ANSWERS: 6
  • Honestly, I wouldn't tell him until you take care of yourself first. I feel from your question that the best suggestion is to seek help in any way you can so you can begin to heal yourself. If you seek help with a counselor then you may even want to have all three of you sit down and discuss it. My worry for you is that if you continue without help and he rejects you for whatever reason it could only cause further damage to yourself. Please take care
  • I agree, Don't tell him right now. I also found it very hard to talk about the word alone for four years, then if I was comfortable with someone I may say I was raped if the subject came up. I have told my brief version of the story to a child who used the word rape as if it was cool, he understood really quick how upsetting it was, well still can't get comfortable telling the entire story, exspecially in the presence of other men.I believe in honesty, but you have to do it lightly, briefly, and with courage that you will be alright. Honestley, you really should help yourself, before you talk to someone in your personal area.
  • I know nothing about rape and I am not an expert on anything...but I think you have to come to terms with it before you will be able to discuss it with your boyfriend. Have you considered councelling?--everyone needs a crutch at some point in their life..asking for help is a sign of strength.
  • It seems to me that you want to tell him, or else you wouldn't have asked this question in this way. I still only open up to a few people about what happened when I was raped, and I don't think that it is abnormal. This isn't information you share with just anyone, and it probably never will be. That's ok. If you think he is ready and trustworthy to hear the information, I think you should sit down with him somewhere private and start with, "I have something important I want to share with you. I trust you enough to share this information with you, and it is very personal and private." Good luck.
  • First of all, I'm really sorry that had to happen to you, defintely a life changing experience that takes away a lot of your innocence. Well, don't feel like you have to tell him, because you are very young, and that is a huge step in your life, because it's honesty, and it's also a wall that you probably have built up against men. Though i promise you, all men are not like that. If i was you, i personally would keep it to myself, until you are sure you want to open up. There is one thing i have learnt in my life so far and that is that people who you think you know, you don't really know till it's been a long time, and a year isn't that long. Rape is a big deal, especially in a young girl's life and so that is a big deal to tell everything that you feel to him, and open up like that. It defintely makes you vounerable, and if you are okay with that and you really do trust this guy, then i'd say go for it and tell him, but if you're unsure then wait. You don't have a time limit on when you have to tell people things about yourself that most don't know. So make sure you have dealt with it on your own, before you bring other people into it. I hope you also know, that a woman's body is a beautiful thing, and please be with somebody who respects that. You were never in the wrong...it of course influences your life, but don't let him ever over power your mind, strength is having power and power comes from being in the right!
  • First, good job surviving the rape physically, mentally and emotionally. That is very brave of you. You may tell him or not tell him, that is up to you. What you should do is seek to heal from this and get some good counseling. This is a big event trauma that isn't your fault and isn't something you can just "get past". This can affect your relationships and self happiness for a long time so please do what you can to help yourself, then worry about your boyfriend later. Love of good wishes!

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