My husband gets angry and mad very easily.He will smack me,grab my wrists,put his hands over my mouth and say hurtful things.Is it bad to try to defend myself by smacking him back.He is a very strong man and very controlling.What do i do?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 22
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Don't do anything. Leave him. This is textbook abuse and you don't deserve it, so get rid of this awful man immediately. Nobody, but nobody has the right to abuse or beat another person, and you deserve much better. My mum was in an abusive relationship and had the sense to take herself and me to a safe place to we would be free of the abuse. I suggest you do the same thing, especially if you have children. There are refuges and societies who can help you, and obviously your family. Please don't let this continue. Be strong and get help before this man takes away more of your dignity.
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What do you do? Not stand for this violent abuse. Get out of the house and report him to the police.
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are you serious? anybody in a relationship you allege knows what to do!
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Report it immediately. I know it may be hard, but it's what's best for your safety. Don't let him make you feel guilty for leaving him. Leave him!! He won't change. It happened to my sister and they had three little girls. Get out before kids get into the picture. He doesn't deserve you. Go to the police and make sure to take pictures and document every bruise and cut he inflicts on you. Take him to court, and leave him before something terrible happens. Good luck, God Bless
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run while you are still alive!! :( change name and location. i'm so sorry.
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leave and never go back!!!!
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Leave him. . http://www.ncdsv.org/images/PowerControlwheelNOSHADING.pdf . http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/ . http://www.dvrc.org.au/
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you need to leave him. you dont hurt someting that you love. he should not put his hands on you never. leave him before it is too late.
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no, no, no, leave him right now. go get the heck out of there.
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As everyone is saying, you should get away from him. I just want to point out one thing though. You mentioned that he is a very strong man and he may be physically strong, but if he is abusing his wife he is not strong and he doesn't deserve to be called a man. He is a punk and when he tangles with the right person, he will find that out. Most so called "men" who beat on their wives or g/f's, would never face anyone their own size. Sorry for the long response, but my sister was in a relationship like yours so I guess it's a touchy subject with me. In my sister's case, lets just say her husband had to have a little attitude adjustment.
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Leave him now and never look back again!
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File an assault charge, get a restraining order, and hire a divorce lawyer.
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Pack your bags with valuables and leave to one of your friends house and go to the police they should be able to help, its their job. Your husband deserves to be locked up. Next time get married to to a slim weaker type man then you are unlikely to get into the same situation.
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As everyone else is advising you on this web site, please leave the home and do not return unless you have a Police Officer with you if you want to retrieve your belongings. You are enabling him to become more enraged and he will hurt you if you do not leave this situation right now.
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I agree with what other people are saying. that is clearly physical abuse. i wouldn't hesitate to leave and divorce him
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Report him to the police first, and get a gun and be prepared to use it. Most shootings miss even within 5 feet so you must keep cool and only use it if he continues to come toward you after you have made it clear you intend to defend yourself. Remember that if you pull it out you must be prepared to use it because if not he very possibly would then use it on you. As soon as possible get enrolled in a gun safety class, they are offered by the NRA among others.
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Leave him. Simple as that...
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You need an attorney and a divorce. It will only get worse as time goes by. I want to hear from you again on Answerbag and not from your grave. This is where you are heading. Keep us posted.
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NO ONE has any right to lay hands on you in such a manner .... PERIOD ! I cannot believe that you don't know what you should do ... or; else you just need or want confirmation from us here on A/B .... Anyway ... You need to get to the local Prosecutor's Office IMMEDIATELY and file Domestic Violence and Assault 'n Battery charges against this low life who continues to abuse you .... Get a Restraining Order / Order of Protection placed against him ASAP ! Find yourself a GOOD Divorce Attorney and get out of that marriage .... Good Luck to You !
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Play some grit ball... No but really... my mother was given a liousville slugger by her father before she got married.. and said a few simple words of advice.. "If he puts his hands on you just remember :he has to sleep sometime"
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LEAVE HIM
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Get out as fast as you can and DO NOT let him know where you have gone. He is antagonizing you so that in his feeble little mind, you have given him an excuse to escalate. Do not be fooled by apologies and "It'll never happen again (until next time) -- too many women have lost their lives by being complacent/forgiving/hopeful. If the relationship has deteriorated past redemption, get a restraining order and get a divorce. If there is something there to salvage (and I would be very very ruthless in assessing this factor), you both need counseling and he definitely needs anger management counseling. This must absolutely be done while you are still apart and you are very certain that you are not in any danger.
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