrong, let go on your own terms.

Breaking up is never easy. Some people are afraid to say it and instead just turn you off. To me that is just wrong in so many ways. Email doesn't cut it either. You are going to have to sit down with the person. Following either your heart or your head makes little diffrerence. Sometimes you think yuou see the problem, but it is not the problem at all. Misunderstanding happen all the time. We think we see something, we think we heard something, someone says something about that person... just do it. Sit down and talk with them. You have no idea how much it hurts when you get dropped and don't have any say in it.

Not by taking the cowardly route and abandoning that person without any care for their well being. Not with selfishness, not from fear....there's strength in love, if you choose that path.

i think being realistic will be the best. if you're determined that your partner did you wrong that is... and this determination may just get rid of the pain...

How do you know they're wrong for you?

I WOULD HAVE 2 SAY BE REALISTIC, IT CANT HURT THAT MUCH IF U SAY IT THE RIGHT WAY

Always do what you think is best for you. No one can possibly know that better than you. The more you get hurt the less it hurts. Rather you or someone else causes the pain. Remember it's better to have loved and lost (for any reason) than to have never have loved at all.

In this case if they are totaly wrong for you, you must move on, if you don't the relationship will turn toxic one partner resent the other for not being able to give what they need. i know this is a hard one, but you will find by breaking it off you will eventualy feel better about it and your self. Just remember it wasn't a good situation for you.

I'm with the right person for me but sadly I feel I'm not the right one for him. I know I'm not. It breaks my heart every day. I know I should walk away to stop my heart from breaking more, but I love him to pieces and I can't leave.

It's very upsetting to come to the realisation that you and someone are wrong for each other and extremely difficult to deal with rationally but you must have the courage to do what is emotionally right for you. If you don't you are just repressing your real feelings and this will hurt even more in the long run. Be true to yourself!!!

Well I followed my heart..even though I did not know the outcome and I am glad that I did and that I took a risk instead of taking the safe comfortable route. For me following my heart was to leave the one who I cared for and loved but I knew was wrong for me. I think following your heart is realistic. To follow your heart would be to leave if you know they are not right for you. It hurt and I felt bad and guilty because I knew He loved me, but He just was not right for me and I am proud of myself that I did it for me!! After that I found my soul mate and I married him 2 months ago!!! Good luck!!!

How do you know your are wrong for them? I used to think I was wrong for my boyfriend and so I did break it off. It hurt so much. at first I thought It was the right thing but it completely tore us apart. a life without eachother didn't make any since. we are back together now obviously but what I'm trying to say is make sure there is a really good reason. don't just assume your all wrong for them. They might think your perfect for them and they are wrong for you.

Leave. Follow your heart if you know he is bad for you. I have the same issue. My relationship 4 years. the first two I had his kids back to back. (Not me)I have been working paying bills, and struggling with him in my house. I feel like he is a roommate. He sweats and smells like funk in the morning. I hate that. He does things and purpose and I hate that. My older children want him gone too. I try to stay so I can see if its gonna work. Good days and bad days in my home. I wake up angry because I know I want him out. Take care of yourself. I read this book called The Lady, Her lover and The Lord, by T.D.Jakes great book. It tells you that you need to be put on a peddle stool. He never has enough money to help me with bills. His bank account is always on negative, me I have fixed my credit, still working, therapy for my depression. Find yourself, once they see you finding you they will know that they are no longer needed. I cry, I get so mad but at myself because he is still here. I need advice to as well and need to listen to my own advice. Dont put a man before GOD, he is a jealous one. When you are in bed falling asleep God knows your pain and what is in your heart.While the man you are with doesnt understand. Do you!

I have been dating a sweet and adorable gal now for maybe two months or so and yes I know it is not long but for the passed few months or so I have been planning on moving several hours away to pursue a life I once enjoyed and want again. I just quit my job too so that I could prepare for the move. During all of this I let myself fall for her so hard like my only other heart and soul. I now sit at this cross roads of life. How wonderful would it be to still go do my thing and her and i still work out sometime down the road or a distant relationship - but trying to make it work with distance could only bring more pain and loss of focus, right? My heart tells me to compromise the move for another time and stay with her and love her with everything just because I feel that life stepped her into mine and I should give her my whole heart to say I tried and we could stay together, possibly marry, kids, (too early) but who. it feels so much better to think about that than to realistically believe that moving away is what I really need to do. David

It's only a matter of time before you realize that love is not enough and sometimes we have to make a difficult decision even if it meant to hurt someone we love.. There's still hope for you, if not for your relationship then for yourself. You still can be happy again.

Be realistic...the hurt is then short term. Following your heart when you know he is wrong for you will guarantee that the hurt will continue and persist...and accumulate. Do what is in your best interest - long term!

I've been here before. After clumsily stumbling through it, I think this is the answer: You can compare your relationship to an illness. You know you can't continue this way, but the only way to cure it is to have surgery. You're afraid that the surgery will hurt... and it will! But, what a waste to spend years with the illness to avoid the surgery. Come to terms with reality, and cut your losses. The pain is inevitable, so you might as well get it over with now and have the opportunity for happier days ahead. =)

I used to feel this way about my current relationship, and I also used to feel this way about my last relationship. The thing is, that my last one was TOXIC, and the current is the complete opposite. So what is the difference? The future. I always start planning out or thinking about the future, and filling it with things that I think SHOULD happen, and then making some kind of assessment based on what is happening now. But you CAN'T do that. Because I can't make that predicament. Me, him, and life is always changing. Embrace the present - that is the only thing you can be sure of. I know this isn't the answer, but, just be aware of if you are doing this or not.

: ) If you're partner is always getting on you're nerves or acting or doing certain things you really don't like talk about it make sure they are not willing to change and if hats the case. dump there ass.

it hurtz both wayz at the moment.. staying or leaving.. by staying u'll remine getting hurt n u'll feel from bad to worse evry single day that passes by when ur with him... but if u left it might hurt for a while but it'll get better by time n u'll give urself a chanse to find the person tht deserves you...

let's be realistic here. if something's bad for you, you shouldn't even miss it. Be thankful for making the decision and stick with it. Be true to yourself and think of what's best for YOU (not him/her)in the long run. When someone good comes by, you will think to yourself: i'm glad i got rid of that piece of s**t X centuries ago. life is too short to be wasted on something U KNOW isn't gonna work. been there, done that.

You be realistic. That's my opinion.

being realistic is the only way. I was in love with someone when I was 20. He was 10 years older than myself and told me he would never want to have kids. He liked his life as a commercial realtor and didn't have the same goals as I did. I knew we wanted different things out of life and it wouldn't work. I moved on.

At sometime in your life, you come to the realization that relationships are not just about you. (I saying "you" figuratively, not specifically.) At one point in your life, you were head over heels in love with this person. In committing to a relationship, you build emotional involvement and a personal history with that person. It's not fair to destroy your mate and the relationship because you don't have the maturity to do what it takes to make the relationship a success. It's incumbent upon you to do the very best you can to do everything you can to make sure that relationship lasts. If you can wholeheartedly say you've committed 100% to the relationship and gotten little or nothing in return, then by all means... ...follow "your heart's desire".

There are times that you must do what you don't want to do to protect your own health and safety ... Be realistic ... you will be better off in the long run ...

I just went through this today, and yes, it hurts, but I know this is the right thing to do. The guy I am in love with is a serial cheater and did so for the first year of our relationship. The second year he straightened up. The problem was he has bad credit, doesn't do anything to fix it, won't get a real job other than a referree job that doesn't pay anything, doesn't pay taxes or child support on his son, and told me he is not sure if we will make it to marriage or not. He said it takes him long time to figure that out. Umm, 2 years later!?!? I felt like I was his stepping stone, not the woman he loves. If we were to stay together, we would struggle for the rest of our lives like we have for the last two years because I can't take care of a man financially. I want more than that. I also found out that he will still lie to me over petty stuff and I just can't be with someone I don't trust. I know I will be okay as long as I don't call him, email, or go see him. I left him for two months before and he called and called. I'm not answering and getting suckered back in this time. I would rather be alone and struggle then be with someone who hurts me!

Well, in what way are they wrong for you?

im in the same exact situation. i deserve to be happy, too! So, i have to go. just havent had the courage to rip out my own heart, yet!

I'm also really worried about this. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. I have the same feelings of love for him, although I don't find my heart racing when I'm with him anymore, but I still think he is good for me, but I think I do him more good than he does me, giving him loads of support and motivation with his life, and making certain comprimises on my goals for him. I know comprimise and sacrifice is just part of being a couple, but I don't see him making as many. I'm hoping this will change because we have made plans to live together,and he now needs to get a job too, but obviously if he can't help support us, this is going to really make things tough. I am just worried because I don't know if this is just me getting less passionate, or 'restless' after some time as all couples do, or getting scared of the upcoming commitment of moving in with him despite being very young still,OR because I have recently become friends with another man who I keep thinking of as better than my current boyfriend, more intelligent to talk to, more caring. I know these feelings might just be a case of 'grass is greener' and I might regret any decisions to break up with my boyfriend. Then again, they could be legitimate fears about his suitability as a partner now it is getting 'serious', and he can't provide me with intellectual equality or material support. I think my fear of hurting him, of regretting a split, or of staying and regretting it - my fear of making the wrong decision either way- is clouding my thinking and making it difficult, I am making excuses upon excuses and getting my feelings all mixed up, and nobody can help me unravel it. Is there a magical way to test your decisions, to see which would be best?

If they are wrong for you, leave and it may hurt, but it may just lead you back to them in the future. Sometimes it takes losing something to know what you have lost and you have a chanse to get it back and then you treasure it so much more than if it had just stayed. My husband cheated so much and left me alone all the time. I finally left him and he did not care, but then I started dating just one guy and he went crazy over losing me. He thought I would never actually leave him and once he saw he would really lose me he changed and now our life is like it was back 26 years ago when we first got married. God brought it back.

You should be realistic. At the end of the day its not fair to the both of you going on and living a lie. Yes, it's going to hurt but it'll be better in the long run. Most people avoid breaking up out of fear of being alone, however it's really good that you've noticed now that you're not right for each other. In time you will meet someone else and it's much better to meet that other person when you are single as it means less people get hurt. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Just think of ripping off a band aid... quick, slightly painful but noway near as bad taking your time pulling it off. Good luck to the both of you :)

thanks for the advices above,they are very helpful. i realize a bad relationship is like a bad tooth,if you don't pull it out in time,it will just hurt you more. i think i've made my decision,but deep down it's still tearing me violently. i am bearing this small wish that one day he would know what relationship about and i became smarter and stronger then maybe we could get together for good.

what ever is the case,how deep is your love,it really dosn't matter much if you realize that the person is wrong or cheating you ,immidiately leave him.cheaters can just give you more pain if you'll bear more.be realistic, its not the end of the world.being cheated by some one knowingly is like cheating yourself.if you have the POWER of loving someone deeply & truly ,i assure u that you'll definately get true honest &the right person & love for u. thanx saniya

I don't know if I'd ever have the strength to leave someone I really loved. Why do you feel like this person is wrong for you?

hey man it is hurting now...but if u break up ur future might lighten up..before u break up..try to sort out any problems if u have...if things are not working out..then i say it is better u be practical...

NO...IN THIS CASE....YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BEING HAPPY....SO GOOD LUCK..

I am considering breaking up with my boyfriend of three years but it's just so hard! we have been through so so much. He is emotionally abusive and makes me feel like im a dog most the time, he calls me names and breaks my self repect. but I love him and somewhere i feel he loves me still. but i know I should go its just so so hard. I dont know what to do. Im scared of letting go of someone I love so much. What am I supposed to do I dont even know who I am without him?

When the time is right..it will happen. Don't push yourself though anything. You don't want to look back and worry about what might have been.

If you know they are wrong for you it is better to leave. It will hurt for a little while but it will mean you have the opportunity to find the right person. And that will make you much more happy then prolonging the inevitable and hurting them and you worse.

i know it hurt but thatz the best u can do if u want to be safe from much hurt. as u said he is wrong for u. my dear when u want to remove pain u have to add more pain. love is nice and wonderful but dont follow ur hrt to destuction u may need it for someone special give this up is no use. things happen for a reason let it go greater ones maybe coming ur way. gud luck

Be realistic? If you love them, isn't that realistic?

You have to love yourself more and do what is best for you.

I left someone around this time last year. I still love her very much, but it was becoming clear to me that we didn't have what it takes to last, and I needed to get on with my search for a lasting soul mate. Not sure she fully understands yet, and we are still friends. And who knows what the future will hold? Perhaps she is still right for me, but not Ms. Right right now.

I would not leave someone I love. The question is why do you feel she is wrong? Wrong for your family/friends? Is she hurting you in some way? Sorry I don't understand what the problem is. Is love not enough for you? well, Bottom line is you need to look out for #1 and if you are unhappy with her, then end it, but it really sounds like you love her. I would try and work it out with here whatever is bothering you. I see its been awhile since you posted this.So I hope you made the right decision.

I would follow my heart and if I felt it was better to leave them, for my happiness and hers. Then I would leave her. But if we were still making each other happy. Then I would stay. Even if it's not going to last. +5

Eventually you'll start to realize that this person is not for you and you will leave. Everybody has a breaking point or a time that they have to cut ties.

Be realistic, even if it temperarily hurts. It's the best thing to do in the long run.

knowing they are wrong for you it would be wise to leave them. It's good to remember that before you knew that person, you were happy, and in the future once you get over them, you will be happy again just as you were before you knew them. Remember that love is a very strong feeling but it fades away and can be replaced by, who knows, a better love in the future. Ask yourself: do I want to delay the break-up and waste more months or years from my life? Many people never find the power to move for years and it's really sad. Emmanuel Matityahu

You follow your heart. You may hurt them in the bieginning, but at the end if you do not leave them your the one who will be hurt.