ANSWERS: 45
  • Yes, you are stupid....in many ways. first, 14 is too young to be having sex, period. second, having sex with an 18 year old, can be considered child rape, in many states. he is an adult and you are a minor. three, how old is his other girlfriend? also, under age? i only hope someone connected to you, reads your question and this answer.
  • What kind of question is this? Obviously. First of all, you're 14. Second of all, this guy is 18 and by the context of your question you make it sound like you KNOW this 18 y/o had a g/f. That is the same thing as encouraging somebody to cheat on somebody else. How would you feel if you were that guy's girlfriend? You'd probably feel cheap and used! So.. in other words, the answer is yes. There is no other way to answer this question other than to be bluntly honest. I was 14 once, too, and it doesn't even take a genius at the age of 14 to know that. Fourteen year olds are NOT that naive.
  • Yep. But I bet you already knew that. No matter how mature you think you are, 14 is really too young to deal appropriately with a sexual relationship. Look at what it did for you: it got you to be some 18-year-old guy's toy. (I thought about using a stronger term, but decided not to because of the audience here. The stronger term still applies, though.) You don't REALLY think he loves you just because he had sex with you, do you? He must be a real loser, not only to cheat on his girlfriend but to have sex with a 14-year-old, which in most states would be considered statutory rape. In ohter words, he didn't just have sex with you, he screwed you, royally, in more ways than one. I bet you didn't use birth control or any kind of protection against diseases, either, did you?
  • Maybe not stupid, but certainly misguided. Regardless of his age, sleeping with someone who has a girlfriend (other than, possibly, with the girlfriends informed consent) isn't a good idea. Not only are you at a high risk of hurting her by being an accesory to her boyfriend's unfaithfulness, but you are also putting yourself at risk. Firstly, getting involved with someone of dubious moral standards is asking for trouble- if he's willing to behave selfishly and callously toward his girlfriend he's liable to do the same to you. You may be telling yourself you don't care, its just sex: but can you honestly say that you won't feel hurt and rejected when he a) dumps you for some other girl b) goes back to his girlfriend and tells you you were "just for sex, not a proper girlfriend" or c) blabs the horny details of your encounters to the whole neighbourhood and gains you a reputation as the local tramp?. Only you can answer. Secondly, you are putting yourself at severe risk of retribution. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and if his girlfriend finds out you are likely to suffer some serious damage to your reputation, not to mention a hefty slap. You also have to consider the age problem. I don't know your location, but in most countries your "partner" would be breaking the law and could be prosecuted. Do you fancy standing in court to testify the details of your sex life? Thought not. Do yourself a favour and get out of this mess before its too late.
  • yeah. bottom line....youre going to get yourself into problems and him into problems. not even thinking about him having a gf...he is eighteen...yeaah thats illlllegal!!!!!! but besides that....if you knew he had a gf then you knew it was wrong before you slept with him. soooo yeahhhh the flaws of your relationship are kind of stuuupid.
  • I'm not going to call you stupid. That's a value judgment that is pretty derogatory. I will say you made an unwise choice, and lacked good judgment. However, I'm not going to beat you up over it, and I suggest you stop beating yourself up (asking if you are stupid indicates that). Beating yourself up will bring you no gain. Learn from the experience and move on. We all make mistakes. I also suggest that you be tested for STDs.
  • hmmm, I hate to use the word "stupid." I would say that you have definately made the wrong choice. I would suggest moving on and not continuing with that type of relationship as it can have many reprocussions. You are very young yet and will have many, many opportunities in your lifetime to have a relationship with someone. At 14, it is best to focus on other things. Also there are laws pertaining to minors and certain activities that should be followed. If you care about this eighteen year old then repeating this could bet him in trouble, big time. Other concerns are that you will be setting yourself up for heartbreak. He has a girlfriend already. STD's, pregnancy etc. are also not worth the risk. Learning is not making the same mistake twice. You are very young still. Wait a few, few years and enjoy a proper relationship when it's time for that.
  • In addition, you have to consider the fact that if he's sleeping with you and has a girlfriend, he may be sleeping with others. There is a real danger of veneral disease, AIDS, etc.
  • He is being incredibly stupid - what I call "as dumb as dirt." I cannot imagine you would want to be with such a vacant-minded and self-centered man. His stupidiy is that he could go to jail for what he is doing. It is criminal. It is morally wrong to use you that way. You are far too valuable.
  • Not stupid, but maybe you have low self-esteem. Don't you deserve to have someone for yourself? If he is hiding your relationship, he'll hide other things. Also, at 14 you need to be more focused on growing up and studies than this. In this state, if someone found out, he could also go to jail.
  • Not stupid, but it was probably poor judgment, and legally he could be charged with statutory rape, if you or your parents pressed the issue. If you had unprotected sex, then I would have to say THAT was stupid and very unwise. Also, how would you feel if you were this guy's girlfriend?
  • Sorta because its illegal for anyone underaged to sleep, have sex, make out etc with any person who is 18 years and older.
  • i agree. i think you should get out of the relationship and find someone your own age.
  • That question is outdated, however it is not a matter of stupidity, she is fourteen and at that age their brain hasnt grown enough to make that decision. She is not even grown up, so dont call her stupid. HE is stupid for committing statatory rape!!
  • I would say you made a stupid mistake but hon you are 14 and you are going to make a lot of those. The guy you slept with on the other hand made a really stupid mistake as if the law finds out his life is over. Please don't confuse a stupid mistake for being stupid. Everyone makes stupid mistakes, that doesn't mean they are stupid.
  • I wouldn't say stupid, immoral maybe. You shouldn't make a habit of this type of behavior. You could get a reputation and not a good one. People will tend not to trust you as well. Another thing, you can't take all the blame, he cheated as well. Also, from a legal standpoint, bad, he would go to jail if caught, and you would not be well thought of. Think about it, would you want someone to do this to you? Also, it's bad karma. And like Auntie said, you are being used. If you take anyone's advice, take hers.
  • Ever heard of statutory rape?
  • probably wasn't the best move....
  • to me...half-way...talking from experiece...i got a girl pregnant at age 17...she didn't want me to have anything to do with it...but...she said she wanted to raise it on my own...i am lucky...but if you get that girl pregnant then you might not be so lucky! and then you will be stuck with a kid or at least paying for the kid! and then you most likely won't be able to go to college because you are spending so much money on paying for the kid! so i don't think it was such a hot idea! but your choice really! i hope the best for you though!
  • you people talk so much shit.
  • Not stupid. Immature, maybe, but that can't be helped (considering your age). The guy, on the other hand, is not only STUPID but pathetic as well. I'd venture to say that he found it necessary to take advantage of such a young girl because the girls his own age realize what a hopeless loser he is; something that you, at 14, don't have the life experience yet to discern. Oh, by the way, in some states having sex with a minor who is 14 years old or younger is not statutory rape, it's straight up child molestation.
  • No just foolish, especially if you new about her. You shouldn't be having sex when you're 14. I'm only 18 and I've learned a lot since I was 14 even though it was a short time ago. Let's say you're mature for you age and he's immature for his age, it doesn't matter you're still on two different levels. So just wait until you're atleast 18 and you won't regret it. Date around and have fun don't try to grow up too fast trust me it's no fun. You'll be surprised what you learn about different kinds people in just 4 short years trust me.
  • It wusn't that smartest thing in the world to do but it doesnt mean you're stupid everybody makes mistakes so just lern from this mistake and dont do it again and you should be fine. Oh and also get yourself checked out at a sexual health clinic and make sure u didnt get anything from this guy. and good luck! =)
  • You are not being stupid just a very young lady that is being used and abused by an adult male. Get away from this person he has no care for your welfare. You need to be able to talk to somebody that will help you raise your self esteem and not let this mistake affect you long term. HE is the stupid one, not you. he is risking serious jail time sleeping with what is still legally a child no matter how grown up you feel. In the eyes of the law you are still a child.
  • Not stupid, just immature and gullible. I encourage you put this behind you and learn your lesson in future. The age of consent and associated laws are there for a reason, you know.
  • yes, you really have not the maturity yet to know or really get a grasp of what your actions have been! it was illegal for him to sleep with you anyway!
  • I hate when this happens. People hear about a 13-15 year old girl having sex with someone 18 or older (or a young boy having sex with an older woman ) and they automatically assume that the older one is a pedophile and wrong for misusing the "child". You know, I remember when I was 14 and I certainly didn't consider myself a child, and I knew perfectly well what I was doing, so I think it's crap when people try to say, "oh you were used, weren't you?" So, unless, he physically forced you, which it sounds like you were pretty willing, then yeah, you are stupid. Not for sleeping with an 18 year old who had a girlfriend, but for sleeping with anyone.
  • well first your young second hes too old, third.. your being a slut b/c you knew had a girlfriend.now if his girlfriend ever finds out shes going to be hurt.... go play with your toy blocks and baby dolls
  • Experiment. Whatever. Get your heart broken a few times. Toughen yourself up. You didn't cheat. He did. Do whatever. But...But...always be aware of the possible consequences.
  • ummm yes......
  • no, u are not stupid....just make sure when u have sex with people, make absoloutely SURE that ur doing it because YOU want to do it, not because THEY want u to do it...if ur absoloutely POSITIVELY sure u slept with this guy 'cause YOU wanted to, u'll be ok...as far as him having a girlfriend? thats HIS problem, not urs...i can't help but wonder if she knows he's stupid enough to sleep with a 14 year old..this has nothing to do with u (in fact MANY men would like to sleep with females ur age and won't admit it) but he's stupid 'cause he's risking his freedom to do it...usually when someone tells u they have a girlfriend upfront its 'cause they don't want u thinking the relationship with you will go anywhere...understand this! again, u are not stupid, just young and learning about people and yourself...BTW, please start seeing a gynocologist since u've become sexually active...and DONT let anyone talk u into unprotected sex...this includes oral sex! u'll be fine...just learn from ur experiences so u wont' have to go through anything that hurts u more than once
  • Well, it was a big mistake, and there's no point calling it stupid or silly or crying about it, lets just move on and wish that we make better decisions in the future.
  • I wouldn't say that your the stupid party but rather he being a legal adult at the age of 18 is. At 14 years old it may be something "cool" or "hip" to do by sleeping with older guys but honestly, your parents could have this man arrested. His girlfriend wouldn't like the fact that he is sleeping with children - unless she is a kid herself. You might wanna stay away from him for ever. Any man who is 18+ sleeping with minors is not good for ANYONE!
  • You're not a hero for screwing some-one at age 14. You're not a hero coz some sleeze chose you over his girlfriend. You're just jail bait waiting to happen.
  • Your not stupid period. But you are too young to be sleeping with anyone.
  • Not stupid but very naive. And perhaps a bit cheap.
  • you're not stupid you're 14. I have been though stuff like that too. It's not your fault its his. He should know better than to fool around with a youngster while he has a girlfriend and to be honest (you'll realize this when you are 18) sleeping with a 14 year old his gross and is slightly pervy.
  • You are not stupid....I think you were taken advantage of by an adult who has committed a crime against you. This is a felony crime punishable by serious jail time for the adult here (not you) You have received good advice here from AntigoneRising. Please do yourself a favor. End the relationship now. I understand you may not agree with me on this. You are 14. I understand that you have adult feelings at times but your judgment is still that of a child at times. This is NOT because you are stupid but, because you lack experience that will come to you over time. If you get preganat for instance you are too young emotionally to cope with the responsibility that comes with this for your entire life. Please do the right thing and get out of this...and get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases as they can be present and have no signs or symptom but lasting damages if not treated. You are not stupid!
  • My bad.. your a girl and I'm afraid the double standard applies. Naughty, naughty girl!
  • only if you just did it for pleasure yeah thats stupid...
  • depends, do you care if you are a slut? if not then no, live it up, enjoy all the sex you can get. however if you have a problem with that term then you should only have sex with people YOU are in a LTR with
  • Yep. And I hope he goes to prison as a pedophile.
  • Not the best of ideas!
  • hes the one being stupid, he shouldnt be sleeping with someone underage, i would turn him in for that, thats illegal

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