ANSWERS: 16
  • Admit your mistakes, explain how you believe you have effected your child and make them understand that you empathise with them, then apologise.
  • They'll get over it be a better grandparent now.
  • My God...we have to make amends for screwing up after raising them? I am SO screwed. All you can do is the best you can. If you have a child who insists they need amends, if its fair then apologize. Too many kids whine about the hard knocks they had because mommy didn't buy them a car at 16, or daddy made them eat their veggies. There's plenty of parents who really blow it, and their kids deserve an acknowledgement of that. There is no easy answer here. Good luck!
  • I think the most important thing a grown child is looking for in that regard is a parent acknowledging their mistakes, taking responsibility for them and apologizing. Then it's a matter of putting actions behind the words by providing unconditional love, emotional support and physical proximity whenever possible.
  • I apologized and asked for forgiveness. They responded with, "You have no need to apologize, Dad. We know that you always loved us." : D
  • Pay for their first few psychotherapy sessions.
  • Keep their mouths shut when the kids make the same mistakes raising their own children
  • Apologize sincerely from the heart offer to go to counseling with them if they like. Never brush it off or make light of it when they want to discuss it. Please try not to say I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. That somehow is justifying the way you raised them and you need to be owning up to the mistakes not justifying them.
  • Being able to want to make amends is the first step, and is VERY commendable. Yes, a lot of children do think that they got shafted while growing up, and yes, parents have different methods and ways of raising children. BUT, one should NEVER brush off emotions and feelings -- whether the child is 12, 20, or 40. Pain is pain, and being open to wanting to resolve it is the most important step. Open the lines of communication, and be there for the child(ren). In the same way that parenting varies, so does healing.
  • In the case of one of Aris's exes? You put your (almost adult or adult) kids above everyone. Even above the man you claim to love more than anyone. The kids come first. Even when the 17-year-old boy tries to kill the man you love. Because you screwed up raising him, he is more important than the man he nearly killed.
  • Just a simple I'm sorry and sharing with them why you did what you did, goes further than you think.
  • Apologize for making the mistake and move on.
  • I am human, I am sure I made mistakes raising my son. I did the absolute best I could, I feel no need to make amends for trying my best.
  • I think the only thing you can do is acknowledge how you screwed up and apologize. What is done cannot be undone. Parents are not always right and kids are not always wrong. People are human and so you make mistakes. If it is a pattern of abuse, all the apologies in the world won't matter. If it was an occasional mistake and not the same one over and over, I think most kids will accept the apology providing you don't try to justify it in the same breath as you are apologizing for it! :)
  • MONEY. SERIOUS LOTS OF MONEY, DAMN IT.
  • Just hug them and tell them you're sorry for anything you did that hurt them. Talk it out listen to what they have to say try to see it from their point of view. But if they brush it off, let it go. Don't ease your pain by transferring it to them. If you need to talk it out but they don't at this time find someone else to talk it out with. There are also online groups for this sort of thing that may be a lot more helpful.

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