I've been going out with a guy for about 3 weeks. He left his wallet in my car, being slightly nosy I looked through it and found he had some condoms in it. I'm not ready for that stage in a relationship. Should I talk to him about it? or break up?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 58
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Nah, don't jump the gun. He may be keeping the condoms "just in case", which is actually a smart thing to do. Don't refuse him unless he asks for sex.
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If you are not ready to even talk about it and would rather break up then talk about sounds like you will be doing just that, just to avoid the topic. But seriously? don't sweat it. If you want to talk to him, talk to him about it. Let him know you are not ready but if and when you will be, it is good to know he has them because safe sex is the best sex. Or, just let your relationship take its natural course. If you are not ready, and he isn't pushing for it, just enjoy what you got going so far and when the time is right you two will have "that talk" :)
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You're thinking about breaking up with him because he's prepaired to not get you pregnant? . Do him a favor and dump him, you're obviously not ready to be dating yet.
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all it shows is that he is prepared for any situation. he is being responsible. if he has not pushed you for sex or even brought up the topic then dont worry about it. give the guy a chance.
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How do you know he put them in there for you? maybe he is just a responsible guy.. You sound like you think he wants you just because you were nosy and looked into his wallet. I would be more concerned why you and he had to take your car..
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That's a pretty silly reason to break up with someone. He'd probably be more upset that you dug through his wallet.
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A lot of guys will carry them around all the time, "just in case". It doesn't necessarily mean he's intending to use them anytime soon. I'd say let it go.
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About what? THe invading his privacy part or the not wanting sex part? Either way he will probably see you just a little differently and never call you again?
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So, you want to break up with him simply because he's being a responsible person and wants to be prepared for whenever you decide that you're ready? I think that you have some serious issues that you have to face - and it's not your bf that has these issues.
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Don't let him use the condoms on you if they are in his wallet for ONE. They are broken down by the heat from the wallet and will tear easier. TWO ... if you are not ready he needs to respect that and not push you until you say you want to have sex with him. THREE .. You don't need to break up with him just because he carries around condoms, just ask him why he carries them in his wallet. If it's because he says just in case, then at least he is attempting at being safe. And shame on you for looking in his wallet ... maybe he was testing you to see if you could be trusted. But I hope all works out well whatever you decide.
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First of all, I don't condone snooping through his wallet. Secondly... they're just condoms. You should probably be glad that he's obviously thought about taking safe-sex precautions, and that it's a good sign that he's had safe sex before you. If he hasn't propositioned you for sex yet, why are you so worried? If he does end up propositioning you for sex, just tell him you're not ready for that yet. Either he'll understand and be patient, or he won't. You can figure out what to do from there.
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Well ... were they magnums or slim-fit? You might want to .... well ....
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And your line is? "Honnnneeyyyy..I'm a nosy bitch and dug through your wallet and found your condoms and I'm just not ready for that.."? I would hope you're not THAT dumb, but if you are any advice you'll get here will be disregarded anyway. Just take some good advice from people here and let it go...Unless you have a burning desire to be known as the nosy bitch who snoops through mens wallets... In that case..Can't help you.
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No but maybe he should break up with you for looking through his wallet. That's more than "slightly" nosy, sister.
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all guys carry condoms on them, virgins or not, just to be on the safeside. so dont dump him, just talk to him and tell him your not ready for that yet :)
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I would imagine if you told a man you had been through his wallet he would dump you anyway. That is a dreadful invasion of a persons privacy.
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Do him a BIG favor...break up! +5
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my dad has condoms he says i could use them
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Well first of all its kind of messed up that you'd go through his wallet. I've never even seen the inside of my husbands wallet... thats just a boundry you shouldn't cross... My man won't even look in my purse. Those are just private things you shouldn't go through especially if you've only been dating three weeks. Now that I've said that... just because a man has condoms in his wallet doesn't mean he intends to sleep with you. Men do that as a precaution just incase the moment comes... it is smarter to carry some then have none at all. If you tell a man that you went through his wallet... I'm pretty sure he's not going to want to be with someone thats going to snoop through his things. No offense...
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Hes just being responsible..
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Break it off now. You'll be doing him a favor. Nobody needs a creepy chick who rifles through his stuff, has no respect for his privacy.
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You have put yourself in a messy situation. Being nosey can be misunderstood as being disrespectful of one's privacy or you feel he is untrustworthy. You can not change what you have done. Just think before you do something like that. Secondly, talk with him when that time comes. He may just have them there if your desire to change the relationship happens. Jumping to conclusions is dangerous in any short or long-time relationship. Don't break up over this unless you are looking for a reason to be out of this relationship.
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Break up with him. Seriously, if it is so easy for you to consider it then you are not committed to him so just break it off and let him go and find a woman who won't invade his privacy. Besides, who said he was going to ask you for sex?
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don't freak out! EVERY GUY KEEPS DOMS IN HIS WALLET ... even the virginal guys, lolz. seriously, there are 11 yr old boys with condoms in their wallets - it makes them look cool to the other boys and this never changes. actually most guys have expired condoms in their wallets..they're been there THAT long. Just because a guy keeps condoms in his wallet doent mean he is expecting you to put out, he is just a normal guy who has a healthy dose of wishful thinking! Just let it be known, in a subtle playful way, that you aren't even thinking about sex yet and then change the subject. It's no big deal, you could be ditching a really nice guy over something stupid - truth is if he wanted sex you would def know it by now (3 weeks in he would be making it known). hope that helps! (^ _ ^)
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Men are concerned about sexual safety just as much as women are... Women tend to be the ones to ask for sex rather than men, even though it's been proven that men think about it more. Women are more open to asking. Men tend to be sex-shy because of concerns of how women will react to the size of their... Well, you get the point... Men are scared she'll say "it's too big" or "it's too small..." Anyway, back on subject; women tend to ask first, so it's reasonable for him to carry one just in case... Don't stress over it... If you're uncomfortable; talk to him about it... But don't expect him to be happy that you went through his wallet without asking... Hope this helps... :D
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Say nothing. Just be appreciative of the fact that at least this guy cares enough about the person he is dating to protect himself and his love interest from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. If you are not ready, just tell him so, but in a nice way. Don't mention about the condoms. That's tacky.
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I would certainly drop you for going through his wallet. It's a lot worse than only having condoms in his wallet
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So you would rather go out with someone who doesn't practice safe sex?
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Whether you're at that stage or not yet; don't you think it's a good idea for every man and woman to carry a condom just in case. I'd rather know they were going to protect themselves in some moment of uncontrolled passion.
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Oh, hell... Let it go. Many guys buy condoms when they are starting in a relationship, stick them in their wallets, and HOPE. That doesn't mean that much. If you like him, why are you worried about it? IF he pushes you to have sex, THEN talk to him about it. If not, go with the flow. You never really know when you (and he) will be "ready for that stage". Wouldn't you rather he be prepared, than you two have to stop in the middle of ... well, you know ... and have to go buy protection? BTW: See what "somewhat nosy" gets you? LOL ;-)
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you shouldnt take the condoms in a bad way at all. maybe he just dosent know the just dosnt kno the kind of girl that you are yet. he keeps them just in case which a lot of guys do. maybe u should give hium small hints about you jst not haveing sex soon.
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Wait for it and then confront him... It is nice that he thinks on safe sex
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I think that if you are so untrustworthy and nosy as to go through someone's wallet after a three week relationship, he should be breaking up with you. Didn't your mother teach you any better than to nose into someone else's private spaces? You don't open people's drawers or cabinets, wallet or purse.
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Should YOU break up with him for finding condoms in his wallet that you were doing your nosey through? Your choice, but let's check the facts first; 1. He hasn't pushed you for sex. 2. He is safe and responsible, the condoms are proof of this. 3. You were looking somewhere you know you shouldn't have been looking. Going on these facts, I'd say he should dump you, you're nosey, frigid, and jump to assumptions about a guy because of what you find in his wallet. Have you ever considered the fact that he wants to be ready for sex when the opportunity arises, or are you annoyed that he has the foresight to have condoms with him, making it more difficult for you to trap him by getting pregnant?
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No, don't talk to him about it. It's not an issue unless he personally pushes for sex. Odds are he just likes being prepared, even if he doesn't imagine he will be having sex anytime soon.
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Why on earth would you go through his wallet? Would you appreciate it if he went through your purse? I think that you should tell him that you are not ready for any kind of relationship because you seem very immature. Thank God you don't want to have sex, I cannot imagine you potentially breeding at this point in your life.
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I bet if he got drunk he'd get you a taxi instead of drive you home, what a piece of work he is!
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well, maybe he was jst being extra careful, when u are in opposite sex's company things might happen so quickly so it's good to be prepared. As long as he doesn't try to make a move on u deliberately, I would be glad that he is taking safety seriously.
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I would have been worried if he didn't have condoms in his wallet.
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Just think, if you had just left his wallet alone, you would not be asking us this question. Talking to him about it or breaking off your relationship is no answer. Just leave well enough alone. Once he discovers how nosy you are, HE may just forget about you. Suppose the shoe was on the other foot? you left your pocketbook in his car and he discovered your birth control pills. How would you feel? silence is golden. do it.
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Can't a guy dream? It might not happen soon, but he probably feels good about the idea that he is sufficiently prepared. Don't worry about it. Plus, snooping isn't cool!
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He should break-up with you for being nosy. You should - if anything - admire him for being prepared.
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tlk and he shouldnt keep em in his wallet the rubber heats up and snaps
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ummm if i wereyou i wouldn't do anything... seriously before i even thought about sex i carried a couple codoms in my purse, not because i was thinking about sex but you never know what could happen, like if a friend needs a condom...or something, i still carry a condom with me and my boyfriend and i have stopped using them since i've been on the pill, not for me but for other people or in case of an emergancy, like i forgot to take my pill then i need to use a condom
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First of all you shouldn't see what he had in his wallet, so pretend that you didn't look anything and give him back whithout a word until the subject about sex arises
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If he comes on here and says he left his wallet in someone's car and they went through it, so what should he do, I would say find someone who respects your privacy.
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Talk to him, don't beat around the bush. Most importantly don't make it an angry talk. Wether people want to admit it or not, we are all attracted first by the physical presence, then the mental. at least he's thinking safe sex.
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I remember I used to carry around a condom in my wallet when I was like twelve and there was no way anyone was having sex with me. I guess it's was just a dream. Guys do that. I know a lot of guys especially in their younger days carry condoms in their wallet. Then we get smart and start keeping them in the car away from our snooping girlfriends. And then when the relationship gets serious we stop buying them.
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When things get hot and heavy you'll be glad he's concerned about his and your safety and that he's being responsible. Make sure though that it hasn't been in his wallet for a long time as the condom could tear or deteriorate if its been sat on in his pocket or stuffed in his wallet a long time. You may think he's a player or that he thought he was going to have sex with you - but keep this in mind: the last person I was in a relationship with had kept a condom with him in his wallet for about a year before we met - and never had sex during that time. So give him a chance and scope it out. If the time comes and you're worried the condom is bad check it out first. Really you only need to see the packaging. If you press the middle together with your fingers gently and there is no bubble of air - hmm.. like if your fingers touch together easily, don't use it. If its tattered, torn or losing its label in any way, don't use it. There are expiration dates on them as well. Don't worry too much =]
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Take the condoms and put helium in them and put your address on them and let them go.See if they are returned and if they are then you can have a pen pal!
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so you snooped and then you found some rubbers by snooping now your upset because you found something while snooping...mmm now what does that tell you DON'T BLOODY SNOOP!, First off if your not really B/F&G/F then its none of your business if he has rubbers in his wallet, second thing is at least you know he's into safe sex, third thing if I was you I would keep my mouth firmly shut because if he finds out you went snooping through his wallet he could lick your arse to the curb
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Oh come on! He hardly handed one to you and like winked. Being prepared is good. And I wouldn't go mentioning it to him that you went through his stuff... And you've really got no reason to break up with him.
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what you found in his wallet should give you a pretty good hint what he wants.it was wrong for you to go through his wallet but i guess it was a good thing to.sounds like he's prepared for who ever he goes out with.i would let him go,who knows who he's been with and what he may have.don't take the chance.just tell him the two of you don't have anything in common,and its best you both went your own ways.your smart by giving it second thoughts.life is too short by making the wrong decissions.i don't know how old you are but life has so many things to offer you without taking the wrong forf in the road.you decide what you want to do with your life,don't let somebody else decide for you...sincerely pete
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What makes you think that the condoms were for you? He may carry them for a "just in case". However, breaking up with someone over that is quite trivial. There are bigger problems to be dealt with and if you can't communicate your simple wishes with him, sounds like you're not ready for a relationship period.
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Break-up with someone for being sensible & cautious????? Dont be a plonker!
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Could have been worse - you could have found a picture of his wife and kids!
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Many of us guys carry a condom without the slightest intention of using it. Chances are, he had it long before the 3 weeks that you two have been going out. don't talk about it unless he drops hints that he wants some. After all, you aren't supposed to know its in there.
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i had one in my wallet from age 16. i didn't lose it til 19 best to have been prepared tho. you shold be glad he's being smart about it.
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