A lot of things I have researched on this topic provide hope for me. I have done my fair bit of delving. I have been to therapy since I was 5 I am now 21. I am getting into fights with everyone I live with. My mom my boyfriend, and my grandparents have had to deal with my mood swings. I end up crying myself to sleep. And they feel like they are walking on eggshells. I have a NLP practitioner I see to help me with ptsd and change my perspective. Without her I have no idea where I would be. Possibly dead. I've been frequently feeling anxious and not wanting to leave my home and when I'm at work I really don't want to go back home cause I'm afraid I'll get into another fight. I know this is all in my control. But sometimes I really do feel like it is not in my control. That I will always get into huge fights with my family and I will be broke and financially dependant on someone else for most of my life. I'm only 21 but since graduation I have seen my friends grow up without me. I've been stuck in a rut of depression for far too long. I want to take responsibility. I really want to have a good relationship with my mom and I want to hug her and i really don't want her to hate me. We just had a really bad argument and all I wanted to do was hug her but everytime I opened my mouth I got more angry until she left the room and I cried profusely. Thank you for reading this. I'll be waiting for your answers. I really hope tomorrow I wont cry anymore.