ANSWERS: 23
  • what do your parents think?
  • The dating is not necessarily wrong, but it would be wrong for you to enter into a sexual relationship with him, both for legal reasons, and for the sake of your own self worth. I would tend to want to say to you, cool it for a year or so. You change so much in that time. I know that is hard, but I would not be happy at my daughter dating a man six years her senior, when she is only 16. I am not doubting that he is a nice person, but he should know better too. In another few years, the differences in age will not matter so much. All the best.
  • No. That amazing feeling is probably combined of pride in being able to attract an older man, and feeling flattered that he likes you. However, both the pride and the flattery are misplaced. Your relationship has to be covert because the two of you can't make it public without expecting a lot of social condemnation and, in some states, criminal charges against him. There is a reason people condemn these relationships, and a reason that they are a crime in some places. If you were 18 and he was 26, people would still be uncomfortable, but not as harsh. Right now, Anonymous, all it looks like is a guy who, for whatever reason, is unable or unwilling to date women his own age, and is taking advantage of your lack of sophistication and maturity. I'm not saying you're immature for your age. I'm saying HE is immature for his. And I'm not saying you're immature for your age even apart from that. You may be extremely mature (emotionally and physically) for a sixteen year old. But that's not mature enough to be dating a man who is 150% of your own age. Anonymous, this guy has eight years of adult life. You have less than zero. There's a lack of equality there that good intentions cannot overcome. If you think he's important to you, tell him to come back in two years, or 18 months, or whatever it takes for you to turn 18. If he thinks you are important to him, he'll do it. And meanwhile, date guys within your own age range. They may not be as sophisticated as he is, but --good-- teen men have a sweetness and openness to them which is long gone by the time they are 24. You are entitled to enjoy that now, while you yourself are a teen. Once you hit your twenties, just like the guy you're dating now, it will --not-- be appropriate for you to date teens. This is your chance, and don't miss out on it because of the thrill of being with a guy who is half again your age. This is not a guy you can be proud of in front of your parents. This is not a guy you can expect to take you to prom, or in fact, anywhere in public. This is not a guy who can go on double-dates with your friends, or fit in at their parties. This is not the guy for you at this time. On some level, you know that already or you wouldn't have wanted to ask us this question. And remember: if both of you think this relationship is worth something, both of you should be able to muster up the strength to stop it now, and try it again in two years, while dating other people in the meantime. Good luck, Anonymous. Be careful.
  • If my 16 year old sister started dating a 24 year old man, I would be against it with all the vehemence of an unstoppable rebel force. I simply would not allow it. The age difference disturbs me. I am the same age as your boyfriend, and there is nothing in any of the 16 year olds I know that I would consider to be "relationship material". That is not to say that they aren't intelligent, mature, funny people, they just have not had the life experience, nor do they currently have the life goals, that I am looking for in a partner. I want someone who has an established career and who has preferrably completed the bulk of their education - not someone who is 2 years away from graduating High School. I'm not saying that your relationship can't work - I'm sure people do it quite a lot - but, personally, I don't think it will last. If I was your parent, I would be wondering what this man's intentions were with my daughter, and if he was honest, I doubt they would be honourable. Good luck.
  • You're young yet. That amazing undescribable feeling is because it's your first 'love' and with an older MAN at that. I don't think it's a good idea to keep seeing him. You are still changing in your life and by the time you are 20 I will bet your ideals of the perfect man will change at least 3 times. I don't know what that 'MAN' is thinking, when I was 24, the thoughts of seeing a 16 year old 'KID' would never have crossed my mind. What happens when he goes out drinking with his friends? Do you sit at home having milk and cookies with your mom? I don't mean to sound harsh, but I would like to know what the heck this 'MAN' is thinking?
  • I don't see anything wrong with it if it's legal! When I was 23 I dated an 17 yr old girl, and her parents knew about it and they were totally ok with it! I'm 30 and I date an 18 yr old girl, so what? Like my Mom explained to me: ''an 18 yr old girl is an adult, she can date a 40 yr old if she wants to'' My Mom helped me understand this, when she'll be 30 I'll be 42, and I look very good for my age, in fact, she is the one that fell in love with me and persued me! Not the other way around!
  • anonymous - I don't know where you live but I know that here in England it is perfectly legal for your to have any type of relationship with this man. I used to date older guys when I was your age although my mum didn't approve. Now that I am older I realise that the guys who I was dating were very immature at the time and looking back, I wish that maybe I hadn't gotten involved so seriously at such a young age. But then, it's easy to say that with hindsight. He gives you good advice - sounds like a bit of a father figure to me I'm afraid.
  • Alarm bells are going off! The age difference is not right. Wait until you are 18. If you care for each other it will only strengthen your relationship.
  • Is he interested in your school sports team going to State? Is he interested in attending your school plays? Is he interested in hanging out with you and your friends...at the pool...at the coffee house...at the movies...at church...with your mom and dad? These are things that you should be interested in, and after eight years he should have let high school things go. Where can you two go and be a couple? The bar...a club...your folks house...his apartment? Where can you go with him that you won't be feel pressured to be an adult or be reminded that you're a teen? My advice to you - BE a teen. Dump the creep that can't get a grip on adulthood. Because maybe he'll still have his head in highschool after you graduate. What will do then?
  • If you keep it up eventually you will be seeing him behind bars. How would you feel if you had to live with that?
  • Quite honestly... boys your age will be immature and will probably muck you around a lot... At 24 he should be quite mature... but at the same time you have to ask yourself why he is going out with you in the first place? You're inexperienced and young. I'm 23 and the idea of going out with an 18/19 year old sounds good to me... 16 is too young for me... sure it would be fun but it would be socially unacceptable in New Zealand. The reason why I would like to date someone so young is because quite honestly girls mature faster than guys.. I've only got about a year of relationship experience... most girls have my age have at least a few years experience... I think a lot of people will be skeptical of your relationship, my best advice to you is not to over-estimate your own maturity, take things slow, learn the basics first... Good luck ;)
  • You said it yourself, you know it's wrong, and illegal. You know you shouldn't be together. What are you hoping someone to tell you? "Yes, it's OK to go against what you know to be true?" Will you use that advice as an excuse to do what you want? Will that make you feel better? You need to grow up and mature. End the relationship or you'll realize too late what a mistake you're making.
  • Does any of his good advise entail "maybe this relationship should wait until you are at least 18"? children having children can only lead to heartache.
  • Hunny i think u should be really careful about this decision that you are going to make.. I do definantly understand you point of view, as your proberly mature for ur age and you can relate to this person better than the younga boys, who jus play you around for fun.. But you should ask yourself this question does this person really like you for you? or is he taking advantage of you as there might be a chance or possibilty that your still naive and young.. i think you should take your time and dont rush things, and just be mentally prepared for the good and for the bad.. Good luck!!
  • I've been dating a 26 year old man and im a 16 yr old girl (17 next month) We aren't sexually involved (and i havnt been before him so i don't plan to give myslef to anyone until im ready) I have my head screwed on and we just talk and talk. We live seperate lives which are busy, but we make time for each other. I've been competely honest with my paretns and they do not approve(as would I if i was in their situation) and I see it as very exciting/and i am honoured he likes me so much. Not once when we have met has he tried anything inappropriate and we've been in all sorts of circumstances when he could have been. I also met him from the internet which was risky in itself however i met him and its fine, we've been dating for 3 months and have only kissed. I think that shows both of our respect and maturity. We kind of see each other as friends who really care for each other. The conversation never runs out and i have such an open mind and he has so much life experience to tell me about. I am totally comfortable with the relationship. I havn't told many of my friends about it because i know they will judge me, when they're in no position to do so. I believe he just really enjoys treating me and we've been out for dinner in the restaurant that my uncle owns and he had no problem with going in there. He WANTS to meet my family etc. I do however think to myself what am i doing? is there a psychological reason why i need to do this? and i havnt yet come to a single conclusion other than i am the most happiest i've ever been when with him. and it hasn't effected his work/my college & work I live in the UK so legally its 16yrs to have sex and technically i could have been sexually active for 11months but have CHOSEN not to and i will continue to be this way =] (Hope this helps/enlightens people!)
  • As long as you don't do anything that you are pressured into to doing. No one can tell how you are feeling but you follow your feelings. They will never steer you wrong.
  • If you love him and your parents allow, then date him and marry him.
  • I'm a father of two teenage daughters and while I feel their time is better spent hanging our with friends in their own age range and would be very unhappy about either of them dating someone in their mid twenties, I can totally understand the exhilaration and rush you must experience spending time with your twenty-four year old. It's great that you draw the line of what limits your relationship will go to, and that he respects them. If your parents are fine with it then so be it, and enjoy your time with your boyfriend. As long as you both keep it safe and sensible there's really no reason to not continue dating. However if they did disprove of the relationship and insisted you ended it (even if it was a totally non-sexual coupling - or just because they don't like him) your best bet would be to follow their wishes. You have to spend your entire life interacting with your parents, while boyfriends will come and go as you mature.
  • Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Your relationship is doomed unless you want to send him to jail for a long time. Not because you don't and can't care for hum or he for you. We live in a land of sexually mental midgets. The way this society handles sex is like a man before the mirror who once he turns away forgets what he looks like. When people see a man with a young lady more than 7 years his junior or near the age of consent they can't fathom the ideal they could be attracted. She has to have daddy issues or some other mental or esteem instability, or looking for a sugar daddy. He has her just as a trophy, sex toy, mid life crisis etc. She cannot be his equal or he hers. You basically have no choice because of the haters to wait until you are of age then thicken up your emotions for all the flax you and he will get.
  • no! Where are your parents? if a 24 year old shares the same interest as a 16 year old then shame on him.He should be interested in adult things not childish things.
  • I do not think that this is a healthy relationship.
  • 7-2-2017 Mary Cathleen Collins was 16 when she began hanging out with John Derek. They married when she was 19 and he was 51. She changed her name to Bo Derek and they remained married until his death.
  • If you two have sex it's not just jail time he'll be serving. It's very likely he'll have to register on the sex offender database. And don't be sending him no naked pictures of yourself either or you may both end up on there!

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy