"I'd better go to the bathroom--it's that UTI acting up again."

Welp.... I guess its about time for me to be hittin' the ol dusty trail... *yawn & stretch* .... LOL

I have unconditional love for my dad but whenever he buys a new gadget he has to go over every button and function and I just want to KILL MYSELF!!!!!!

I have a headache. Goodbye.

"So I was saying to my parole officer . . . ." "Don't you hate it when you think you've tied up someone really well, and yet they escape?" "I really must go, there's an icepick I must shove into my ear. Toodles!"

In a general social setting: "Sorry I have to run. I have a conference call and need to get to a quiet place and get to work!" If at work: "Great talking with you. I better go and get some work now since neither one of us is being paid to socialize!" If at a club: "Oh gawd! I think I drank too much. I feel like I am gonna throw up!" (RUN OFF) If at church: "Well bless you. I probably should go and fellowship with some of the rest of the congregation now." If on the bus or train: Put on your IPOD earphones and start singing to the music. Basically you've put them on IGNORE! Ms. HeartBeat http://www.askheartbeat.com

Oh Oh, I have to go, my husbands unlocking his gun cabinet.

"I got a metal ball in my ear and I have to get it removed!"

I just sharted.

i once killed a man/woman for talking to me .they havnt found his/her body yet and i like to keep there ear in my pocket. wanna see

i think my water just broke...gotta go.

"Whoops I farted and now I feel squishy in my pants. Gotta go." "Sorry gotta run, dog's on fire."

"Wow, you are really boring and my legs work." "I'm going to stop listening to you now." I'm pretty straight forward, most of the time.

wow you have huuuuge boobs

"9/11 was probably an inside job." that usually shuts people up... when talking in person face-to-face- anyway... It doesn't usually work on the internet though. People don't hide their feelings about it on the net like they would in person. usually anyway...

Oh well, I've got to go change the band aid on my wound now or else it gets saturated with puss.......or Hate to cut this short, but I've got to go check on those human heads in my freezer......or Man, that Mexican meal is really kicking in so I'd better clear out of here before my colon blows;)

Oh crap, grandma's out of her cage, I gotta go dude.

Lol these answers are funny. If your a girl talking to a guy say you have to poop. And if your a guy talking to a girl... hmm.. Lol Idk. Say you have another girl on the other line. Or the one that rezm17422 said would work too.

Start talking about your hemorrhoid issue.

I found out that if you tell someone "you have to shut up now or I will kill you"..that pretty much works real quick..lol (it was a mad moment..not my normal miss sunshine and smiles self) LOL :)

o crap my dominatrix just called, she does not like it when I'm late

I'm sorry but I'm meeting your sister in twenty minutes and I still have to get the Motel room...It works equally well on guys and girls... And if all else fails just break wind...Loudly!

here's 10: 1. insults/death references - ask, "do you think it's possible to bore someone to death? wow...look at the time... gosh, i feel like i've just aged 50 years. gotta go..." [leave very quickly] 2. monty python quotes - start quoting (your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries; the knights who say NI; im a lumberjack and im okay... etc.)... [their eyes WILL glaze over and you should be alone fairly soon] 3. the rain man finish... "uh oh, fifteen minutes to Judge Wapner. fiften minutes to Wapner. gotta go. im an excellent driver." [leave muttering with your head tilted to the side] 4. the housework excuse... "it's been fun, but i really should be weeding the lawn" [this one's a head scratcher] 5. the polite pet excuse (even if you don't have one)..."oops, gotta go, my dog's been waiting for me all day and i really need to let him out" [awwww...everyone has a soft spot for spot] 6. TMI...start bitchin bout the ex ad nauseum. [no one wants to hear it unless they also went out with the ex] 7. politics...ask what their party affiliation is and say what a big supporter of you are of the other party/candidate. start making fun of their favorite candidate. throw in some hard hitting subjects (pro-life/pro-choice) and the conversation should be over shortly. [this subject can be interchanged with religion] 8. mr. wizard...start talking in depth about a subject very few people even have a remote interest or any concept about. ion cushions for example. [...] 9. weirding out factor...this works with homophobic men. talk about your sex change. [they'll be out the door before you can say crying game] 10. fake the seizure...pop the alka seltzer, foam at the mouth and start floppin around like a fish. [make sure you get up and leave before someone calls the paramedics]

On the phone: "What's up with all the dropped calls today? I wonder if my phone is broken." (click!) On the web: Tell them someone is at the door or whatever and then just go invisible or sign out so you don't have to talk to them. Good luck.

I'm sorry - but if I don't leave now I'm going to kill you. Trully I have wasted enough time with you - goodbye. I simply can't take another minute of this horrid conversation - adios! I have to piss - and unless you want to watch me then I suggest we continue this conversation later. May all the demons in hell decend upon you if you don't sease this inane prattle of yours! In two seconds I am going to hold your beating heart right before your astonished eyes - flee now or be amazed! Jesus may love you - but I certainly don't - unless you desire to see your savior in the next few moments then you should take it upon yourself to end this harassment of my august person. Now exit stage left!

Have you heard the good news about Jesus?

man you're a pain in the ass!!

err ahh look, ive eaten some bad guacamole and i think its gonna come back up~

"Well, I'm off to masturbate." That would freak out the person, but would end the conversation... hahahahaha. Unless they thinks that's hot, then... idk anything that's like freaking disguisting really can end a conversation.

I have a bacterial infection. Let's kiss and say goodbye.

In the old SNL sketch "Sprockets", about an ultra avante-garde German guy (Mike Meyers) who dressed all in black and had his hair slicked back, he'd let a guest on his show start talking, then interrupt in a loud voice "Your story has become tiresome".

tell a rlly sick joke like "wats the difference between 12 dead babies and a ferrari?" and wen they say i dont no, answer them by saying "i dont have a ferrari in my garage" lol that'll end the conversation :)

i just vommed in my mouth

"Excuse me..I have to go to the bathroom..I think I am going to throw up".

Funny you should bring this up. I was in Border's Book Store the other day. You know the kind of place with chairs for READING books? This lady sat down and started yakking and yakking and yakking. I suck at small talk anyway, I hate it, but I wanted to be gracious and she took that as a sign that she could take up my whole day, I guess. I told her I had to pee and moved to another section. I am a sales person so I know how to close a sale, but in person, it doesn't work that way, you have to bolt.

My boss is talking to me, have to go RIGHT NOW! (not funny but no one questions that one)

I always say...."damn would you look at the time...I really do need to get going." bam...end of conversation...

"Sorry I have to go now, I left my house on fire..." "Nice talking to you, but if you will excuse me, I need to go shove hot pokers in my ears." "I have explosive diarrhea, so I have to go." " I'm late for my appointment with the incredibly infectious disease specialist."

"My feet itch... Im going to go into the bathroom and wash them in the toilet." Or... "How much are you against blodletting?" You have a very interesting neck!

"My jock itch cream is sooooo not working"

Just say, "I'm so glad we got to catch up (talk/ hang out) we'll have to do it again soon!" Followed by a friendly gesture (handshake/hug/pat on the arm) and smile. Walk away.

if its a guy-sorry but im gay and get quite turned on talking to men so if you'll excuse i need to go somewhere quiet to calm down if its a girl- darn look at the time i have an appointment with the doctor for a prostate exam in my butt bye

If you want to end this, and all future conversations, then you might say ... "I have a _______ [something probably offensive in the blank like Klan, KKK, anti-gay, Kill the Whales, etc.] meeting in about 20 minutes, so we have to wrap things up here" If you just want to end your present conversation, but still talk later, then ... "Ummmm, do you smell that? I think that Mexican did not agree with me, I better run and drop the Browns off ath the Superbowl for a while, talk to you later"

Doesn't this one work? I need to go, see you later! If we want an imaginative one: I have to go I'm due in court for murder of (someone of their description), but I'm sure it's a stitch up! Is it time for bed yet? check the time. Hmmm looks like my watch stopped. I'm so tired, I better go to bed. Ask the person, what would you do if some annoying bastard was talking to you for too long and you wanted to leave? :D :D Oh I have to go I've just developed a massive migrane You know I've met this really annoying guy once who won't stop talking.... You know I should start being meaner, everyone seems to want to share their problems with me. Do you think I should?

If is a conversation in person, face-to-face, let a huge fart and say, "that was a really good one, doesn't it smell sweet?"