ANSWERS: 1
  • You have to let the relationship take its natural course. One Step At A Time. I realize you want to make up for lost time. She isn't ready to "jump back in the sack". You're too impatient. When she's ready, I'm sure she'll let you know. From your Q, I can sense you're "pushing the envelope". "Awww c'mon, baby. Ya know I love ya. Let's have some fun." That garbage just doesn't work. I'm going to share something with you, I shared with other folks. You can take it or leave it. If you leave it - I can almost guarantee: it will be your loss. For the sake of the younger folks who might read this, I won't get very graphic. You can use your imagination. You never make love TO that person. You make love WITH that person. I AM A VERY fortunate man. I had the wonderful experience of seeing my parents, both sets of grandparents and all my aunts and uncles behave as though they were constantly on their honeymoons with their spouses. They would hold hands, cuddle, hug, kiss, whisper things to each other, say, "I love you, _____!" and carry-on like many young people, who are in love, do in public. They would smile at each other and tell each other How beautiful, wonderful and thoughtful she was! AND How thoughtful, wonderful and handsome he was! WOW! What a great set of romance and romantic role models! No, I never watched as they were making love in the most intimate way, but I DID see and learn from their examples and inter-actions with their spouses! As far as I know, no one ever cheated on the other. That being said, one day my mother's father asked me to take him to the track. He "LOVED those ponies"! He was well-aware of the relationship I had with the lady I was dating and who would one day be my bride. He said words similar to these: I know your father told you what to do, but did he ever tell you how to do it? I answered, "No". He went on to say, "I'm going to tell you some things I don't think you'll learn from any one else. When you have sex, make love or whatever you want to call it, you don't behave like most other men. Most men are just interested in one thing and one thing only - satisfying their own selfish selves. That's NOT the way to do it. You have to make absolutely certain she is satisfied. No matter how long it takes or what you have to do, you have to do whatever it takes to make sure she does what she likes to do best. You HAVE TO satisfy her first. Your brain is the most important sex organ. Your brain controls what happens downstairs. When you aren't sure about what to do or how to do it, ask her what she wants you to do. She'll tell you or she'll show you. When you're making love, you think of other things - not what's going on at that particular moment with that particular lady. When you think about what you're actually doing, I guarantee you'll never satisfy the lady in your life. He went on to explain about holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing and taking things one step at a time. He described a lot of things I heard of but wasn't sure about. During that ride, one of the last things he said was: When you are absolutely sure she is satisfied, then you can do what you know is best for you - but not one minute before. Thank you, Gran'pop. I love you, Gran'pop. I miss you, Gran'pop! Rest in Peace, Gran'pop! Some afterthoughts: You could also buy a book, on-line, called "Kama Sutra." You could also go on-line and make the investment in some "adult sex toys" or movies to stimulate and arouse. There are LOTS of sites. The following true story might give you a few ideas: TRUE STORY - as told to me by my friend, Joe B.: Joe: work, work, work, work AND work some more! He was ALWAYS tired. NO time to spend with his girlfriend, who later became his bride. One evening he came home from work. Flowers were on the table. Candles lit. His favorite music was playing. His favorite dinner ready just for him: pizza from his favorite pizza shop. Flowers and petals going up the stairs - a sort-of "path" leading to K.D., his beloved. He walked in the door and noticed ALL those nice things (except the pizza, which was in the fridge). "Honey, I'm home." K.D. 'sang', "I'm up hereeerrrrrrree." He "didn't stand an ice cube's chance in Hades"! He walked-up the steps and she "ambushed" him. He didn't go right to sleep that night or for quite a few nights after that. Following their romantic interlude, within the next few days, they talked about those things which were bothering them about their relationship. Having a very frank discussion and "pulling no punches", they "opened the door" to, with and for each other. When an impasse was reached, they got a few trusted friends (I was one) and their minister involved. Eventually, their differences were straightened-out. Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: My wonderful family! My friends, J. B. & K. D. Was in the Food and Beverage business over 26 years. "THE University of Hard Knocks" also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons".

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