ANSWERS: 13
  • Well your mother maybe offended. But if she knows you do not get on with him. Maybe she will come on her own
  • It would be asking your mom to choose if you don't, I'd be polite and ask them both, you don't have to spend any time with him :-)
  • I think you would have at least learned in college that everything doesn't smell like roses and that you sound like you are above that childish level - just kill him with kindness - works every time!
  • If you love your mother, yes, you need to invite her husband. You may dislike, even more.... but honestly, you need to understand that your mother loves that person and so perhaps put your emotions aside if you wish to remain close to her. Find something to respect in the person, even if it is only that he makes her happy. My father remarried when my mother died. None of us kids liked his new wife. But we mostly tolerated her, dealt with her the best we could. She was Dad's love, so.... she made him happy. When Dad died we found that the tolerating and patronizing did not do us much good as far as being given family things (photos, gifts we had given) - the witch cut us off. But while he was alive, we gave him no reason to think she wasn't important. It takes a big heart to include someone you don't like in your life. But it may well be worth it if you wish to keep the love between you and your mother.
  • Just a personality clash? Let it go. You never know, this might open up new doors. Be happy and maybe it will rub off on your relationship. If he is really a bad guy, don't let him ruin your day.
  • you don't have to invite him, but it would be a nice gesture, for your mother's sake. you'll be spending very little time with him/them anyway, the day of the graduation. go, enjoy your day and revel in your accomplishment!! congratulations
  • At a graduation ceremony, you sit with your fellow graduates, not with your family. Then you walk on the stage on your own, and go back to your fellow graduates. If you invite your mother, you will be asking her to sit on her own throughout the ceremony. So you could invite your mother and her husband, but have a chat with your mother to explain your misgivings, and ask her to talk to her husband and ask him to "behave" for the day
  • Unless there is something really underhanded between you, such as he behaved sexually towards you, or he is a drunk who tends to cause major problems at such affairs, I would say invite him. Not because you feel you have to, but because you love and respect your Mother. Of course another option is to speak to your mother about it depending upon how close you are to her. Doubtlessly she knows there are issues between you? If the issues are ones totally unacceptable, such as mentioned, I would tell her you can not and do not wish his presence, assuming she already knows of the issues. While it is important to attempt to be polite, there are some issues, where I personally would feel comfortable drawing the line...and inappropriate behaviors of a sexual or drunken type are exactly the issues I do not tolerate in anyone. If it is simply that you tend to disagree on some trivial matters....I'd thank him for coming to share my day and then graciously absent myself to attend to other guests.
  • Sadly, yes. I have learnt from experience that as much as you don't want to acknowledge that your parent has moved on, you would have to live with the fact. I have had 2 step fathers, till date and 3 step mothers. I hated each one of them, as they came, for obvious reaons. Ironically, my first step father is more in touch with me than my genetic father and my second step mother still remembers my birthday, calls to wish too. *smiles* I am not proud for how I behaved with them, at present. But it felt okay to be a "biyatch", at that time. All I would want to tell you is, I found love where I sowed hatred. What all would I have got, if? *stares, obliviously*
  • Its your graduation you dont "have" to do anything. But for the sake of peace in the family I advise you to include him. Look at it this way. He doesnt want to go, and you'll get a present out of him.
  • If you love your mother, it is great to "love" her husband, your stepfather. You need to change mutual dislike to mutual "affection" with greater effort and devotion. You can use graduation ceremony as the first step towards your effort.
  • When you have a dislike for someone what is the point of calling that person and spoil your own mood? Avoid calling anyone who is going to create problem for you. You can give your mom a proper invite and leave the rest to the wind. If he turns up just go about your day as if he does not exist but please do not spoil your day! Remember this day is NOT going to come again for you!Acceptance may come later on.Today it is just plain dislike so just let it be!
  • Unless you really want to make a lifelong enemy, who could possibly turn your mother against you, yes you do. Besides, you don't really have to interact with him very much in all honesty, do you? I mean, you will be a little busy up on the stage. Be the bigger person and give the lout a chance to mend some fences. If he chooses to behave badly, you can explain to your mother at the next event why you have invited only her.

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