ANSWERS: 6
  • As jealousy is natural it is not a matter of giving it up but rather of working on it and managing it. One thing that helps is having a good sense of yourself and what you are capable of and what you have accomplished. We tend to put so much into our relationships that they become our all so when they end we are left with almost nothing, and when they are threatened it heightens our jealousy. But when we plan to have part of ourselves that does not depend upon a particular partner, and when we came to know ourselves well enough through experience that we know we are capable of attracting other good love relationships - then our jealousy does not need to be so acute. Another approach is how we hold our relationships, what we expect of them. In the best of relationships I have always been drawn to other men so I know it must undoubtedly be the same with men. If we go the way of insisting upon total sexual fidelity, which I know I am perhaps not capable of, then there is no room for human frailty or error. If I am to allow myself to have secondary relationships without threatening my primary relationship then I have to either sneak around very discreetly or allow my primary partner the same freedom and come to some understanding together about how it should be handled. Now I want my husband to be able to enjoy other women, but no matter what I want to always be #1 with him. When he is together with them I do think oh she is better than me because she is a better person, more fun, has a better figure, nicer hair, prettier etc. - which jealousy of course comes from my own insecurities. But then I think OK why shouldn't he have a chance to be with someone who is "better" in those ways? Just as he allows me to enjoy men with different and possibly "better" qualities? As long as he comes home to me. So it is very important that your relationship have a solid basis rooted elsewhere than just in sex, because I know some of his sexual activities with others will be in some ways perhaps "better" than what he has with me. But I know he will not leave me for them so I feel secure and less threatened. Before I was married I was seldom very jealous, maybe because I felt I did not have that much to lose. So managing jealous feelings really only became a reality with my marriage, especially when we would paly with other couples and I would see my husband concentrating on and enjoying another woman. Which when I focused on it ruined my own enjoyment. So I had to stop putting my focus on it and concentrate instead on my own feelings of enjoyment. But it did lead to a greater appreciation of my husband's depth seeing his appreciation of and handling of others. Though now we mostly see others separately which gives us more freedom I think to be ourselves. I don't think anyone can be truly and completely free of jealousy but we must learn how to manage it and not allow it to take over our feelings and destroy what is good in ourselves, our relationships, and in others. So I tell myself don't hate but rather appreciate , or, if we can, emulate, what is good in others. Understand that we are only human and so quite imperfect.
  • Yes I am. Because I have Jesus Christ in my life. And I can do more than that. In the bible,according to Isaiah chapter 41 verse 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. http://www.iheartpray.com/
  • Am I ready to give what up jealously? Could you be a bit more specific?
  • was never jealous jealous. don't have that in me.
  • I gave it up by the end of my teens, when I learned to be happy with what I had and not worry about what anybody else had. When it came to girlfriends playing head games and trying to make me jealous by getting really "friendly" with other guys - I figured out that those girls weren't worth the effort and I just moved along.
  • For something good and peaceful! probably yes

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