Hey ' Baby - you gonna'give me some right - I'm history from that second on

I need just one more operation for my sex change. By the way, do I still have that 5 O-clock shadow? I'm just wondering if those estrogen shots are working yet.

"Oh by the way, I have a severe mood disorder." Been there and did that for 10 years in a marriage and am raising a child with a mood disorder - I think that's more than enough experience for me in one life time!

i have no interest in music what so ever. i would punch the girl in the face damn it!!!!

i have HIV and i dont like condoms .or them telling me that they have some other major std, dont come near me without a condom.

If he said to the waiter while looking at me, "I'd love some liver with fava beans and a nice chianti" I'd be boltin outta there faster than you could say "Michael"

i think i'm gay haha or....I can't wait to tell my mom how much fun i had tonight! **I can remember which site I got my avatar off of...But Here are a couple sites that looked through http://www.coolbuddy.com/ http://avatars.jurko.net/ http://www.avatarist.com/avatars/Animals/

So when do you want to get married? or saying something like "there was this one time that i slept with my sister...but we both thought we were someone else...and it was dark...but hey jr. Will never know"

So when we goona go back to your place? I'd slap him right then and there

I have i suprise for you... (you say WHAT?) IM GAY/LESBIAN!!

"Weren't you my 7th grade English teacher?"

"You got some hedge clippers and duct tape?" ...or... "Wow, your dog is really sexy!" ...or... "Thanks for asking me out. I'm so glad I didn't tell you about my infection before!"

If he said, "whatever you do, don't look in the freezer..."

I love you.

I think 13 year old boys are just sexy. What's scary is, my date REALLY told me that, and thought he was just so up-and-coming and cool for saying it. I still debate in my head whether or not I should have told some kind of authority about that guy.

"im pregnant and the father ran, now i need someone to pose as the father."

"I'm sooo going to cut your hair."

that they admire ted bundy's courage and jeffrey dahmer's technique.

"Does that drink taste the same since you came back from the bathroom? Not that I'm asking because I did something to it or anything. Just curious."

Anything that involves calling me "sex kitten".

i think i love you.

so you said you were a girl right?

Young looking guy says to young 22 year old girl after haveing a few drinks on their first date: 'By the way, I'm actually not 25, I'm 42 oh and I am not single... more like divorced with 2 kids. Oh and my oldest is just about your age!" True story!

One guy I dated off and on, was newly divorced. We were sitting down for dinner one night and he mentioned his EX and children. I said I was sorry, and did his ex work? He said "which EX?" I said "umm how many are there?" He said "SIX but I have yet to find the perfect woman for me, but I think I just did." I said " DONT think so." Never took his calls after that. <shudder at being number 7>

i've got herpes and i like tottenham hotspur.

Mentioning marriage on a first date is a little too soon. Shouldn't we save that for the second date?

i m going through a divorce right now.

&quot;Wow, you really look a lot like my mom!"

&quot;I've been watching you..." (Even more so if it is a blind date.)

&quot;Mother says I shouldn't sleep in her bed anymore, but I say I'm a grown man and I can do what I want!" or "So I was at a Star Wars convention last week..." Anything that would complete that sentence....mmm, no. or Anything he says to the sock puppet he wears on his left hand... or (I've actually known someone who heard this from a guy, it's so creepy) "I don't believe in condoms. What do you think abortion is for?" OMG!!!!

anyone who starts talking to imaginary friends or refers to themselves in the third person....

It's not contaigous anymore. Honest.

My dad's just suggested a threesome !

do you like wedding cake?

i want to marry you and have 24 kids with you.

I'm a tranny

You'll have to excuse my clawing and itching in public. You see.. These darned herpes blisters combined with these crabs are really annoying.

I've walked into public restrooms that were so nasty, a body condom could have came in handy. Ewwww !! LOL

Are you gonna eat those fish eyes? I like to bring em home to my daddy where he makes belts out of em.

I have walked into public restrooms that were so disgustigly nasty , that I wished I had a body condom , or a one atmosphere, air supplied, biohazard suit.

Sort of like a hosptital version of the movie Basic Instinct. LOL

Hi Mom!

&quot;Let's get it on!" or "How about it!" Anything with a sexual overtone to it.

Lets see there are a number of things that a guy could say and I would totally bolt out the door.. For example. 1. I had a sex change 2. I have several children with different woman 3. I'm married 4. I use heavy drugs (cocaine, crack, herion, ect.) 5. I like it up the butt... 6. I just want friends with benefits 7. I'm just looking for a good lay

what ypu mean I have to "crack my carrot" now? It has actually happened to me... and I never dating him again after that statement

Wanna go back to my place? I thought we could pull out my Tarot cards and see what our future holds...

this actually happened to me: he said " I got rid of my last girlfriend by getting out the kitchen knife and cutting up her clothes" That put me right off immediately i can tell you!

I think I sharted excuse me...

what was youre name again? or hey now can we leave the lights out while we get romantic i really not into the upper half of you but hey you're bottom half lokks really hot

What would make me run away? If she told me she was a furry, lol, or as I call them, Furverts, lol. No offense to any Furrys out there, just not my style. Start serenading her with a bloodhound gang song called the Bad Touch. That'll get a girl to flee from me. Ha-Ha! Well now we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

i'm pretty open... but i know something they could DO that would make me hightail it out of there... i'm going to go with the "seinfeld" classic [i at least believe that it was seinfeld] "he reached over, plucked a hair from my head, and started flossing with it at the table!" i would be out of there in a second.

*phone rings...he picks up...few minutes later* Oh sorry, that was my wife calling.

Haha...I think this may be for funny, creative answers. But I can't think of any. I'd be gone if they mentioned anything along the lines of sex or anything sexual.

I think that our first child should be named Gertrude Nosniborg.

This actually happened to me. I walked into the bar and my dates mouth dropped open. Finally he said something, "So, you're what, 38DD?" I told him I left my cigs in the car and never returned.

My father is a lawyer

As a man, if the woman across the table says," I used to be a man," I am leaving.

Nothing. If they're crazy, all the better.

&quot;i've got three of them."

My dad and John Gotti were best friends one call to his Son John Jr and it;s all over for you I would be outta there faster than speed racer lol

i dont shower

&quot;Why did you come here anyway?" - - - True story, that guy is an ass...

How do you like the "new" me?

asking about wehre i got my clothes... not in a nice way, but in a "oh my gawd i cant believe he doesnt have enough cash on hand to buy all of his clothes at versace!" kind of way...

that they love me ARHH

1. So... I'm trying humans for the first time at my psychologists' suggestion.... dogs are just so much more forgiving. 2. Hi my name is Jeffery Dahmer! 3. I used to be gay but I was 'cured' by one of those programs... 4. Last night I picked up this whore and she gave me the most awsome time.... she even said she liked it so much she was going to leave me a 'case of crabs'! 5. I'm a creationist! It's a solid science... 6. Let's run off to Vegas and get married tomorrow... I know this one place where we could get a repeat customer discount. 7. Jesus loves you (said more than 30 times in the first 30 minutes) 8. My IQ is 87. Isn't that great? I didn't even study for the test and I passed! 9. I hate cats 10. I voted for Bush, I wish he could run again. 11. I don't see why you can't date 11 and 12 year old girls/boys... they are so sweet. 12. I want to break the record for most children born to one couple. Let's get started. 13. I love you. 14. Am I bieng punk'd? You must have undergone long hours in a makeup chair to look 'that' bad. Come on guys! 15. I'm trying to break the record for most women slept with. You'll be number 3,492.

I would bolt if she looked at me and asked "You don't mind that I have kids do you?"

callin me the N word

&quot;I have crabs"

Are you busy tomorrow? Could you drive me to Mexico to get my abortion.

I had a sex change operation.

I have herpes.

So I was saying to my mum about you..... (noooooo, not on a first date!!!)

My wife LOVES the food here.

&quot;I'm sorry, my underwater marmoset colony was overthrown."

u want to go Dutch?

Anything racist or violent would be it for me.

Want to go back to my place ;)

Are you the marrying type? ;)

How do you feel about 3-ways?!

&quot;Did you see me last night on America's Most Wanted?"

Mind if my five children join us?

I want to become a woman some day. I'm on done with the first operation so far.

My ex looks a lot like you.

&quot;my mum will meet us there." i'd run to the hills...haha

You ain't got AIDS do ya? Cause I'd hate to get that AIDS again!

She comes to the door with another guy and says "Hi, This is Bill. Don't worry, He just likes to watch."

&quot;I want a meaningful relationship" gets me running everytime.

my mother want to watch us make out,okay?

When I would tell him something that I think or feel and he answers: "oh! It is all in your head!"

i have AIDS

&quot;I'm only interested in you physically. I could care less about you otherwise." / "So now that you're here, do you want to go to the bedroom? ;)"

I LOVE YOU!!

&quot;You like my coat? It's made from human skin."

I think I just peed on myself a little.

Talk about their wife in the present tense.

&quot;Have you met my sister/cousin?"

My kids can't wait to call you mom.

I think the only thing that would make me bolt would be if he told me he had murdered someone or done time. I dont know how many guys would bring that up on the first date but other than that I think it would take a fairly closed minded person to feel you needed to run away that fast over some words. To each their own though.

If he starts discussing marriage, what he wants to name his children, etc., then I'm gone. For goodness sakes, it's a first date!