I feel sorry for them...some people are just terrified of social interactment..my sister growing up had no friends at all and was terrified of going out anywhere to the mall or bowling or just something fun like that...it is hard for some people to understand how these people could be so anti-social but when you see it first hand you really realise that sometimes they are just truly afraid...

I don't feel sorry for them. Sometimes it's better to have no friends than the wrong friends. I don't judge them, and therefore it's difficult to have an opinion of them. Depending on the situation, I think they're choosy and won't mix with people they don't feel are akin to them. I rather admire these people, for choosing to be alone rather than mix with people they don't want to at heart, and for having that strength of character. I might think they're rather arrogant and 'stuck up'. I might think they are shy, lack confidence and have difficulty mixing with others. After all, some people prefer their own company.

I think it is sad if they want friends and try really hard to have friends, but if they are just antisocial even when people try to be their friend they are just stupid

Well, being one myself, I have great sympathy for my fellow loners.

It is too simplitsic to offer answers to such a question, unless you are a trained psychologist or you are someone who chooses not to have friends. In addition, I object to the premise and declaration that having no friends is anti-social. Why ? Why must society be a priority or, in fact, be of any importance at all ? There are lots of people who don't NEED other people constantly in their lives and are very happy, thank you very much, with their own company and perhaps a sprinkling of one or more folk from time to time. It doesn't mean they don't interact with the world, its just that they choose to do so in a different way from the dictats of mainstream society. And lets face it people, there is no real society anyway, not in the modern world as we know it - there is only the appearance of society, put together by the forces of markets, fear and control by mongers of those same forces, so lets not get up on our high horses.

I think it sucks, Ive ended up in a new state, and new job etc and I dont know any one out here, all my friends and family are back in cali and you cant really meet new people by going out on your own, you jsut get looked at like a loner if your sitting at the bar having a drink by yourself and trying to talk to everyone else and see what there doing later and trying to get numbers you jsut look like a desprite loser. - or you would appear to be waiting for someone etc. alla nd all this shit is really stupid and all that ends up happening is you end up going home alone to sit by yourself, alnoe, jack off and go to sleep with the useless hope that something might work out tommorow but its the same thing day in and day out and nothing changes, soon you begin to jsut confine yourself to your house after work sleep then go back to work and go home to sleep and sleep all day and stay in bed on your day off, get up to eat, shower jerk off and go back to bed, its really depressing and you feel like dieing cuz you have no life and life is pointless. - sometimes you meet someone and have a conversation but if you dont know them that well and ask them if they want to hit up the bar friday or hang out and do whatever it is that you 2 have in common like play guitar or dj or waht ever the new person alwayssays that they are too busy or have work or some excuse evan it might be an insecurity they have about themselves that they are not willing to meet new people. so all and all the situation is extreamly gay. so you go back home to play on myspace or call family or an old friend jsut to raise your social points for the day but nothing hels so you download more porn jack off again and go to sleep and wake up to smoke more pot then go back to bed wake up and eat watch tv, probably start jacking off again and go to bed. its a fucked up cycle thats all i can say - fuck the world and its not my fault! therse nothing wrong with me, im an intresting guy with a successful career and nice home and car, very into music and arts - (sounds like a normal guy right?) but if i jsut meet you at a bar or library then we have no emotional connection - but ... if i met you at a bar and we had both gone to the same highschool or worked for the same company or something like that there might be a better chance but its hadrd to hit it off in jsut a few minutes or hours and exchange numbers and make plans for next week etc - what a bunch of bull shit, it makes me want to give up everything im doing out here and move back home where i had a few friends that would jsut be down to hang out and drink and get high and watch the simpsons or play nintendo etc like back in the good ole days, now in the adult world no one jsut hangs out now, the only time people have other people over is at a event like a bbq or a fucking tupperware party - what happened to jsut sayiong whats up man, wanna chill later, - well im just watching a movie but come over if you want - cool ill bring an 18 pack, cool - see you in a bit - WHAT HAPPEND? - rainbowwisp1984@yahoo.com

It sounds like you have friends back at home and are having a terrible time getting embedded in your new environment. If you're somewhere the weather's cold, that doesn't help. I find that people in New England, for example, are not as welcoming off the bat as people in the South or Mid-west. Customs. It's not about you . . . you obviously have the social skills to make friends . . . the environment makes it take longer. Any special interest groups you could join? Don't know where you are, so am not sure what to suggest. But it's not you.

I must be awfully Pollyanna-like...I don't want to think about that there might be people without any friends at all. But, if someone were truly friendless, I'd not judge him/her. If s/he needed a friend, I would try to be one. If s/he just didn't want to let anyone in, I'd respect that desire.

I've struggled with keeping constant friends my whole life. Right now I don't have any. Yeah, it can be tough but I'd rather have no friends than people who aren't very good friends but rather just people I say hello and bye too. I'm just not interested in fake or superficial relationships. I guess I'm kind of all or nothing that way. I am still social at times depending on the situation but for the most part I won't get too involved with someone unless I know they are someone I can trust and depend on to be there for me when I want someone to listen to me.

they are anti-social or maybe they want to be left alone

I have no friends because im terrifed of social situations and general talking to people, and i feel that everybody around my age (19) dont understand my anxietys, even though i told them. Recently the whole class (14) went out on a pub crawl, and they all "gang" up on me because i didnt want to go, because i get anxiety attacks. and they just make me feel so uncomfortable, people should respect other peoples wishes. In Lower school I did have 3 friends but only to find out that they were my friends because we were in the same class. (i was ditch in 6th form, when i was no longer needed) and spent the last 3 years on my own and im now going to Uni, so i will crash and burn, but like Carmella Candy said (along the lines) im not a sheep or a suck up, and dont fall into peer pressure, which is a strength, so back to the question: what do you think of people that have no friends?- they have a back bone and their own mines, as well as anxietys, but overall strong and deep minded.

Sadly, there's usually a reason behind that.

i recently lost all my friends due to my excessive partying and what they deemed a generally selfish attitude. what they don't know is that i have been in the throes of bulimia for the past two years. if i had been more honest about what was really going on in my life maybe they would have better understood some of my other actions. i know now that losing their friendships was another bad choice i made and now i have to suffer the consequences (being terribly lonely as school doesn't even start for another month and i have no idea how to meet new people in the meantime). if you have no friends there probably IS a reason behind it, but these reasons are varied as some people are simply very shy and have trouble associating with others to begin with, and others are outgoing and attract others but cannot maintain healthy relationships due to some flaw on their part (bossiness, bitchiness, drug addiction, etc.).

I Think people that have no friends can be confident or sad or complacent. I am 23yrs old I have body dysmorthia -( when you dont like your appearance )- severe depression & have no friends whatsoever, and it hurts like hell but for some reason I strangley prefer having no friends- I am completely free to think what I want to think. Maybe hard to believe. I still live with my mum & have never had a boyfriend. I have never really been happy in my life. Been like this since I was 19 thats when my friends left me (only had 4-5 main friends from secondary school) went to college had boyfriends and made thier own friends after they left school. I find it easier to just stay indoors. I feeI safe at home free from the cruel cold society outside of my window. I have been out of work for 3yrs & very strangley enjoy not having to hang around with any snooty co-workers. I like to be with my own thoughts I dont like going out so I dont. It is simple for my relatives to say to me "Just go out" or "join a group" dont they know its near impossible to change someones personality we are who we are, I am a loner lets face it always have been always will be fullstop. I have anxiety & sometimes panic when talking to people I cant look them in the eye & I speak to people in a quiet-shy-low voice. I only go out to get shopping & pay bills. I sleep in all day or surf the web. So whats the point in having friends that are bitchy & think thier better than me. I just dont want any. I will not have ANYTHING in commom with them so I would rather not even try for stuck up biased, racist, stupid & phony friends. I would not put myself up for humiliation by "sucking up" to any "in crowds" out there just to be accepted that would be the real waste of time. & I am not a bad anti-social person honestly. I am nice. Its just that I am shy. Thats not so bad?

To me that would be living in hell - after all 'friends' can be either blood relations or non-blood...and to have no support system at all would make life a very lonely and threatening place.

It could be either of these: A) Nobody likes them B) They don't like nobody C) They spend too much time in the Internet

So? I've had times in my life when I had no friends? People can be cruel if they don't like something about the person - like their income level or their race or their weight...sad-sack excuses for not talking to someone.

Its lonely, its just like being alone on this planet and finally this person will talk to himself/herself.

We save plenty of money only buying meals for one.

Lets be friends with em :)

I was once like that and I have to say its a lonely place

how sad.... :-(

I think that would be me, depending on your definition of friends. There's a certain amount of danger inherent in being/having a friend. I've seen people calling someone friend when they are barely acquaintances. My Hubby is my best friend, followed closely by other family members. I keep very busy with family matters and my hobbies, and I am very happy with my life.

I think that there are usually two reasons. I think that some people find it incredibly hard to just randomly talk to new people for fear of being seen as desperate for friends which is sometimes what they are but don't want to show it. The other is that some people are just petrified of social situations that they aren't accustomed to. I for one suffer from the second, things like just going to set-up a bank account (which I still haven't had the courage to do) can overwhelm people with fear and anxiety.Either way it is incredibly hard and before I lost all of my friends but I would have probably looked down on people with few or no friends but I now feel sympathetic towards them.

Sometimes it's not worth the aggravation of having friends. Some are so damn high-maintenance. I stopped being friends with a couple of them because they wanted to get together so frequently and if I didn't call, there was something wrong with me. I don't have many but the few I have, I see maybe a few times a year but talk on the phone daily. I like it that way. Not everyone seeks to be surrounded by people. I do not think there is anything wrong with people that do not have any friends, as long as it's their choice. I do have a lot of acquaintances though.

They have made choices somewhere along the line to be in that situation. It is their choice. Leave 'em too it. They know what they have to do if they want to change things. You know?

I understand exactly what your saying. Sorry for responding to this so late btw. I am almost 24 years old and am struggling to get my bachelor's and stay afloat at the same time. I work long hellish hours in a grocery store and take 13 credits which consume the long days that I am not at work. I seem to have fairly decent social skills when dealing with people in class and at work but that's about it. I do have a few friends that say I am important to them, and are important to me, but due to my schedule and what not, I am rarely able to hang out with them. And even when I do, I still feel like I am not part of the group so much, even though they tend to treat me kindly and want me to be. I was in a committed relationship for about a year, and then another year in this strange type of limbo with that person. Even though we weren't dating, I still saw her almost every day for another year and still told her that I loved her. I have spent so much time with her that perhaps now I cannot seem to shoehorn myself into other social situations comfortably. I study computer programming and am very interested in video games, web development, music(metal, hardcore, punk, indie, etc); yet rarely find someone to share my interests with. At times, I feel like perhaps, I am just not informed enough of my own interests due to the intensity of my schedule and tough family life at home, (my stepfather is a lazy worthless piece of garbage who hasn't had a job as long as he's been married to my mom (10 years!), all the while she held down 2 tho, he is totally out of touch with modern society and uses petty methods in an attempt to control those around him (i.e. turning off my router without asking, entering my sister and I's rooms and poking around), because my mother sits there and pretends that her life is a two story suburbian home surrounded with a white picket fence, and any time she's ready to break down with all the stress, all she does is says that it's none of my business what he does with his life because he makes her happy. Of course I forgot to mention I work with my ex-girlfriend who is currently seeing someone else and is too afraid to tell others at work for fear that they will talk trash about her and support me. So everyone still makes comments about us like, "Oh there's the happy couple!!". Fucking terrific right!!! Mundane retardation surrounds me everywhere I go, and I've only been taught to swallow it to the point that I don't know what is wrong and what is right anymore. I don't consider suicide. I don't believe in it, nothing religious but I'm not just not into it. I do my best to interact with others, but I always come up short. I don't want superficial friendships, even though some friendships that I do have are somewhat superficial, I do appreciate all people and wish that they could be better closer friendships. But I let very few people in and I'm afraid that when I do, I just can't hold on for fear of really losing them. So allowing them to be dismissed as whatever, never gets my hopes up. If anyone feels me and wants to ever talk you can find me on facebook...Joseph William Carson Coral Springs Florida...USA...Florida Atlantic University....Thanks for listening!

I think it's a bad feeling..I have good friends right now but the bad thing about me is that I go through mood swings for 1 month every year like it starts on Oct.29 and ends Dec. 8th to all people that might be a short period of time..But Scince I'm going tho. it, it seems realllllyyy long but my friends support me esspecialy my best friends Like Karley and Alysha I love them so much that why it's good to have friends..

I'll start at the beginning...High school was difficult. I had a small gorup of aquaintances that I hung around with, but there was one lass who tried to control everybody. I hated it, and one day, when told by her to leave the room because she wanted it to her self (i know!) i refused. From then on, my high school career was down the drain. My previous "freinds" wouldn't associate with me for fear of being picked on, that girl turned a lot of people against me. I got on with it and kept cheerful, but obviously it built up and got worse. Having been beaten up a few times, my anger got really high and I got known as the weird one who flips at people. It was difficult not to, trust me! Anyhow, i finished school with no freinds and was ok with it as I had my family. I looked forward to college as a fresh start, and chose one where noone from my school was going to. Fresh start and all that. I tried to join clubs, I was on the college council for example, and really got involved. I had a few freinds but was constantly on edge about what people really tohught. I was paranoid. I thought that people were pretending to be my freinds and would turn against me. Sounds stupid, yes. But i spent 5 years being the one people hated. I couldn't help my feelings. I finsihed college and things had been a hell of a lot better. I then started University in september...and find myself with one close freind. She is now leaving the course. I have tried to stay open from the begininng in order to mix and socialise, but found myself turned away, so concentrated on my one freind. We are extrmely close and I feel i have made a freind for life, but noone else seems interested. And it isn't that I've closed myself off because I did the opposite. Myabe i appear deseprate for freinds, maybe there is something about my personality that people just do not like. But im relaxed, I lvoe having fun, chilling out, playing pool...normal things! I'm a nice girl! I think trust issues can be a source of many problems. I have to learn to make a fresh start with every situation and drop all my paranoia...but it really is so hard. And i'd love to say I'm happy having just one close freind and I have a fantastic family...but I'm just not. My twin borther is going to prison soon and I can feel my family breaking under the pressure of it all. What happens then? I can't rely on them for everything, they need me to be strong and look after them which, of course, I always will, but what happens when I need someone? I'm always there for other people, i ask them questions about themselves and Im genuinely interested...but they just seem to turn their back on me. What is it im doing worng? Someone please give me their suggestions

im one of them, sometimes you just get unlucky, i thought of doing volunteer work where i visit nursing homes and the patients that dont have visitors, that way i get my needs met at the same time they get theirs met, or getting a pet

I think I would be their friend if they want me to be.

It's our choice, some people just cannot find anyone to level with, like myself. I'm friendless right now, and living alone.

Some individuals don't have friends because they are too socially anxious to go out into the world and meet new people.

I think there is a reason for it.