for a relationship that has ended because of lost trust but you are still corigal to each other because you still love each other and have been together for 9 years and have 2 kids. is it better to talk as friends and not try to get back with her or give her space? My goal is to mend the relationship and be a better husband and father.
I was the problem.
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You do not give many details but the time to give her "space" would have been when you were together. You cannot be a "better" husband if you are not together. And if she does not want to resume your relationship then that is pretty much out of the question. You say you were "the problem" but I don't know if that is true because it takes two. And no one is perfect. Generally speaking if she enjoyed being with you she would have stayed with you but if she feels it was bad for her and the children she will want to stay broken up. If you were really "friends" doubtful you would have broken up at all.
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