ANSWERS: 65
  • never ever.
  • Absolutely not. Parents are the ones you should be able to turn to for support. People get enough blows to their self esteem from the rest of the world, they don't need it from their parents.
  • Thanks guys. I enjoy turning my upsettedness inton anger with your reassuring answers!!
  • Why just the other day I called my daughter "Fatty"
  • No.. emotional abuse is never okay. And be aware it can often lead to other types of abuse. If you are having issues with your father, talk with him about it, or at least, seek outside advice from another family member who you can trust. (((luv'n'hugs)))
  • No. Kids (at least those I know) regard their parents as gods. Whatever these gods say will surely affect the kids.
  • Ok to consider her fat if that she be.
  • No. It ruins their self image for the rest of their life, no matter how "not fat" they are.....
  • "Daddy, I'm so overweight I feel like a blimp!" "No, honey, you're just a little fat." I don't think that would work. The image is too negative even when attempting to use it constructively.
  • NO NO NO NO and NO, girls already have self image and confidence issues she does not need her father a person she really cares about degrading her.
  • No, it's not. If she's young you can take her to the doctor and have him or her discuss proper diet and exercise with her to help her maintain a healthy lifestyle. If she's older, you can have a conversation with her regarding her health yourself. But, calling her "fat" is creating a bad self-image. In today's society people who are considered "fat" are also usually considered slower, less intelligent, etc (even though there is no corelation between the two). It can be detrimental to hear it from her parents. If she is overweight and is teased about it, she'll probably tell you and you can talk to her at that time.
  • NO!!!!!!!..............what purpose does it serve?
  • I don't see a proble with that !
  • It's not my place to say, but perhaps only if he's fat too.
  • No. Kids can't be very objective about the things their parents say. When it is said about them, it is nearly immpossible to see these statements as anything except criticism. I remember the day my step-dad told me that I was fat and needed to go on a diet. I was 12. I wasn't 'fat'. It hurt more than I could say, and it messed with my head. I have never been able to see myself as normal weight since then. I don't blame him for my problems, but the pain of that moment is still fresh and the self-image I developed from it is pretty solid.
  • NO way that would be bad i would say to encourage good eating habits and try to get her to join a active sport,activity,or anything that she likes to do that involves physcal activity even the local youth group is a very active groupe. Some of my friends who are in high school go to it so any age could go there and have fun. try and get her to ride her bike or walk to the places she goes depending on how old she is dont give her a ride ethier if she really whants to go somewere it will encourge her to walk.
  • He could probably find a kinder, gentler way of saying, "Honey, I'm concerned about your health. Could we work together to develop some healthier eating and exercise habits for both of us."
  • No using that term is not a good way of showing that you love someone. That father is a selfish pig. ANd I'd say that to his face.
  • Yeah, it's a great idea. If you want her to have an eating disorder for the rest of her life.
  • NO! it is not right for a father nor a mother to call thier child fat. How would he feels if his daughter called him fat, he would not like it at all well neither does his daughter.
  • No, and I think even some of the more "subtle" ways can be almost as devestating to a young girl's self-esteem. Growing up, neither of my parents ever directly called me fat, but I was overloaded with little comments about how I eat too fast, eat too much, eat the wrong things, and my dad would even make snorting pig noises whenever I finished everything on my plate. Whenever my parents went on diets, I went on them with them. I distinctly remember losing 20 pounds on Adkins when I was about 12 and being horrified that, whenever I came off of the diet, I gained 30 pounds back. It has taken me years to regrow any semblance of self-esteem and a positive body image. I have had to learn on my own that this is just how I look, and I am beautiful just how I am. I agree that parents should be concerned with a child's health, but make it about their health, not their weight.
  • No I don't think it is okay, especially if he says it flat out "your Fat!" But if he is concerned about her health, he would sit and talk o her like her father and then start to help her to gain a healthy lifestyle.:)
  • No, I have a good friend who has parents that said those kinds of things to her and now, even as an adult she is seriously screwed up. She is a really beautiful and intelligent woman and she has a really distorted view of herself.
  • when has that EVER been ok?
  • Is it OK to call the father DUMBASS?
  • no never. thats flat out mean. i believe when you make a statement it is either motivating or demotivating. so before you speak ask yourself which one is yours!
  • From my own experiences, I have learned that what a father thinks, says, etc. has a tremendous effect on the child/daughter. He needs to choose his words and actions carefully, especially if the daughter is young because if he is the only significant male in her life she will form her basic opinion of men using him as an example. This basic foundation is hard to change later.
  • Fathers can be real assholes sometimes and some of them think they are doing the right thing by calling you names to motivate you.
  • no....even if it an eating intervention, "fat" can't be productive.
  • If a father has the nerve to call his daughter fat he ought to look in the mirror. Children today are mostly fat because of their parents. Both of my parents have a mental issue about being fat. They talk about other people's weight and I have to tell them to stop. I can't stand it when people are judged on appearance. They have made me self conscious, and I'm sure others. My mom calls her mother fat everytime she talks to her. My other grandma has this image that everyone should be tall and "slender". She sings the song, short people have no reason to live. And I'm 4'11". I don't think it's right for anyone to call anyone else fat. It hurts.
  • Only if it's okay for the daughter to call the father an a&&hole. No? Didn't think so.
  • No, it's mean.
  • No definately not my father told me i was fat for several years by the time i was 14 i was anorexic. now 23 im still concerned and i only weigh 54kg, in my mind i want to be 45kg, it messes with your mind not just if a father says it but anyone.
  • No. It hurts and is in no way motivational or helpful.
  • Like the saying goes........ "If the shoes fits.........".
  • Tell him he's gay.
  • NO!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!! A father can crush his daughter's spirit very easily. A girl will see herself as her father sees her. This image of herself will determine how she interacts with the world. The greatest gift a father can give a daughter is confidence and the secure knowledge that she is not only loved, but loveable.
  • hell no...and put her into a major stage a depression? That would be a horrible thing for a father to do...a father should love his daughter the way she is...if anything just get her help.
  • Never !!!!!!
  • How would the father feel if his father called him fat? Well if it is going to hurt your feelings..don't do it to others.
  • Damn that Alec Baldwin, is he calling Ireland fat now? A few months ago he called her a little pig.
  • Girls (young and old) are extremely conscience about their appearance. Calling someone "fat" isn't exactly constructive or helpful. That Dad needs to do some research because if there is a weight issue there are gentle ways to help a youngester eat more nutritionally, make better choices and encourage exercise. But, the bottom line is, a parent's role is to give love and teach the child to love theirself no matter what size they are.
  • No, that is a terrible, mean-spirited thing to tell a child. It is difficult enough for girls today to fit in. I'm sure she knows that she is overweight and feels very self-conscious about it already. She certainly doesn't need her father telling her she is fat! A father should protect his daughter by giving her real world examples of a healthy body image. If you feel her weight is a health issue, talk to her with kindness. Listen to her individual needs with understanding, respect, and sensitivity. Maybe there are issues or problems causing her to over-eat. Discuss things other than food, weight, counting calories, and exercise. Attempt to talk about feelings instead and emphasize her real assets, like intelligence and talent. Help her in a positive way maybe by sharing your own vulnerabilities and struggles in coping with life. Children need to be supported and feel loved...especially from their father!
  • Yes, if its accurate. But its also in the timing and the telling. How do you think she'll respond? How do you want her to respond? And how accurately can you predict her response anyway? I like programming computers. It's fun, it's easy, and all the mistakes are at my end. Programming children is alot harder because half of the mistakes are at the child's end. I imagine that the people who truly love parenthood look on it as some kind of game of stimulus - response. With computers, getting the desired outcome is easy because it just does what you say. But people aren't that simple. We have all sorts of jumbled thoughts that scramble the messages we get. For example, I've just answered this question by assuming it was asked by a father when I really don't know. It could be anyone, even the daughter asking the question for all I know. I haven't even bothered looking at the 'name' of the asker. Hmmm, looks like I'm starting to digress again. Yes it's okay for a father to call his daughter 'fat' if it is true. If she can't get honesty from her own father, where can she get it? But yeah, kids being kids and all, parenthood is not such an easy game to play. It all depends on the situation, how and why it is said, and the desired outcome.
  • No, absolutely not. I became anorexic at fourteen when a few family members told be I was fat. Its even more hurtful from a parent, and I know because I've had friends come crying to me because their fathers told them to cut back on the carbs and start eating less and stuff.
  • well lying is a sin.
  • absolutely not, and i should know, my father does it all the time, and i know for a fact that i am not at, i think it is wrong for parents to try and lowere their children's self-esteem. it's just wrong.
  • Well, it isn't nice. depending on how old she is, receiving such a criticle comments from someone you trust (like a parent) without regard to how that person would feel, may have a lasting adverse effect. If the daughter is younger and is more impressionable, it may affect her confidence.
  • This behavior could be very damaging to her self-esteem.
  • No no no
  • not even close to being ok. A father is a girls support system and if she doesn't have that....well...
  • If she's fat, she should be told. Not in a hurtful manner, but yeesh, can't we do away with this phony "You're perfect just as you are" crap? If she's fat to the point of unhealthiness then she needs to know. An if she has any shred of self-esteem and intelligence she won't get an eating disorder. Because she'll be smart enough to know better.
  • Why no, it is obviously unacceptable for anyone to say anything anyone might find offensive in the least bit, especially if it's true. It's harassment and should land you in jail. Also, for a man's sake, he should never call a woman fat, lest he incur her wrath. (On a serious note, he really shouldn't call his daughter fat unless she is and asks his opinion.)
  • I dont think it is right, things like that is what ends up giving girls eating disorders, not just starving herself but actually eating more. Its not right! BTW points to all for answering the questions since you were are downrated, Ill try my best to get most of you back up there!
  • I think it can cause a lot of emotional issues that can also lead to physical problems. I don't like it, and wouldn't tolerate it at all. There are ways to help people without belittling them
  • If a man calls a woman fat, he is scum. If a woman calls a man fat, then he really is a fatass.
  • Nope! He sounds like he lacks integrity.
  • If the damn girl is fat then she bloody well needs to know, otherwise she'll get even fatter! How handy would that be, some gigantic, slothful balloon saying, "Daddy, am I fat?" "Oh no dear, you're beautiful." "Then why is it so hard to walk, and why don't boys ask me out?" "Oh they're just jealous / dazzzled by your beauty dear, have another donut." If she can't get honesty from her own father, who can she get it from? Should all the boys at school tell her first? It's time people stopped being so 'precious' and started calling a spade a spade. "Yes, I'm fat. It seriously stuffs up my looks and it slows me down. Now what am I going to do about it?" If only fat people could get a bit of air in their lungs, they'd get the necessary self-esteem to allow them to handle being called 'fat'. Having said that, of course, there is a right way and a wrong way for a dad to tell his daughter that she is fat. If he's just saying it as a general form of abuse, then obviously that is bad. But if he is purely concerned about her health and well being then that is good. What is better is if he can help her manage her weight. ( ... but would she let him? ... )
  • No it's not right. Would he like it if you called him fat. No he wouldn't. Parents should love their children no matter what but if he is concerned then talk to you about you. Also children only do what their parent teach them and if your father isn't teaching you good habit then he need to take a good look at himself.
  • Only if he wants his daughter to run away from home.
  • No, massive self esteem issues for her
  • Maybe not use the word fat, it's called a euphemism. Sometimes the truth hurts. Is he a worse father for not caring enough to bring it up? With some tact of coarse.
  • If he feels that she is fat, he can keep his mouth shut and spend time with her doing fun physical activities. He can help with preparing good foods with her.
  • Not in the white culture, or some other cultures. "Fat" in Western culture has a derogatory meaning. In traditional Chinese culture, calling someone "chubby" or "fat" is actually considered a compliment, since that means that person is not from a poor family or is starving. The Chinese traditionally see "fatness" as a blessing----you are blessed with fortune, luxury, etc. "Thinness" is seen as sickly, destitute, impoverished. I was called "fat" all the time when I was young by my relatives, friends, etc.----I hated it and thought it was mean, but that's because I was Westernized into believing that being "fat" is wrong and ugly. I sometimes think the children today are too sensitive about remarks made about them, and the grown-ups who go "OMG, he called her that?" are partly to blame too. But the Dad who calls his daughter "fat" in this Western culture is out of line, since it's not taken in the same context as in the Chinese culture.
  • Yeah, he can called her fat with a PH as much as he wants. Otherwise no... (unless he is a fitness guru and she refuses to work out, then I don't blame him)

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