Absolutely zero tolerance girl, break up with him. Don't put up with that type of behavior, so wut, who cares if it was his first time cheating, he'll still do it if given the chance to. Girl, there are plenty of guys who aren't stupid enough to be led by temptation. When I have a b/f, I would inform him of the three things i wouldn't put up with: 1) Cheating 2) Lying and 3) Abuse of any type. So throw him to the curb, thats wut he deserves, don't take him back.

If you love him and believe that it will not happen again, then the man deserves another chance. People make mistakes, and should be given forgiveness if you feel they deserve it. He cheated on you, and that's terrible. If you believe it wont happen again and he'll be honest and open with you, then he should get another chance. If the love is there, give him a chance.

I have the same problem only the other way round. i'm the one who cheated and i'm trying to get him back. i really love him and won't do it ever again. it all depends on if you believe him when he says this and if you think you'll be able to trust him again. if u think it's what u had is worth saving, give it a shot. but maybe i'm a little biast!

Listen, lets face it. After this you will always have th thought of him with another woman on your mind. Can you live with that? Another thing, this will cause fight no matter HOW MUCH you LOVE him, and you will catch yourself resorting to the saying "YEA WELL YOU CHEATED ON ME". If thats all thats basically is gonna happen, sorry sweet heart i dont believe its worth it. He betrayed your trust, no matter how sorry he is...he BETRAYED your trust and thats not acceptable, relationships are based on trust, can you trust a guy who cant even be faithful? My answer is no. I say dump him, your not worth being played. Wish you Luck!

I like my little story as allegory. There was a man who wanted t be king. He managed to get some people close to the king to agree to betray him in return for money. When he sat upon the throne his first decree was to have the traitors killed. When asked why his reply was simle "If they would betray once, then they could do so again". If you can accept that what was wrong could lead to him cheating again, then you can try to restart your relationship, but find out what went wrong and avoid that mistake. If he did it once, though, he can do it again, and how many times will you take him back?

Second chances do not apply to people that cheat...don't even try it. I've been there and done that. My boyfriend cheated on me, left me for someone else and one month later was back knocking on my door. What did I do? I gave him a second chance--HUGE mistake...a year later he did the same exact thing, and this was actually 5 days ago...the heartbreak is harder and the pain is worse...don't do it to yourself, you are worth more. Go by the saying: "Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me". You're just setting yourself up to be hurt again if you let him back into your life. I strongly warn you against it. Guys don't change, TRUST me, i know first hand.

I recently experienced this as well. On principle, I cannot forgive a cheater, but when it comes down to practice, it becomes too emotional and personal to be clear-cut. You have to ask yourself if you can truly forgive him, even if it takes time -- and if you can, ask yourself if he is worth the time and the hurt. I myself haven't come to a conclusion about what to do, though friends and family all urge that I leave him. Their reasoning is all the same: that there are SO many chances out there, its not worth it to stay with someone who doesn't treat you right. And cheating is as bad as any kind of abuse -- its so deeply emotional, it severs trust and respect, both of which are truly foundational to loving. If you truly love each other, you will find a way to stay together, to forgive, and to rebuild the trust and respect your love should be based on. But if you're not sure, just be careful not to let yourself get hurt again.

Sweetie, dump that man. I forgave my ex-husband once and he did it again. Not everyone will cheat again but how can you ever really trust them again?? I say if he's learned his lesson, that's great for his next girlfriend.

Cheating is our worst nightmare come true. The ramifications are earthshaking. The trust is gone, completely gone, I feel that it is nearly impossible for a Relationship Survive Cheating, the only thing worse than cheating is getting caught cheating. Because unlike anything else, cheating is perhaps the most personally demoralizing thing one person can do to another person. cheating in my book is automatic grounds for breaking up.

An EX is a EX for a reason,and he gave you the reason - run don't walk

Why did you ask this same question twice, only with a different format?

Im going through that right now. My boyfriend cheated on me when he was on break from Iraq. He decided to tell me last week over a long distance phone call. He is begging for forgiveness now. I want to leave him but my heart doesnt let me. I know when he comes back home he will proberbly do it again. So when he gets home he thinks i will come live with him and all will be well. It's going to be the total opposit. There is no way i can live with him. When ever he's not in my sight i will be going nuts thinking about what he could be doing. Im too pretty and good for that. I know i will be happy again, it will just take some time and alot of girl talks and vodka-lol

No matter what you do, the relationship is still probably over. It's almost impossible to build trust once that happens. There will always be deep suspicions now.

Dump him. That saying "Once a cheater always a cheater" is actually true. See the thing is, cheating is a conscious decision. A decision that required a thought processes. Which means he CHOSE to cheat on you. Why would you wanna be with someone like that?

Once you forgive him once, you're basically saying that that's what will happen every time he cheats. He's going to expect that next time, you'll say "it's ok" and that you'll get over it. Set an example for the next girl and show him that it's NOT okay, and walk away now while you still have your self respect.

Is this the first time, or the first time he got caught? Time for you to move on.... quickly.

Once a cheater always a cheater kick him to the crub girl you cant trust him get out before it gets worst

I think that if he's cheated in the past with previous gf's or with you, you should dump him. If this is really the first time and he is really sorry then just remember that this will always be in the back of your head and you're going to have to live with it. Thats my two cents.

in all this i had a drunken kiss with a friend on my birthday ( i was drunk )((no excuse i know)) which was cut short by the very fact it was happening and i lost my girl forever and she meant everything. but it wasn't a consious decision... i fell nothing for the 3rd part and never have

Honestly I understand why you are considering taking him back. Even though he cheated you still do have feelings for him. I have been in your positon, I was recently cheatd on, but i loved him and took him back. I do regret doing so because he obviously didnt care about us anymore. But to be honest you cant stereotype people into different catagories. You cant say "guys never change" or "once a cheater always a cheater". It really depends upon the relationship you two have and what lead up to the cheating. Was it for no reason? Then he probably doesnt care about you. But people do cheat for an escape at times. My boyfriend and I of 14 months were getting back together and I cheated on him and I regretted doing it immediatly. I know personally I would never cheat again. I cheated as an escape from hurt feelings. So you really just have to think about if hes worth your time and energy. And always be prepared to be hurt again because even if he says he'll never do it again, nothing is guaranteed.

Hvae you never heard the saying cheat on me once shame on you cheat on me twice shame on me. Why risk that he will do it again. Unless you love him that much and think you can learn to trust him again. Personally I say dump him and fast. You deserve better than someone who obviously doesn't respect the idea of being in a comotted loving relationship.

it's nearly 2 years later that this question pops up.. i sure hope you made up your mind by now.

Never it is sometimes true that a man will cheat on you once because he is drunk,but it was still his decision to do so.By forgiving him the first time you are setting yourself up for his expectation that youll forgive him the second time.I didn't fight it when it happened to me.I just let it slide because i was young and thought i was in love,I have taken him back so many times and a year ago began our 3 try at the relationship,ive left him now.This is because even though he may have 'changed',he will never change in my mind. I don't know whether he cheated on me because he lacked respect for me,or because he decided i was second best,but i do know that even though i love him he is not the guy i thought he was and will never be forgiven for this.I Don't respect him atall.Ive had fun guiltripping him but the heartbreak is just to immense for that to be a comfort. Learn From Experience and Move On To The Next That Really Is Life :)

One time long ago I had a boyfriend confess to me (after 5 months passing) that he had cheated on me one time with my best friend. I was completely and utterly devastated. While a part of me what grateful that he was suffering so heavily from guilt that he told me... eventually I found that I was never able to forgive him. I gave him a second chance and I ended up returning the favor to him. While I know most would say that isn't the right thing to do... I really didn't respect him anymore. You will eventually get to this point where you'll realize that it's impossible to ever completely trust him. It's a really hard thing to overcome. Once you've had someone break your trust this way... I'm not sure you're ever the same. Here I am 10 years later and I still have trust issues with the people I date. I don't know if it's an individual thing and for your sake I hope it is but it's hard. Move on as fast as possible and find yourself a good man that is worth your trust and when you do find him... it's important to try very hard not to hold this guy's mistakes against him. Not all men are cheaters! There are some good ones out there.

Wow. This ? is so old. Im still g2 answer it though. B/c even though LOGIC tells you not to go back. And EVERYONE is telling you not to go back. Most people are blinded by the love and still do it. I took my cheater back. Lesson learned hard. If they cheated on you. They obviously didn't love you enough in the first place. B/c would you do it?

i think you should give him another chance. just one more. if he does it again then you know he wasnt really sorry. people make mistakes and once they do there is nothing you can do to change it. but if he really loves you he wont do it again.

this just happened to me. the best advice i got from my family was to ask myself if my feelings for him have changed. if they hadnt then it would be harder to break up and wonder if we could get past it then to stay together and know it wasnt ever going to work. if it happens once shame on you if it happens twice shame on me. if you think that you can work it out and move past it in time, its not going to hurt to give it a second try...

my boyfriend cheated on me 3 years ago. it still eats me up! Its so hard to get over! we've got a son now, but i still think about it all the time.

"a dick has no brain" most men have to learn to see that genital activity has to be seen in context of the OTHER as person. Maturity emotionally and spiritually are the same basically so if he can be growing in those areas, actually in that one, two-sdied area, work withn him. But if his 'Dick Rules" drop it or wait for him to come home IF he learns a lesson that the BRAIN is the primary sex-organ, not the size or shape or stamina of his organ.

I am devastated today after learning two days ago that my boyfriend cheated on my with his ex. He cheated on me 10 years ago, we broke up for five years and I accepted him back into my life two years ago thinking he had grown and changed but he didn't. He was actually living with me at this point..I got curious when his cell phone started beeping at 2 a.m. well it was his ex, and apparently he has been having a relationship with her on the side when I wasn't looking for the past 7 months, although he claims it wasn't "ongoing". He acted remorseful, sad, apologized, kissed my feet..but that is it. I barely could trust him again since the last cheating episode and that was 10 years ago..and how could I ever try to trust him again after he did this to me a second time?! At this point I don't care if it was one time or 500 times, when I took him back I vowed if I ever caught him cheating on me even once that would be it we would be over for good. I can't even consider him a friend anymore,and that is the worst pain of all. Take my advice, don't be a fool and learn the hard way like me. Cut off all contact, grieve, heal, and move on with your life..that is what I am planning to do. I know everyone says it but I am going through the same thing, except I feel like a stupid person because this isnt' the first time. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much this time..guess the first cut is the deepest. Good luck.

i am in the exact same situation. mine is exactly the same, had sex with a girl but says it had nothing to do with love or anything. its the first time he did this too, we've only been together 6months but i do love him any he tells me that too. i think that it depends on the type of person that you are. right now i cant work out to stay or go but going seems so much harder. we will never forgive and that will affect the relationship for the rest of it but if you really love him you'll stay, if he really loves you he wont be able to do it again, we lets hope not. i want to die but at leat we arent the only ones!!!

I know you are deeply hurt, but you know him personally, you know much about him. All I have to say is this do you think is worth risking your feeling and emotions for a person who don't care for your feeling. He let you down once, Are you sure he won't let you down again.

My boyfriend cheated on me after I put all of my trust and hope into the relationship, something I'd never done before. It didn't even cross my mind that he would do such a thing. I didn't find out until a year after it happened, and there's a lot more to the story than just that. We're still together after 6 months of me finding out but I asked for every detail and the whole thing still haunts me and is still affecting me in a big way. I have no answer to your question as it's the most difficult thing in life to deal with and I think the decision will be different for everyone.

For me cheating is a one strike and your out situation.

Just break up with him. If he's wanting to work things out, you either caught him cheating, or the other gal either dumped him or cheated on him. Get out while you still can.

i've been there 5 months ago, when i read a chat of my boyfriend to a friend telling him he had cheated on me and that he is full of guilts. i was feeling earthquake inside me and i had my heart deeply hurt. I really love him and i understood that love is stronger than any other feeling caused by our ego.because it's our ego causing the suffering. Till then i thought love was about loyalty and commitment to one's feelings, now i feel love unconditionally without having my ego involved. i forgave him and continued as before without bringing the subject up every now and then. i passed through all emotional states, crying, laughing, thinking revenge (at no means doing the same), leaving him, staying to make him suffer, but i ended up to think of everything as worthless. it is a matter of facing your own demons as is for him.(he has to face his own damons if he loves you and doesn't want to lose u) the fact is cheating hurts but then both have to work by themselves to find balance.

Well, I've never cheated, but I was involved with a guy who cheated on his girlfriend with me. I didn't know all along he had a girlfriend because we were dating each other long distance. I thought he was sooo great, because the previous guy I was with left me to go back with his ex and this guy kind of restored my faith in men. Anyway, we got physical on more than one occasion and things were going fine until he told me one of his exes wanted to get back with him. I was upset of course, but I told him if that's what he wants to do then go ahead, I'll back off. But he didn't want me to back off so the relationship continued. Anyway, to make a long story short a friend of this guy's current girlfriend found out me and him were seeing each other (by this time, he ended things cause he couldn't handle the distance) and told his girlfriend. The girlfriend called me and asked me LOADS of questions about what happened and little did I know, she hadn't confronted him yet. So me and her both had to console each other on the phone and I had to be the one to tell her that her boyfriend and I slept with each other. Apparently, they had been together for 3 years and when I was talking to him, he was with other girls within those 3 years because he told me about a few other women he was dating, one of which he was considering marrying. At the end of the day though, his girlfriend literally took him back the next day and they are planning on getting engaged. I also found out that the ex he was considering getting back with was not the same girl he is with now. So he was considering getting back with one ex, was sleeping with me and cheating on his current girlfriend. To me, this guy definitely does not know what he wants and the girl is making it much easier for him because she forgave him right away. I was unknowingly the "other" woman and it upsets me. I didn't deserve to be caught up in a situation like this and didn't get anything out of it but heartache. It seems like they have each other and I'm here in the same place. But either way, I really believe she should have left him. He has no reason to feel bad or sorry for what he did because he never really had to explain himself to her. He definitely won't apologize to me cause that would mean he would have to deal with the situation which he doesn't want to, nor does he have to cause he doesn't care about me right now. It sucks all around... but honestly, you should definitely leave him. You know, it was a deliberate decision to cheat and for whatever reason your boyfriend wasn't happy at the time he did it, which is why it happened. He has disrespected you and by you staying with him you are saying its okay for him to do that. If it happens again, well to be honest, you allowed him to by staying in that relationship. I think people can change, but they will only do that once they are left with nothing and reform themselves. Maybe you won't be the girl that reaps the benefits of the good guy that may come out of him after, but by that time you would have moved on and won't care anyway. I remember the guy I was with told me specifically what he wanted in a girl and unfortunately, that is not what really what his current girlfriend has. So just so you know, as much as women would like to just sit there and believe that "it was just sex" most of them time it really isn't. Cause I knew a lot more about this guy then his girlfriend expected... if it was just a fling, he wouldn't have told me personal things about himself. Remember that...

Once a cheater is always a cheater. I am going through the same thing right now, except this isn't the first time he has done it. And the last time he promised he wouldn't do it again but here we are again going through the same thing. The worst part for me is that I'm 4 months pregnant with his baby. Trust me you don't want to be in this situation. Do you want to live your life wondering if he is or isn't? That's the question are going to have ask yourself.

Are there any loyal men in the world? or just ones that know how to hide it better...last night I found out my bf cheated on me about 6 months ago and that he was still in touch with this girl in a different country...we were moving to a different country to start our lives together in 3 months...now all my dreams have been scattered, and the trust is really really gone. I loved him like I loved no one, i took m mother's advice to learn how to trust and take chances, I did....and it broke my heart...I have no words to describe the need that I have of him...of the one I've been loving for over two years...the one that loves me so much and wants to build a life with me, the one who loves my family and makes me laugh every single day...now, I can't even talk to him...he was my everything...he sent me 3 text messages after I left his house and I didn't respond any of them. Since I couldn't sleep I sent him one at 4:00 am telling him "it's over", 'cause I know me and I know I will not be able to ever trust in him again... It hurts so bad.

My bf also cheated and is still asking for me back... and trying so hard....and i keep saying no, but he wont take no as an answer...all i want to know is the truth why he did it, but he keep denying...I wont take him back, cos if i do he will think i am ok with him cheating and will do it again after sometime....and this time he will be very careful and probably u wont know when he is cheating again

It depends. I'm in the same situation. It's been a few years since you asked this question. What was your decision?

As a good friend of mine said, Can you guarantee that "you" 10 years down the road will not cheat? There is no guarantee in life how a relationship will turn out. You can't control that as well, if you think you are strong enough stick to your decision and make the best out of it and if you find out after a few months everything just haunts you like crazy, don't force yourself and let it go. Good luck!

i have been dating my bf for 2 yrs now. at the time we were 3 months into the relationship. he asked me if he could borrow my car(since his was in the shop). he took me to work and called him when i went on my break (which he didnt answer).when he picked me up from work i told him to pass by the daycare to pick up my son. he decided to go in so i stood in my car. as i looked around i notice a hotel receipt in my car. i confronted him and he said that he was planning something for me and that i ruin everything. i told him if so call the hotel and get ur money back. few hrs later i asked him and he said he got a refund. i told him i wanted to see the bank statement. his reply was i get my statements at the end of the month. so a few months passed by and i didnt mention anything to him. we end up moving in together. a yr into the relationship alot females would call but if i was around he wouldnt answer. i confronted him about this as well.i knew from the start that something was wrong but i brushed it off. recently, (about 3 months ago) i said to my self enough is enough and im not taking this sh!t no more. so i went into in sprint acct and found naked pictures of a female. i placed the pictures as a background display (on my laptop). he told me he was going to print a few things out of my laptop. when he turn on the laptop he realized the pictures. he was speechless. i confronted him about this but he didnt say a word. so i call her. she told me that in fact, they have been seeing eachother and that at work she would spend the night with him (in the car)he is a firefigther they have 24 hrs shift. that night i told him to come clean but he said that he doesnt want to talk about it. i was so hurt, i knew all this time something was going on but i brushed everything off. i made a deal with him that if he comes clean that we will remain together.all i was worry about was knowing what really went on.. but all i got out of him was that in fact he was seeing that girl. he stated that 3 months into the relationship he took a girl to the hotel... my problem is that he doesnt want to talk in details went went on. he doesnt want to tell me how many times he has cheated, nor how many times he have seen these girls. he doesnt want to explain why he did this to me. he does nt want to talk about it. i dnt know what to do. i cant hug him without feeling hurt or angry. i cant even look at him anymore. he states that im selfish b/c i bring this up, i told him im selfish im the one that has to deal with this pain. i just want an explanation to all this maybe some of the pain that im feeling will go away or maybe not. im just to confused.. i need some advice soon.. pls help..

Everyone deserves a second chance... I cheated on my girlfriend as a freshman in college... Dumb mistake, but just that a MISTAKE... I have every intention of marrying her and having the most wonderful life with her... I'm not saying what I did was wrong, but to throw away a life of happiness for a college mistake is ridiculous! With that, cheating is cheating, but each situation is different so I hope you dont cut him off for a mistake when he's truly your soulmate. We're all human...

i belive that once a cheater alwayz a cheater.. if he did it once nuthn will stop him from doing it again .. i 4gave my bf 4 cheating n he cheated on me over 4 timez after that so i advice you to thnk very well b4 taking ths deciding..good luck..

my girl,once means many time, but if u do belive him, u can forgive him, there question that u have ask ur self is that, is he really sorry, or he is sorry cause he was basted,another thing, what makes u so sure that it was first time,for my side i dont think u should forgive him, he betrayd u, jusst take time and think about it.

I say break up with him. I dated my ex for 1 year and 8 months I found out that he cheated on me one night because i happen to ask him and he told me that he cheated on me twice!!! once at the beginning of our relationship and the second time on our one year!!! well i thought that i could handle it and forgive him because he said that he was sorry.. then i had to leave out of the country for 2 weeks because one of my family members was at the hospital. when i came back a lot of my friends were telling me that they say him with another girl while i was gone. i asked him and he said that it was not true. So i believed him then couple days letter his bff told me that he cheated on me with some girl!!! i believed him becuase he has been friends with my ex for years ever since they were babies. i finally broke up with him and he claims that he loves me but i dont believe any of that bs any more because one a cheater always a cheater. if a guy truly loves you then he would never do things to hurt you and he most def wouldn't ever cheat on you if he really did love you. so if i were you break up with him because all you are going to be thinking about while you and him are going out is how he cheated on you and there wont be any trust between him and you and that is not a good relationship!!

give him the boot your to good to be treated like that!

If you are really attached,yes.We all deserve a second chance in life.But,he really has to put a lot of effort to get that trust back.Just don't forget that you have to love yourself first.And he has to be too good to forgive something like that.And don't be with him just because you feel lonely.Don't ever do that.

My boyfriend cheated on me once too. I actually CAUGHT him in the act with the other person. It tore me apart and I told him right there that I would be moving all my stuff out of his place the following day. After he begged and begged for me to stay, I agreed because I wanted our relationship to work out. I should have left. Like other people have posted, I sit there and worry every time I'm not with him. I can't help but think that he might be doing it again at that very moment. Yes it happened over a month ago but it still hurts like it was yesterday. It might sound harsh but I would say that you would probably be better off breaking up with him. Nobody should have to put up with it and the good news is: YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

he cheated on you once.........why would you want to be with someone who had sex with someone else when they should have been having sex with you????????? take care....Brian....

please ignore every girl on here that says you should break up...you are lucky to find someone honest and brave enough to confess this imagine what was going through his mind when he was about to confess... that shows that he loves you and is willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship back to normal why would you leave him? that is just mean, 1. he was drunk, 2. its a girl,any guy in this situation would give in, he was just unlucky im still confused why you would break up with him.. what do you mean what should you do?? what??

It all depends what he learned from his last affair (good experience or a bad one). Did he have fun or was it a nightmare? How do I know? http://monsterette.com/index.php - A woman's training camp

My boyfriend of 9 months just cheated on me,,,im 13 and Heartbroken Love but im gunnaa give him another chance x

Well like everyon else keeps saying dump him. why? how long have you been together? has he proved to you that he is truley sorry. i think you should stay with him because you sound like you really love him and he loves you. yes relatioships are based on trust it will take time to forgive him and it also depends on the person about the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" thats b.s. you love him right? he loves you right? work it out.Try your best to forgive him and not to think about it don't let something like that drive a wedge between you 2. It hurts i know you need to learn how to handle this situation and so does he. forgive him girl and i doubt it will happen again. dont get back with him just yet, you two need space so you can forgive and somewhat forget it. ok hun. i wish you luck and you 2 the best.

Going through something similiar. As women we are private investigators by nature. I've found evidence and heard explicit voicemails for the 100th time. You will get to the point when you have to make a decision, you or me. But just know, you can't love anyone until you love yourself. I say, just take some time and redirect the energy you spend worrying about him and focus on you, and in the meantime Mr.Right will come when u least expect it lol

Hey hun, i dont think you should take him back. my ex cheated on me loads.but hed promise to stop. and i kept taking him back. but a couple of days ago he was caught in bed with another girl. and even though he says nothing happened. i wont take him back. because he shouldn't have been there in the first place. once a cheater always a cheater!!! remember how it made you feel when you found out. and if you think you can go through that pain again if or when he does it again then take him back. but i wouldn't!!!

Once a cheater.... always a cheater