ANSWERS: 88
  • Sounds to me like he is very controlling and manipulating Pink. You deserve at the age of 14 to do as you please and talk to whomever you choose. Your parents are the only ones who have the first and final say in anything you do. If your b/f is like this now, imagine how bad he will be in a year?
  • Leave him. It will just lead to abuse in a matter of time. Been there, done that. Please, just leave. The controling starts first then the next is verbal abuse if it hasn't begun already. then the physical. JUST LEAVE!
  • Yes get out while you still can
  • Don't let him control you. Like the last 2 people said it can only get worse. You don't deserve that, it is not considered a healthy relationship. I would suggest that if he dosen't back off that you drop him quick.
  • He has no right to try to control you. Dump him. You will find someone who will treat you better, and respect your choices and decisions!
  • He is a dangerous guy and a potential abuser. Hopefully, he can change, but you cannot change him. Please do not let him run your life. It will not help him and it will definitely injure you. You are too special.
  • GET RID OF HIM!! Slowly but surely he will become your worst nightmare and you won't be able to get away...Run now will your still young...theres plenty of guys out there who love you for YOU and won't want to change you for nothing!!! :)
  • get out now while you can. he is trying to control you, and if you stay you are only opening yourself to the potential danger of being mentaly abused by the guy.or physical
  • I'm going to say this the nicest way I can. Leave him, you deserve so much better, plus you're still young. If you want a boyfriend I'm almost positive you can find another one. This one isn't worth your time.
  • Leave him NOW!! He is very controlling, what will make him not say, you can't speak to this family member, if one of them pisses him off, please, he sounds like bad news! Abusive people do this first, so they can weed out the ones who would be there to help you leave them, if you decide, and make you feel alone, so you stay. Good luck my friend!!
  • screw him, girlfriend! lol (not literally) haha but tell him that u dont like it and if he persits, end it. that'll send the message across.
  • babe you are way way way to young to already be dealing with the pressures of adulthood. get rid of him and enjoy the years you will miss if you done he is way too controlling. i bet he is alot older than you are
  • LEAVE, you are to young to start in the vicious cycle of having controling boyfriends. SO PLEASE LEAVE!!
  • You are in a bad relationship, and you need to leave it now, before it's too late, relationships like that will get worse as time goes on, don't let it.
  • i sugest kick his ass out, because if hes already like this, its only goin to get worse
  • GET OUT NOW!!! My sister stuck with a guy like that and ruined her future. She is now lost in the world and can't trust anybody. Save yourself NOW, Be brave, walk up to him break up with him and NEVER look back, you still have a chance. It may sound impossible, but when you do, you'll realize very soon itwas the best decision you could have made. Replace him with sompething productiveand don't not trustpeople, there ARE good guys out there, let them find you. In themeantime fill your time with family and school,maybe evena Summer Job and as my sister says, lots and lots of shopping and softball.
  • He's a control freak and you should dump him.
  • That sound like a pretty serious relationship for a 14 year-old. It makes me sad to think that it's your first experience of having a boyfriend. Relationships at your age should be fun. I hope that you will read through all of the posts here and realize that this is a good example of a bad relationship. There are plenty of boys out there who will be thrilled to hold your hand, buy you a soda, talk to you on the phone and respect you for your choices in friends..
  • in most relationships you are free to do anything you want to do! but this is not a healthy relationship if your boyfriend tells you who you cant hang out with and who you can. this wont be good and this can start to form an abusive relationship. if you can try and get out of it. it can only get worse!!
  • im 15 and as much as you ma love him you should cut your loses because he tryying to control you and its not nice trust me he could soon turn violent if you defy him
  • i would address the situation with him and if he doesn't change, leave him.
  • Your onnly 14 and there are lots of guys out there this one is to controlling I live with a very controlling fiance and let me tell you this its not a walk in the park. But if he really cares then let me suggest this try talking to him let him know that he cant treat you like this or youll have to leave. it helped me maybe it can help you to. good luck
  • Hello Pink, why are you asking this question? I think you're probably asking because you know that something is not right about this. You don't need all of us to tell you what to do because I believe you are wise enough to see this is wrong behaviour from your boyfriend. I'd feel sad for him, he has some issues about security. You're too young to take on the responsibility of fixing that. You should be be having fun. Go and have some fun :0)
  • i started a relationship at 13 that started out like that.... he's trying to find out how much he can control you, and then it just gets worse... for me it took him almost killing me so many times that i cant count over the following five years. you should never let someone control what makes you happy, they eventually take over your life. hes testing you, i bet hes very demanding when he talks to you about who you can hang out with, you should get away from him. trust me, i know thats how it starts...thats the very first thing they control, next it will b what your ALLOWED to wear. im 21 now and i ended that relationship at 18. dont let yourself go through years of pain when one day your going to end it anyway when it gets so bad, then youll think of all the things you could have done with that time...like i still do today. i missed out on a lot
  • My dad's girl friends' exhusband (what a mouth full!) was just like that, telling her what she could and couldn't do, and they were divorced a few months ago. couple months donw the track, he is ringing her up in the midle of the night and treatning her and the rest of us. I say get rid of him ASAP!!!
  • Get out of that relationship now. He does not sound like a very good person to be with. Focus more on your education, and maybe you and him can just be friends. There more guys out there that will respect you.
  • i suggest u let him know that he can trust u and that u should be able to choose your own freinds, that's just messed up
  • you get what you put up with. so, you have two choices: stay and deal with all his BS and future BS to come, or leave. being alone might seem scary, but given the two options, i'd say it's a no brainer.
  • Sister You have a whole life to find gentle, beautiful men to date...your boyfriend is being an insecure brat...if he trusted you he would give you space to be friends with anyone and everyone (male or female)...give him a 'kick-to-the-curb' and spend your time having fun and hanging out with people who treat you with love and respect...son't waste your precious life being manipulated and controlled.
  • Drop him like a HOT LOG! It will only get worse.
  • Kick the jerk to the curb.
  • well u do wut u want. but this is wuz u get for gettin a bf at 13! wtf ur so young! a girl ur age shudnt be worryin about bf's and relationships and stuff. u shud be out with friends, at sleepovers, at movies, playing hopscotch and wutnot. but to answer ur question, i'd just end it. say to him "u aint my father! u cant tell me wut to do!" and there. if he dont smack u hes lucky.
  • ok well first how old he and he does not have the right to boss you around and tell you who you can be friends with and who you cant!I wouldnt listen to him and might want to get out of the relationship if he is bossy you dont know what he might do if you dont listen to him so do what you think is right!
  • If he's making your life worse then i suggest dumping him!
  • it is absolutley ridiculous to let a boyfriend choose who you talk to! he does not own you and should NOT have that kind of control over you! don't let yourelf get pushed around. i know it might be hard for you to take this since you have been going out with him for quite a while but this type of thing will only get worse..he even proved that himself by moving to your girlfriends! dump immediately i say and tell him you don't appreciate being controlledxxx
  • he is jealous. he wants u all 2 himself. thats ok but u need 2 tell this is ur life 2. not his he is just apart of it. talk 2 him. if he cant take it then maybe u shouldnt b with him.
  • well honestly i think its time to let him go. sounds like he's trying to live his life through you which isnt cool at all. you dont want to be with any one whose gonna tell and choose things for you. you want someone whose gonna love you for you and let you make your own decisions and learn from them.
  • grow up-your too young to even worry about that crap!!!
  • tell him to screw off! it's your life it's your friends and he has no right to tell you anything different! Take control and if he doesn't like it then he has no idea what he's missing!
  • GET OUT!!!! it starts out that way and only get worse honey. You're only 13 and right now in your life you really don't need a boyfriend especialy someone controling like that what next he'll tell you how to dress and how to do your hair. girl you're too young for that crap focus on school or something leave that loser in the dust
  • Tell him that he has serious insercurities that have destroyed the relationship. Tell him that due to his unhealthy controlling nature he is in danger of becoming an abusive partner and you will not permit yourself to fall into that trap. The relationship is over. Tell him he needs to get help, but without you, because you are gone. Clarify to him that under no circumstances is he allowed to contact you. If he doesn't let you go, seek support from your friends and family.
  • Pink, I've been there and done that. It ended with me getting beat up and my unborn child killed. YOU DROP that SOB, right now, and don't look back. There are honest decent men to be had. As a matter of fact, I don't believe at 14 you need to be dating. You need to get involved in school, and activities at school, as well as involved in a youth group at a local church in your area. No human has the right to control another. Please run from him, and rum fast!!!!!!!!!
  • tell him to grow up :) :)
  • First, tell your parents. It may be necessary to enlist their aid. Second, leave him, as others have said. Third, pass the word around to your friends that he is that way. It is the first sign of someone that will be abusive. True, they may not be, but it is not worth the risk. I had a niece that went through this. He ended up stalking her for a time, until her parents took her and got a PPO against him. This was over 5 years ago, and he STILL will drive by the house, just looking. Go here: http://www.ci.knoxville.tn.us/kpd/dvu_signs.asp and read. You will be surpised and shocked. Then run. And tell at least one trusted adult.
  • You need to tell your parents what he's doing and dump him. He's an abuser and needs to be stopped. And let me guess he's about two years older then you and popular. He also probelly drinks and does drugs. What a winner. I f you don't this is what you're in for. First he wil try to control everything you do, say, or wear plus separate you from any support sytem you have. Next will be physical abuse. He will beat you senseless for any reason he deems nessary. And next will be sexual. He will rape you repeatedly. And through all of this will be him telling you it's your fault for being such an awful person. And in the end you will belive him.Or you'll get the honey moon phase where he brings you flowers and tells you it will never happen again. SMACK! as he lays the next round upside you're head. And he will continue to do all of this till you're dead. The last thing you need to do after after you dump him is not date at all. You're too young to even be dating let alone dealing with this. This is the time you need to be concentratiing on becoming who you want to be by studing hard and trying new things (not sex) and meeting new people. Good luck and keep us posted because now we're all worried.
  • Sounds like he is too controlling and muniplitive. Not a good thing in a relationship. You are young and you should not get stuck with someone like this. You should pick your own friends. Break it off fast before he really hurts you.
  • First, talk to your parents or a trusted adult. Second, you are too young for a committed relationship. No one other than your parents/family has the right to tell you who you can/can't be friends with. Break up with this controlling young man.
  • He seems to me to be controlling. I think you should get out of that relationship.
  • boot him out the door. you and only you have the right to make the decision about what is best for you and who you can have as friends.
  • That sounds like a control issue as well as a trust issue. If it were me I would say take a hike. When a guy tells you who you can and cannot hang out with it tells me he has trust issues. Things like that don't usually get better. Ask him how he would feel if you told him who he was allowed to hang out with? Talk to him about it, but if he keeps it up, show him the door.
  • DO the same to him to see if it changes him, if not, get rid of him.
  • DUMP HIM!!! hes worried that you would forget about him if you started to hang with more/other people. He is not worth your time.
  • This is not a boyfriend. This is a dictator. He has no right to tell who you can and cant talk to. He is jealous and he either needs to be told he can't do that to you or you need to leave this loser and find someone that trusts you and is so happy with you he wants to share you with the world, not hide you like one of his prized possessions. These jealous relationships usually don't end well. Don't let him bully you, which is what he is doing. You are too young to have to deal with this crap. You need to be able to explore friendships.
  • Dump him, you are only 14. You don't need that sort of pressure. No one needs that sort of pressures. If he is like this now, what happens if it gets worse as time goes by. Just think about it.
  • I say DUMP HIM because a boyfriend should not tell his girlfriend what to do like she's his child and not somone he is supposed to have feelings for.FInd a guy who will treat you right.
  • dump him and go back to being a teenager.
  • Have you ever heard the term "bullshit" ?
  • Get rid of him. He's not worth another thought. I may seem like the end of the world right now but trust me you will thank me (and everyone else) in the end.
  • say bye - bye. If he's like this now - why would you want to spend the future with him like that? You aren't going to change him!
  • Dump him fast and count your blessings that you got out now. He's a control freak and it will just keep getting worse. You are too young to have to deal with that and you deserve better no matter what your age.
  • Been there, done that. Get rid of him while you can. Let alone youre far to young to be in something like that.
  • I would leave him,for you don't need that sort of influence.You are young and will meet many guys that will be supportive of you and not smother you.
  • You're not even 14 and he's doing this? Teach him a lesson and ditch, he isn't worth you're time.
  • seriously? you are soooo young you do not need to be dealing with a guy like that at your age! tell him its not cool that he is trying to dictate who you can and can't talk to...and if he's not ok then its time to say "goooodbye!" because you do not need that unnecessary issue to deal with at your age. teen-dating should be fun....and smart...don't go for the crazy people
  • leave his sorry (censored word). lol, u probably could go and get better, if not, u still better without him.
  • This is the beginning to manipulation and taking advantage of you, which will eventually lead to an abusive relationship. you cannot let him control you like this, or else he will start to think that he can do whatever he want. He'll start to pull you away from everything that you hold dear, and then he'll make you think that he's all you got, and you'll have to keep him and youll lose your self respect.
  • this is the beginning--psychological abuse. Abusive behaviour tends to get worse over time...DUMP HIM now.
  • As Ricki Lake would say KICK HIM TO THE KERB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • My advice is this: stop dating. OK, maybe not completely. But I am a firm believer in very, very limited emotional and physical relationships between boys/girls until they are ready for a fully committed relationship. When is fully ready? I'd say at least upwards of 16 yrs. of age. I'm sorry, but having just left high school and started college this year I look back and realize that I didn't know squat about having a real loving relationship until recently. It was all about the physical back then, and it never ended well.
  • He must really dig you, however you need to sit and discuss this with him.
  • Nothing to add here but POINTS all around! Hope she took all of the great advice! This is just sad and scary!
  • Wow, this guy has major control issues. Leave him ASAP. He's starting at a young age too, which is sad. I've been in abusive relationships where I was controlled, when I was 22, and yes thats a form of abuse. Really, drop him and move on.
  • stand up to him. if his is bossing u about, tell him to back off. if he still does it, breakup with him
  • you should dumb him or tell him who he should hang out withand soon he should back off if not dumb him
  • Dump him and wallow in the meaning of the word "freedom." And rethink why you picked him in the first place . . . it's more about you than it is about him.
  • DUMP HIM NOWWW! IT GETS WORSE...hes a controlling person,and that relationship sometimes ends up in horror stories...you deserve better then that, listin to your parents and what your heart tells you.
  • he obviously doesnt trust you and a relationship is built around trust(ask any succesfully married couple) and if he doesnt trust that you can have guy/girlfriends and still be faithfull then you should ditch him
  • never ever let a boyfriend/girlfriend dictate what you Have to do. In your case it is a very bad sign of how controlling he will be the longer you stay his girlfriend
  • First off you are 14, this is NOT the guy you will spend the rest of your life with. I would tell him he is too controlling and it is time to move on. YOU need to find other interest to keep you busy where you can have fun with your friends and not worry about a boy. Trust me, you will have time enough for that later. ;)
  • Run don't walk and let people close to you know what's going on, this kid isn't playing with a full deck he could become a stalker or worse harm you. Don't take chances.
  • I am a guy who is also controlling... I'm only been with my girlfriend for 9 months, I'm 18 shes 16, but after reading these post, i found out that what i was doing was wrong it started just controlling then mental and somewhat verbal but not to bad and What bob bib said reminded me that i could lose the one who i in fact feel in love with and brought a tear to my eye...I'm going to change not just for her but for me and if it happens to be...the other girl i decide to marry...
  • i dont think it is right for him to choose who you can and cant talk to that is so not right but realy i think you should just talk to him about it k i think you both can work it out and i am 14 so i think i undrstandn u!
  • You should have a talk with him and let him know that that's bullshit! You aren't his dog to be controlled on a leach. Sit him down let him know you can talk to whoever you want and if he doesn't like it send him packing, you deserve more respect than that.
  • i would dump him, you dont need a controlling boyfriend around
  • i could never date someone that controlled me like that
  • i would dump someone like that, hes too controlling

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