ANSWERS: 22
  • tought one, just be there for them, support them i suppose
  • Lord, I cannot imagine how difficult that must be. A big hug and just let them know how much you care, and that you are as close as the phone if they need you for anything. Once a few weeks has passed, maybe invite them out to dinner or to a movie or a play, just to get them out and about again.
  • Been there, just be there for them.
  • Give the person a huge hug, take meals that can be frozen, offer to clean the house. The person is paralyzed. Find ways to give basic comforts.
  • I am sorry that such a thing has happened, I guess the only thing you can do is to be there for them and that they know that, not much help in my answer really...sorry
  • Your son is grieving too as well. The only thing that I can envision is to put together a keepsake memorializing your son's friendship with the deceased. It will allow your son to be constructive with his grief and give the parents of the boy some meaning to their loss as well by seeing the positive impact their son had on your son. Best to you both!
  • How about get them a puppy?
  • Give them a call!
  • Spicy we just went through this in our family.The best thing people did for us was show us that they loved us.Maybe a scholarship could be established.I just had a flood of emotion go through me when I read your question........Ripple
  • my teenage son just lost his father in a car accident, his father raised him so its like he lost his dad and best friend, my son is 17 and we created a video pictures of the 2 of them, from my sons birth up until the tragedy, wil smiths just the two of us is playing in the background. i found a nice box and inside i have things that are reminders of his daddy (pictures, his first blanket, his fifth grade diploma, and several other items that have meaning).
  • All you can do is be there and be supportive, helping to fill the void in their hearts. If you've been through a similar situation, then you can offer words of support and advice. You could also offer to go to grief counseling with them (if you live nearby). It may help to have a familiar face in that room full of strangers. But being supportive, being there, and showing them that you care would mean more than anything during that time.
  • I would find this situation to be very awkward. I think their pain is theirs to carry and there isn't very much one can do to relieve them of it. The most one can do is tho ease it by showing them your support and friendship. I'd offer to do anything they need me to do. The parents may not be the people to offer much to as they are the most affected and hardest hit. Maybe getting involved through other members of the family and offering to assist in any arrangements would be a great way to help. Something special said during the wake or funeral may be appreciated. In the future, copies of any pictures of him with your son could be given to the parents. I think people want themselves and their loved ones to be remembered. Your son would do well by being there for the family as much as is reasonable. I'm sorry this happened.
  • Don't push him and lean on him too hard. Grief is a very personal thing and don't expect him to grieve like you do. I am still grieving for my son who was killed in an accident 5 months ago. The Catholic tradition (I am not Catholic) or a wake by family and friends immediately after is a way to recognize the person and tell about his/her good points and positives. It begans the grieving process on a positive note. From there it becomes a personal thing. Yes, a memorial fund in which the family is involved in by sending thank you's etc. is fine. (for whatever purpose the family desires, my son's was to the Boy Scouts, it gives the family/person something positive to do. Beyond that, don't force the person to talk about it or the friend. They will in time. They will relive some positive memories in private and spend a lot of time thinking. Make workshops, religious persons, death counselors available but don't push the person to go to these if they are not interested. Some of the Social Work training I took years ago involves watching the person to see if he/she is getting along OK. After six months or so, they should have worked through the thinking and be accepting of the situation. Any further along than that, etc. some professional counseling may be in order. Some of this applies to my situation and some to some of the counseling I have done in the past.
  • *Offer to watch younger siblings and do something 'fun' with them while the adults grieve *Make some meals for them to keep in the freezer for when they aren't up to cooking. Eating out is common during funeral planning and entertaining out of town visitors *Gather photographs from friends and neighbors to create a memory book of the lost loved one *Offer to help address thank you cards for sympathy notes or flower deliveries
  • make the a scrap book also there is a really gret poem called I lend you or something like that. It's a really good poem. It goes something like. I lend you for a little while a child of mine god said. That's always something nice to give someone to let them know you care and are thinking about them
  • Send flowers and show your support and your kindess towards them.
  • Send a note now, and send more in the months to come. Visits, too, if you feel comfortable. The anniversary of the boy's death will be an important time.
  • I guess just give support. Anyone who is a parent knows this is their biggest nightmare. It's hard to get over, just try to be there for the mother/father emotionally....it takes so much time to get over...if you ever do. I know people who lost children on 9/11 and they are still not over it.
  • Just be there :to cry with them, to wipe their tears, to listen to the reminisce about their son. give them their space too because they need to grieve privately too. Hug your son, no matter how uncomfortable he feels with that and tell him its OK to cry. doesn't make him any less a man. Emotions are equal for everyone. god bless you all to bear the loss and peace to Steven's soul too.
  • Nothin can be better than sweet words of courage!
  • I lost my 19 y/o son in a car accident. What touched me most were friends who gave practical help without getting in the way of our grief (came over, made us a meal, cleaned up, hugged and left - or who dropped off frozen or freezable meals in containers I didn't need to return. Also those who took the time to write a special note or card saying what our boy had meant to them. These notes I have read over and over. Always with so many tears but also with thanks. Do something a month later, just a card or a call, they will still be in so much pain and it will help. If you have good photos of him, give copies to his parents. It is every parent's worst nightmare and the grief is overwhelming, Listen, hug, remember.
  • I think one thing many forget is the weeks that comes after the funeral and everyone is gone. A card every few months would mean much especially after a significant amount of time has past. To go to the mailbox 8 or 9 mo down the line and get a card saying, 'I'm just thinking' of you means a lot.

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