ANSWERS: 45
  • Well, the only way I can think of is to explain this to her logically. Now I forget what it is called but when you starve yourself of food, your body goes into a "famine" complex of sorts. So that when you DO eat again (and its only a matter of time before you do lol), it stores EVERY bit of that meal as FAT because it isnt sure when the next meal is coming. Your body doesnt know, it thinks there is a famine and goes into the mode of storing it all as fat to protect itself. Explain this to her, this is real and I'm sure you can find something about it on the net. Your body burns fat more efficiently when you EAT something. I jumpstart my metabolism in the morning by eating a banana or yogurt or eggs or a slice of whole wheat toast or a bowl of cheerios, etc. Make her understand that she doesnt need to starve herself, and on the contrary it will only make maintaining her weight that much harder for her. Sounds like she just needs some coaching on what foods are healthy for her. Once you practice and understand healthy habits, starving yourself doesnt even enter into the equation! For the long run I'd suggest buying healthy foods to make healthy meals and maybe starting an exersise routine. Something as simple as going for a 15 minute walk each day after dinner could make a HUGE difference! And she's more likely to stick with it because you are doing it with her!! :))
  • As her mother, its up to you to set a good example of what it means to be a girl and ultimately a woman. Let her know that despite what popular culture might portray, a woman's worth is not judged by her appearance. There is so much more to a woman and there are far more important aspects of herself for her to concentrate on as far as being a good person. But if her weight is a concern, which is understandable since she is 12 years old and probably just getting to that age of forming cliques in school and starting to like boys....or girls, whatever, then why dont you try to help out by planning more physical activities for not just her, but you and the rest of the family and also making smarter decisions when it comes to feeding the family. So basically let her know that it shouldnt be the most important thing to her, but if it is a concern, then you can do something about it.
  • I would talk to her and get as much out of her as possible, just try to really get to source of problem, and see where you can go from there. Its a really difficult issue, but your daughter is the only one going through it. Good luck :)
  • Its hard as a parent to see your child think of herself this way Try the approach of letting her know she isnt fat but if she feels she needs to tone up then maybe go for walks with her or swimming. That way its not a case of her not eating, but her keeping fit. Shes obviously tall for her age, Im 30 and only 2 inches taller than her lol get her to focus on what she feels good about.
  • This could be something serious so try getting her someone to talk to A.S.A.P! because while it could be a phase, it also could be the start of a deadly eating disorder!
  • Don't make a production of it. Most teenage girls think they are fat, or at least spend a lot of time saying they are fat. Just say, "You aren't fat" and drop it. Don't get into a discussion about it. Part of not eating or refusal to eat is about control. Sometimes teenagers feel it is the only part of their lives they control. If you make it an issue, it becomes a power play for the teenager. As for not going to breakfast, I would have told her we were going as a family but that she didn't have to eat if she didn't want to.
  • Fact from fiction, truth from diction. The evidence is out on the Web everywhere. I cannot remember where I seen it but your daughter is actually on the SHORT end of healthy weight for her height. At 5'3" she can be up to 135 or so before she would be considered overweight. My fiancee is the same height as her and weighs more, no one thinks she is fat, many think she is hot.
  • She is NOT FAT 11 lbs at 5 3 is THIN tell her to lookatallof the answers
  • The question is... Is she 5' 3" Firm muscle and can go on a Hike for a morning OR a Bike ride? Is she Confident enough to go to the Beach in a Two Piece swimsuit? BTW- Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day and at the restaurant she could have made Smart Choices and would have been fine! Print This for Her to READ! and then Take her out and teach her what to Choose!
  • My question is how does a 12 year old become obsessed with weight? Someone said don't make a production but thats a red flag if I've ever seen one........
  • Im 13 and this sounds a bit serious I think you should talk to her or let her talk to someone! I hope your problem gets fixed good luck!
  • I think you should sit and talk with her tell her she growing up to be a fine young and beautiful woman you are NOT fat! Hope this helps :)
  • I wouldn't dismiss her concerns, I think that's the wrong thing to do. I remember sobbing when I was 10 years old because I felt so fat, and to be fair, I wasn't skinny but I wasn't really fat either. Losing a bit of weight did me no harm. My mother was extremely supportive. She packed me healthy lunches, showed me which foods were healthy, how to control my weight... but she did it in a controlled and responsible way. I ate much better; fresh fruits, yogurts and salads, and I lost the weight that had been bothering me. I also had the occasional treat, pancakes were ok, just not every week. I'm now an adult, and I've never had an eating disorder. So rather than rushing her off to get counseling (which is just over reacting), or dismissing her -- teach her how to eat healthily. If she doesn't want pancakes, don't react. Teach her it's ok to eat a healthy diet and have the occasional treat, like pancakes. If you support her and listen to her concerns (which you can do without turning her into a stick insect) then she's much more likely to listen to what you say than if you're dismissive from the start.
  • Having studied eating disorders at college i would suggest you talk to her calmly about why she feels this way and maybe do some research with her about healthy eating and what is a healthy weight to be for someone her age/height. Show her pictures of celebrities (since they are often the source of these feelings) and explain to her that that is not the way to live. The important thing is to compromise, do not let her control her diet but let her have a say. Hope this is helpful, and good luck x
  • hey my 13 yr old boy weighs 114 pounds what i would do is let her work out or eat good because the only thing this could bring is her eating healthy and exercising more so make sure she doesnt go anerexic if thats how you spell it and trust her to take care of her body
  • im going through the same problem. im 5 foot 2 and weight 106 and i believe im fat, though my mom and dad say otherwise.
  • Dieting and the desire for a thin body shape are viciously inculcated by the mass media. Consequently, you won't be able to talk her out of her weight obsession, because every activity from watching TV to reading magazines to driving past a Victoria's Secret billboard will feed it (no pun intended). The best thing you can do is compromise a bit. Your daughter is at a healthy weight for her size, so try to get her to focus on health benefits of weight loss and not on the cosmetic aspects of weight. If she balks the next time you want to go out to eat, suggest healthy things she could order at the restaurant, like fruit (even fast food restaurants like Sonic include bananas on their menus). Some menus, like Applebees, also have Weight watchers options. Encourage her to eat these healthy foods, but also remind her that an occasional hot fudge sunday isn't going to make her balloon to 500 pounds overnight.
  • It is interesting to see how many girls and boys of that age have body concerns, whether it is objectively "realistic" or not. I personally believe it has to do with the young person's psychology having to keep up with the massive changes in the body and the need to incorprate that change into a new body image. For most kids this begins with puberty at 11 or so and smooths out by high school (age 14 or so), but for some it can turn into a disorder. How can you head off the latter? If you are a parent, just continue to reassure her that you think she is fine. And especially if you are a Mom, let her know you approve of the womanly shape she is taking on, and are proud of the fact that she is turning into a woman who will become capable of being sexual, date, marry and have babies one day. If you are a Mom and she is comparing herself to you, this is her way of dealing with the insecurity of a young woman coming of age. I would compliment her on her figure or looks as you might with a girlfriend when you notice something particularly good about the way she is looking that day; you can even invite her to go shopping with you and have her try on clothes and then you two can discuss various looks, what makes her show off her assets the best, and gives you both a chance to admire the way she looks in outfits in the mirror. Notice out loud with her how your body shapes are similar and different and let her know how much it is an advantage to her to have a feature you dont have (but be real, dont lie, dont make up something, she will sense the manipulation if you do). Then leave the rest up to her.
  • You should make sure she exercises. But don't be a hypocrite, do it with her. Often 'feeling fat' is mistaken for 'being fat'
  • Humour her for now. She isn't overweight and at 115 lbs at her height she isn't anorexic either. Just make sure she is eating salads, fruits and some protein..a multi-vitamin and some Omega-3 (fish or fish oil capsules). It could be a phase. Make as little fuss over it as possible.....
  • its an eating disorder. I forgot the name of it but its sounds like bublimorexia or something lol. It means that thin people think they are fat and wont refuse, just tell her the qonsiquence.
  • I'm 11 and I wiegh 30 pounds more than her so she doesn't seem fat at all, in fact 115 would be a miricle for me.
  • Show her images of really skinny people. Like google anorexia. It's really gross. Show her how scary and unattractive it is to be so skinny your bones show up and it will turn her off trying to go too far with this weight thing. I feel that talking is just talk. It would go in one ear and out the other. But if she actually sees what could happen, it would stay in her mind. It worked for me! I mean, I'm not too skinny, but I'm not fat either. But sometimes girls are just bombarded with unrealistic images and ideals we feel we have to live up to that you have to stop and think about what's real and what's not. She has to learn how to accept and realize how beautiful she is and once she is happy about the way she looks, it'll show through her expressions and personality; she'll feel much better about herself.
  • Apart from the fact that your daughter doesn't sound overweight (I'm not very familiar with lbs), breakfast in any case is the one meal she wouldn't have to worry about - she's about to start a day of activity and she'll use it up.
  • Hide the scale. Talk to her about eating disorders, she may be acting like this because her friends are.
  • i would try telling her every one is perfect in their own way.no one cares if your hair is frizzy or your hips are to wide every one is awesome in their own way
  • i am fifteen about 5'4" weighing about 125 i live out in the country and go to a public school. we got a second set of horses a few years ago.at the house we get farmer vision so if nothing good is on then noyhing good is on. but to the pount you should get your daughter to play sports or get a pass to the Y or a close city pool. also you should try buying bikes for her to ride to school on if it is close or have daily bike rides with the whole family. ask her why she is worried about her weight and talk to her about it.
  • tell her that she is so pretty and not fat
  • yuo tel her to eat healthy and exercise. like oranges swim run ride ur bike tht helped me lose alot of wait and im 12 too.and i understand what she's going thru. ;)
  • hey, you might think i'm a little to young for this website, and even answering your questions, but i'm and 11 year old girl, and i weigh 143 pounds. i'm 5"3 also. tell her don't worry about the number, just what's on the outside. this is a good exception for the "looks don't matter". if she is worried, watch the outside, not the NUMBER. alos tell her to stay off the scale, and to be confident, and own it.
  • i really dont know how you can help her but these people are right. all i wanted you to know is that im turning 14 in august and i am about 5'6'' and weigh 135!!!
  • Try to get her involved in some exercise - and it doesn't have to be something boring either. Could be trekking or swimming or dancing - a style which she likes. In addition, you can eat well and remain slim if you eat the right stuff, like reducing carbs in the evening meal.
  • Please keep an eye on her. I am surrounded by girls and some guys too with eating disorders due to the fact that I dance ballet. If she were a ballet dancer, they would want her to drop at least 15 lbs. That is how crazy my profession is! I know people who have died of anorexia. Currently my best friend is hospitalized and is not expected to live. Read everything you can about it and nip it in the bud before she damages her body if it looks like she is headed in that direction. Good luck and keep a watch for other warning signs.
  • I think it normal for a preteen to think they are fat, no matter what shape or size they are. Tell her that if she really feels this way, even though she is beautiful the way she is, she can just excersize a little more o watch her diet. For example, next time she says she is fat, say well then let's go walk the dog.
  • Tell her the boys like alittle meat.
  • omg i remeber when i myself use to say that alot. but you could tell her she dont have to eat the fat food parts tell her to eat the healthy food.also ask have you lost weight you look good or just make her feel good inside
  • I tink that if she feels this way , you should help her HEALTHILY diet . No starving . You don't want her to be miserable .
  • ok tell her this cause its true no joke. as she grows taller she will look thin. and at 5'9 115lbs is a very good weight to be at for that height. and if she still has a bad self image. start exercising with her. and keep track of the weight she looses. that should put her at ease
  • YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE SHE EATS A LOT OF MEAT SO HER BREASTS GET REALLY BIG OR SHE'LL FEEL REALLY BAD LATER
  • As someone who used to have an eating disorder when I was 15 and got help for it before it was too late, my advice: 1) Don't start getting on her case because eating disorders are about control. The more my mom tried to control me, the worse it got! 2) Tell her that you enjoy having her company at breakfast and if she just wants a coffee or some fruit at breakfast, that is okay. Sharing meals is more about fellowship than food. Although our culture is making food into god. Don't pressure her to have the bacon and eyes and go into parent panic-mode. 3) Get a closer relationship with her by asking her to accompany you on your walks, etc. 4) Don't have glossy magazines with skinny models around the house. Be careful what role model you are. If you are constantly talking about your own weight, other people's weight, etc. 5) Encourage her to look outside of herself at others things. Maybe take a night course with her, etc. The more she realizes that her whole identity is NOT in her appearance, the better. Make her realize that a smart, bright girl with BRAINS is beautiful too! 6) Watch her discreetly - is she starting to hide her bony appearances (with big shirts, etc.), is her tampon box not getting empty (loss of sudden weight stops menses), she starts to avoid social engagements with friends, starts becoming totally withdrawn, get her to a counseller no matter how much she swears at you. I was furious at my parents, but they pretty much reminded me that I LIVE under their roof, eat their food (although little), etc. and I got convinced. THANK GOD. 7) The longer in a eating disorder or habit, the harder to get out of it. It becomes a lifestyle and an identity. My mother was constantly trying to lose weight and always putting herself down. So when she would tell me to gain weight, etc. I thought she was a hypocrite. Pray lots for her! Hug her lots! Upbuild her lots! Just say, "Mom, had a tough day, I need a hug from my wonderful daughter." HUGS = Love and acceptance. Compliment on chores she does for you. Ask her and show interest in her life. My parents were ALWAYS too busy for me!!
  • well..you should tell her that going with you for breakfast has nothing to do with her weight, it has to do only with family time. she can try maybe just a juice..?
  • well buy her all natural food and stuff
  • Well i have a younger sister whos 11 and she is 5,1 and she is 70 pounds and thinks shes underweight. We went to the doctors and she was. Go to the doctor and you can get good advice and word from there
  • I myself am a teen who struggles with a weight issue in the family. Coming from a traditional Asian family, I'm very big in height and my bone structure is very unusual for an Asian person. My family recognizes me as "the fat one" but I know it's not true because I am 5'6" and 132lbs. However, although I try to look in the mirror and think "I'm not fat," it just doesn't work. You should create an environment that recognizes people of all differences beautiful. Perhaps having a mother daughter talk would help because I never had one of those but only discouragements to lose weight. Make her feel beautiful and take her on a shopping trip.
  • OH My god I wish I was her

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