I found out my boyfriend of five years is having a baby with someone else. This is the second time he's cheated. He believes we can still work our relationship out, but I don't know. What do you think?
by 
chessy
ANSWERS: 46
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dump the chump
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I am all in favour of giving people second chances. But having a bayby with someone else is way, way over the limit for even the most tolerant person. Dump him - now. And find someone better - which should not be hard.
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I'm all for second chances, but I think this shows you would have been right if you had dumped him the first time.
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Never give him another chance.
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Do you have an automobile? if there is enough gasoline in it, then why are you still there, with the cheater of the century? pack your bags, place in car, start the engine and get the heck out of his life. You have no one to blame, but yourself, for staying with this cheater. Some people love to be punished in the love department. you, apparently are one of these people. On your way out the door, be sure to leave a dear john letter to your boyfriend. Or, are you staying for more disrespect?
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every one makes mistakes however this is the same mistake he made last time isn't it?. does he not love you enough to stop having SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE? girl, i would not want to be with some one who dosent love me enough to be faithful! that shows you how little he really feels about you ! id want a real relationship with someone real not some-one i don t feel i can trust (well thats how i feel)
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"Your boyfriend of five years". That sends up a red flag to me. (I have been married for 29 years). Shouldn't there be a "statute of limitations" or something on a guy who will date a girl for five years or much longer, and never ask her to marry him? I am not one for quickly jumping into marrige, but if you are going to have a longterm relationship, a healthy marrige is a better alternative. Now he is cheating on you ( for how long) and has the commitment of caring for a child. I am not questioning your feelings for this man, perhaps he has some very fine qualities. You may still love him and have feelings for him for quite awhile. However, your answer does not lie within his future actions, or in the minds and hearts of the AnswerBag members. The answers as to what course you will choose lie within you. You need to grow as a person and to set some standards as to what treatment you are worthy of and to discern if you are being treated as you wish and as to if your needs are being met. I might be a man but I have two grown daughters. It is my opinion that you deserve better than what you are getting.
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My boyfriend has a guy's perspective on this . . . . he said that if a guy cheat on you, they will do it again. My opinion, dump him. He doesn't deserve you.
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i believe that in five years he should know what he wants by now with you, if he has to cheat he obviously is not ready to have a commitment to you, and does not deserve you if he cannot be faithful to you. No one deserves to be cheated on if they are good individuals who are in a relationship for the long run. IF he is insecure with himself and what he wants then he should not have the best of both worlds, its not fair to you or the other girl. There are alot of guys out there that will love, honor, and reat you right move n and kick him to the curb. He doesnt deserve he oppurtunity to make things right if hes cheating on you and having someones elses child and has you on the sidelines. I feel sorri for he child that is going to be brought into this world with a father who cant keep his pants on and stay true to one woman. Lots of luck.
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GET OUT NOW!!!!!
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Hell to the No. Trust me when I say, once a cheater - always a cheater... Women need to learn from Ms. Spears...just because you are the "new" woman of the season, doesn't mean the man won't do the same thing to you that he did to the last one.. IT NEVER FAILS
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i reckon he has cheated alot more than twice and you would be silly not to realise, is he sleeping with the same person or different people? whichever it is i hope you use protection with him, god only knows what he's got. not only that but women generally only have about a 20% chance of becoming pregnant each month and thats if they have sex at the 'right time' of the month, so 80% chance of not gettin pregnant, either your bf is puttin it about like mad or he's pretty unlucky
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After you found out he cheated the first time you should have left then. Once a cheater...always a cheater.
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If you stay with that loser, that baby's mama is going to be a part of your relationship, so you will never have his undivided attention. Get out and thank God you aren't pregnant with his baby!
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If you keep working on this relationship, you may find later that you're paying child support for his baby. What I'm saying is that 'working on this relationship' is illogical, and how much more ridiculous could it get if you don't start drawing the line. The fact that you are asking this question at all indicates somewhat that you have been getting walked on and this guy will keep using you as a doormat if you don't put an end to it. I wonder if he's only cheated on you twice???!! It could very well be more.
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leave his ass high and dry.It's one thing to cheat but have a baby is a low blow,get out while you don't have any children.It's to many good men to settle for one that doesn't respect you or love you.You should rather hurt a little now than hurt a lot later when the same shit happens again.
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Who cares what he thinks? He should be grovelling and begging for forgiveness! Once, and I think there's occasionally a chance, but twice... RUN LIKE HELL!!!!!
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I think you should get out,I know you love him but you deserve to be treated with resepct and he is already doing that. get out now.
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neither you should look into there relationship and see if it is serious and if it really isnt tell him how you feel
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If he's done it more than one...maybe you should leave him.. Boyfriends come and go.
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No way - that is absolute crap - he is a seriously irresponsible and inconsiderate person to have created this situation and if i was you i would not be able to get away fast enough from what i believe is a one way trip to heartache and misery. You deserve better - so go find it !
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Honey please leave him! By staying with someone who would do something like this to you, not only once but obviously more times than you, you are only degrading yourself! There is someone out there that will treat you like the amazing person you are, and there is no reason to stay in a relationship with someone who can't do that for you. End it. Now.
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Omg you poor thing,thats terrible!!!!Its so hard for you,i guess you love him which makes things difficult but in the long run your hurting now,just hurt a little longer without him and find a new man,this one does not deserve your forgiveness this time :(
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He's good. He has you completely fooled for evening listening to his crap. Cut your losses while you can, and preserve a little dignity for yourself.
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Dump him now, before he's paying child support to who knows how many other women. He has violated your trust. This issue will never be resolved.
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move on sister. you don't need a man like that. Leave him with the one he decided to have a baby with. She will have to deal with the bull.... on her own.
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Dump him and move along. You deserve an opportunity to be happy; obviously it will not be with him...
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I think if you remain in a relationship with him you will continue to be as mistreated in the future as you have been in the past. I think you are worth so much more than that and i hope you find the strength, courage and common sense to overcome your emotional attachment to him.
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save yourself tears and frustration save yourself from depression and the humilation of having everyone look at you with disbelief and pity youre young beautiful and worth a helluva lot more!! find someone new AND BURN HIS STUFF~! my hubbie cheated online and the pain was immense but to impregnate another woman on his 2nd chance thats just so low.... woman be strong! kick him out! nows hes got to raise his child god only knows how THAT will work out!you did youre best you gave him a 2 chance thats all you needed to do....
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What do you think?! I'd get rid of him!
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Get out and don't look back. I don't understand why you didn't leave the first time he cheated. You deserve better than someone who has proven himself at least 2 times that you know of as incapable of keeping it in his pants except for you. Do you need a brick building to fall on you to see he is a creep and is not worthy of your love. It won't be easy exspecially if you have kids with this jerk but it is soo well worth it in the end when you look back and see how much better off your life is without that ass in it. Good luck and let me know if I can help in any way I was in your place a few years back so I know what I am talking about.
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I think he's delusional and thinks he's "all that." He is not. Get out of this 'relationship' and find someone who will respect you - this idiot doesn't.
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Get out now before its to late! He's no good & he will keep doing it if you stay with him, by staying that says its o.K to treat me like a doormat. You could end up parenting that child because you never know what the future holds & others down the road as he can't use protection. You are at risk of STDs. If you know hes cheated twice, how many times has he really done it? Respect yourself & leave you'll be much happier and there r decent guys out there. You need to work on your self esteem, gets some books from the library and you'll never let a man treat u like this again.
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Iv'e been through exactly the same situation. My boyfriend didn't even tell me about the baby. I found an e-mail when the b*%@h was in her eighth month of pregnancy. He had been taking her for scans behind my back and everything. I loved him and forgave him and tried to make the relationship work for another eight months. He said he didn't want anything to do with the baby. But although I could forgive, this was not something I could forget as I knew the kid would turn up on our doorstep in 18 years time looking for him. That's the reason I had to let him go.
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Cheating AND having children with other women? He apparently isn't even responsible enough to use protection. He isn't responsible enough to BE in a loving honest relationship with integrity and loyalty, or respectful of you. This behavior will never end, neither will his strings to these women or child.
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WHAT!!?? Five years, and he cheats WITHOUT protection?? Sweetheart, you're lucky you found out about a positive pregnancy test and not a positive HIV test! You should definitely leave this guy. He's proven himself more than unworthy.
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No, you can't work it out. If he got someone pregnant he obviously wasn't putting the condom on or if he did, it wasn't done right. Imagine getting herpes, chlamydia, AIDS, or any other STD. Go look up images of that online and then rethink being with a man who cheated. He will cheat again, believe me. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
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What the h*** were you thinking taking him back the first time? Are you completely unaware that you teach him cheating on you is okay when you did that? What you need to do is get a f***ing backbone and kick his worthless cheating a** out of your life. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If he cheated once, or in your case twice that he's admitted to, he'll do it again. If he's admitted to twice, he's done it at least five times. But again, you teach people how to treat you so if you take hin back and he does it again, don't say I didn't warn you.
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I don't think this relationship is worth salvaging. You deserve better. Also keep in mind that your boyfriend is now at the very least, finacially responsible for a child. Do you really want to take that on???
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You might still be able to work out the relationship, but near the end of her pregnancy when he gets excited about having a baby, you wont be able to deal with that emotionally. Also, he might have to attend doctors appointments with her and he might want to watch her give birth.. all things you will have a hard time dealing with when it comes down too it. Especially since you don't have any chilren together already. Get out while you can. Trust me, I know all tihs from experience.
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Well, that depends. Do you think you deserve to be with somebody who will lie and fail to invest the same amount into your relationship that you do? I would imagine that if you are sane, the answer is no. Everybody deserves somebody who will treat them with respect and consideration. If he had any respect for you at all, or even if he cared about hurting you, he wouldn't be doing what he is. Save yourself from misery by moving on. Being faithful isn't that hard, you have done eit for five years.
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This sounds like a "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME" situation. It's up to you, but it may be time to consider dropping him, and finding someone who won't cheat, or lie to you. I usually advocate staying, if desired, if someone cheats once, but twice... :-P
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fooled you once, fooled you twice
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no WAY! move on girlie! frig that! you will be stronger without him. A leopard cant change its skin!
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Leave that POS alone right now. I do not know your age but obviously you are a bit on the insecure side to stay with a man like this. Go find you a real man and get on with your life and be happy as you truly deserve. Good Luck and God Bless. You are to valuable to be disrespected in such a way as this.
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congratulations Levi!
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