ANSWERS: 3
  • What are you doing to your neighbour's back passage in the first place ? Maybe the noise is emanating from you ? Do not call the police, in case what you are doing is still illegal in the state of Canada.
    • Ice man
      Oh Canada is in a state alright but we credit that to our gay & immigrant terrorist loving, cry baby, pot smoking, photo hog, leader..Thank Christ there is an election coming !! But seriously it sounds like my neighbor is having his way with sea creatures...
    • Lilo Avli
      I always have an erection coming, and Justin is often the reason. How do you know what sex with sea creatures sounds like ? Worm your way out of that one !
    • Ice man
      My mom made us watch all those Nation Geographic programs and some of them were really graphic, the worst part is that we had color TV by then...
    • Lilo Avli
      Good worming, Sir. I almost believe you.
    • Ice man
      What ?? The National Geographic part was true. Mom also made sure the TV was tuned in to those other African Wildlife programs that came on at suppertime on Sundays. I'd be chowing down on my roast beef and mashed spuds when Mom would yell out "Oh Look, Look, Look !!", we'd all look up at the TV just in time to witness a wildebeest giving birth. It looked like a large flour sac fell out of the animals backside and plopped to the ground, complete with a cloud of rising dust. Mother was just tickled pink and the rest of us no longer wanted our supper.
    • Lilo Avli
      Any horseradish sauce with your roast beef ? Is that how your Mom gave birth to you ? Who got to eat the unfinished supper ? And who was this "Pink" fella your Mom was tickling ?
    • Ice man
      Sometimes I think you are beyond hope ... Of course there was horseradish sauce !! What do you take us for ... uncivilized savages living out on the Serengeti plains of Tanzania ?
    • Lilo Avli
      I wish I was behind Hope. She has very welcoming cheeks. Next you'll tell me Canada has electricity and running tap water. Do you still own the land in Tanzania ? How big is your spear ? Do you have an antelope bone thru your pen fifteen ?
    • Ice man
      Let's see now .. Yes, Yes , Yes, and Yes, Regulation size, and No, it's walrus tusk.
    • Lilo Avli
      That explains why you are always tripping over it. And is that where the expression "being boned" comes from ?
    • Ice man
      Maybe you're a genius after all.
    • Lilo Avli
      Always thought as much.
    • Ice man
      Oh ? Were you told this, long ago, by an old gypsy fortune teller with a ring through her left nostril ?
    • Lilo Avli
      OMG ! What an unbelievable coincidence. No.
    • Ice man
      That is pretty unbelievable, isn't it ?
  • Just so you know, I've alerted the SPCA and the coast guard.
    • Lilo Avli
      Thanks for keeping us up-to-date.
    • Ice man
      I heard him using his chainsaw about an hour ago, and the noises have stopped, so it's probably sea creature BBQ tonight. Fortunately there's a tall fence between us and I no longer have to watch what goes on over there.
    • Lilo Avli
      Have you ever seen the film "Saw" ? Can't you drill a small hole thru the fence, like what I do thru mine and my sexy neighbours bathroom wall ?
    • Ice man
      Aaaaaa no !! There is nothing sexy to watch over there. I'm the one who insisted on the fence being built in the first place.
    • Lilo Avli
      You're like a Canadian Donald J Trump, then ? But less Stormy Daniels, more Jack Daniels. Did you make the psycho neighbour pay for the wall, er, I mean, fence ?
    • Ice man
      You see that's the difference between me and Donald J, I only paid for half, but talked the neighbor into building the whole fence himself...
    • Lilo Avli
      Yes, I can imagine after listening to you waffling on for hours, he would agree to anything.
    • Ice man
      And I didn't even have to offer him a beer.
    • Lilo Avli
      Probably thought you were going to drug him.
    • Ice man
      I don't waste money on drugs. I piss in the empty beer bottles and give them out to people I don't like. When they ask about the peculiar taste .. I tell them it's home brew.
    • Lilo Avli
      Remind me not to accept a beer when I visit your trailer. I'll bring my own, warm English bitter.
    • Ice man
      Good idea ! Then you can refill the empties and we can offer my neighbor those too. I mean like variety is a good thing. Right ?
    • Lilo Avli
      Spice of life, apparently. I thought it was turmeric.
    • Ice man
      So what has the metric system got to do with it ?
  • Get out of their yard and stop making noises.
    • Ice man
      You're on a roll today, that's two jokes in a row. Are you trying to seduce me ??
    • Lilo Avli
      I see I have stiff competition.
    • Mircat
      Lolololololololololo
    • Lilo Avli
      Are you drowning ? Quick, Ice Man, take off all your clothes and jump in.
    • Ice man
      Yes, I shall rescue this fair maiden from the depths of your "paddling pond". Who spilled their fruit loops ?

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