ANSWERS: 18
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If it was truly constant then I'd feel depressed and insulted, personally. :((
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like pulling his balls off
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It's good that we have and have had good times we can remember but I also think we need to use some discretion when talking to our s/o's about our past relationships. We all want to feel special. It's hard to do when all your s/o has to talk about is their previous relationship and how great it was. If my s/o doesn't ask, I don't tell. If asked though she would get an honest answer.
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I would feel like asking him why he talked about his ex so much? And if he really thought that was appropriate? Explain how it made me feel and ask him to stop. Talking about the ex once in awhile, hey they were a part of your past, you have memories, good and bad. So bound to come up once in awhile, but constantly. Yea, I'd have questions as to why? Could just be not thinking about what he's saying. Anger he feels for that person. But would be asking. (but done with love not anger).
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Sounds as if he's trying to get your goat--and succeeding. What would happen if you agreed with him? The next time he mentions his ex, mention one of yours (even if imaginary). "Ohh, ya, I know what you mean. My ex, Jimmy, had a huge $xxxx&. I've never had better sex! I really miss his $xxxx&." If your s/o replies, "Why don't you see him again?" you can reply, "What makes you think I'm not?"
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Tell her " SHUT UP"
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"Unattached"
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The way I look at it, if someone has had a lot of experiences with an ex over an extended period....in my case decades, conversations about what you have done, where you have vacationed, nice restaurants you have been to, etc. those topics will arise. The new s/o needs to trust the new partner and realize he/she no longer loves that person(ex). However, there is no need not to love and cherish the memories of the past. That is a part of you. Jealousy should not exist in a relationship. I answered a question earlier today on AB where the person asked if you were concerned if your ex hooked up with another. My answer is I don't know and I don't care. Simple as that. But that does not mean I forget about past experiences.
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I've never really had that problem, but once my FIL made a mention of how good an apple pie was that a girl my husband knew briefly. He never said anything about it. But that got me to try to make the BEST apple pie in the world, every time I made one, it had to be better than the last one. LOL!!!! My husband didn't tell me until maybe 15 years later that he had never liked her pie but he didn't want me to stop making great pie LOL!!!!
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..very uncomfortable, but being direct and to the point I guess I would ask..."do you prefer those times or the ones we are sharing now?"...see how he reacted..
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I'd feel like breaking up.
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I would tell him to shut up. That if the good old days with the ex were so good then he would still be with her.
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he wouldn't be significant he would just be an Other
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I would feel unappreciated and feel like my bf was ungrateful for the good things that I tried to show to him. And I would dump his lame ass. However, if I was the one who asked about the ex, it would be my fault for going there in the first place.
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If the comment was an off-the-cuff, one-off one, I would think nothing of it, but to constantly mention it is a sign of someone who's hurting and trying to hurt you in return. There are many people who do not cope with anger, rejection etc very well and so use inappropriate ways to express that emotion. It's like a small child grabbing his mum's skirt, yelling "look at me!".You need to confront this emotion directly and find out what is underlying it. There is a major issue here. You don't indirectly reject people like this for a long period of time unless there is something deeply troubling you.
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Like taking a lover....
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I would (if I were a female) take my life into my own hands and talk about mine. He would either shut up or you would cop a hellava lot of abuse. That would be the time to cop it, or go for it.
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I would laugh my butt off. I have met some of his ex's, good times, yeah right.
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