ANSWERS: 1
  • Please understand that, when referring to your vagina, "dry" is a relative term. It is never actually dry, but sometimes it can be too dry for sex to be comfortable. When we don't think about sex and become sexually aroused then is natural for it to be more dry. Now our first time it is natural for there to be some hurt as our membrane, or part of it, was ruptured which causes bleeding. Could be that the reality for you was not sexually exciting and you had more anxiety about it than arousal. Which would have been especially so when the pain started which mitigated against your arousal thus your lubrication. I think you are being far too concerned about this. When we become concerned like that then we become anxious which makes us more dry. Then you become even more anxious being afraid that somehow you are "dry" and will continue to be so. So the cumulative anxiety becomes self-fulfilling. A sort of "performance anxiety". Sex starts working when you are comfortable with and relax into your feelings of arousal and go with them and let them lead you. Any anxiety you have sabotages those feelings. You need to accept and embrace feelings of arousal and all they could lead to - including relationships and pregnancy etc. Our feelings of arousal are not just an end in themselves but can lead us to other things as well. Which is the way it is supposed to be. A good thing to do would be to spend some time with the person you want to have sex with getting ready for sex which is called foreplay. Where you talk sexy things and he tells you how much he wants you and touches you all over and kisses you all over until you are comfortable enough you can just relax into your feelings of sexual arousal until you are very ready for him to be up you. But sometimes takes a while to get comfortable and the first couple or a few times can be tearing and discomfort for you even being aroused and fully lubricated. Sometimes comes naturally, sometimes we need to learn how. But your experiences and where you are now are not in any way unusual. Don't let your anxiety take control of you but relax and enjoy your feelings of arousal and pleasure.

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