ANSWERS: 60
  • (THESE ARE SOME OF MY FAVORITES) 1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 2. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 3. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. 4. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 5. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 6. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 7. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. 8. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 9. You! Off my planet! 10. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • Back of a motorcyclist T--shirt "If you can read this-- The bitch fell off"
  • "Dial 911 and make a cop come"
  • Let me drop everything and work on your problem (T-Shirt) I just kidnaped my self, give me 100 dollars or you will never see me again (T-Shirt) I Pooded (Still a shirt) Chollagee Sdudent(Once again, a shirt, oh and it is spelled wrong, that's the joke) One shirt with a cupple (as stick figures) just married holding hands, and the girl has a smile on her face, and the guy has a frown and below is says "Game Over" I do all my own stunts (yes yes, uh huh, another shirt) A shirt with a squirl holding two nuts, and below it says "Don't touch my nuts", yes my Mom loves that shirt (sarcasm she hates it). Can't think of any more.
  • Its my favorite key chain and is probably on some bumper sticker somewhere and it says..."You remind me of a poop I once took". I don't have 10 to think of so I'll just share this one.
  • T-shirt: "stop staring at my boobs (touch them)" "eat shit", from the movie "runaway train", worn by a chubby guy in jail...not very original, but funny non the less. Bumper: "We break for nobody" , as a reply to "I brake for animals" "Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out" , from some Steven Segal movie. "drive it like you stole it"
  • tshirt 1. I have the body of a god, unfortunately it's Buddha. 2. Fat People are hard to kidnap. 3. Its only considered an actual conversation if someone is listening. 4. Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians 5.Don't think the police help? Next time you need help, call a crackhead. 6.porn....my anti-drug. 7. Bondage: its knot for everyone. 8. DNA: National Dyslexics Association 9. Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes. 10. Hello, I see the assassins have failed. I love 'em!
  • "Master Debater". That one gets me every time
  • My favorite to make fun of is "I am an Honor Student at_____ Elementary School".
  • t-shirt save a horse,ride a cowboy doesn't play well with others don't bother me,i'm in my happy place your village called, they're idiot is missing ya right, bye bye now
  • shirts: i have the body of a god, unfortunately that good is buddha (kid at school wears it...funny) will your boobs please stop staring at me! bumper stickers: i'm not losing hair, i'm just getting head (lol it was on an old persons car)
  • Lost you cat? Try looking under my rear tire.
  • Back in the 1980s when the Wendy's commercial "Where's the Beef" came out there was this guy I saw at a soft ball tournament in Houma, La. He was about 6'3" tall and weighed about 300lbs. He had on a shirt that said, "Nooney's got the beef." Everyone all ready used the other ones I know.
  • Bumper Sticker-Her Car His Payment
  • Well i have so many its hard to name...so i have to say..anything made by Tshirt Hell
  • T shirt Eat Well Stay Fit DIE ANYWAY
  • Shirt that says: Escaped Mom, Don't tell anyone you seen me.
  • Bumper - If you dont like my driving call 555-idontcarewhatyouthing And I may be fat, but your ulgy and I can diet
  • Beatings will continue until Morale improves!!
  • Assassins do it from behind
  • Join the army, meet interesting people, then kill them.
  • There is a small but important difference between peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool.
  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Thats my absolute fav!
  • T-shirt - I hear Voices and They don't like you
  • 1. Evolution is just a Theory....Kindof like gravity. 2. Excuse me; I have minds to twist and values to warp 3. Please don't make me go to my dark side 4. I'll have a caffe-mocha-vodka-marijuana latte to go please 5. Your child may be an honor student, but you drive like an idiot 6. The Customer is Always Right, There is a Santa, and Republicans Do Care. 7. I Never Thought I would miss Nixon 8. God Wants Spiritual Fruits; Not Religious Nuts 9. Jesus Called: He want's His religion back 10. Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
  • 1. Evolution is just a Theory....Kindof like gravity. 2. Excuse me; I have minds to twist and values to warp 3. Please don't make me go to my dark side 4. I'll have a caffe-mocha-vodka-marijuana latte to go please 5. Your child may be an honor student, but you drive like an idiot 6. The Customer is Always Right, There is a Santa, and Republicans Do Care. 7. I Never Thought I would miss Nixon 8. God Wants Spiritual Fruits; Not Religious Nuts 9. Jesus Called: He want's His religion back 10. Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
  • Not in any particular order: *Orgasm Donor *Don't blame me, YOU voted for him! *My kid can beat up your Honor Roll student *Petting Zoo (with down arrow) *No really, these are real (t-shirt seen on a female with HUGE knockers that were obviously fake) *Quit staring at my t-shirt *Hukd on fonix wurkd fer mi *Can't feed 'em? Don't breed 'em!
  • * Shut up voices! or I'll poke you w/ a Q-tip again! * Don't take life so seriously. It ain't permanent. * I really should have looked into my husband's family a little closer. * And your cry-baby, whiny-assed, opinion would be? * Whatever kind of look you were going for..You missed. * Earth is full. Go Home!! * Is it time for your medication or mine? * The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifegaurd. * No one is listening until you fart. * Are you crawlin' with crickets?
  • 1. I'm not who you think I am (T-shirt with emblem from the federal witness protection program). 2. (here in Montreal the top selling tourist T-shirt says) My English is trouble, but I French very well. 3. This means the party is over (T-shirt with picture of SWAT team breaking a door). 4. Pobody is Nerfect (T-shirt) 5. Plan ahe- ad! (written on front and side of T-shirt) 6. Honk if you want to see an Uzi fired from a moving vehicle. (bumper) 7. Elvis may be dead, but Bruce Lee lives on. (on Master Chun Leung's Limo bumper in Montreal's China Town) 8. If we had known that grand kids would be this much fun, we would have had them first! (on back of motor home in Montreal's LaRonde amusement park parking lot) 9. The hurrier I go the behinder I get (bumper) 10. (high on the front grill of a Semi) 3M TA3 (read in a mirror - eat me)
  • 1. Trust No One, Suspect Everyone, Admit Nothing, Deny Everything, and Make Counter Accusations (T-shirt) 2. Ya Gotta have a lot of balls to golf the way I do. (T-shirt) 3. Basketball Smuggler (T-shirt with down arrow pointing to fat guy's gut) 4. God only made a few perfect heads, the rest He covered with hair (T-shirt on a bald guy) 5. S.H.I.T. Sachs Harbour Institute of Technology - Study Astronomy in the Canadian Arctic, and freeze your ass. (T-shirt) 6. Tuk U - University of Tuktoyaktuk - Go all the way to the ends of the earth for your education (T-shirt) 7. We the willing, led by the unknowing, have done so much with so little for so long, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing (T-shirt on Canadian soldier) 8. In the event of FALLOUT ... reinsert and continue with shorter strokes (T-shirt on Canadian soldier) 9. Master Sniper ... if you run, you'll only die tired (T-shirt on Canadian soldier) 10. Older men deliver what young men promise (T-shirt)
  • 1. <<-- Passing side - Suicide -->> (Bumper) 2. If you can read this, thank your teacher. (Bumper) 3. Don't follow me, I'm LOST (Bumper) 4. If this rush hour traffic gets any slower I'm gonna open up a used car lot right here (Bumper) 5. How's my driving? 1-800-382-5633 (check what it spells!!!)(Bumper) 6. Beware Vigilante Woman - I Wound all Heels (Bumper) 7. My car theft security system is the ten cases of TNT in the trunk ... now move along! 8. Dyxl3sics fo teh Wordl Untie (Dyslexics of the World Unite) (Bumper) 9. Vote GREEN, while there still is a planet (Bumper) 10. I'd rather be racing than sitting here in traffic. (Bumper)
  • it's tourist season. Why can't we shoot them?
  • Your village called - their idiot is missing Let you know the other 9
  • The Communist Party:
  • all of mine were taken, but I saw on the back of a septic cleaner truck sticker that said "We take your shit"
  • WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE PLUTO WAS A PLANET
  • Here are a few of my faves; Vegatarian,... an old Indian word for poor hunter. Joe Pesci is my copilot. Work Harder, millions on welfare depend on you. How's my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT I'd smack you but shit splatters. Well, at least the war on the environment is going well. (thanks to Sarah Lang) Just say NO to negativity (thanks to Kevin McKinley) I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure. When life hands you gators, make Gatorade. I've heard about the evils of drinking beer, so I gave up reading. Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls). The bigger the hat, the better the cowboy. I feel better after I wine a little. I'm still a hot babe, but now it it comes in flashes. National Spellling Bee Runer-Up The Moral Majority is neither. (thanks to Bromond) Dyslexics Untie! (thanks to Frank) Sorry if I look interested, I'm not! I would rather hunt with Dick Cheney than drive with Ted Kennedy. (thanks to Steve) When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you. In case of rapture, can I have your car? (thanks to Ariana Moseley) I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM. I poke badgers with spoons. Be alert. The world needs more lerts. Keep on working, millions on welfare depend on you! Black holes are where God divided by zero. Veni, Vidi, VD. I came, I saw, I cankered. I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian! Alcohol and calculus don't mix. DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE! Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids. Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me. That's not a haircut, it's a cry for help. If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas! So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. Want a little taste of religion? Bite the minister. I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either! Excess is never too much in moderation. My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in most states. To err is human, to moo bovine. Think globally, Act galactically. My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns. If it's not one thing, it's your mother. Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route. Don't believe everything you think. Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost! Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants. Life is short. So buy the shoes! Never believe generalizations. The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance. I don't think, therefore I am not. Jesus saves. He uses double coupons. Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I got stuck. Avoid alliterations always. Dyslexics are teople poo. Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down. What would Ashton do? Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite. An Apple a day keeps Windows away. This bumper sticker intentionally left blank. When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS. What would Gandalf do? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Double your drive space. Delete Windows. Does anal retentive have a hyphen? If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it. Resistance is futile (if > 1 ohm). My mother was a moonshiner, and I love her still. MOP AND GLO - The floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team. I'm Canadian. It's like being American, but without the gun. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. The control key on the keyboard does not work. The meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up. Nuke the Whales! We'll hunt them at night. Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you're a jerk. Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly). If there is no God, who always pops up that next Kleenex? Too much Pluribus, not enough Unum. Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal. What wouldn't Jesus do? If you believe in telepathy, think about honking. People like you are the reason people like me need medication. Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking. The box said Windows 2000 or better. So I installed Linux. Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire. I found Jesus - he was behind the sofa all the time. So many cats, so few recipes. Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl. Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path. On your mark, get set, go away! What would Scooby do? The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Let's skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking! I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs. My drinking team has a bowling problem. (thanks to Bromond) Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead. If you can read this, you're not the president. To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. Liberal Arts major: will think for food. Visualize Whirled Peas If you can read this, I've lost the trailer! Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph. I didn't climb all the way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment. What we need is a patch for stupidity! Follow that car, Godzilla - and step on it ! Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up! I fought the lawn, and the lawn won. If you can't read this, thank the teacher's union. Procrastinate now. The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake. Rehab is for quitters. My dog can lick anyone! I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that? Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them. Do they ever shut up on your planet? If you were born again, would you have two bellybuttons? All men are idiots, and I married their King. West Virginia: One million people, and 15 last names. I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun! I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. Who are these children, and why do they keep calling me Mom? The trouble with life is there's no background music. Mop and Glo - The floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team. NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine. Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? You - Off my planet. If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...? Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. Allow me to introduce my selves. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one. There's no place like 127.0.0.1 I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I'm supposed to back up my hard drive, but how do I put it into reverse? You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. Earth is full. Go home. Is it time for your medication or mine? Nyquil: the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine. How do I set a laser printer to stun? Getting on your feet means getting off your butt. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, closed. In dog years, I'm dead! South Korea's got Seoul! Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener. The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends. IRS: Be Audit You Can Be My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips. Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount! (Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off! I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now. Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship. I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes. Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well. A day without sunshine is like night. First things first, but not necessarily in that order. Old age comes at a bad time. If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car? In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME. Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore. So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute? I need someone real bad. Are you real bad? Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. The more you complain the longer God makes you live. I R S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. Out of my mind - back in five minutes. Without ME, it's just AWESO. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. Life would be easier if I had the source code. Hang up and drive. Nebraska: At least the cows are sane. God must love stupid people. He made SO many. I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen. Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot. I fish, therefore I lie. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. If catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art. Honk If you want to see my finger. God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. Keep honking while I reload. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later. If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you. Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes. Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings. Jack Kevorkian for White House physician. My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her (or something like that). Constipation causes people not to give a crap. Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American! Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping. What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about? If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0! Driver carries no cash. He's married. All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing. If I get you advantage, can I take drunk of you? Watch out for the idiot behind me. I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol! So you're kids no honor student. Society needs laborers. Honk if you hate peace and quiet. I have the body of a god. Buddha. In case of rapture, can I have your car? Never miss a good opportunity to shut up. I doubt, therefore I might be. Your stupid! When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't. Don't bother honking or flashing your lights, I'm deaf and blind. Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. If it isn't broken, fix it until it is. Thank God I'm an atheist. Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that. Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. New Mexico: Cleaner than regular Mexico. Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. If you're happy and you know it see a shrink. Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter. Worry. God knows all about you. I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop! Vote Democrat - it's easier than working! Vote Republican - it's easier than thinking! Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. Squirrels: Nature's speed bumps. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. And my all time fave; Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks your an asshole
  • For tailgaters... Unless you are a hemmorrhoid, get off my ass!
  • I may be slow, but i'm ahead of you! Hahah
  • 1. I'm not rude, you're just stupid. 2. (Front)Jesus loves you. (Back)He's not in love with you. 3. I live in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here. 4. (Forest-camo shirt) Shhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I'm hiding from the stupid people! 5. Eating meat is murder. Yummy, yummy murder. 6. Honk if your horn is broken. 7. I'm just one f@%$ing big ray of sunshine, aren't I?! 8. (Front)World's Best Dad. (Back)I fucked your Mum. 9. (Front)I'm With Stupid. (Back) The National Association of Special Needs Carers. 10. Vote for Cthulu!
  • 1. I don't believe in God and he doesn't believe in me, so we're even 2. Would you drive any better if that phone was up your a**? 3. Your village called they want their idiot back 4. I ran into my ex today, so I put it in reverse and ran into him again 5. Practice safe sex, go f**k yourself 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 7. A face without freckles is like a night without stars 8. The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math 9. Republicans for Voldemort 10. Well-behaved women seldom make history
  • Confucious say Man standing on toilet is high on pot. You! Out of the gene pool!
  • Dyslexics of the world UNTIE!
  • Bumper sticker: "If you can read this, you're too close"
  • I like (in no particular order): 1. $#!t happens. (an oldie, but goodie) 2. Charm School Reject 3. Boys Shouldn't Talk 4. Boys Lie 5. fcuk (it looks like another word) 6. I am mean because YOU are STUPID! 7. don't talk to me 8. no hablo ingles (spanish for "I don't speak English") 9. Princess 10. Do I look like a people-f*c&ing-person to you???
  • Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy
  • sin now...pray later
  • I can't come up with 10. But one of my favorites I can remember seeing is "It's not gonna suck itself".
  • written on a shirt "this shirt makes me look so good....who need the pants"
  • 1. Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. 2. Keep honking, I'm reloading. 3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 4. I have a perfect body. Unfortunately, it's in my trunk and it's starting to smell. 5. No, you suck. Signed- The Mean People. 6. Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket? 7. Gandhi would slapped you upside the head. 8. I hope the Boogieman gets you. 9. I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better. 10. When I rule the world, you're the first to go. Some of these can still be seen on my '87 Grand Am.
  • 1) Hollywood, sunny plce for shady people 2)don't panic I'm Islamic 3)formerly filthy rich 4)martha stewart's bitch 6)ak47, when you absolutley have to kill every mother in the room 7)ignorance is bliss I'm euphoric 8)no I haven't got a f***ing charge card 9)The Chippendales, darwins theory proved 10)The cat in the hat smokes black all these are t shirts I own.
  • Bumper sticker; If Mom won't let you, call 1-800 Grandma
  • i wish that my lawn was emo so it would cut itself lol
  • 1. If its got tits or wheels its going to cause you trouble. 2. No i haven't got tourettes...its just that i think your a c*nt. 3. Do i look like a f*cking people person 4. Wet Pu See.....Bangkok Massage 5. SURROUNDED by f*cking idiots 6. My anger management class is really starting to f*cking p*ss me off 7. AK47....When you absolutely,positively have to kill every motherf*cker in the room 8. Yeah yeah yeah do i look like i give a f*ck
  • &quot;Sex and Drugs and Sausage rolls" - I think it's because I'm a Yorkshireman - really tickled me
  • 1. t-shirt: FCUK You, you dyslexic bastard! 2. bumper sticker: I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go 3. t-shirt: Don't make me send my flying monkeys after you! 4. t-shirt: I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in. 5. bumper sticker: Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. 6. t-shirt: I Get Enough Excercise Just Pushing My Luck 7. bumper sticker: My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA! 8. bumper sticker: Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date. 9. t-shirt: I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. 10. bumper sticker: Ban Bumper Stickers!
  • hi there, i saw a bumper sticker that read---if you could read this,then youre too damn close!
  • 1. Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinions 2. Conserve energy: stop talking 3. I'm ready to listen. Are you ready to think? 4. Eat, sleep, dance. Repeat process 5. Apparently, you've confused me for someone who cares I actually own these...
  • 1. I love everyone. You're next. 2. Assume nothing. 3. You found Jesus? Was He lost again? 4. Honk if something falls off. 5. You're honking. I'm reloading. 6. Are you having phone sex or do you always drive that way? 7. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day 8. My dog can lick anyone. 9. Asshole! Not just a word, a lifestyle. 10. Just because you look like a doorknob doesn't mean you have to behave like one.
  • 1) Help! I'm talking and I can't shut up! (on a T-shirt) 2) I'm lost, but I'm making great time! (On a bumper sticker) 3) I'm not as think as you drunk I am, Ossifer! (On a bumper sticker) 4) Driver carries no cash - wife and kids have it all (On a bumper sticker) 5) I live with FEAR. But sometimes she lets me go fishing. (On a Tshirt) 6) Yes, I'm the man of the family! And I have my wife's permission to say so! (On a T-Shirt) 7) I know my truck smokes. If it stays with me much longer, it'll be drinking and staying out late too. (On a Bumper Sticker) 8) My truck doesn't leak; it just marks its territory. (On a Bumper Sticker) 9) My child is an Ornery student of (city name omitted) Elementary! (On a bumper sticker) 10) Well... this one requires some explanation. I had just started working at a bank, and had a rather difficult customer in the drive through. I asked her for her driver's license, and the next thing I knew, papers and who-knows-what were flying all around the cab of the car. She finally gave up and asked for her check back, which I gladly returned. As she drove off, I saw her bumper sticker. "My mom says there's no such thing as a dumb blonde." My coworkers and I had to disagree.

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