ANSWERS: 70
  • Unfortunatley yes...I went crazy. When I found out I turned in to a physco for a little bit. I ended up calling the girl he cheated on me with and became violent. It wasnt pretty at all. I was so upset and I will never forget the day i found out!
  • These days, it's a rite of passage. Yes, I have. Extreme anger, crying, and alot of who, where, and why.
  • Nope, never have.This may have something to do with the fact that I don't bother with intimate relationships. At least not yet...
  • No, it has not happened to me. I did cheat once and paid dearly for it (emotionally). Learned a lot from that experience.
  • Yes I was..the entire relationship(?) was one of control and manipulation on his part so when I finally found out that he had a girlfriend I was pissed to the gills..then after I realized his make up I was calm and cool and acutally relieved to know that he was someone elses burden and bank account ( I think that he is in jail now)
  • Like you got stabbed in the back and the knife keeps turning
  • yes and i felt like i was crushed...i hated him for what he did.. he cheated on me twice... first with his ex and recently with an escort bitch...everytime he cheats on me he always tell me right away.. the problem is we far from each other and i know he has needs..but he should have left me rather than hurt me like this...he wants another chance,,,but i dont know if im still willing to risk it with him... i just feel so betrayed..lost.. insecure... for a man who i thought would protect me, i never thought that the same man will hurt me like this....
  • Yes, I've been cheated on. I felt like someone had stabbed me through the heart. I talked to the person that cheated on me,and i explained that it was wrong of him, and everything. He todl me he was sorry, and that it would NEVER happen agian. I told him i would forgive him, but i couldnt forget. ANd if it happened agian, it would be over. It never happened agian. ALWAYS give them a second chance. if it happens agian, let it go.
  • Yes and I wanted to die it hurt so bad. I have never emotionally and physically hurt so bad in my life. I gave him a second chance and he actually cheated again....and that is all it took for me to wake up and leave.
  • Feelings were a mix of betrayal hurt and sad..I got over that..I invited his mistress over..Look who is here to see you..even went out for drinks with the girls and took ol rosie along..said see ya later to him and filed for divorce went and had myself checked for std's in panic mode for the next 6 months
  • I felt like the person that they cheated with had a part of me with them. It was the worst feeling when my girlfriedn told me. And although she was trapped the pain that she gave another person what I thought was all mine hurt beyond description. I also felt like..what was wrong with me. That i couldn't do it for my girlfriend like that other girl could. She said it wasnt me. It was her. A mistake. But it didnt help. All I can say is that if you love that person and you can honestly believe they love you back. Then fight for your love. People can change. But they have to change within. And you too. Can move on.. but it will take time. But as well it must come from within. But as long as your holding that pain in and not letting go of the past it is holding you back. I hope my answer helped you in some way.
  • Yes, just a little over a month ago and still hurt everyday. He walked out on me and told me he didnt want to have to deal with it, he cant even look me in my eyes. I cry everyday because I love him so much. I was so good to him, and he cheated the whole entire time he says. And he is with one of them now, who he claimed to be just a really good friend. When I confronted her she says to me well me and you arent friends. I told her that had nothing to do with it, RESPECT was what she needed. And the worse part about it, she is his brother's wife's sister?
  • ive never cheated, but in every realtionship ive ever been in, the girl has cheated on me. its really weird becuase they say im the best that they have ever had, and they dont even orgasm with the other person. I have never understood cheating and probally never will. But over the past month a girl who i thought i was going to marry (kids names picked out) decided to cheat on me with her mothers boyfriend....ya..its something ill never forgive or forget. I can only hope yours wasnt as bad.
  • Yes I was hurt angry and felt betrayed. I left her and eventually filed for divorce
  • Yes... at first I fell into a state of denial and couldn't understand this was happening to me.... I was in that state a lot. I was extremely hurt and just wanted to give on all this. I felt like it was my fault; like I pushed them to it; like I wasn't good enough...
  • Yeah, I was cheated on by a girl that I was living with. Been together for 8.5 years and I walked in on her and the new b/f! It hurt so bad but I thought Id gotten over it until I found love again. Now I am very close to breaking this relationship because I have trust issues. Thing is my new girl is way way hotter! I think that doesnt help and I feel like Im more in love with her than anyone. Seem to suffer being lonely and lost but mind constantly races with thoughts of her oppertunities to cheat on me. She says she can never promise me that she will ever cheat on me but then again she never has in her past serious relationships...without cause.... : Aghh... minds going again. Anyone suffer this and manage to live through it? (Help needed)
  • I too was cheated on by my girlfriend of 9 years. I have never been hurt so much in my life and i am so lost because she is still the person i regard as my best friend and closest person who knows me so well. She now wants me back and i can see that what she has done is also killing her inside because she loves me. I wake thinking abbout it, i don't function at all at the moment and i go to sleep thinking about it. The hardest part is i now have to work out again what i feel for her and that is so hard with everything that we have done together over our lives together as well as this devastating mistake that she has made. I am a destroyed man in my heart and hope that i come through the other side of this okay.
  • Hurt. Humilated. Betrayed. Angry. Depressed. He was my first boyfriend. After the inital shock, I was happy to be rid of the sod.
  • Yes, I have been and by a few I was starting to love. I felt hurt, angry, betyrayed, and depressed. I ended up leaving my husband over it and all those other relationships didn't last long after I realized it was happening again. To me it's not worth the risk of having it happen again.
  • I felt angry and betrayed. I wanted revenge, but instead I had to let that BITCH, yes I said it, go.
  • i was cheated on by my ex boyfriend, i kept taking him back it happened three times (that i know of) i was really close to the rest of his family so it hurt like hell, i finally left him but stayed in touch with his family so its not so bad.
  • Yes, --it devastated me. It, for a variety of reasons, ended our 7 year (what I believed to be) solid relationship. It involved unsafe sex and other wonderful surprises (no- I am not HIV +ve, but I easily could have been).
  • Yes I have, and it was one of the worst feelings of my life, akin to the night I was raped ten years ago. Actually it was only four days before the ten year mark of that event. It just happened nine days ago, imagine that the man you love more than anything, tells you he is too ashamed to admit his betrayal out loud because he knows what scum he is, and that your 7-month old son is sleeping upstairs and that it's five am and you've been waiting up since 2:30 for him to come home, and every fiber of the life you thought you have crumbles into dust, and you can't even see anything that remotely resembles your past let alone your future. Yes people make mistakes, but those people are generally the ones that want to "stop talking about it, and move on". Well guess what it's not over just because the two of you stopped sleeping together after those two nights, I still hurt, I still can't eat or sleep or do my homework, I'm going to nursing school to take care of our son, remember? I hate you, and I hate you even more because as sick as it is I still love you and want to be a family with you. You better not let us down.
  • Yes, just 3 nights ago. We had been together exactly one year & 2 months on saturday. Saturday night we went to our bestfriend's birthday party and everything seemed okay. Our bestfriend's sister came home and was with us all and had a few drinks with us. Okay, not a few, alot. I felt really sick from drinking too much & decided I wanted to go home so i told my boyfriend that i wasn't going to stay because i felt too sick and the music was too loud for me and my headache so i walked home - two houses up the road. He rang me and wanted me to come back because he said he was missing me. I said ok if he walked up and got me and he said he wouldn't be too long. He never came. The next morning i rang him and his friend answered his phone and was like "i dont think you would want to talk to him right now, he cheated on you." I didnt believe him because so many people in our relationship always said that he had but it was never actually true. I rang him back later on and he answered and i told him what his friend said and he said it was true. :( I broke up with him right there & then. He just hung up on me. I rang him later on asking why and who with and all that and it was with our bestfriend's sister. When I asked him why he did it, he said he didnt want to but she fully came onto him and he said he just went along with it. He also said he was thinking about me the whole time and was feeling really bad. But then again he said it was the most fun he's had though because it was with a different girl. His words - "I've been with you every weekend for the part year & a bit, it was fun being with another girl for once instead of the same one all the time, i enjoyed it". Now I want him back.. He said he wants me back aswell but he knows that now he's dont it once he said he would probably keep doing it and he said he doesnt want to hurt me but he keeps saying he misses me and that he still loves me. :( I have never felt so bad in my entire life. I feel like it's all my fault, maybe if i dressed better, did my hair better, talked better, had better friends, did'nt talk to other guys, etc. I just feel like shit & worhtless. And all i can seem to do is blame myself. I really want him back, why is that? I mean.. if he can betray me like that and hurt me so bad then why would i want him? Help? :(
  • I'll never play poker with her again.
  • Yes, at first it was just shock. Then came sadness and then, ALOT of anger! I actually walked in on my then bf and the girl he was cheating on me with. So the visual haunted me for a long time. The only thing the helped me was time. It sucks, and it hurts badly for a long time, but you do eventually slowly start getting over it. I'm not sure the emotional scars go away. I still have some trust issues.
  • my partner of over 4 years had an internet rlationship with a girl alot younger... and i forgave him.. cos we had so much together.. then a year later he had sex with a girl also a bit younger and lied to me .. we are wstill together but every day i wonder why.... i lovwe him and i think he has changed but ... the pain is jst so cripling .. now im on medication for depression because i cant handle these feelings. and im currently at a loss i dont know waht to do??
  • I was cheated on by my former girlfriend and found out on...facebook, lol. I had a gut feeling something was up, but never questioned it, because I'm not the jealous type and had no reason not to trust her. Thinking about it angers me, because the two of them are still dating, and she has sent me messages saying things that I made her life better by being in it, that she loves me and that her bf knows this stuff. I ignore them and won't talk to her, as hard as this is to write, she isn't worth my time. I'm sorry but no self respecting person would be with someone who says that they love someone else. So it does help a tiny bit knowing that the two of them won't last, because I think that their relationship is based on a lie and I believe what goes around comes around. I'm a confident person, but it is definitely the worst emotional pain I've ever had and a huge blow to my ego. I don't sit around and mope though, I go on road trips with buddies, I go to the gym, I've taken up muay thai to harness and release my anger, I keep up with my sports, I go to work and I know that eventually this pain will go away and I'll meet someone infinitely better. Being cheated on has definitely reinforced my idea of never cheating on someone else that's for sure. I live my life by the golden rule, and what I'm going through, I can honestly say that I could never do it to someone else. So basically my advice is like all the magazines and what all your friends say, keep yourself occupied with things that keep your mind off of it, and when you do think about it, remember the good times and don't harp on the bad, but never take them back, they don't deserve you if they'll do something like this.
  • Yes...actually I am trying to deal with it now. My husband would text and call and give out his number to all of these women while I was working full time, then coming home and taking care of our two girls. We seperated for a couple months and are just now trying to work through it, but I don't know if I will be able to move past it, but at least this way I can say I gave it my best shot.
  • I was recently cheated on by a guy who claimed that "i was the love of his life... knew I was the one for him... wanted to spend the rest of my life with"... and so on. The details of my situation isn't what is important. I am not over it, and I cringe whenever I see something that reminds me of him. He is supposedly happy with his new girlfriend, and as much as I wish him the best, I am very angry and upset. It has been four months. I don't cry daily anymore, but my heart is definitely aching, and most likely always will, even if I meet someone new. I have been cheated on in the three major relationships in my life. The only thing one can do, is to acknowledge what is there, and learn from these experiences. Don't hurt yourself in the end by ignoring the signs. [UPDATE] - Now a year later, and he hasn't learned. He has three girlfriends in different parts of the state who don't know about each other. It pisses me off BUT, SOOOOO glad that isn't me anymore. I learned my lesson, one day though, WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND!!
  • Yes, I felt very hurt and betrayed., It took years to get over it.
  • yeah she cheated on our anniversary denied it split up with me calling me mad and then told me a month later strange and sad
  • After the shock and pain wore off (a little) I adopted this poem as my mantra. After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open. With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on Today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong And that you really do have worth. And you learn and learn and learn .... With every goodbye you learn.
  • Yes, this year (7th grade) a FRIEND i loved as a friend cheated off my test. I was torn apart.
  • The love of my life cheated on me and made a video and I found it. We are 400 miles away from each other so it's hard to watch him. I found the video and asked him when the last time he seen her and he lied then i was just about to pack up and go home but his best friend told me to talk to him so I confronted him. Needless to say that was the first time I had ever made him cry and it felt SO good. I stayed with him, we have been together for almost seven years and I honestly don't see myself without him. But now I am wondering if I did the right then by trying to forgive him and trying to work things out because he acts like it's not even an issue anymore. I am the one with the images in my head, not him. So I found this website hoping for help. I am having so many issues with it and can't seem to get all that negative stuff out of the way. And when I even try to talk to him about it he acts like an jerk. I am so sick of this but I can't see myself without him. I believe he is the one for me and I want to make that happen. Maybe I am focusing too much on that and I am blind sided by that?? I don't know what do you think???
  • Nothing I have felt so far hurts as much as being cheated on. I wanted to die, I got angry and told everyone then went into hiding, I could not leave the house. I still dont want to.
  • Yeah, my now ex-husband. Caught him in the act too. I was devastated, but I acted with grace and dignity. I cried and then I realized that I was unhappy in the marriage anyway. We tried to work things out, but I ended up divorcing him and taking him to the cleaners. Yay me!
  • Yes. I was cheated on by my boyfriend of two years (with my best friend at the time). It hurt so incredibly bad, and I still have trust issues some two and a half years later. I was mad at first, and then I calmed down and ended up taking him back. NEVER do that!!!! Two months later the same thing happened again. I was mad again, but I got over the anger and eventually got to the point where I felt like it was my fault. Like I did something to push him away from me. I still have mixed feelings and emotions about it. I don't understand why someone would want to put someone else through something like that.
  • First denial. Then when I realized that it was absolutely true I was angry. Then I was hurt. And now I am sad. I guess it's the same stages as any other sort of grief (like the death of a loved one.) I hope soon there will be acceptance and I can move on. It feels just like someone has died. The person you thought you knew is dead, gone forever, no matter what, even you forgive, innocence is gone forever. There will never be a time you don't forget that the person who is supposed to be your soul mate, your best friend, the person who you trust the most no longer deserves that trust. Can you trust that they'll be there when you are sick if they can't be when you are healthy?. Can you trust they'll give their life to protect you when they are the ones you need protecting from. You can never bring the person you once knew back. Some get a chance to try and continue the relationship after the cheating. Sometimes it works out, sometimes through the grief they find a renewed love, a stronger relationship, a person they never knew. Sometimes people are lucky. I didn't get a chance. I am not sure if that bothers me or not. I don't trust him, he lies, he betrays people, he is self centered, inconsiderate, lacks empathy and sympathy, cares only about himself and doesn't care if you are hurt or not. Do I want a person like that? No. I wish the person I thought he was, was back. It's like he has split personalities and the one I am seeing now I dislike very much. The one I saw before I caught him cheating was the kindest, most considerate loving person in the world. I would have given my life for him. I only give my sympathy to the person I realize he is. I feel sorry that he has to live a life full of deception in order to be the person he wants to be. If the one I knew came back, really came back, I'd take him back in a heartbeat. That will never happen, because that person never existed. He was created like people create characters on a game. It was all a game to him and when I shut the game off... I was thrown at the bottom of the pile with the rest of the games that he was bored with or disliked because they weren't fun anymore.
  • He is a low life
  • I was intially very hurt then angry then sad and am now resigned to the fact that he is weak, selfish and immature.
  • Yes and it hurt like hell, i threw them out.
  • Yes, more than I'd like anyone to have been cheated on. I was hurt. Deeply hurt. I stayed with her though, only for her to do it again and again. Damn, the things we do for love I tell you.
  • oh man i wanna hear the worst cheat stories. haha well it feels like shit.. my ex fiance cheated on me with 2 of my friends.. ON THE SAME NIGHT! she made out with both of them, gave them both lap dances and had sex with em multiple times.. i caught her through email.. so the feeling sucks.. but hey what goes around, comes around. its been 2 months since it happened.. im the best version of myself now both physically and mentally.. just a little empty inside hehe
  • i welcome death now because of her.
  • i broke up with my wife a few days ago after coming home from working in another country for a few weeks and finding out she had had another man in the house for 5 days. i even found pictures of what they were getting up to. the agony is unbearable and i even went as far as slashing my wrists. the thing that makes it so hard to take is that i still love her with a passion and would jump at another chance at our marriage, she is making me feel like the one in the wrong though as apparentely i "didnt give her enough attention". did i deserve this as a punishment though? i think not, i wouldnt wish this pain on my worst enemy. the thing is i know now i wouldnt be able to trust her ever again so the marriage is sadly over i think. as it is still quite early my emotions are still pretty raw. lots of crying along with bouts of anger and obviously a massive sense of grief and loss that the one i love and my whole life besides have been ripped away from under me so that she could have her 5 minutes of happiness and attention. i'm hoping time will heal me again but it going to take a while thats for sure.
  • I lost it in a very bad way! I felt much better when I got my revenge on her, by cheating on her. And it felt great when I thumped the guy she cheated with.
  • My wife and I were both in the military. She had an affair while she was deployed. I found out a little over a year after she returned. I received an annonymous e-mail the day after our second child was born. I was so devastated. It drove me to the point of considering suicide just to get away from the pain. I suffered from depression for the longest. I wanted to leave but diddn't have the self esteem to start over. I initially stayed only for the kids. And eventually felt that I'had invested too much to leave. Plus the fact I still loved her. I told her that she "owed me one", but never took it up. It's been 3 years since I found out. I forgive her and we have good chemistry but my experience is nothing I will soon forget. We are still together and doing fine. But I can never see her as the same person I did before now that I know she is capable of doing that. But its still one day at a time still learning to completly forgive and hopefully someday forget.
  • Yes. My reaction? Well, I wanted to forgive him right away and work everything out. I wanted to be able to forgive everything. I wanted to act like everything was fine and perfect. I wanted to build myself up so that people wouldn't think it was bothering me. What was I doing? I avoided my feelings of hurt and frustration. I shoved them away. I pushed them away. I tried to convince myself it was dealt with. I tried to convince myself I'd forgiven my boyfriend and the girl he cheated with. The truth is, though... that I have forgiven my boyfriend, and I only thought I'd forgiven her. I wrote a whole notebook about my feelings. I read it over and cried at the memories. There were good things and bad things I wrote in that book. Mostly, though, I was trying to blame myself for everything. Everything. Absolutely everything. I wanted it to somehow be all of my fault so everyone else involved in the situation would be blameless. I wanted to take all the pain in the situation and make it all mine and make it somehow be all of my fault. I want the girl to forgive herself, as much as I've felt like I hated her. I want my boyfriend to get rid of the guilt he feels, and hopefully he has. I felt and still feel like if I'd handled things differently back then, none of this would have ever happened. I wanted to get rid of the resentment and memories in my head. I even tried. I came on here to help people who have cheated with their problems to convince myself all cheaters aren't bad. I also came here because I remember before that people told me my boyfriend was probably cheating on me, and that's the real reason I got driven away from here last year. Well, he says he wasn't at the time people on here accused him of it, but still. I had a feeling that he did cheat on me, but I never had 100% proof until one of our mutual close friends said "I'm sorry, I can't promise you that.." My life shattered at my feet. Hallowe'en was the day I found out. I went to a party the next day and he hung out with me before I went and showed me how to use his phone and laptop in case I wanted to 'snoop' and even deleted her phone number from his phone. He held me through my tears and reassured me and comforted me that he loved me and hung out with me for as long as I wanted him to be there, even though he'd made prior commitments to go visit his friends. When I went to the party, I just sat in the corner and didn't really talk to anyone. I didn't want to cry. I probably shouldn't have even gone. My friend wanted me to be there, though. I spent time with her as much as possible. Well, people could tell there was something wrong, and they kept asking me, so I just ended up crying because I just want to be left alone when I'm that hurt. This contributed to her feeling like she did something wrong, but I couldn't tell her..."No, it's not you. It's just, I got cheated on... and I just found out yesterday." I couldn't tell her that. Not then. Not there. Not in front of all of those people. Especially not after she said she would go beat up whoever made me cry. Anyway, I was sooo mad. I tried to get over my anger that very weekend because I wanted it all over with and I just wanted it to go away. I sent e-mails to the girl I probably never should have sent. I signed her up for as many newsletters I could find. I signed her up for newsletters about STDs because her boyfriend's mom made him get checked for AIDS last year because of how much she hated her. I signed her up for newsletters about weight loss/losing weight because last year, she'd tell me how she wanted to be skinny like me. I signed her up for newsletters about men's health because this guy told me he used to go to school with her and him and his friends could never tell if she was a boy or a girl until this year. I signed her up for cock ring newsletters because those just came up for some reason. I signed her up for penis enlargement newsletters for the same reason I signed her up for the men's health news letters. She went crazy and thought someone hacked her e-mail and signed her up for a bunch of random newsletters. Apparently I sent her 30 because she sent me an e-mail back and said something like "I didn't appreciate all of those newsletters you sent, especially the one about Men's Health. It's a pain to unsubscribe from them all." She didn't send that message right away, though. It was after she found out I did it. I figured I'd rather her be mad at me than someone else who didn't do it, so I was honest about what I did. Anyway, that weekend I was crying a lot and I just wanted to be left alone. One of my sisters came and talked to me and tried to force it out of me what was wrong. She pushed and pushed and prodded me to tell her, so finally I did. I couldn't put what I felt into spoken words very well, so I just went crazy writing everything down on paper and we were just sitting there in our room. She was reading everything I'd written and we were passing papers back and forth. Writing, writing, writing. In the process, she ended up seething with anger and became even madder than I was. She even said at one point "I think I'm more mad than you are" or something like that. She was telling me how she would deal with it. I tried to discourage her against that, but she was intent on doing it anyway. She was mad to the point that she didn't care if she get put in jail for it or not. To her, the girl had fucked with ME, so there was no getting away with that. She wrote a letter, folded it up, and told me to give it to her. Anyway, at lunch time, I went to see if she was there and she wasn't, so I felt awkward and didn't know what to do with the letter. I knew my sister wanted me to give it to her, though, so I tossed it at her boyfriend's feet in a panic and walked away. When I left, I saw my sister and her friends and they asked me if she was there. I said no. Then she walked out of the bathroom (in tears, they thought) and went to sit there. Okay, so then they went in and talked to her. I knew that if I wasn't there, they might be tempted to beat her up or something, and as much as I felt like I HATED her guts, I didn't want it to go that far...and I still wanted to know what was said. I made my way there and sat beside a friend of mine who happened to be there. Ugh. It was such drama. I felt at the time that she deserved it. I felt that anyone who said she didn't deserve it was wrong and was interfering. In my opinion, she created messes for other people and expected everyone else to clean them up. In my opinion, everyone was too nice to her and that's why she always got away with the wrong she did. In my opinion, she was a manipulative bitch who always acts innocent. In my opinion, she was wrong and needed to be told off. It didn't matter by who. You see, this isn't the first time she's done this. You may think I'm focusing on the wrong issue, but I'm really not...if you know the whole story. Not only did she trick him, but she tricked ME. The hate and loathing and anger in my heart, I tried to silence. I tried to kill it. I tried to destroy it. I tried to let go of all of the resentment, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't go away. She messed with the wrong person. She knew what she was doing the whole time, and still managed to find a way to make herself sound innocent. To me, she was guilty...completely. No, this does not mean that I am focusing on the wrong issue. I was before. Now? NO. NOT AT ALL. She openly walked all over my trust, manipulated so many situations to make herself look like the best person of all, made it out that I was the bitch last year. She'd be sickly sweet and nice to my face in front of other guys, but when it came down to the two of us in private, she would be downright cruel and nasty. Whenever she'd yell at me and bitch me out, her boyfriend would just sit there and watch. However, when people bitch her out, there's hell to pay. I'm just a scapegoat in a larger game. A game of mind control. A game of manipulation. I want nothing to do with it anymore. I found out later that a lot of the people who had left our 'circle of friends' had left because of HER. They confided in me that they knew she was a drama starter all along and that's the real reason they left. She'd hurt them, too, but she is the kind of person who you have to actually GET hurt by her to understand how damaging of a person she can be to others. My relationship is not the only relationship she has fucked around with/meddled with. My boyfriend is actually a very kind, considerate, and thoughtful person who put his trust in the WRONG person. No, I'm not making excuses for him. I'm not just saying this because I am with him. I am saying this because it's completely and 100% true. No, I'm not a naive fool for believing this. I'm done with all that crap. She is a con artist, and we unfortunately fell prey to it. However, I have watched him grow from literally a boy to a man through all of this and that has helped me love him more and more and more. He has definitely learned from his mistakes and doesn't plan on doing it any time soon. I knew in the beginning that it was out of character for him to cheat. He really thought he never, never would. He was so sure of himself. Then he ended up in the clutches of an immature, lust-driven, slutty girl who knows how to manipulate otherwise faithful guys into getting what she wants. That's the real reason I believe her boyfriend stays with her after all of this bullshit.Anyway, it's a very long and complicating process, but the people who know my boyfriend and truly know him....know. He's not a bad person, really. He is very kind, thoughtful, considerate, polite, generous, and faithful person. He has learned his lesson and he has shown that he has. I knew he was sorry before he even apologized. It's a shame that she destroyed his friendship with her boyfriend by being such a slut. However, her boyfriend thinks my boyfriend is the one who cares about sex and only about sex. Go figure. He's stayed with me without having it for awhile and hasn't cheated again after. The only person he's ever cheated with is her (and no, not because she is 'special' or anything). Her, on the other hand? The same cannot be said. His apologies are very rare. He will only say them if he absolutely and 100% means them. Hers? No. They are consistent and her actions show that she is not sorry at all. So yeah. As far as I'm concerned, with him, it is dealt with. With her, it is not. I don't want to talk to her ever again unless she's going to be 100% honest about what happened. Will that day ever come? I don't count on it. This whole thing has taken a major toll on my education and I've lost interest in school. If I fail my courses, it's no big deal to me. Not graduating in time is not as painful as knowing someone who promised to help your relationship work out for the better is the very person who singlehandedly destroyed the stability in your relationship and continues to make excuses for it.
  • I have. It was the lies, feeling I was going crazy, smashed hopes & dreams, knowing I was right in the first place etc. that made me feel so devastated, I think. I felt like I was being made a fool of. The hurt, anger, fear and sadness made me feel like an idiot for even trying to trust someone. Hey, that was years ago, and I am over it although, it still affects the way I relate. I know now that anyone can do anything at any time, and if they cheat on me, it's more about them than it is me.
  • anger then hurt then anger
  • yes i was infact i just found out on friday night the 16th my heart feel to my stomach. I hated him and what he had done and the excuses he gave me made it even worse. We have been married for not even 5 months i am a devoted step monm to his son. And my goal was to make my husband and step son happy. Little did i no he just didnt think that was enough. I got a phone call from my sister inlaw she was the one that found out. I love him so much and most people think in stupid and i think maybe i am to but i want to try and put this behind us. How ever the last 2 days my mind wont let me i dont no if i can move past this even with as much as i love him. The trust, respect,self esteme its all gone and i dont no how to deal with it all. signed trying but not sure i can
  • hurt ,angrey,hurt,upset,angrey
  • One of the worst things about it was that she technically wasn't even cheating. She had asked that we take 2-4 weeks apart (keep in mind she said it was purely for us to sort of take a small break, not to see other people). It was on that second night we were apart that she slept with another guy. Later I came to find out that she had been interested in that guy for quite before our 'temporarty' split. She wanted that time apart so she could be with that guy.
  • I didn't realize that he was cheating till he filed for divorce. I am glad he did file.
  • I just found out(Wednesday Jan 21) with a definitive answer that my girlfriend of 4 years was cheating on me (she said maybe a month, I'm guessing more like 2 or 3). We had bought a place together and her brother was living with us. The relationship had been fading and the person that she cheated on me with was someone with wom she works. Friends whom I have met through her have even called me this week to say that she was wrong and they are even questioning her friendship with them. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get easier, but I know one thing is for sure: I will not take her back. Anyone who puts you through this type of pain, especially one who was cheated on before who knows this type of pain, isn't someone worth your time. It hurts like hell and I still want to cry, but now it's time for me to be me. Stand up for yourself and don't be afraid of what's out there waiting for you. I'd rather live with anger and pain than guilt and ridicule. And for God's sake, DON'T TAKE THEM BACK! Be who you are for someone else who will appreciate you and DEFEND you from feeling this type of pain. The easy roads usually lead to the same place, so keep an open heart, blaze a new trail, and someone worth your love and affection will be waiting.
  • It was my first introduction to what a rotten relationship I had, I divorced the bast***.
  • heheheh i found out last night that i was cheated on. ive noticed lately that she was acting weird and when she left me (she lived in my house) she left her emails up on my computer...so i went through it and found out shes been talking to some other guy. she normally lives about 600 miles from me and we've been dating for 2 years, talking for 3, and a couple days ago i flew up to see her and drove back down (10hr drive) to my home. we went around visiting family and friends on my few days off telling everyone that she was staying for good this time. and on my first day back to work, i noticed some fishy stuff but i would have never though she would do what she did. well in the morning i asked her to come to work with me, she said no because shes tired, then i came home on break about an hour after i got in to go home and take her out to eat. we ate and i dropped her off at home cause she said she was tired. a few hours later she came up to my job and said that she was going around town and to give me my phone charger. i never though anything of it... well i went home really early to take her out to eat and catch a movie...i got home and all her things were gone. she took the dog and left all the clothes that she didnt want in my room. at first i was pissed then finally i started to snoop around....found her email read it and all it said was Guy: why did you leave me? i thought you said you loved me?? My ex GF: dont worry baby ill be back saturday...i love you...if you would still have me that is.. i was heart broken. never though she would do this to me. but i quickly got over it...i just cant believe i was duped and i feel stupid for it...it doesent matter that hoe aint messing with me again
  • Four weeks ago, I found out that my wife, who I married in September last year (2008) cheated on me before the wedding and kept cheating afterwards. She was the love of my life and I've gone a bit nuts I'm afraid. I have NO IDEA how to cope with these feelings of loss and betrayal and anger against someone I love with all of my heart and soul. Half the time I want to call her up and beg her to sort things out and make things work; half the time I want to kill myself, and make her and the guy have my blood on their hands forever. I want to tell her I love her; I want to tell her she's a treacherous bitch. It seems so damn easy for her. She's already dating other guys openly, just weeks after our separation, and it's just been killing me that she was with someone else on Valentine's Day yesterday. It seems so unfair that she cheated on me and has no consequences, while I'm suffering an emotional hell.
  • I have and she cheated me when she was pregnant of our first son.I felt bad and put the trust down but now i forgave her and i know she won't do it again.
  • yes... three times. the first time i went nuts, a mate was the other girl and she thought it would hurt me by telling me... unfortunately i heard from all our other friends what happened. The second time it was my flat mate... also went nuts. The third time was the worst coz i was actually in love with him. I had been away on holidays and he wasn't the type of guy who could be left to his own devices for too long. I was devestated for that one, just didn't see it coming.
  • Yes. Reaction ~ shock and withdrawal into self. Some time had passed before i found out, and *apparently* because of that, I was just to get over it and get on with it. Feelings ~ disgust, low self-esteem bla bla bla ..... yes we're now divorced
  • I was cheated on while stationed away from my family in the military. My wife of 8 yrs and highschool sweetheart. She would tell me she loved me and would rent out rooms with her boyfriend she maintained for an entire year. I got back to my wife and kids after a year and noticed immediately something was off. She wouldnt kiss me fully and would have secret conversations her cell when I wasn't in the room. She told me she wanted to seperate one day after I got off the plane to see my family. She wasn't even there to pick me up, she finally showed up late. Before I headed to my next overseas duty station she wanted to get back with me. Like a poor chumm I did, and I didn't want to risk losing anymore time with my kids. I said ok about getting back together, except I had to leave overseas before my family. They showed up 2 months after I had arrived because of passport issues. I found pics of her and her boyfriend with their shared email address. The toughest part of my life hands down, I continue to gringe at the site of cheating spouses. The two months she was away she was still having sex with this guy. Inturn, I contacted an old woman friend of mine and started a relationship with her, while my soon to be x was still in the house. It killed her seeing me happy with another woman. She cried for days on in and I had no remorse whatsoever. The only part I regret is having my children her cry constantly. Was I in the right? She never left. I finally broke it off with my new girlfriend but have never told my cheating wife that I love her cause I don't. We are only together for the kids at the moment. She wants to get back with me, but I can't love such a lying cheater. Does anyone have any useful recommendations?
  • I was cheated on while stationed away from my family in the military. My wife of 8 yrs and highschool sweetheart. She would tell me she loved me and would rent out rooms with her boyfriend she maintained for an entire year. I got back to my wife and kids after a year and noticed immediately something was off. She wouldnt kiss me fully and would have secret conversations her cell when I wasn't in the room. She told me she wanted to seperate one day after I got off the plane to see my family. She wasn't even there to pick me up, she finally showed up late. Before I headed to my next overseas duty station she wanted to get back with me. Like a poor chumm I did, and I didn't want to risk losing anymore time with my kids. I said ok about getting back together, except I had to leave overseas before my family. They showed up 2 months after I had arrived because of passport issues. I found pics of her and her boyfriend with their shared email address. The toughest part of my life hands down, I continue to gringe at the site of cheating spouses. The two months she was away she was still having sex with this guy. Inturn, I contacted an old woman friend of mine and started a relationship with her, while my soon to be x was still in the house. It killed her seeing me happy with another woman. She cried for days on in and I had no remorse whatsoever. The only part I regret is having my children her cry constantly. Was I in the right? She never left. I finally broke it off with my new girlfriend but have never told my cheating wife that I love her cause I don't. We are only together for the kids at the moment. She wants to get back with me, but I can't love such a lying cheater. Does anyone have any useful recommendations?
  • not that i no of
  • I have been cheated on before. It broke my heart into a million pieces, mainly because I was led to believe that the baby she was carrying was mine. A DNA test proved otherwise after she was born. I sat there crying like a little kid with that test in my hand. I just couldn't believe that a person could do that to another. She had cheated with her ex and had HIS baby. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was suspicious of her ex after he had suddenly popped back into her life after so long. What really did it was when I was at the mall with some friends and I just so happened to run into her there walking with him. As much as she reassured me he was just a "friend," I didn't understand why she didn't tell me he was back in the picture. And even atthat time she was around 4 or 5 months pregnant! It definitely changed me forever. My trust issues with women only go so far. That situation is the biggest reason why I keep my distance from women who keep exes around as so-called "friends."
  • i was cheated on my boyfriend of two years, we had been living together for a year.. i didn't find out he was cheating on my until january 4, but it had been going on since before october - i found this out only about a week ago.. the most painful thing is that he never even said sorry, i helped him move out.. gave him money to pay rent and i was very hurt but i wanted to go to councelling because i loved him so much he said he didn't want too.. now it's as though i dont exist. i'm so confused because if i send him a text he'll ignore it...or calls but he texting her 24/7 so i know he recived them, and then sometimes he'll randomly text me saying, do you still love me? and i wont answer of course... how could i. i say, why does it matter now, i'm nothing to you. the most confusing part is that im really sick right now, and when he found out he came to my apartment to see me to make sure i was ok, but then he told me how he liked haylee now (the girl he cheated on me) but that he didnt like her before, yeah right? when i asked oh k, so your like tottally over me then? and he's like no.. and i was like ok but you like another girl he said yes.. i was like, who do you like more, me or haylee.. and he wouldnt respond he's like.. i cant compare you too ok,this was a mistake me coming over.. and then when he left once again, im back to being invisible. ive never been so hurt, ive lost so much wieght, all i want to do is sleep, i dont care about anythng.. its been almost two months.. i think im depressed :( i dont know what to do with myself.. i've tried so hard to just ignore him and not talk to him but im not strong enough.. i try every day.
  • My husband cheated on me and it has been hard and without God we would never be able to mend it.
  • yeah...I punsihed him and tore him apart..I bet he will think twice about cheating on the next girl
  • Yes. Not well. It's an emotional situation. You're not thinking straight.

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