• The boy did not want to eat. He had place the food on the floor and the dog got to it. I asked why he put his food on the floor if he knew the dog was going to get it. He said the dog had took it of the table himself or itself.
  • When I was a kid my parents told me that there was this fat guy who flew all around the word with his reindeer giving all the good people presents! Of course it was the 60's, so maybe they were doing drugs.
  • When I was about 4, my mom's boyfriend let me watch him change a fuse in the fuse box of his house. He handed me a fuse that had blown, and told me to take it to my mom, but not to drop it, because it would blow up like a bomb. I was probably 16 before I realized that wasn't true, and I'm still wary of them to this day...LOL
  • I remember one of the kids in my 3rd Grade class tried to convince everyone that he remembered being born.
  • The usual kid things like if you swallowed chewing gum it'd wrap round your heart and strangle you to death - that was always cheery! Or if you stepped on the cracks in the pavement, they'd open up and you'd go to hell... nice. I was a defiant child, so I'd do these things on purpose! ARGHHHHH! <choke> AHHHHHH!!! lol!!!
  • The devil made me do it.
  • My BF's roommate tried to convince us that he had once owned three ferrets which he had trained to fetch beer for him from the fridge. Apparently, they worked as a team, two opening the fridge and the third taking the beer out. they took turns rolling it to him in the living room with their noses. :::eye roll:::
  • This guy I dated told me that he worked for the FB I and that he did undercover work as an agent. I found out later that he was married and had two children and a wife. That was after his family came to my house looking for him.
  • That their grandfather had ovarian cancer!! I think they were wanting some sympathy--so let it slide and gave them a hug! LOL
  • The only one I can remember is from my uncle, that a match could burn twice. He didn't lie....... Oh yes, there was another one. He showed me a water spicket in front of the chicken house, and told me it could talk. My other uncle was hid inside the chicken house, and talked through the open end of the iron pipe in there. "Hello, little boy, how are you doing?" I was scared of that spicket for a long time.
  • My Mother told me that a pond in a nearby cow field was bottomless to try to scare me away from going near the water, but I was so worried about the cows falling in while having a drink that I spent most days trying to scare them away from the waters edge. This continued until the farmer electrified the boundary fence, one or two shocks from that led me to decide that the cows would have to take their own chances :o)
  • That when I would go to sleep one time a year a giant rabbit would come hopping through the house hiding things that came out of chickens for me to find in the morning... Or the other one that if i put a tooth under my sleeping pillow then a fairy would whiz through the house and pay me for my missing bone. I like this one: A fat man would get up on the house transported by flying animals connected to a giant metal sled and would drop down the chimney, making no sound when old fatty would hit the ground, and leave me presents when i never even met the man. he knew every living thing about me, but ive never talked to or seen the man. creepy. he'd expect to be left out food cause he was hungry.. and do 234879247534 houses a night.
  • once when i was walking along the street, a guy walked up to me and said: "if you jump off a rock and land in a puddle then you will make such a big splash you will stay dry." and of course me being me i tried it and got soaking wet. also when i was 7 my mum told me not to open this door in our house because of the evil shadow monster and me being me, i opened it and i got flattened by random things of mine that my mum didn't like, so she had hidden them to try and stop me finding them
  • my mom told me that a doctor had to pierce my belly button because there was a vein that if it got cut you couldnt have babies. she also told me i couldnt get my cartlidge pierced because if the vein was cut i would lose my hearing. this was in sixth grade and i went to school and told all my friends. the reason behind these lies was to get me to change my mind about piercings.
  • My mom told me that babies come out of a mother's smotch, I used to wonder where the hole is
  • My former girlfriend told me that she was happy with the man who cheated on her and continously beat her up and that she would do anything for the guy...
  • A guy I dated when I was in high school had me convinced he was an air traffic controller and he was stationed in Germany and we were making plans to get married and I was going to move to Germany. Well, he was just a peon of some sort who actually got dishonorably discharged from the Army and for what exactly I don't know - he probably told me some story but it was probably a lie. And another one - my mom always explained celebrities/rockstars who died as dying from "exhaustion". Didn't want to explain OD-ing on drugs to me I guess. Yep, Jim Morrison and Elvis for example: Cause of death - Exhaustion. Gyrating and mumbling into a microphone on a stage is a very exhausting job apparently.
  • There was a person 2000 years ago that walked on water, sooo funny that the biggest lie that being told in this world
  • A fellow I sometimes hang around with after school once tried, in all seriousness, to convince me that he was living in a cave up in the foothills with a storehouse of automatic weapons, in preparation for the inevitable zombie invasion. I'm relatively sure/hopefull that he assumed I knew he was joking, but only about that last part.
  • When I was about 6 or 7 I found a porn mag in between the mattresses of my parents bed. I was thrilled. My little sister pulled it away from me and took it to my mom. She explained that it had come in the mail for some people upstairs and they hid it so we wouldn't see it.
  • My cousin: "My Volkswagen talk to me."
  • My ex told our English teacher he didn't have his homework because just as he had signed his name to it a big wind came along and lifted it into the air where a helicopter chopped it into pieces and then a flock of birds came along and ate the homework confetti. Mrs. Ferguson said something about needing hip boots. lol
  • i dont rennennber
  • That my friend has a step mother

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