• If he's showing the classic flirting signs, I'm not sure why you picked 'gay'. Chances are he's shy or scared you're not interested.
  • Both? J/K Sounds like he's shy and hinting something to you! It's okay to make the first move. Ask him out on an actual date, if that's what you want.
  • Or does your company have a rule about co-workers dating? Many companies do, so maybe he's hesitant to break a code of conduct.
  • I wonder if he's gay because he's 40, never married, and he's really hot looking (several women have commented on this--those that don't know we've gone to lunch or know I'm interested in him), and he's never mentioned a girlfriend but always talks about his guy buddies.
  • I'm gonna go with the majority and say he's probably just too shy to make the first move. Especially if you have not given any indication that you are interested in something more back. It could also be he is having issues with the fact you both are co workers and what happens if the relationship doesn't work out. Dating a co worker is almost never a good idea. I have seen the results of what happens when co workers decide to date and it doesn't work out in the end and believe me it isn't a pretty sight. Maybe he is just being cautious. At any rate if you like him don't be shy let him know. Chances are he feels the same and is just too shy to admit it. Good luck
  • Lunch every couple weeks. Drinks every few months. Just sounds like he's not all that interested. He could have someone else he is pining for.
  • You have your answer.... NOTHING ADVANCES. I worked with a gal who had a guy from her previous job who she would date and use as a wedding escort. She wanted to know if things would progress further. I told her to open up her mouth and in the words of a popular Madonna song at the time "Express Yourself". She found out he wasn't interested in marrying her or anyone at the time and he was 40. She stopped contact with him and very soon after met a man over 40 who was single, never married and intersted in pursuing marriage. They have been married since 91 and have two lovely girls.
  • Maybe he's smart enough to know that workplace romances rarely come to any good. Make sure you can tell the difference between flirting and friendship. Occassional lunches and a few drinks sounds like he's trying to be a friend. Either way, it's probably not a good idea to pursue a co-worker.
  • As everyone else says he may just be shy, but also if he's 40 and has never been married, maybe he just likes the friendship without the benefits. And theres nothing wrong with that. I know several men like that. Or maybe he's trying to get to know you, that sounds more like he's thing. Tell him things about yourself but also make sure you ask him things about him so you can get to know him also. :)
  • I know this is totally crazy but how about asking him if he would be interested in you and he dating.

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