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  • I would say it's up to the individual; but if people do decide to share everything, I wouldn't say it's at all stupid.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      then youre a girl.
  • I think it is up to the couples themselves what they share with each other but, if you are insisting on knowing it all then it is a trust issue and that should be dealt with. I trust my partner and he trusts me so we have no need to know or have access to anything like email accounts.
  • It's a stupid idea. If you're in a relationship where it's a sticking issue, get out now because after the password thing, something else will come up. Then something else. Before you know it, you'll find your S/O following you on your nights out with friends if s/he allows you to go out at all.
  • I think everyone needs their own space and it should be respected.
  • Yes, of people simply think on yourself. It's always been that way and it doubtless will always stay that way, too
  • It's not a stupid idea for everybody, I think it's up to each individual couple, in exactly the same way that some couples only have joint bank accounts and others have individual accounts. I know that my wife would never read her emails if I didn't open them for her and she would have no contacts on her mobile if I didn't put them on for her.
  • Everyone should be able to have their privacy even from their partners.
  • I think that it is specific to couple to couple. I mean, some couples prefer to have that type of information. With regard to my relationship, my husband is not a computer user, so he doesn't care anything about my laptop, except when it's acting up, and then he cares 'cause usually that means I'm pissed off. He did ask me to write down important information, so that if at some point, something happens to me, he'll know where to go for the information. (paypal/banking/etc) As far as other things, if I need something out of my purse, he ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to get it for me. He'd rather find my purse and bring it to me, rather than look in it, for anything... this extends to me being asleep, he'll wake me up if he needs something. I think that if you trust your partner completely, than giving them the access won't mean anything. If you have some element of mistrust, if you're in the beginning stages of a relationship, or are just the type of person where you prefer a level of privacy (and your partner is ok with that) OR, you and your partner agree to have things a bit separate, then no, it's not a stupid idea. However, it is relationship specific. My x and I had it like this, things were SO separate, that when he got in an accident in my van, he actually paid me for the cost of the bumper. I paid the utilities, he paid the rent. Things were VERY separate, although we lived together for 5 1/2 years and had a child together. I think, what is good for you and your mate, are the best for YOU. Sorry for the long/detailed answer...I've never been good with yes/no! lol!! good luck!
  • My lady and I trust each other absolutely. Some of the data I handle is classified, so she can't be allowed to see it. +5
  • my boyfriend and I have full access to each others info as neither of us have anything to hide and we fully trust each other. The only problem I see with it is if he looks and sees the surprises i am organising for his birthday and christmas
  • if you have nothing to hide why would it matter...its not as simple as giving it to them just make it available that in it self would speak volumes....and he/she would not check or should not check unless you give the s/o a reason...so if your screwin around yeah its a bad idea
  • I'm sure there are people who agree with you but you have to ask yourself is it worth creating mistrust if you have nothing to hide that would offend them or hurt their feelings or ruin your relationship. I don't do or say anything to anyone else that I don't have the courage to say to my spouse, well except my inner thoughts at time but thats because anger can sometimes twist how I truly feel and so what I feel or think today may not be my thoughts tomorrow.
  • No, you are not. "People with low self-esteem have their major difficulties in relationships with others. This is because they are unable to establish healthy boundaries or limits with people. The reason, for this inability, is that with low self-esteem comes a variety of irrational thoughts, emotions and actions which leads people to lose themselves in relationships with others. This absorption of self into others leads to a loss of personal internal control. People with low self-esteem have a weakened "internal locus of control" and become dependent on a strong "external locus of control." They become victims to being controlled by how others think, feel about and act towards them. People with low self-esteem are dependent on others' approval and recognition and are therefore fearful of rejection by and conflict with others. It has been estimated in the self-esteem literature that over 90 percent of us are suffering from low self-esteem at one degree or another. Therefore most people in relationships are currently suffering from low self-esteem or recovering from it. People with low self-esteem often have the irrational need to have "perfect" relationships and as a result they are often in competition for control to make their relationships be the way they think they should be. This competition results in the relationships' health deteriorating and eventually the relationship partners finds themselves in vacuous relationships with deep resentments and hurts. The partners find that they resent the others because of the belief that after giving and giving and giving they have nothing left of themselves to keep the relationships alive and well." "To maintain healthy intimacy in your relationships, you will need to first establish healthy intellectual, emotional and physical boundaries with your relationship partners. With healthy boundaries established, you will be able to establish and maintain a healthy intimate, physical, emotional and "Spirit filled" relationship with your relationship partners. First you need to identify if you have healthy intimate relationships with your relationship partners at this time." Source and further information: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14688-establishing-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships/
  • If you are truly in love with this person, you should have nothing to hide from each other. When you fall in love with that "special someone", you will understand the meaning of the above words.
  • No. Crossing personal boundaries is the beginning of a general loss of respect. Even married people need their personal space.
  • I think it's a two way street. Yes, I don't think that people should have secrets from each other (unless it's for national or some kind of security of others) but it's possible to still retain a sense of privacy while trusting someone fully. My husband is free to go anywhere he chooses, to look into personal stuff if he wants, but he also respects me and let's me have privacy, just as I give him his. It's like leaving your diary out for the other person because you trust them but you also know that they won't violate that unless they truly feel it's for the best of both of you.
  • My hubby and I do not share information, not even pin numbers, bank accounts, personal mail, He has no idea what I have saved, I have no idea what he has saved. We both have life insurance but neither one knows anything about it. We pay the household bills together but other than that we know nothing and IMO that is trust. I trust him enough to know he is doing what he should be, and he knows I am too. I couldn't imagine looking through his stuff, that would be a breech of trust, even asking for it would be. We don't fight over money, friends, or anything. He has his personal space and so do I. We have a mature loving relationship that is full of happiness. I don't have worry about what he is doing, and it's the same for him.
  • I agree with you LL. I do think that if there is a lack of trust, for a good reason, then it can be acceptable.
  • Um yeah, its only a stupid idea if you have something to hide and you're shady.
  • I´m one of those that definitely agree with you. Even if one doesn´t have anything to hide, doesn´t mean one´s partner should have access to all these things. If it´s about trust, I think giving someone privacy and not suspect that person for something is way more trusting than just opening everything up. But hey, people do what they wanna do with their relationships, I don´t jugde. This is just how I want my relationships to be.
  • Actually LL, I think you're quite smart ! My hubby does not have any info of mine at all...not even the access coded for "Our" banking!!! He likes to write bad checks,overdraw the account, and take the charge cards over limit !!! I have it set up with online e-allerts for everything, so I can stop us from going bankrupt ! Granted, not everyone is forced to go to the extreems that I need, but when I'm sharing on AB old memories, and dreams that don't come true, I don't want him to be reminded anymore than me. It's been very difficult, and he's stayed, so I try. Pre nups are the worst thing that can happen, but again, some people need them.
  • If you live with a woman she will go through every crevice of every little thing you got while youre out. And it wont help to lock a few things up because that'll get you a fight. Basically you no longer have any rights as soon as you hook up with a female. You need her permission, her approval FOR EVERYTHING. Mr Pants recommends get a dog and some porno.

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