Thank you for your answer. That is what I learned about a lot of men but funny very few are willing to admit that. But there must be something in it for them about how they see themselves or why would so many be willing to do it?

You know thinking about that - I can remember when I was very young a single O I would think was just the greatest thing. Don't know if you have read any of my old posts but I discovered it playing with myself and masturbating in early adolescence. But when I started having sex it was such a surprise to me I could have the same feelings and orgasms with men except much stronger. Can you believe how na?ve I was? It started all making sense to me then. And sometimes I would have multiples but I didn't think of them as that then - didn't even know the term - but rather I just thought that meant I was making love two of three times! Then I got with an older man who taught me all about my physiology and had me read Mary Jane Sherfey's On the Nature and Evolution of Female Sexuality which I guess was popular then. And was like he was showing me what I was capable of. So when we made love he would keep going with me so I came more and more times. Which I thought can it get any better than this? And sometimes he would go a couple of hours with me I would Ok is this what it is all about? So I knew I was capable of 16 or 18 or 20 though of curse I was not counting! Which was - I thought that was my limit for 30 years ort so until I got into group activity and anal and DP. And then I learned I was created for lots more and the feeling was still wow is this it? But the point I do want to make at this time is that those situations were extreme and required planning, the right men, etc. And a lot of men especially think OK if she can have dozens with a group of guys then two or three she has with me must be no big thing for her. But that is wrong - just because we are physiologically capable of going on and on does not mean we "need" to or even want to. Because it requires much much less just for bonding with someone we love . And I wish I could make all men understand this. I let myself try other things which I enjoyed and wanted again sometimes. But one-on-one which is still what it is mostly about for me a few Os are all it takes to make me feel I have had a good and satisfying experience with someone I love or want to be with. I know that it takes me a lot longer than many women to get there but once I get going I can keep going and most men I see do spend forty minutes to an hour which is plenty for me and I consider I am fortunate to get so if I have five, six or seven and he is just going steadily with me usually they ascend in intensity (though the first can sometimes be really strong) to sort of a peak which I know is coming and I tell my husband or my lover to finish himself. Which when he gets going for himself sometimes makes me come another time. This I think we do naturally as part of adjusting ourselves to our men. We know what generally to expect from him and how long he will keep going so either consciously or even unconsciously work to get as much of it in for ourselves during that time.

Believe it or not, I actually understand your point. My gf has even gone so far as to tell me that sometimes she does not care if she does not have an orgasm at all. (Though she would prefer to.) She added that sometimes - sorry to be direct here - it means more to her to have me inside of her than to have an orgasm BECAUSE I am inside of her. This IS, you are right, a basic difference between men and women when it comes to sex. For women, being with "the guy" is emotional and satisfying in its own right. Men, however, are "task" oriented. They see sex as a confirmation of love - and somewhat crudely - the better the sex the better the love. I can imagine that you have a hard time explaining your view to men - it is like you both speak English and yet are hearing two different things. For what it is worth there are times when I get it. I stop "swinging for the fences" and am just in the moment with her. I have even stopped thrusting and just felt the warmth of being inside my gf. It can be - I hate to the word, but it works - beautiful. Weirdly, in that moment, I have felt total love. Yet, after I have had my orgasm there is a part of me that thinks, "She would have enjoyed it so much more if I had just...." By the way, the question - "was it good for you?" - usually does not get asked between the two of us, but if it is asked it is usually ME asking her and not the other way around. What does that tell you? Men are just wired that way, and it does not matter how many times you tell us differently. That thought is always in the backs of our minds. We think if the woman orgasms that we have proved our love, so to speak. That's true even when I am in my most animalistic mood and am basically just humping my gf so I can orgasm and cum. I still sort of expect/hope that she will orgasm - several times. Interesting to hear your point - but admit it, if you can be with the guy you love AND orgasm 30 times, you won't be complaining, will you?

Oh, by the way, I was a little unclear of what the antecedent was in your first answer. Do you mean why do so many men go fast? Because they con't control themselves. Have sex with an inexperienced 18 year old guy. He does not know how to pace himself, he is just into the feeling of sexual relief. It is not that he wants to be a bad lover, it is rather that he does not know how not to be. By the way, in that connection, as a man nears climax, he more or less loses control of his body. The thrusting induced muscles spasms, and ejaculation, once begun, is pretty much unstoppable. The interval when a man has no control is not long, but it also explains why men go fast. At a certain point, a man no longer controls his body. (Think of it this way, ladies, For a time, your guy is literally powerless before you.) However, as men grow older and more experienced, they learn how to pace themselves - to stay off that plateau as it were. If your question is why do men try to slow it down and give a woman multiple orgasms, it is because they do want to please the woman sexually and to a man, multiple orgasms, as I mentioned, is in a sense a confirmation of our own sexual prowess. A lot of men don't get - as you pointed out - that to a woman, who they have an orgasm with often matters more than how many orgasms they have. It all goes back to the fact that men and women have sex for different - if complementary - reasons. I am not sure if I answered your question - I think that maybe I am misunderstanding you - but we'll try this for starters.

18 year olds learn pretty fast when they want to.

Thank you. And just what does that mean to you?