ANSWERS: 19
  • From what I've heard, there is no way to get over the death of a child. The change of scenery is a popular method, but it really doesn't work because its not just seeing common sites that bring back the memory, but rather the memories you have that will always be there. Try to cherish the time you spent together, but it'll always be hard.
  • Im sorry for your loss. You wont get over it, not fully, but in time it will ease a little. You say you moved, did it include a new job, hobbies, friends? the more you fill your day the less time you have to think And dont forget... it takes time
  • That's the mistake people on the same boat make: they move but take themselves and their problems with them. The problem is not the place but you
  • Sorry to hear of your loss. You may never get over her death. That is ok. You will need to learn to cope with your loss and move on. Keep busy, to keep your mind on other things will help. I wish you the best.
  • Time. Don't fight the feelings of remorse, its natural. Go shopping and buy bright colored clothes. You are at one of the World's finest beaches and its summer. Get out and make a new friend today!
  • I so feel for you, Jenna, in the loss of your daughter. From what I understand of the grieving process, it can take years to go through all of the various stages of grieving. (People go through these stages whether or not they are aware that is happening.) On occasion it is possible to get 'stuck' in one of the stages of grieving, which can make everyday life more intolerable/difficult. I would encourage you to consider counseling for a time with a trained counselor who understands the grieving process: he or she can help you walk through this tragic time in your life. You may also consider joining a grieving group in your area. One specifically geared to parents coping with grieving would be most helpful, though any grieving gathering would likely help. Contact a local hospital or mental health clinic to obtain such information. Jenna, my best wishes are with you. (My prayers, too.)
  • Beautiful Explanation of Death, share with those you love and keep it going..........~ SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSSOF YOUR DAUGHTER HOPE THIS CAN BE OF SOME HELP DEATH~ A WAY TO EXPLAIN IT.. A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to Leave the examination room and said, 'Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.' Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.' 'You don't know? You, a Christian man, Do not know what is on the other side?' The doctor was holding the handle of the door; On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 'Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.. He knew nothing except that his master was here, And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, But I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.' (sorry - cannot break this) May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly Where you are meant to be. I believe that friends are quiet angels Who lift us to our feet when our wings Have trouble remembering how to fly..
  • I don't think we ever get over death, especially the death of a child. Eventually it scars over and we can go on. I think one of the most important is to still be needed. One of my aunt's dealt with the death of her only son by volunteering in her church's nursery for many years. She knew she would never have grandchildren and she wasn't above borrowing others. It filled a hole for a time. There are many other places you can volunteer to be with children and be needed. When you are needed, it gives your life a sense of purpose that helps you to go on. Its been a year and a half since my mother died, 14 since my grandmother died and I still can't talk about either without crying. I don't think those wounds will ever heal. But I have a husband and child and a church and a ministry within the church that need me, and that helps to keep me anchored here. Mom and Grandma keep one foot anchored in heaven and longing to go there. By the way, there are several ABers who have lost children. I've suggested to Rich that we start a category for mourning parents to give you all a place to talk privately. You might want to add your voice to mine. I think that other grieving parents are the only ones who can truly understand your loss. I'll link you to a couple of them.
  • Hello, Jenna. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know it feels like someone has reached in and ripped out the very core of your being leaving a big gaping, bleeding hole that seems it cannot be filled. My son died January 13 of this year. I still cry every day. It's not so much sobbing anymore but rather streaming tears.
  • I would strongly suggest you seek the help of a trained counselor, preferably one specializing in bereavement. My wife is such a counselor. It is quite reasonable to try and get over a bereavement on your own for a few months, but after years you will definitely be helped by skilled assistance. As to "getting over it" - your bereavement and grief will always be part of you. You cannot erase the loss of any loved one, but particularly not that of a child. But you can reposition that grief in your life so that it becomes only a part of you, and does not dominate your life. That is what a counselor is trained to help you do.
  • I don't have children, but I don't think that you ever get over it. I think that you just have to go on despite such a tragic thing happening in your life. You should live for her because if she were still alive she would be living. I don't know if anything I said made sense but I hope that you get the help that you need to learn to cope with her passing. You won't ever forget but you learn to live your life.
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. When you moved, you took YOURSELF with you. Your issues did not change because you changed locations; it only distracted you for a while. After four yrs, I think you don't "get over" it. But you get used to the emptiness and it becomes a part of you. You may wish to talk to a professional (advisor, counselor, minister...who ever you're comfortable with) regarding your quality of life.
  • Everyone grieves differently. There is no way/pattern that this follows nor no time period for it. Usually after about a year the bad hurt lessens and acceptance begins. You will never forget your daughter. I think of my son daily, but the acceptance of his death has set in because every living thing dies, even some before their time. Take refuge in God if you are religious and speak to your pastor about this. If necessary go to a grief counselor. I have done both and have largely accepted the situation knowing I can never go back and TRY to change it. I know I could have not changed it anyway. If you want to discuss this more, ask questions in the comment section. Those who have answered your question will try to help you.
  • I cant answer this from experiance...but, it sounds like you may need some counseling...and to surround yourself with friends wont hurt either...not sure if that is the answer you are looking for, but it doesnt sound like you are done grieving...and for good cause. sorry about your loss.
  • I would find a support group and make myself go to meetings regularly and often, maybe more than one group. I would try to remember my child would not want me to be unhappy, and that we all die sooner or later, it's just part of the package. Time will heal wounds If we don't pick at them. Make certain that you don't hurt any more than you absolutely have to. You won't ever really get over the loss, but you can get around it. There will always be an unhappiness in your life because of the loss, but don't be there except when you have to. Make a point not to think about unhappy things at night, in bed. Do it during the day, and only when you have to.
  • man, i am really sorry for your loss! i pray that you get over it ! it will be better man!hugs to you
  • Been there... Well really you don't... but time help's my friend. ~.~
  • Moving doesnt help when you are going through the the grief process. Thats why you may have heard people say don't make any big life changes at least for the first year after the death of an immediate family member. I can tell you that a grief support group and individual counseling does help immensely. Please give it a try. Deepest condolences.
  • maybe you should talk to a counselor about it

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