Yes.

I'd say it's boredom... ask him what's missing from your relationship (besides truthfulness), and see if you two can do something about it. re: comments Auntie Em -- I actually didn't mean that at all... I doubt spice will fix this -- though it wouldn't surprise me if spice is missing. But I was thinking in terms of intimacy... they need to do stuff together again -- whatever that is -- they won't know unless one of them starts the conversation. It's not about who's cheating who -- it's about restoring open honest communications about why they got together in the first place, if they want to stay together, and what they need to do to restore openness and honesty in their communication. I would argue that she's the one to start that conversation, because she's the one that's upset with the way things have become. Judging someone as a cheat fixes nothing -- it only creates greater alienation. If she wants more alienation from her husband -- she should call him a cheat -- if she wants less alienation, she should try to figure out a way to engage him in recovering their relationship. related q/a: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view.php/35084 re: burden should be split... Of course the burden should be split... Auntie Em, your tone sounds like hubby has been a bad boy so he needs to start talking fast. Actually, he doesn't *need* to do anything except be true to himself. A self righteous "it's your fault" attitude is not going to fix this relationship -- who knows why it degraded to this -- but they're *both* responsible... they've both let it get to this... the phone sex is a symptom not a cause, and trivial, compared to the real problem.

He needs physcological help. next, he will be stalking someone, with his same actions in person and not on the web or text.

A lot of men may not think so. Technically speaking. But, if he hid it from you obviously he feels its not right. I think its disturbing. Next, one of these women will start to think they have something going on with him and will try to get him to leave you. Could be a potentially big mess!

Did your husband do this? Wow, he is pretty kinky if he did.

I have used this answer on many of these "gray area" question although this is MUCH less gray than others, but I will answer the same...assuming heterosexuality, anything he would feel awkward doing with someone of the same sex is cheating if it is with the opposite sex...doubt he would go out sending the same pics to his guy buddies and calling it nothing

Is this a joke! Of course that is cheating. Kick him out.

hell yeah

Yes it is , cheap and tacky and humiliating to you

Yes

Yes this is still violating your marriage vows. Also its degrading for you and he has no respect for you or himself,if he wants to do this he should be man enough to tell you its over!

Yes it is, unless you know and approve. And, judging by the question, you don't! Tell him he needs to stop and if he doesn't, he's not worth it!!!!

Yes this is cheating. Boot that bastard.

YES and very disturbing it might also mean age group isn't a factor -

Yes this is cheating your husband has no business sharing intimate photos of himself with other women he might be a sex addict. my husband would be history

Thanks munchkin_kids,i ignored that other comment things like that go over my head,thank you my friend :)

Yes! You should let it be known that you are aware of his devious acts ... If he is already aware that you know, and still continues ... Then find a new man.

YES!!!!! My ex had done this to me, that is why he is now an ex, the b*****d

Ok I'm going to preach moderation here. Look I don't view this as cheating on the surface so I'm not saying that you should divorce him right away. But honestly this behavior needs to stop NOW. You need to bring this to his intention and perhaps you can use leaving him as an ultimatium but you should at least give him the opprotunity to reform himself. BUT ONLY ONE CHANCE no more.

Absolutely...Just another form of sex

Just throw out cheating all together. THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR for a married man!!!! This will soon lead to an appearance on Dateline with Chris Hanson.

yes.

My boyfriend used to text his ex girlfriend about sex and i suspect that she sent him photo's as well. I found out when he received a message from her late one sunday night when she thought we wouldnt be together. It is completely unacceptable and I let him know immediately what I thought about it and how it made me feel. He didnt think that it was cheating, infact he didnt think that he was doing anything wrong at all, but the fact that he was obviously hiding it from me really hurt and made me wonder what else was going on behind my back. After this it took me a while to trust him again. The fact that this is even being asked as a question means that there is a grey area as to whether this is cheating or not. Although it is not considered cheating under the narrow definition, it is definately a betrayal to you and your relationship.

That is very disturbing to hear your HUSBAND is doing this with someone else, if anyone it should be you. You take vows on your wedding day to be true, and in this case, he is sending these fowl pictures to other women, then honey, he ain't being true to you! Dump his ass, that is terrible!

yes this is cheating lisa! if the she in my life was doing what he does to you then she would definatly not be the she in my life anymore. This man sounds as if he has zero respect for you, some advice would be to think about why he does it? if he loved you he would not think about any other woman in any way shape or form, unfortunatly for some -this is what love is!- I mention respect, id also say that he has an ego that overwhelms his dignity. I would very much urge you to leave this man and also to think better of yourself too. so yes i do class this a s cheating, if it was you doing theese things he does what would he do to you? have more respect for yourself, i dont know you but i would say no one, man or woman when in a relationship should put up with this behavior. stand up for yourself and get better for yourself, a man devoted to you and you alone. take care lisa and good luck chucking out the rubbish.

Let me think...YES.

Honey? Is that you?

absolutely

Uh... Yeah! You really had to ask this question?

Oh, it's cheating alright. In order to be sending these videos there has to be some kind of relationship between him and these women even if it's only prostitution. Which wouldn't surprise me. I say pack his crap and toss him before it escalates any more then it already has. And believe me it will. Especially if you stay because you'll teach him he can do what ever he wants and you're not going to hand down the ultimate consequence. Him being exposed for what he is a pig. I'm going to give you a little piece of mind about this since I know what it's going to do to your self worth and self-esteem. This has nothing to do with you, what you look like, or how often you have sex or how "kinky" it is. This has everything to do with his sexual insecurities and lack of control over his own life. It also has to do with his resentment of women and their sexual power and fear of rejection. He deals with this by acting out inapproprately sexually. This is a sign of a sexual addiction as well. This is his problem not your's. You can try counciling, but it's usally just a band aid for a wound that never heals.

For one thing, that's just sick, so yeah he has to be cheating.

YES!

YES, and on further consideration YES.

Well, it's definitely not total faithfulness to you.... BUT....... It all depends on your own definition of cheating. Everyone's definition is different. The common idea is sex, but many people feel like flirting is cheating, or kissing, or etc..... You get the idea.... It's what makes you uncomfortable. If he wouldn't like it if you did it, it's probably cheating. Which sucks for me, because I do a little of this too...... I know I know, I feel bad about it, but it's hard beating the temptations. I rationalize it by knowing that I'd never actually physically have sex with anyone else, WHICH, I do believe is the WORST form of cheating.... so....... Everyone's got their deamons.

hell yes, this is worst, he is sick

not just cheating but kind of creepy. Like guys that do that are the same ones who masturbate in front of open windows. na mean?

I would consider that at least a form of cheating.

yes it is. i wouldn't take it.

Of course!! What a moron...!!! :/

I guess it's not technically cheating...but it's definitely not normal. How do you feel about it?? Do you think it's ok/normal?

Whoa!!! Hahahaha!!!!!! Honestly, I guess it's not much different from porn but my god that is nuts! Honestly, if my s/o did that it would seem pretty messed up but after thinking about it a while, if they were to never meet, it wouldn't kill me. That's pretty messed up. The first time I've ever heard of that in particular. Am I a prude?

In my opinion it is cheating. I think it is a gateway to "real" cheating. If he were checking out porn on line or a video or something I think that is normal and acceptable, particularly if he shares that with you at least some of the time but masterbating to live people is a bit too much. I think maybe just talk with him and open dialog to see why he needs to do that and if there's something you can do to enhance your sex life with him in lieu of others taking up his attention and time. I'm sure it is difficult as a woman to know your husband is doing that, the behavior itself could put him at risk of turning you off entirely, that's my thought anyway...

girrrrl that's cheating. he made vows to you on your wedding day and promised to stay loyal and faithful to you. just because he's not having real sex with these other women, doesn't mean he's off the hook. he's committing adultery in his mind and heart. he's lusting over these other women and wanting sex from them. and besides, if he's got their numbers to text and send nasty pics to, he's definetly got to be talking to them and possibly even seeing them in person. he might very well be having real affairs and not just fantasy ones. i'm sorry you have to go thru this confusion. i'm sure you deserve better than this.

He might as well stick it in her... He'd get more out of it... that's CHEATING period and I would tell him to go get whatever he wants elsewhere, so he will stop disrespecting you, let alone.. your body.

I wouldn't call it cheating as much as a weird thing to do. Why is he doing it? Are they sending videos back of them? It's definitely something to look into.

That's weird and completely sad! get rid.. you can get a much nicer guy out there..men get slated a lot by women for being sleazes,cheats,liars etc etc but honestly there are good guys out there, yours isn't one..you deserve better than that :-)))))))))))))))))

NOT YET! but why you need a psycho? get another one who is sane, you don't need that piece of sh**t who shuold be doing crazy freaky stuff with YOU!! not with cyber woman!!. don't you think?

i would call that cheating

Matthew 5:27,28 “YOU heard that it was said, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say to YOU that everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -- Jesus

Check it here, I hope this could help.. 1. Paying a prostitute for (safe) sex 2. Having sex with someone from the office at a drunken office party 3. Having sex with someone from the office while at work 4. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar after an argument at home 5. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar while away from home 6. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you will never meet 7. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you do meet 8. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like but they do not know 9. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like and you lied about the meeting 10. Holding hands with someone else in public when your partner is not around 11. Oral sex from you 12. Oral sex on you 13. Thinking of someone else while having sex with your partner 14. Buying secret gifts for someone else 15. Sending secret texts to someone else 16. Telling someone of the opposite sex all your secrets and your feelings about your partner but without touching them at all 17. Kissing someone else passionately 18. Buying flowers for someone else but not telling your partner 19. Buying flowers for someone else who your partner does not like and not telling your partner All of those are cheating, and that list is but a tiny tiny fraction of what I think another person would use in a fight - and when trust is broken, a fight (hopefully just verbal) results. So going back to the article at LifeHut, and using that list, I got the impression that the author there would tick all the ’sex’ items. Of course reading this list he will tick them all probably, but that was my impression. And I think that the sex assumption is wrong. Sex is a biological urge. Stronger in some than others, inflamed by alcohol and circumstances but it’s just an act. It’s almost ‘notch on the bedpost’ stuff, it’s about conquest, immediate satiation, lust, scoring and any number of other euphemisms we have for sexual intercourse. In the end though, it’s a base urge and one that arguably we can lose control of at times. Note - I said arguably. So the sex thing .. yes, it is cheating IF both partners agree - and that could be a complex area. Cheating is when the harmed person says it is, not when you think it is. Number 16 is the killer - and I’ve known people who would class 10 as a hanging offence. There’s no touching going on. There’s no base urges happening, but they have just bared their soul to someone else. Which scenario is worst ? • Your partner walks in and says “I’ve just had sex with X from work” OR • Your partner walks in and says “I’ve just told everything I feel about us and you to X from work” Initially, the first hurts but this - however much you protest - could be ‘defended’ albeit it in a way you might not agree with. But the second ? there is no defence for that. That was actively disclosing information to someone else who now possesses that information and even if they never use it against you, you cannot feel the same about them again. In fact they both hurt, but very differently. Because of the first, physical intimacy becomes difficult but because of the second emotional intimacy is ruined. The problem is that you simply cannot ask all the possible questions and even if you did, you would get not all the answers back. I don’t think you can get through any relationship of any depth over an extended period of time without some form of ‘cheating’ going on. If you have done something - anything - that your partner would not like and you have not told them, then they could class that as cheating. You may not see it that way, but your view counts for nothing at that point in time. Test: if they did what you just have, would you be happy about it ? Another test: if you won the lottery would you choose ‘No Publicity’ because of what the Press would dig up about you ? So where’s my answer ? I haven’t got one. I don’t believe there is one despite all these junk TV programmes and Agony Aunt columns advising us about what not to do and when not to do it. I also don’t think we should carry on our lives as if our partners were perched on our shoulders - aren’t they meant to enhance our life, not possess or dictate it ? Fidelity is what you and your partner say it is. And as much as you believe in it, one day you’ll screw it up. That’s the way life is.

HELL YES!!!!

you better believe it!!

Not only cheating, but disgusting to boot!

I can't believe you have to ask this. Not only is it cheating but it is disgusting and pathetic. It usually leads to more as well. Suggest you go and have a sexual check up and hope that he hasn't passed anything on. After that go to a solicitor and get rid of him. He won't mind. He has all his cyber friends to keep him company in the future. And that is all he will have. You have a better future than he does and yours will be in the real world.

I BELIVE IT IS CHEATING.... MY HUSBAND DOES THE SAME THING... IT REALLY MAKES ME UPSET.... BY THE WAY HE NEVER TOLD ME HE WAS CHATTING OR TEXTING OTHER WOMEN.... I FOUND IT OUT BY MISTAKE...

Not if he's sharing this event with you or has your concent.

Disreguarding the immature speach in here and respectfuly answering the question. Every thing in the bible can be logicaly explained, hence God is the auther of all logic. That being said, when a person gets married it is a vow to be with that mate, for life. Now if he is communicateing with another person in a "wantinus way" (sp) as some versons of the bible say it. Then she typicaly feels unwanted, and some what left out. As it is most relationships that the theorpest(sp) says looking at porn or seeing other person will help the relationship it usualy brings the relationship down, not immediatly persay but eventualy (and not in all cases but then the relationship isnt built on love and trust either in those cases, but sexual desire).

i think it is. my husband did this and ended up hooking up with the females!!!!!

i wish all of life's questions were this easy ...

yes def ... he is showing his goods to another woman.. im sure he would not like it if you were doing that with another man!

um......yes...........Brian....

YES!!