Is it okay to lie about your past if indeed it could determine the destiny of the relationship?
by 
ndnbabe
ANSWERS: 56
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No. It is never acceptable to lie. This is especially true when talking with a potential life partner. It IS acceptable to describe how you have learned from your mistakes, and how you have changed your behavior accordingly.
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Lying might solve problems on the surface, but not in the long-run. Think of the guilt you'd get from knowing that you lied to them even BEFORE you got together. Imagine how they would feel if they found out. I wouldn't lie about your past. If you don't feel you want to talk about it, say so; any respectable person would understand.
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If lying was done to begin a relationship then it can't be much of one. What I mean is you have to have trust and honesty or there isn't anything that will keep it bonded together. People should love you for who you are without the need to hide from your past. You may be surprised how understanding people can be if given the chance. It is not alright to lie.
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No. If the lie is ever discovered, it could ruin the relationship. I wouldn't want to invest in a relationship with something like that hanging over my head.
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Every choice you make will have an impact on your destiny, some good, some bad. If you lie it will just take you down a different path, usually not a good one, therefore truth is the best option.
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No because if it is something that might affect the other person's decision to be with you then it is destiny anyway.
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Not unless you want it to bite you in the bum later.
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good relationship can't be built on lies. If the person truly loves you, he won't care. The past is the past.
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No, I would think that it would be especially important NOT to lie, if it could determine the destiny of a relationship. No relationship should ever be founded on lies.
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No. People will eventually find out the truth and they will not trust you anymore. It will totally ruin your relationship.
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If you have something to hide that you feel the other person would reject you for, then is it fair on the other person not to give them the chance to choose for themselves? Suppose it were the other way around? How owuld you feel if they tried to hide something important from you? You can't know what the destiny of the relatonship will be, it's not in your hands. But you can spoil things by not trusting in your partner. You might feel guilty or afraid of discovery. If it really is something big then you need to be open. If its not that big, maybe its just your fear talking.
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It is best not to lie, just say "I can't talk about it right now." and "Someday." The truth will eventually leak out from you over time, so it will be better for you to look as making a mistake other than being a liar.
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lying is deceit and a very good way to kill trust, when the broken trust is discovered, you might as well pack your stuff unless you both are playing games, in which case nothing really matters, better off to tell the truth and see about your partner's sense of justice or fairness, personally, i would much rather know what is REALLY going on than have to guess, if you have to wonder you can wonder some really bad shit
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No its not okay to lie about your past as skeletons can always be digged up when you are not expecting it. Better to admit to your faults than lie about it.
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No. Lying is wrong. Period. You might disagree with me, though.
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No a relationship should not be built on a foundation of lies and deceit
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If your s/o is understanding they will not end anything over you being truthful...but if it's really bad...you might as well be truthful anyways... I have been truthful through all my relationships...i used to not be...and it helps so much...because if they don't understand, at least you are open and you don't have a weight on your shoulders... the one that comes along and is truly understanding, is the one.
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I don't think so. It will be hard to have a strong, firm relationship if there's lies you're depending on. Sooner or later, it's going to spill, and trust me, it's not worth it. It's better to tell the truth at this point and see how your s/o reacts. You never know, it might not be as bad as you think! ; )
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It is not okay to lie in a relationship, if anything it will break up a relationship. Honestly is always the best answer reguardless of the situation.
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I'm telling you now...if you lie about your past, you will be discovered and you will have no future with the person you wish to be with. Without honesty there can be no respect.
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THIS IS ME, THE PERSON NEEDING THE ANSWER!! FIRST OF ALL IT WAS MY BF WHO LIED TO ME AND HAS BEEN WITHHOLDING INFO THAT REALLY DESTROYED ME BUT HE THINKS THERE WAS JUSTIFICATION FOR IT BUT I DONT SEE IT THAT WAY. I FOUND OUT HE IS AN EX FELON - I FOUND OUT HE HAS 2 EX WIVES - I FOUND OUT HIS MOTHER INVITED HIS EX TO A PARTY THAT WE WERE ATTENDING FOR THE FIRST TIME - I FOUND OUT HE HAS THREE KIDS FOR DIFFENT MOTHERS!!! nOW THIS IS SHOCKING!! hE NEVER DISCLOSED THESE TO ME AT ALL, I HEARD THEM FROM FAMILY AND HE DID NOT DENY ANY OF IT!! HE JUST SAID IT WAS HIS PAST AND THAT'S WHERE IT SHOULD STAY... HE TOLD ME TO LEAVE THE PAST ALONE AND NOTHING SHOULD MATTER FROM THE TIME WE MET ON WHICH WAS 4 YEARS AGO... SO FOR 4 YEARS HE WAS BEING DISHONEST...
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Wait a while. whats acceptable to a person that already loves you is different than exposing everything on a first date.
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NO, lying aboout your past does not control the destiny of your relatioship. You control that. If you don't want someone to know your past because it may harm the relationship means, that person is not for you
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always tell the truth, no matter what. if they love you it wont mattter to them what you did .
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yOU DONT HAVE TO LIE BUT YOU CAN EXPLAIN THERE ARE THINGS YOU WISH NOT TO TALK ABOUT YET. yOU MIGHT FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE PERSON IN TIME AND YOU FEEL YOU WANT TO TELL THEM.
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i think honesty is the way to go but jus because you may not like your past dosent mean he wont too....jus let him know you dont wish to talk about it that much but dont lie either
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Don't. Things always tend to work out in such a way that you'll eventually be FORCED to tell a truth. Better to build a foundation on truth than on lies.
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It depends on what kind of lie it is: this can make a huge difference. In my opinion, there are certain things that are okay to lie about, if they really have nothing to do with the relationship or life you live now. If they are things that make up a part of them now, though, than there probably is an underlying reason why you would want to lie about them. For example, forgetting to mention that you used to go out with a guy that you still maintain generous contact with might mean that you have feelings for that guy and kind of hope to have the best of both worlds in some way.
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No it is not. It would be like mending a hole with a paper napkin. The destiny may be no other than failure. Regards.
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I don't know about lying, but I certainly don't think you have tell everything!! Im a big believer in don't ask don't tell. Just a footnote: When speaking about the number of past relationships, Men always add 3 or 4, women always subtract 3 or 4.
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It's never okay to lie
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It goe without saying, tell the truth from the start. You will most likley you will get caught eventually. That will have a huge impact on trust. No matter what it is you are hiding your partner will accept you for who you are if he/she is worth having
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No. Your relationship is based on who you are past and present. You may not be who you once were. They should choose to accept you for who you now are.
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Lies always come back to haunt you. It would be a waste of time and a road to more hurt if you did not lay the cards on the table illuminating the truth now rather than having things fall apart later when the truth comes out.
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Not if the outcome of the relationship is based on a lie.
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Not really, no. Maybe you could hold off on, or not bring up saying certain things, but if asked, the other person is asking because they need to know the information.
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It's not okay to lie as it will affect your own behavior and it can always be found out later. Better to clear yourself of it and trust people to accept things the way they really are.
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It is never alright to lie about anything at any time. And it's most definitly not a good idea to do it at the start of a relationship. Eventually the lie will some to light and after that no matter what you say or do nobody's going to believe or trust you.
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No. A relationship based on dishonesty is doomed.
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No. It isn't okay. This is for both ethical and practical reasons. If you need to lie to sustain a relationship then it's better at that stage to let go of the relationship. You are incompatible anyway. Often telling the truth gets an embarrassment out of the way and you move on past it together. It becomes insignificant in the years to come. What the truth does do is to make trust and true commitment possible. An embarrassing confession does build trust. If it doesn't you are better off out of it.
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A lie will determinate the relationship.
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If you care about the person you wouldnt lie to them. You wouldnt want to be lied to would you? If someone lies to you in your mind they lost all credibility with you. Take the other person's feelings into consideration. Be honest and up front. Im sure it's not as bad as you might think.
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obviously you feel the need to lie about something to make the relationshoip work, ur afraid of wat the person might think if they found out that lie?? you shouldnt want to be wit some one who doesnt accecpt you for you or the things you done, all relationships are based on trust and honesty.. it aint the way to go. if u tell them what it is theres two ways it could go downn. 1. they dont care about it and you don have to lie to them and everything is fine or 2. they do care and they break up with you? either way why would u wanna be wit some one you have to lie around just to keep them hapy.. be yourself dont keep secrects or hold back anything thats you
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i attempted that.... i felt horrible.. ended up telling my s/o the lie.. he forgave me, but i'll never forgive myself for lying about the stupid thing... DONT LIE!!!!
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No, I don't think it's right to lie. But I also don't believe you have to go into minute detail about all your past relationships. Unless there is something in those relationships that still affects you now eg. you are paying child support to somebody, the other person is still in your life in some way; it's better to leave them in the past.
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No you don't need to tell him anything about your past unless it would put him in harms way. Like if you could pass him on a deciese. Yeah I say it's ok..
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Never!
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NO! It is never ok to lie to the other person, particularly, when your past will eventually catch up with the other person. You tell the truth and face the consequences. You have an obligation to tell and she/he has the right to decide what is right and best for them. You can't possibly make that decision for anyone
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This is how i feel my past has nothing to do with my bf i didn't know him he didn't know me, and any of the choices i made then (which some where not the best) does not effect me now there for do not reflected upon the relationship him and i have present day Now!!( and we are not all perfect we have all done things in are past we are not proud of but that is why it is called the Past) I can understand why you would be upset he showed you deception and if he could lie about all of that what else has he lied about or capable of lying about. I'm not saying what he did was right by all means but if he is a good guy and he treats you good then you should look past that also when you let him know that you knew he admitted it to you. When you met him you like everything about him that is why you dated him. Would you have dated him if you knew he had kids and was married 2ice and was a ex felony. Probaly not and you wouldn't of feel in love with him because you wouldn't give him the time or day.
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Never lie about anything as it will come back to haunt you one day!
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No, the truth always come out. Who knows when a friend of the past will appear telling old stories, messing up your lie with the s/o. Just tell the truth and hope that it works out.
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Go right ahead,Pinnochio.
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I believe in being totally honest with your s/o. I would want someone to love me for who I am, flaws and past mistakes too! After all, your past mistakes made you who you are today. I don't want someone loving me because they think I am different than what I am or because of a lie.
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I did that. I lied about my past because i thought "past is the past for a reason" but it just dug me into a deeper hole.
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I don't believe it IS OK. The best relationship you could have is one where you bare everything about you the good with the bad. Things that we have done in the past don't necessarily reflect who we are now. The best partner to have is one that will accept you who you are, past AND present.
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I loss my true love because I didn't tell him one thing that came up in a statement he made and I thought He was doing that one thing and I was totally enranged and kicked him out telling him I hated him and I never wanted to see him again. I came to know that if this one very serious secret I thought I could not tell anyone even him I had told him he would have understood my rage when he made such a statement or he probably would never made the statement. If you truly love some one trust them to tell them All! It can come back to haunt you later.
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