• I feel's like they weren't even listening and how i was feeling doesn't even matter...that I shouldn't have confided in them anyways. All in all they're more than likely right, though...haha
  • I've found that that can make it worse. Sometimes it's helpful to know that you're not alone, you're not the only one with THAT problem....but hearing that there are lots worse makes MINE feel petty or less worthy of distress somehow.
  • it pisses me off
  • No it doesn't make it hurt any less and neither does it make them feel any better. When you are going through a personal trial and life is getting you down, you need someone who will commiserate and understand your feelings not compare you to others or judge your problems against anyone else's!! You need a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on and sometimes even someone to just listen to you and hold your hand.
  • I think probebly it was said in good faith - don't judge her too harshly - she is only trying to help after all :-)
  • I think sometimes people say this to help you put your problems in perspective. That being said it is still frustrating, and it usually doesn't make me feel any better at all. Those people are trying to help in their own way, they just don't know how to help you :)
  • well, i found it helpful in easing hurt. to realize that other people have it worse that is...during a diffucult time in my life i started volunteering for the homeless...getting out of my own head and seeing things from a different perspective really made me feel like my life was really pretty good...despite my troubles.
  • It depends a bit who says it and in what sort of tone. If it's said as a statement on its own, it's dismissive, as in "don't bother me with your problems, you wimp." But I think as part of a wider conversation, it's intended to help you achieve balance. The best way of listening to someone is to validate what they say and let them know that you are listening and are available for when they want to talk it through. You can tell by the way questions are phrased here, that a good number of people understand the situation and the logical course of action to take. It's just that it's the harder path to take, so they're looking for help to face that fact. We all need support sometime.
  • I know what you mean. No it doesn't help. If someone says that, it's irrevelant.
  • no, it angers me a lot. just because i don't live in a card-board box or have cancer, doesn't mean i don't have a right to feel like absolute shit.
  • I think they can say it differently, because put like that, to me, it's the same as saying 'Your problems aren't real or worth talking about. Your problem is a joke, get over it, you pussy'. You can easily point out the positives in the situation, instead of down playing your problems. For example, let's take someone living paycheck to paycheck who's working and going to school full time. Let's say they're stressed and worrying about money, bills, loans etc...instead of saying 'Honey there are way more out there a helluva lot worse off than you...' you can say 'Well at least you don't have a family to support as well. Thank God for that.' That's a more sensitive way to put imo. Pointing out the positives to help you is a lot more constructive than putting you down and making you feel self centered about your probs.
  • I know there are many people who have it worse than I do, but when I'm hurting bad and I tell someone, that's the last thing I'd want to hear!!
  • That just shows they don't really care what you're telling them. I know people who say that and will if i tell them things... like my sister.... -_- So, just either talk with someone else, because honestly it's not even helping and it only makes you feel worse.
  • A person that would say something like this sounds like an apathetic idiot, and that statement would pi** me off royally. Possibly to the point where I would consider never voluntarily associating with them again. If there is one thing I CAN'T stand, it is a person that makes another feel guilt for feeling bad. Makes me sick really. +5 for the question.
  • When I've felt down, I want to be the centre of the world! I want to be the only on e with a problem, and not have someone tell me that there are loads of others worse off than me - no there aren't, not as far as I'm concerned! Of course I know that's selfish, but when you're low, that's how you are, and you really don't want to be 'jollied' out of it. You want to fester in your misery until it's a better, but at the same time you want a sympathetic ear. I hope that I'm a good listener, but I must admit I do tend to over-empathise - been there, had that, worn out the t-shirt. :]
  • You just answered your own question it seems. It didn't help you much, did it? They were probably being very dismissive and judgmental and not considering your feelings. I have made myself feel better by hearing these words at the right time.

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