ANSWERS: 86
  • No, that's not going to do any good. Leave the jerk and live your own life--without him!
  • No. Revenge never really nets you anything lasting. Why not discuss with him how bad you feel, and ask him what (if anything) he plans to change in his behavior? This is a much more positive, and effective, way of addressing the problem. Best of luck!
  • If you are prepared to lose him, go ahead with your plan. This just may finish driving him away since he has already strayed.
  • If you are planning on breaking up with the guy I'd go ahead and throw something like this in his face just to give him a taste of what he did. If you have any shard of hope that the relationship can continue, talk it out instead.
  • No, thats not "getting back", thats being a bitch. Actually it's being a cunt, but I normally don't like using that word. He cheated on you, yes, it's a terrible act. However did he do it with the express idea of hurting you as you want to do to him? Even more important, do you want to sink to that level? Is your personal morality that flexible that you'll hook up with someone, film it, then show it to 'your man' just to cause pain to someone else? Glad I'm not with you, thats all I'm saying.
  • Why play games? Just leave him.
  • No. i know it hurts but just doing that you'll enter other problems such as the guy you make out with being your dorrmat and causeing more pain for others
  • Well, the important question to ask is, when you've calmed down in a few weeks or so how will it make you feel to know you did it? If you'd be fine with it, then go for it, but I'd think twice if you're not the sort of person to normally have one night stands.
  • Sounds like a lot of effort, I'd just leave him. I mean, if you do this then you'll walk over someone else in the process.
  • Be the bigger person. Don't go out of your way to get back at him, otherwise he'll feel justified in his lack of respect for you (ie, cheating).
  • just leave him, that will hurt more than playing games that will only result in some other person being hurt along with you. It's not worth it... bail on his azz.
  • I dont get it, you stay with him after he cheated on you, now you want to pay him back, why did you stay with him? Probably, "cause I love him", Right? You dont love him, if you want to hurt him, you like to play games with people and that is disgusting. Even if your little game plays out, you arent going to hurt him, like he did you, he didnt care about you, when he cheated on you, why would he care now?
  • sounds a bit childish to me.why stoop to his level.rise above it and be the better woman.
  • So he looks at the photos and tracks the innocent man down and beats him to death.The police come and take your hubby away.He goes to prison and is gang raped by a big guy named Bubba and his buddies. He spends 8 years before getting out on probation and moves back home where he is now bisexual bringing hairy biker looking gay men home to sex it up in your bed. I know a bunch of nothing but this I know; If someone cheated on me means they do not have respect for me or my feelings. the love I thought they had was nothing but a lie. The respect I have for them vanishes and I would be trying to find why the hell I am still with them. Forgive him and he soon realizes he can pretty much do whatever he wants and all your gonna do is cry about it and take him back. Personally you are worth more than that drama and too good for Mr. can't keep it in his pants. You deserve better. I kick his cheating ass to the curb.
  • No. What's the point? Do you really want to feel guilty over something so stupid?
  • Just kick him into touch and be done with it. There's no need to play games, just get out.
  • What are you a child? You want to fix things up or do you want to break up? If you want to break up--just do so. If you want to fix things up then talk to him about it; maybe go to a councilor. But trying to "teach him a lesson," is right out of the schoolyard book.
  • You're asking something like this in the "relationship basics"-category? This is "Teenagers"-stuff. Let's break this up into parts here, and analyze the situation, and you'll actually realize what you're doing. Your boyfriend cheated on you and you feel bitter about it. No biggie, that's what cheating usually does. Creates bitterness and anger - everybody knows that. The thing is, it's your responsibility not to go and mess up like he did! And actually, by what you're planning on doing, you wouldn't even achieve your goal. Let me tell you why: Why do you think he cheated on you? Guys who love their girlfriends can't cheat - it's a fact. So there must be something going on with his interest in you, and that something is nothing else than that interest vanishing from existence. So you actually ought to ask yourself: "What did(n't) I do that destroyed his interest?" and ponder how you could've done better, because actually, it hasn't been anyone else but you to have caused the withdrawal of his interest. Of course this doesn't justify cheating, nothing does, but if you don't learn from this, you're going to make the same mistakes over and over again - and keep on ending up in this same situation. What you want to do here is to ignore the guy and leave him. Your relationship is over. Face it, live with it and get on with your life. There's nothing for you there anymore! And suppose you go and cheat on him - unless you already have a history with cheating, let me tell you, it's not a nice weight to have on your shoulders - to know that you have cheated. Suppose your next boyfriend asks you if you've ever cheated when you date, and of course you wouldn't lie to him, and he makes sure that there will never be another date? So much for the greatness of that plan. Many men won't even go on a date with girls who've cheated. There's nothing to reassure them about her not doing it again. So when you're thinking about what to do, you will know what the right thing is. Hoping for your sake that you choose it.
  • Ask yourself how YOU will feel after you have done that. His feelings shouldn't be your priority at this point yo...
  • ITS HIS PROBLEM AND HIS LOSS IF YOU CHUCK HIM. FIND A BETTER ONE THERES LOTS OUT THERE. REVENGE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU FEEL CHEAP AND USED. IF HE IS A CHEAT AND YOU ARE NOT THERN SURELY THAT MAKES YOU THE BETTER PERSON. FIND A NICE GUY AND LET YOUR EX REALISE WHAT HE HAS LOST.
  • Two wrong don't make a right. Be the better person, you will feel better in the end!
  • By taking him back, you've already told him that it was ok he cheated. Obviously its not ok...and as with any relationship, when things aren't ok - whether it be cheating or leaving the toilet seat up - its time to leave. He wont feel your pain. You were hurt and left wondering what you lacked that made him do this. your self-esteem took a hit. His wont. He'll be hurt sure, but not like you were.
  • No. He cheated. You're stooping to his level if you do that. It will just spark anger and all sorts of negative feelings that you don't want to deal with.
  • *shrug* If you want to. But you shouldn't hookup with someone else out of vengeance, because it won't make you feel better, and you'll regret giving yourself to someone just to make someone else feel bad. It won't work. But if you find someone you actually would hook up with even if you WEREN'T doing it out of revenge, then whatever. You can or you can't and it won't really matter. But if you do it just so that he feels it too, he'll get the message, but you won't feel better.
  • But it won't have that affect and you won't feel any better either. Besides which, by the time you get to where ever you are going, you'll no more feel like doing that than you'll feel like chopping off an arm and if you force yourself, you'll hate every second of it. Don't stoop to his level, be better than that. Don't be spiteful, rise above that. Revenge is a dish best served cold and correct me if I am wrong, but you are cold enough right now. Do go out dancing, it will provide you with some much needed distraction at least for a while (even if the night isn't as much fun as it could be). Make yourself go - you don't have to be the life and soul of the party and it beats sitting indoors thinking of nothing else. Whatever else you may feel you have lost, keep your dignity intact and treat yourself better than you have been treated.
  • Yeah! Go cheat on him with some stranger! Don't use a condom either. Oooohoho this is going to be SO good! Get a VD in the process--do it, do it! Then you can pass it on to your boyfriend and that'll show HIM! Revenge is sweet. Uh...NOT! Just break up with him.
  • Just dump him.Revenge makes a person look pathetic.
  • Nope... "Two wrongs don't make a right". Hurting or not, it does nothing but make things even worse if you stoop to that level and do the same thing. Besides, it simply makes YOU seem bad. Your lack of desire for a time will be enough of a wake-up call, and then forcing him to be tested for STDs and HIV before you WILL, will be embarrassing and hurtful enough. AND, if you simply leave, he'll DEFINITELY get the hint that you were hurt BAD, right?
  • He messed up no doubt about that but either forgive him or just end it. If you just go hook up with some random guy sure he'll probably be upset that you did but what are you going to think of yourself after word. You'll be worse than him because it was never his intention to hurt you, and living with that isn't something you want to do. He made his mistake you don't need to retaliate with one of your own.
  • If he had feelings he wouldnt have done it...therefore he wont have feelings about you doing it. Kick him to the curb
  • Don't stoop to his level, and think revenge is the answer. That would be so immature of you. Move on, and find someone better. Don't send him anything, because that proves that you're still thinking of him. Don't even give him that satisfaction. Completley wipe him from your thoughts, and life.
  • When someone cheats on us it makes us hurt. We feel betrayed. Sometimes our first instinct is to get the person back, make them feel how we do (revenge). Although right now it may seem like a good idea, why do something you normally wouldn't do? If you did not have a boyfriend and wasn't feeling any of this pain, would you go out dancing and make out with some guy you just met? Don't lower your standards to get someone back. The best revenge isn't paying a person back, it's living a life where we are happy. Not only will you feel good about yourself, but you'll show your boyfriend you don't need him to have a happy life. If he wants to cheat you can move on AND still be happy. If he wants to join your life and be happy with you then the cheating has to stop now. (That is if you are willing to continue dating him now that he has cheated.) Think of it this way, everyone knows when we are cheated on we feel betrayed and we feel a lot of pain. Those of us who can keep their head high and go on living a happy life will show others that no matter what we can and will be happy. I know the pain you are in, my I guess now exbf cheated on me. I think these 2 quotes will help you: Katespana wrote on my question about getting over a guy who pretended to be someone he is not: "Secondly, it may help to realize that this person was a projection of your own good qualities, that you were in love with parts of yourself. Claim yourself back and love yourself then you'll be free. Good luck." Bless her, she saved me from insanity that day. I read it and reread it and I felt that yes I have some inside knowledge of what happened and yes some day I can reclaim my life. I don't even think she realizes what one answer to a question asked by someone in complete and utter desperation meant. I think you too can benefit from what she said. Secondly Mahatma Gandhi said the following (and I try to remember it every time I cry or feel like I was a fool for not seeing the signs. "Nobody can hurt me without my permission."
  • no need to go to his level...you will not feel good about yourself then. just dump him and move on the best pain you can give him.
  • Two wrongs do not make a right. This will only add to the strain of your relationship. Once you both complete this, your respect for each other, will never be the same. Might as well "chuck it all".
  • If you need to get even, you obviously haven't forgiven him. Yo doing this will only make things worse, and there will be a mutual disdain. The relationship will become unbearable. If you can't forgive him, don't stoop to his pathetic level and just ditch the tosser.
  • If you want revenge, then you still love him and have not moved on. If you love him, then you don't want to cheat on him. He doesn't love you if he is cheating on you. Sadly, you love him and he doesn't love you. You should find another man or you have to make him fall in love with you. TIP: You know what they say, "the way to a man's heart is his stomach." Cook him some pancakes every morning before he goes to work.
  • So you're one upping him and not only cheating, but rubbing it in his face????? NOT nice. If you're that hurt by what he did (which you should be,) you should break up with him. Trust me, nothing is more poignant like "I don't want to be with you anymore." ALSO, you won't have to go all immoral if you have a conscience.
  • dude it will prob make you feel worse, two wrong don't make a right.
  • No, you are just stooping to his level and will ruin any chance of you getting together to talk about what and why it happened (with him cheating). Cheating relationships can be saved. I would leave him alone...I would ignore and I mean IGNORE any message of any type that comes to you, text, e mail, phon call, letter, let him experience life without you for a while...men hate this!!! TRUST ME!
  • its not worth it hunny ive been betrayed but wouldnt want to inflict that pain on my spouse knowingly, he probably done it not realising how it would hurt you. if you get revenge you would know the pain you would cause, thats probably worse. i understand how you feel believe me but dont do it.
  • Don't do that, it just brings you down to his level, if you did that he would feel more justified in what he did to you.
  • don't do it. when he sees it he'll use it as an excuse saying, "these are her true colors all along, if i hadn't cheated on her i wouldn't have realized how slutty she is behind my back." he'll even spread it around his circle of friends and it will eventually get back to you. if you really want to make him feel hurt go dancing, have the time of your life and brag about how much fun it was the next day. break up with him now.. keep in touch with him. find another boyfriend who respects you.. when your ex asks you how you're doing that's when you tell him that you've found the most amazing guy who treats you like a princess and is always considerate with you. if he truly cared for you ,this would break his heart. this is what i did to my ex.. and he felt utterly heartbroken. and i'm so blessed to have found a man who respects me and is considerate and always thinks about others before himself. i love him to death.
  • Not worth it and it would only be using the other man, which isn't very nice. Just pull the pin on the relationship (which is probably just about moribund anyway) and take time out for yourself to heal the wounds properly.
  • your unbelievable..i know it hurts..but if you lower yourself down to that then you are worse than him..you wanna hurt him? leave him..and tell him you could never do to him what he did to you..because you are that much better
  • Don't fall to his level. Has he apologized? If you can't forgive and move forward in the relationship - then it's best to break-up and move on.
  • Dump him, drop him, boot his a** out of your life. You deserve better. You know what he did is unforgiveable. Don't be a female him..be your true self. Move on. He had you..he blew it..let him deal with it! :) Good luck! :)
  • brilliant idea, hey, why not pick a random guy and videotape yourselves screwing for him to see. (sarcasms) seriously, making him feel the pain you feel is petty and vengeful, but even if you are ok with that you are not going to inflict pain on him, you are just going to make yourself feel stupid and more pain. just dump him and forget about him.
  • you need to get out of this realtionship. your anger is making you want to do things that are not nice, you will end up regretting it for the rest of your life. if you cant trust him, or have this much anger that you would even consider cheating,then its just not meant to be sorry x
  • If you do this then he will feel like you're even and there's no need for him to feel bad anymore. To really make him suffer, leave him. That way he'll regret it forever.
  • step #1: dump this loser. EL PRONTO. once a cheater, always a cheater. always, always, always. step #2: ignore him, forget about him, if someone brings him up, say "who?" step #3: go forward with your new lesson learned into the world and look for a nicer guy.(they DO exist) (the photo thing is a bad idea: 2 wrongs do NOT make a right)
  • Here's an idea: Break up with him. Now, for anyone wishing to have their minds sufficiently blown out of their ass at rapid fire speed....go to this blog. http://monkeymind19.blogspot.com/
  • Do you really want to continue "emotional monopoly"... you two are just playing games with eachother and if you get him back then he will get you back and it will become the merry go round from hell. The number one deal breaker in a relationship for me is infidelity and if you stay with him this will give him the idea that its ok that he cheats. Leave him now and just let it be done. Theres no since in waisting your time with someone who is willing to cheat on you... thats what I would reccomend!! fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me
  • The logical, healthy and more evolved move would be to move on rather than playing head games. How "bad" it hurts to you may be one thing- Your action may have little or no effect on him. We each make a CHOICE as to how bad something hurts. When you learn that NO ONE can MAKE you feel any certain way, that it is entirely up to you, then you will be on your way to personal growth.
  • I think it's an awesome idea, and they could make a song about it if they haven't already. Make sure the guy is hotter than your boyfriend too. Well dressed, and older would be hot :) So you're not taking the "mature" stance on all this. SO WHAT. life is too short, and it would make an awesome story. GO FOR IT!!!!
  • can someone say psychopath? my boyfriend hurt me... i want to hurt him... but i dont want to leave the relationship... sounds solid to me. You want to hurt him? move on and be happy in your life, theres nothing that will sting him more.
  • This is pretty high drama don't you think? I say you just take a sledgehammer to your man's head when he looks the other way. That way you don't have to involve innocent parties in your scheme.
  • Most of us have experienced being hurt by someone we love. It's never a good feeling, and when cheated on, it's very difficult to trust again. First, if you want to really have your relationship work, you cannot want to hurt him or disrespect him. Second, you would be just as bad as he was. While he was wrong in cheating on you, it would be wrong of you to cheat on him to get even. Third, if you love him, try to forgive AND forget.
  • Yes that is a nice way to win him back!....it is worth a try!
  • I think that's a rather petty and childish response, personally. And if he lost enough interest in you to cheat, what makes you think he's even going to care?
  • Do two wrongs make a right? Be mature! I would just tell him goodbye and start dating another hot guy.
  • What purpose does it serve to try to make your man jealous? Why lower yourself to his level? I'd never look back. Living well is the best revenge. When you can walk on your own without this tool in your life and be happy. He'll eventually regret it. Most guys do.
  • I dont think you should do that ;S its better to just let it be. Its his loss for not cherishing u for who u are right? hes not worth it, just get another guy who deserves u
  • I think that would be a bad idea. You are just lowering yourself to his level. Prove that you are better than him by not reacting that way. Good luck. :-}}
  • Two wrongs do not make a right. U would just piss him off and push him towards another girl. soon the relationship will become "who can outcheat the other".
  • If you do this,you will only hurt yourself in the end, by way of self esteem. I did it years ago with my first husband when he cheated, and I still regret it. His cheating I could handle differently than my own. We tend to be harder on ourselves when we pass judgement, than on others. I agree that the best thing would be to move forward, and be happy and positive. That is the best revenge. He will see that and regret what he did, which resulted in losing you.
  • Sure...go ahead and sink to his level.
  • My first rule in life is to NEVER do anything as a direct result of something someone else did to me that prompted it. If it is in your nature, to just go find some random guy and make out with him... Then there is no harm no foul, but if it is against everything you are, if you do that as revenge against someone else, you will only serve to filthy your own aura and body and spirit in the end and if you think about it, do YOURSELF twice as dirty as he first did you on his own. You therefore serve HIS purpose for wanting to hurt you, more than your own for wanting to "get revenge" Revenge is an ugly thing created inside people that allow themselves to become ugly because of someone elses stupidity. Be who and what you are proud and secure and feel no need for that kind of shit... and you'll be much happier and healthier indivisual in the end. Screw HIM!
  • don't do it!it won't change the fact that he chaeted on you will it?if you want him to feel your pain then leave him, if you really wanna continue this relationship then move on and let the past stay in the past, just show him wat he could of been loosing, by being absolutely over the top, in the bedroom, doing household duties, being extra sweet to him etc. Do it for a good two weeks then he'll realize wat he could of lost....and hopefully he won't do it again.Don't continue to let him see how bad it hurt you either...show him the stronger side of you.Good Luck Babes!
  • Being vindictive never fixes anything. I hurt you then you hurt me etc never works it just creates more grief and drama. Whats best is to just move on. Trust me!!
  • DO IT HE DESERVES IT!!!
  • No don't do that he allready feels bad about what he has do. My man cheated on me and i cried for a minute but i got over it. Me and my man just had a child together and he was suppose to be waiting for me but he went to his other kids moms house and gave him a pill and it made him real sleepy and they ended up having sex but its cool. I forgave him and i still love him.
  • Being the bigger person is never easy, but the rash and impulsive decisions made out of emotion are usually the ones you regret the most.
  • You should just break up with him and stay away from him so you can get on with your life.
  • Honey that will only end up making you feel worse the next day. Remember that you are the bigger person. You shouldn't have to tolerate that kind of behaviour, you deserve to be treated like a queen.
  • No! That's just stupid game playing. If you want to stay with the relationship, then take positive, measurable steps to make it stronger. If you don't want it, break it off and walk away.
  • I would sleep with someone else too if I were you. Once a man cheats (like my scumbag boyfriend did) chances are he'll reoffend!!!! Get your own back girl, hit him where it hurts!!!!
  • You need counseling to improve your self esteem. If you do not have respect for yourself then how do you think you will find a person to respect you that you will respect? Why would anyone take a picture of themselves and a person to end up on an internet site for all to see including family and friends!
  • i bet you'll feel so much better! oh wait no, you'll be just like him.
  • It would'nt be the same pain for him. You would only be kissing this guy for revenge. So this shows its still about your BF!! Don't give him the attention. Don't make him a priority anymore. This could be far more damaging.
  • Sounds pretty much the same as the one he did to you. And it sounds too clear a revenge to me, no doubt. Do you think you can get back at him by doing that? That's only what you think because you are in the fit of your emotion. It's understandable that you feel very hurt because of this incident. But it isn't good mirroring the one he did. Doing that sounds childish - you hit me, I hit you also. The thing is your guy had fallen short. He may have some issues concerning this matter, regarding commitment and being true to his word. He needs help on this. If you do what you said above, you'd be leveling yourself on the same shoes as he is. A person who has a healthy opinion of herself will stand out in this kind of situation, and would not let the situation dictate her decision. Remember, you are your decision. Don't make a move that will be to your regret later. Think about your options. A person who is in the fit of her emotions, who is in the midst of a heavy problem, will be more likely be blinded of other alternative actions. I know you can make it!
  • I understand the hurt and pain you're feeling, but lowering yourself to take revenge isn't the solution. You're only degrading yourself. Let say if you really did that and your husband found out, then he would think "oh, since she did that I can do it too," I know there are many unfair and ridiculous guys out there, if you still love your husband, try to work it out with him in the right away. If you feel that you can't, then divorce him.
  • ahh nooo, thats immature and dont take it in a bad way. I have thought of that too...but that wont fix anything. Your better off pretending your innocent and your perfect and if it makes you feel better inside to know your playing him like he played you then go do it....BUT NEVER GET CAUGHT!!! cuz even if he did it to you, you will always look like the bad one. So be the perfect angel he thinks you are and thats it. If you wanna cheat for revenge do it for yourself, has horrible as that sounds it makes more sense if you really think about it. Good luck!
  • My questions is. Why do you want him back if he cheats on you? You are trying to win back someone that does not care about you. Why? Give someone that will truly love you a chance. Monsterette.com - Women's training camp! Read, Ask and learn about men from real ex-players across the country.
  • Not all people would be hurt by cheating - if he cheats, then he may not see it as a hurtful thing. He might be more hurt if you told him that you were surprised that he was able to cheat, as you didn't think he could keep it up long enough *wink*
  • One of my friends tried to get back at her cheating boyfriend... she ended up getting pregnant and was left with no man to support her.
  • You should break up with him. If you think revenge will fix your problems, then nothing can fix your relationship.

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