What's the most random weapon you could use to protect yourself? (no guns, knifes, swords etc).
by 
Cyndi Ninja
ANSWERS: 100
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I could beat them with my "Christmas Story" leg lamp! It would be a major prize for them!
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A nice solid pen will poke a muthaf'er up real good:)
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Pretty much everything can be used. I would say the most random thing I have used would be a lit cigarette.
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My mouth...I would scream loud and long.
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Knitting needles!
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I own a lovely poison ring. . .no poison though, so that's out. The fire extinguisher in my car. That scared a would be parking lot perv off quite nicely. Heavy and fizzy! OK, now I really am going to bed. . .
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Toliet brush... One with really stiff bristles so when you hit people with them it breaks the skin a lil and it has poo on it so they get sick.
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fireplace poker
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Chilli powder!
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Your elbow, you always have it with you... :-)
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A 24 ounce framing hammer would do the trick. A large pipe wrench would also do nicely .
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the electric guitar sitting next to me, i'm sure it could do some damage.
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A book. I saw Jason Bourne kick a guy's butt with a book.
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I have a shard of lance from a jousting competition sitting next to me. If there are any Vampyres about, I've got my stake handy. ^_^
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Pubic hair.
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OK so I don't carry a sword, and my primary and secondary weapons have been ruled irrelevant, I'll just have to use my brain.
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Random aye?, hmmmm.... What if my 'weapon' is a 7 foot long monster of the depths? I'd be like "I want you to meet a little friend of mine" *splash* and in he goes into the tank..
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$ way lug wrench
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My butt after a visit to Taco Bell.
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well, when me and my bro were younger and we used to get in fights, the first thing I would reach for was the broom. It worked miracles
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... random ... what ever is within reach, from a handfull of dust to torn fragments of your attacker's clothing ... including grabbing one guy and tossing him as a weapon into another guy ... I have a sort of personal preference for my custom made combat quality wooden cane as MY self defense weapon of choice ... http://www.canemasters.com/ ... or like "OORAH" says, elbows ... or other body parts, just because you have them with you ... There is an old saying, "There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who DO choose to study, practice, and perfect a martial art, thereby becoming a living weapon ... and those who choose NOT to, thereby becoming living targets."
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Screwdriver? Soldering iron? Heck, just slam your computer monitor over his head and electrocute him. [mine is old school.]
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One pissed off pussycat.
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Your penis. Just pee in your enemies direction and they'll run away.
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I don't think this is really random but I keep a Louisville Slugger at my bedside just in case.
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Teeth, I bite.
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A chopping board, or perhaps a car... If you happen to have one of those around
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Well, if I were near my dinner table, I could use chopsticks. Stick one in someone's eye or stab him in the midriff and he would be out of commission. The one's I use are made of teak wood and would be strong enough.
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A kitchen sink
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Hm...my glass candle jar...can slam it over their head...LOL.
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My keychain that I have around my neck. I have 3 keys on it, and I can hold one of them and sling the others around david and goliath style. What is more, my name is actually david, and while my height is average, I could be said to be short!
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my brains! ;-)
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A spork!! ok, it might now cause much damage against a person, but it would on food, just incase one day u find urself being attacked by a muffin.
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My boyfriends mean little Chihuahua! Seeing he'll attack me just for walking past him or climbing into bed I figure why won't he go after someone else?
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Maxwell Smart had a hot-iron duel in a Chinese laundry a cell phone? a well-thrown or well-swung bicycle could do some damage boomerangs and yo-yos started as weapons, rumor says paper cuts? a turkey baster, full of garlic juice?
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The electric cord that's plugged into my laptop. Just get it around the back of the throat and squeeze, If i or my girls were in harms way.
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my cat's scratching post...wood base with a thiegh high pillar in the center...grab the base make a blitz at the person and jam it into their gut
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a bowl of soup
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Gasoline and a match stick or lighter,better yet Kerosene. Also anything with weight such as a frying pan, salt shakers, chairs, even hard drives. Pencils, tooth picks, toothbrushes, pens, legs off of chairs, broom sticks, wire brush. You can use just about anything for a weapon, it is resolve that you must have to be successful.
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I always have a pen in my pocket. I was taught in the army about how much damage I could do with it. Especially the throat region.
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What the heck do you mean by "the most random weapon you could use to protect yourself?" By that definition, it's any weapon of opportunity, from your fingers to your toes and anything you can grab in time to be of use. If you can get in close without risking serious injury or death (like most unarmed combat against untrained street thugs), it's hard to beat jambing your thumbs into the eyes as deeply as you can. By this I mean burying your thumbs in the eye sockets. Works good if they are the strong arm type who like to grab and squeeze. Doesn't work against people trained to take you down, though. You'd never get the opportunity with a Marine. Noise is probably the best weapon you have outside physical combat. The louder you are, the more unwanted attention you draw, so if you have to fight, feel free to yell and scream with your efforts. Most crimes are crimes of opportunity. Take the opportunity away and you likely take the crime away. And while you're at it, BREAK something of the attackers'. Foot bones are especially fragile to a good stomping. Grab a finger (the pinky) and TWIST until it snaps.
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a paperclip =P
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COTTON CANDY! Stuff that shit in someones nose :) or eyes! :O
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One of my cats hates strangers. And he's not afraid. It's a cat I found outside while he was a premature kitten with almost no ears and I had to feed him with a little bottle and make him go to the bathroom. None of my cats are neutered or declawed, this one is a real hardcore I hate you all cat. Also, I have this huge ashtray right here, I would go all Xena style with it.
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My AIDS.
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nail clippers! i cant imagine how much it would hurt to get a nipple pinch from one a those
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I could seriously El Kabong somebody with one of my guitars! Their head would be ringing for days!
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uh....use my Wii remotes has nunchucks
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Im deadly with my Silicon Graphics solid impact graphic cards of doom.
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Chuck Norris
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You can make a spring powered projectile shooter from a common ball point pen. If you hit your assailant in the eye you could run while they held a hand to the wound, reciting the famous, "It's only fun until someone loses an..."
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I would use my keys... slide one or two between your fingers, take a swing at someone and you got a makeshift shank!!! lol I get a little crazy!!!
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I guess bow falls under "etc" fireplace poker chair stanchion just about any metal tool fire extinguisher iron metal pipe the attackers disembodied arm
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Toaster.
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A bra strap is excellent for choking.
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library card, bar of chocolate, 50p, mobile phone
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My cat - hates to be picked up, so I'd throw her at him - claws out, teeth bared - no chance!!! LOL =)) Serves him right... she doesn't trust the male of the species.. ;)
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stillettos. those things are violent, i'm telling you.
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As I have previously stated to another question- DON'T BRING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT !
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Whatever is in reaching distance from my hands, can and will be used as a weapon of defense in the case of any physical, personal attack on myself or my kids. And I might enjoy it just a bit too... Im probably more dangerous than any criminal might suspect to just size me up and look at me... *But I gotta work on that last bit...
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my two feet, I can egress quickly
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My sinster snarl....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Tube Sock Penguin Rubber Duckie Rubber Band Banjo Tissue Printer
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The wife
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My dogs...they'll lick the intruder to death:)
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I once used a propelling pencil
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THUMBS.use them to gouge out eyes
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a horshoe
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tube sock full or oranges, my ability to kick @$$ actually if you name it i could make it into a weapon.
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My laser pointer.
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a cat
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Frozen turkey. and hot gravy in a turkey baster. LOL
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Virtually anything can be used as a weapon. Even noodles have to be boiled in water.
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I would write all these answers down and use that paper to crush them
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vote for your smile on my computer screen
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We have a large floor fan..I could really whack someone with the fan portion while flinging it back and forth by the base.."death by fan"..whatta concept! Happy Sunday! :)
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my two great big dogs, 45 lbs each
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a taco shell
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spork
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newspaper can break bricks, a magazine can cut a throat.
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A small lathargic monkey who is a master of Spork-fu!
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I could start poking people with waffles :D
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my fav is this walking stick I have behind the cab of my Pick up (what???? it's just a stick officer) It's 5' long and made of some really heavy wood with knobs all over it
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A steel tipped golf umbrella.
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aside from riddicks teacup and spam key, panasonic tough book has got to be one of the best weapons allowed through security no questions asked.
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A Vibrating Dildo, might scare off some guys with just the sight of it. The happy ones I'll want to beat up. Chicks: shove it in their mouth and make them gag to death, the toothbrush makes me gag so that should work.
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does this count as a sword? hahahah I dunno about how much damage it might do other than blunt force trauma but it sure would strike terror in me if someone came at me with one of these things! http://www.mojogarden.com/images/view.aspx?imageUrl=/ProductImages/docjohnson/DJ026601.jpg
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hmmmmmmmmm a book.. a hardcover ofcourse. the hardness to smack down and the pages to make nice fine cuts..haha
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A motherboard. Yeah. A computer motherboard. The bottom side with all the little solder connections. Just about any computer component really.
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toilet paper...... my buddy can make a rope so strong it can be used as a noose
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a flashlight
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Ted Nugent.
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My stealth and wisdom.
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Second hand smoke.
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a broken beer bottle.
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A PICTURE OF THE UGLIEST PERSON ON EARTH. OR MY GRANDPA TALKING about his old days. sorry for caps.
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a zucchini, if done properly...
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a dead baby
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A CD or DVD. After snapping it in half I could use the jagged sharp edges to cut with.
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My pinky toe...Oh yeah.
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