• Sure you can say no. You have to. Children have to know their boundaries. The best way is to get down to their level, get eye contact and say "No" loudly and firmly each time they do something. If they cry, you shrug your shoulders and say "Learn to live with it honey. The world is full of things you can't do." If they repeat the action, repeat the no. You can even introduce questions such as "What did mummy say?" and "I'm going to count to three." If they do not obey, move them physically away from the problem. It may take a while, but most children get the message. Be firm. Carry out threats. I once told my three yo that if she did not put away her toys, I would send them to needy children in Vanuatu. I did. One day I came home from work and my mum said,"You know what your little one said today? We found a bag of toys in the garage and she said, "Oh dear, my toys are going to Vanuatu!" and sighed." (they were, in fact, only there for storage, but she knew the drill.)
  • You can say no, but be sure to give an explanation and be sure that it really means something. I have tried to think "Do I really need to stop them, or is there any harm? before telling my children "No". So yeah, I let them jump on their beds. That's fun for kids and it is highly unlikely that they really will fall and break their necks. No, I don't let them have ice cream for dinner. I believe that when "No" becomes overused, it loses it's meaning. My kids know that when I give them a time out or set limits, I have a good reason, even if they don't understand it. I also try to use "I statements". Example: When you say "you need to finish your broccoli" what you really mean is "I need you to finish your broccoli because it is healthy and I will feel better about giving you seconds on your garlic bread." Also, this is my answer to a similar question: I have found that natural consequences are really helpful because they get the child to think. If, for example, they lie, then they should learn how lies affect trust. For a week or so, ask them to prove different things they say or do. If they get home after school to an empty house, they need to sign in or call when they arrive. Or when they brush their teeth, check thoroughly. You get the idea. If they stole, they need to pay back the amount of the stolen item (even if they returned it) and they cannot borrow or receive anything from that person or store for a month (week for someone younger). These types of consequences have real-life applications and really cause kids to understand how their own deviant behavior affects themselves and others around them.
  • I feel for you because my 3 year old really pushes the limit. I have to say that Nanny 911 has been very helpful. We do use the naughty corner or mat and it has worked. Right now, Sophie has a real hard time following directions and if we have to ask more than twice, I start counting to 5 (really loud) This works alot but if she reaches 5 then its the removal of a favorite toy. (works for her but may not for others) When all else fails--its spanking Good luck.
  • yes i can. i am the "bad cop" at our house. my husband is the "good cop". because of this he has a harder time getting them ready for bed or eating dinner. sometimes being the " terminator" is not a bad thing.
  • i dont think spanking is wrong, if your going to say no to them make sure you always back it up with something. Explain why what they did was wrong. Also, watch nanny 911, its a great insightful show believe it or not, it teaches you tactics for disiplining your children without spanking them.
  • If you don't say "no", you aren't being a good parent. Children need to learn boundries. The key to making sure "no" works, is that you never NEVER back out of it. If you say "no, you can't have candy", but eventually give in to a load of whining, then they'll know they can get you to give in.
  • I work in a childrens centre and therefore obviously no kind of physical punishment is allowed to be used which i personally feel is appropriate i would not like to physically hurt a child but that is my choice. There are many ways to "punish" children but its helpful to communicate and talk to your child about why they have done something and helping to avoid a problem which ok isnt always possible, them knowing if they do something they shouldnt there will be a consequence is important, if there doing something they shouldnt they should be warned "alex if you climb up the shelves again you will be sat down with a timer, its important this is carried through and all adults are consistent. of course it depends on the age of the child and what they understand you cant begin telling a child off if they dont understand what they have done. Here they need to be explained what they have done and told why they shouldnt do it then if they did it again they would be doing wrong, it would be unfair otherwise. The child will respect the adult that is reasonable and fair but firm about boundaries it doesnt make you the "horrible one" . secondly if its something like a child wanting to have the blue t-shirt on today why cant the child chose what they want to wear within reason for example... "what would you like to wear today jesse its very cold out do you think you can find something nice and warm to wear? of course you cant always give choice for example when it comes to dinner and you've made sausages and mash for example and the child says they dont want it then tough they wont get that yummy pudding you've brought if this was always the rule then they probably wouldnt play up as much (coming back to consistency) again it depends on the childs age and understanding as to there expectations and suitable punishments
  • Your job as a parent is to say no. Your number one purpose in life should be to raise a child to be a productive adult for society. in that vaen, you have to be creative wioth children, there is nothing wrong with a spnak or two to get theri attention. However, spanking should not be the punishment. as they get oder, you will hve to constantly change yoru approach to punishment. Find out what they like and take that away for punishment, whether it be a favorite toy, tv, or acitvity. Being a good parent requires work and patience.
  • reverse psychology
  • Violence begets violence. No violence!

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