ANSWERS: 100
  • I think it's a matter of personal opinion. Some women want to keep their maiden name, some want to take their husband's name. I am sure there are good reasons for doing either one.
  • The idea that women should change their name is a tradition. I believe the only "should" here is that the women has a choice of what name she selects.
  • Heh, well if the guy doesn't like his last name, I wonder if he could change his to hers. Oh and let me help you with that rating for the schmuck that rated you down.
  • I think it should be like this, both of you keep your name, if you have kids, the wife gives the daughter her name, and if it's a boy, the kid gets his fathers name. Then you both can place your bets on what sex the baby is gonna be.
  • The woman should be able to do whatever she wants, the only reason I would take my boyfriends name is because his is a lot shorter than mine, and I am so sick of how long and difficult my current last name is for people to understand and pronounce.
  • It should be the woman's personal choice. Many women keep their maiden name to keep their identity, perhaps they are already well-known by their maiden name (eg. Angelina Jolie) or they just feel that they don't want to change their identity. Often the man or his family will want you to take his surname but really at the end of it all it should be up to you. A good compromise is a hyphenated surname (eg. Olivia Newton-John), which are these days quite universally accepted
  • i would say yes, i really hate to see when celebritys do not change there name because of fame
  • Personally speaking, I don't think so. My sister never took her husband's name, and I didn't take my husband's either. One does not need to carry a new surname to demonstrate love or devotion. It's really up to the woman though, but there should be open dialog on the topic if there is discomfort between she and her spouse.
  • I think that is totally up to them . Although I think a mans last name is the best gift a man can give to his wife. He has given you the most important thing in his family and made you apart of his identity.
  • They can if they wish to. But what they "Should" do is no one's business but their own. If they like their husband's name, and/or don't particularly like their own then they can take it, or they can hyphenate and have both if they want to. They could take their pet cat's name and it still wouldn't be anybody else's business to tell them what they should or should not do. It's all a matter of what they themselves want.
  • well yea its been happening for ages
  • If they want to- they used to do that way back- and many still do it now- its there choice- but if you have some freaky last name dont get mad if she doesnt choose your lastname...
  • It is simple, if they want to yes, if not, no.
  • Nope, there is no right or wrong choice on what to do with your last name when you get married either, the man could change his last name to hers, they could even come up with a new last name that they both take (i.e. Jane Jones and John Smith get married and become Mrs. & Mr. Baggins) I kept my last name, when I got married, and other than some fun issues with no one knowing the proper way to adress me, no one has had a real problem with it.
  • One word....Yes!
  • I kept my maiden name and added my married name on the end with a - in the middle. so I have 2 names as my last name, because that's who I am.
  • I think its a choice that should be made in a couple.. For me, its part of the idea of creating a family with him. We are a family, together. But thats me. I understand people disageeing. But for reference, I think it has nothing to do with anyones identity at all.
  • Why not? What is the fascination with keeping the maiden name. Your maiden name is probably your fathers surname, which means that your mother took his name. It makes things less complicated on paper. I don't have any thoughts of lost identity by taking on my husbands name. And furthermore, if we have children together, wouldn't this simplify things? If you are coming into a marriage with children from previous marriages, then it could get sticky. Otherwise, I just don't see what the BIG deal is. I am confident in who I am, and my name does not dictate or define "ME".
  • I think that's a personal decision, and up to the woman.
  • NO. What for. She already has a name she was born with. I didn't change my name. NOthing personal just liked my birth name and can't see the sense in changing it. I would like my daughters to keep their birth name too, their FATHER's surname!
  • I think it's up to the person. I was going to hyphenate my name, but very quickly got tired of that and just ended up with my husband's last name. No regrets.
  • Only if they don't like the one they already have.
  • not really it goes back to owning a woman, first she belonged to her father and was given his name then the father give her to her husband who then owens her and she takes his name, it more tradition now, i would like to keep mine as it's rare and my familly are the only people i know with it, i would love my children to cary it, even in doule barrel form
  • well to keep this answer short and to the point of the question, when i married my daughters father 11 years ago , He insisted on taking my name claiming to hate his sur name name because he hated his father and he was named after him. so yes men can take a womans name after getting married if he so choses to do so.
  • Yes... A woman should change her name.... Unless shes an actress of famous person... Or if she wants to piss off the feminazis...
  • To what purpose? It's not like they need a "new" identity when they get married any more than men do. Brides are the same people before and after a wedding ceremony same as Grooms. When two people get married they remain separate individuals who have chosen to form a union as a "couple." (Couple is defined as "two" of something.)
  • Should be up to her. My wife and I both changed our names when we got married to a made up name.
  • I didn't change my name the first time I got married, honestly because I thought I was too young to lose my identity (I was still a teenager). The second time I got married I was only ankle-deep into my career but had developed an incredible network that I depended on and was worried about confusing/losing if I changed my name. I considered it again when we decided to have children and I suddenly got all stressed out. My husband just looked at me and sang the lyrics of that INXS song "Don't change a thing - for me"... I think we would have more strongly considered it if the tradition was for both partners to pick a completely new name and then both change their names. For example, we might now be Hubby and Momma BeBoppaLula :)
  • my friend Susan changed her name to Harold. So the answer is no.
  • My husband and I mooshed our names together. No hypenation. We thought our moms and dads should get equal time in the geneology front. Didn't liek long names. So, first few letters of his name, first few letters of mine. Very common now out west and with gay couples.
  • Growing up, I hated my last name. Now that I'm old enough to appreciate it's heritage. It's mine! And I'm proud of it.
  • Personal decision, I didn't both for business and personal reasons.
  • Twenty-five years ago when I kept my maiden name, the IRS didn't have a way to update their database in this way (or something like that) and claimed that I had never paid my income taxes and ordered me to ante up $5K promptly. It took them six months to straighten this mess out. Women don't have those type of problems now. A possibility: keep your maiden name for professional use, but use your husband's name for family/friends.
  • Women should do what they want to do. It's their name.
  • I believe that the point of marridge is to join two people together for eternity, the best way to do this is by joining names (its more complicated than that but I diddna wanna write an essay!). When I get married next May I will take my misses's name and she will take mine. We will then have a double barrled surname.
  • It should be the woman's own personal choice. Looking at it practically, it is much easier to keep her name as it is. If she decides to take her husband's name, she will also have to change her name on her social security card, driver's license, all credit cards, and any loans she may have, just to name a few.
  • I think it depends on the person. If she really identifies with her surname (I'm a Smith, everyone in town knows the Smiths, I love knowing I'm a Smith, I'm gonna keep the name for sure!), either keep it or hyphenate. If not (I didn't, not that I don't love my family or am not proud of them or anything, I just never identified myself as "a Hodge," I'm just me), then take her husband's name. In this case making your maiden name your middle name is cool too; I didn't because I really like my middle name, lol! But yeah basically it totally depends on the woman and what she's comfortable with...there are so many options, it's next to impossible to go wrong :)
  • She should do whatever she wants, while taking into consideration the feelings and point of view of her husband.
  • Whatever she feels most comfortable with. But remember there kids get the Fathers name.
  • I think it depends on the individual ultimately. However I will add that I think this is something that should be discussed with her potential spouse beforehand so as for it not to become an issue once they are married. Ultimately the decision is up to the woman however I think her husband should at least have some input on her decision even if she doesn't go with his feelings on the issue it's good to at least get his point of view on her choice.
  • My wife keep hers and she took mine. For example: Jessica marie stone smith
  • Hyphenating can get really cumbersome, expecially if the names involved are already long. I've seen hyphenation used by people who attach great honor to their birth name and don't wish to subjugate it. Professional women often wish to keep the name they are known by, and either hyphenate or don't change their name at all. People who change their name often do so to indicate they are part of a new family or because it's a tradition they like. Way back when, I changed my last name at marriage because I liked the sound of it.
  • All of the above, whatever floats your boat. But to start a family legacy of your own I think she should take the mans last name.
  • Whatever she and her spouse want to do. Personally, I chose to honor my husband by taking his name. I feel proud that I have his name as my own - not as his property, but as his partner. So, however you do things, it's nice to share a name. You feel like you're on the same team. :o)
  • My maiden name was Burns. My married name is Daley. I think you can see why I did not go for the hyphenation...sounds like a sympton of an infection... If a woman has an established career and needs name recognition or has some reason to keep her maiden name, then she should be able to do so without scrutiny. Hyphenation made sense when large, wealthy families were connecting - neither side wanted its name or it's legacy "lost". For the sake of convenience, of making legal paperwork easier and for promoting the ideal of unity as a family, I am all for taking the husbands name. I understand that, historically, it was done to denote possession over a woman, but it also was done to ensure clean inheritance lines long before we had such a thing as DNA. Just as we still keep the custom of marriage, even though it no longer has the legal ramifications it once had, we can keep the custom of taking the mans last name without it having misogynistic or chauvanistic meaning.
  • I'm old fashioned so I say take his name
  • Only if they WANT to!
  • Today, men and women have in Germany the possibility to change their names when marrying. I find it good to have the choice. If they do it or not, is their own personal choice. I would not interfere.
  • Yes, to their husband's name. If a women does not want to do that, she should not marry. All the craziness with hyphenated names, having the man taking the woman's name, etc., is all part of the cloud of trying to blur marriage and break it down in society. Just my opinion.
  • I took my husband's name to respect him and I was tired of my last name! :) But seriuously, if you wish to hypenate your name or keep it completely, then he should love and respect you enough to value your descion.
  • Hell no, women need to keep their identity. I think by keeping your last name, it is honoring people like Lucy Stone, Susan B. Anthony, and Elisabeth CADY Stanton. I will keep my last name when I get married. I am who I am. If I was to be a different last name, when I would be born that name.
  • If it's good enough for my Mom it's good enough for you some would say.
  • Changing your name is the pain in the butt. I did it twice. Once when I got married, and again when I was divorced. Never again. If I get married again, I'll be keeping my name thanks very much.
  • I think it is totally up to the woman if she wants to change her name. Here a just a few examples of the problems with changing your name in a society where 50% of marriages end in divorce: 1) You establish a career and make contacts and your name is recognized and changing it could be detrimental to your career. 2) After a long marriage you want to keep your married name and your ex-husband wants you to go back to your married name. 3) When you change to your husband's last name amazingly his name magically starts to show up on many of your accounts (even if you started them before you were married!!). When you get divorced it can be difficult to remove him from the accounts without HIS permission!
  • I took my husbands name and added it to my own with a hyphen, my husband also did the same. I love my surname and didn't want to loose it.
  • Only if they want to without any external pressure. For reasons of clarity I told my wife, "Keep your surname if you want to". She did for awhile and then she hyphenated. Now she has my last name on one or some of her records. I'm sure that she's still using her maiden name for social security and for her driver's license. I used to work with a guy named Alan Flynn. If he married Sharon Stone and hyphenated her last name to his then he'd be Alan Flynn-Stone, yabba dabba doo! ;)
  • There is no "should" it's a personal choice.
  • I think it should be up to the woman to decide, but I favor those that follow tradition.
  • I would prefer that they didn't--but, of course, it should be up to the individual woman...I am tired of losing track of old friends because they have married and changed their names.
  • If she doesn't and you have kids, it can be VERY confusing for various people, especially those who need to protect your kids from strangers picking them up (say... Schools). I have a cousin who married a lady lawyer. She'd established her career with her maiden name. Her kids all have her husband's name. I'm into genealogy. That family has three different surnames (she was married and had kids before she married my cousin). Trust me... Genealogically, it can be VERY confusing, too!
  • Women are powerful beings than men. Women can either build up or ruin a family or a society. The future of a family, and of the offspring depends on women. A house with out a housewife, is a temple without a goddess. Some of the traditions have elevated the status of women in India. one among them is as follows.... 'A married woman changing her family name' is a very good tradition. It is neither built on patriarchy nor on matriarchy. This tradition creates a strong sense of oneness and unity among the family members. They can say that "we are all members of a family with the same family name". It helps the husband's parents to treat their daughter-in-law as their own daughter. If a woman changes her family name, it indicates she is married and that she has set up a new family. This tradition also reveals the amount of respect that a wife has on her husband. It reveals the adaptability, purity, sacrificing nature and submissiveness of a woman. It is best that every family should have a unique family name in the society. A true wife not only adapts herself to the life style of her husband, but also takes his family name. There is no meaning for family system with out this tradition. If a girl is not willing to accept her husband's name, it indicates that (i) she is opting individual freedom and fashionable life style (ii) she is devoid of traditions and customs (iii) she has no true love or respect on her husband. (iv) she is likely to divorce her husband, even for a small rebuke. Fashionable life style and individualism should not exceed beyond the limits of the traditions and customs of one's own nation. If it happens, the family system ruins and hence the nation.
  • No.....I am hyphenating mine when I get marries
  • I think it's an old-fashioned tradition. I liked my maiden name better but I llove my hubby more so I was proud to take his name. His last wife was such a BITCH that she actually kept her LAST hubby's name. She said it was because her 3 kids had that same name & she didn't want to make them feel left out. Sounds like she was still in love w/ him.
  • yeah if the surname of their husband is better;p
  • I think it is a personal choice. I never changed mine and my husband is fine with that.
  • No. It should be a woman's choice if she wishes to use her husband's surname.
  • My lastname is the same as my husband and my kids. But its a personal choice and justa name afterall, so its up to you.
  • She shouldn't be forced to. Just like the man should buy her an engagement ring but shouldn't feel forced to.
  • I am an Indian and I just read the last response about Indian traditions. I kept my name, because after all, it is MY name and I will do anything for my husband because i love him and I certainly respect him. I will definitely not divorce him for small stuff. I know this because we have gone thru a lot together and I strongly belive in our love. Thankfully, I have a strong and loving husband who loves me for who I am. He has seen me sacrificing a lot for his sake and he does the same for me. I think this name change is an archaic system and a way of making everything easy for the "man". Being born a male should not be the only reason for this! It was just an accident that you were born a male and it is completely unfair to suggest that just the woman should change her name. Why isnt the man expected to do anything to change his identity, name, customs, whatever?? I also don't believe in the traditional approach of just the woman having to adapt to her husband's family. The man ALSO needs to adapt to his wife's family. Just because something was done for years does not make it right or fair. In the last post the author says: "It is neither built on patriarchy nor on matriarchy." On the other hand, the author contradicts himself by saying "It reveals the adaptability, purity, sacrificing nature and 'submissiveness' of a woman." Why is it always the woman's role to show her respect by always adjusting herself, her name, her actions, thoughts, etc. ?? Where is the man's respect? Everything goes both ways. In fact, in the Indian Hindu tradition, God says that the human body is like a shirt aand the soul goes through different bodies like different "shirts" during several lifetimes. If that is the case, why do these customs based on someone's gender matter? We must respect a person's soul and not differentiate just based on their gender. Even traditions can contradict themselves. I feel sad when I hear such unfair and illogical arguments in the name of "tradition" or whatever. When a woman gets married, she doesn't disappear! Same for the man. These are 2 individuals first who made the decision to form a union. I dont know what is wrong with individual freedom and fashionable lifestyle. After all, we are all indivviduals first and foremost. When we truly love someone, we will NOT divorce them just because we dont follow archaic traditions like changing our name! This sounds absurd to me. I do value traditions & customs and respect everybody's right to have their own. "Live and let live" is a good motto. But not every custom and tradition is right, just because it has been done for years. This link is a good one to read: http://www.nicemice.net/amc/soapbox/surnames.var
  • If she wants a traditional wedding, with the diamond ring, white gown, etc. she should. That's part of the tradition. If they're going to get married on the beach with flip-flops or in Vegas, she can do whatever she wants.
  • Don't think there is any right answer. It's a decision between husband and wife.
  • I know ill get dinged for this; but i am a traditionalist. I believe that a woman should change her name, otherwise what is there to signify your really married?
  • That is up to the couple. Some women want that, some women want to hyphenate. Some wish to keep their old name. This issue would have to be discussed by the couple, as there is no wrong answer. My personal view is that I like a married woman to take her husband's name.
  • That's up to the woman. I'll be changing mine when I get married because that's what I was raised to believe and my boyfriend wants me to have his last name when we do move our relationship forward.
  • only if they want to
  • If they don't want to, they don't have to, but it IS tradition, and there's no real good reason to go against it.
  • No, the couple should not have the same name, they should not wear rings, they should not live in the same house, or even get married. They should remain as separate and independent as possible.
  • Only if they're committed to the marriage. Otherwise, no.
  • It is all up to the women to decide. In my opinion they don't need to. +4
  • They actually dont have to if they dont want to... I think in the case of me ever marrying I'd take on my husbands name but also keep my own. That way I have the best of both worlds.
  • It is helpful but optional.
  • It's emasculating if they don't.
  • Yes, it shows her commitment.
  • Years ago, when I was married, that's what woman did. Now, I hate my married name, HATE it. I liked my maiden name and wish I had it back. So, no, if a woman like her own name, she should keep it, why not. The man doesn't own her. He might want to take her last name!! hahahah
  • No, marriage itself is an outdated tradition. No marriage or changed names. Any kids should get their own names, as they are not the property of their mother or father.
  • Yes; the move declares the two to be, "No more two, but one flesh". It is also applicable that Jesus was called "the bridegroom", the Church is "the Bride". Hence followers [in the Church of Christ] are called "Christians".
  • In my personal opinion, yes they should
  • The name-change thing is actually another thing just for males to show that they have (or think they have) dominance over women... See, even before last names existed... In ancient China and maybe before that, the family had to go by the first name of the husband... (Using Jackie Chan as an example; his family would be the "Jackie" family) Names came later from occupation or other things... "Black" and "Smith" from "Blacksmith" and "Miller" from "Mill Worker" are just examples... Anyway; since the dawn of time, men have thought they were better and that women should submit to them... The last name change is to show ownership (or used to be... It depends on opinion now)... Nothing has changed and probably won't... Hope this helps... :D
  • The question is why should anyone change his/her last name? In many countries both men and women keep their last names after marriage.
  • I really don't care... I would be just as happy changing my last name if it was with someone I loved (although I am sure my parents and grandparents would be upset with that)
  • I'd say 'No!' That's some ridiculous church-based crap. But a problem arises when you have to pick a last name for the child. I'd say if it's a boy, take the father's and the mother's for a girl, or vice versa.
  • mabye men should change their names
  • I think husband and wife should share last names and unless there is some logical reason to break the tredition of her being the one to change (his name is something like wipplefish, or she has huge career name recognition and he doesn't) then yes. however if there is a good reason for her not to other than just pride then let him change. if neither party wants to change their name just because... then they should not get married, marriage is 2 lives becomming one, if that is not your goal then find some other civil union or just cohabitate.
  • Most definitely. The two become one, so they should have the same name, just as symbolically as they are as one flesh, as the Bible so pointedly puts it.
  • The future Mrs. Trevor will. Other people can do whatever they want.
  • Only if she wishes to.
  • Only if they plan to be a family.
  • Are we talking about first name or last name. Traditionally, and I am an old fart traditionalist, the woman changes her last name. I have seen some grooms that were such losers that the woman needed to change her first name and seek out the witness relocation program. But seriously, I think it is right and proper for the bride to take on the last name of her husband.
  • If they want to. It is a tradition. I am because I would want to have the same last name as my children.

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