She told me if i forbid her from seeing her ex she is going to break up with me. what should i do?
by 
ishi-kun
ANSWERS: 21
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Seems pretty simple. Find a new woman. She aint worth the trouble.
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Ya i hatre to agree but find a new woman. Sounds like if she wnts to see her ex there maybe something else going on
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if she really cared about you then you wouldn't have a problem involving her ex..looks like she already picked him over you ask her if she really doesn't give a damn about your feelings
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You are both wrong...nobody has the right to *forbid* anyone else from doing anything.....either you forbidding her from seeing her ex or you forbidding her from forbidding you anything.....I think a couple needs a lot more trust that you two seem to have...let her go.
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Can you really blame her? She just wants to keep her options open. :( Well, to be honest, it really depends on what type of person she is. I've known plenty of people that have no probablem maintaining a healthy friendship with their ex after the break-up. I've also seen others trying to inch their way back into the old relationship with their ex (including secret hook-ups)
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To forbid her you must have a good reason. If there is no justifiable valid reason allow her. But not for her threat of a break up. If she is the type who gets her way using threats it would be better that you break up before it is too late.
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It's hard to answer without more information. I'm still good friends with one of my exes, and I have to say that if a current guy were to tell me to stop talking to him, I'd tell him to stop being overly possessive or break up with me. On the other hand, you could very well have legitimate reason not to want her being around her ex. So, I can't really answer without knowing the situation.
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why would you forbid her from seeing her ex? is it jealousy or does he cause problems?
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The smart thing to do is not try to control her. Don't give her an ultimatium or she will definitely walk. You are showing jealously, insecurity, and possessiveness by forbidding her to see him. She is with you. Show her some love, trust and respect. Without these items, there is no hope for a future.
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Where do you get off forbiding an adult to do anything?
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Oh what a delima. If you let her go- chances are that she may be won over.er. If you don;t she'll leave you. Its like you'll lose any which way -looks ,like it doesn't it? Well keep your chin up- Now the words are very important- words are like life or death- to your relationship that is. If you like you can say anything but if do want this to work choose your words tenderly and carefully- a loving sent away is like healing balm to the hurting heart obviously she'll compare and you wont want to leave her with a nasty last memory would you. You can be sad tell her that give her a big hugs, be more caring and sensitive be your genuine loving sentimental self..cry a little..that may bring you closer to her heart.
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It makes sense that she wouldn't want to be controlled...this is a tricky situation...you don't have the right to tell her what to do as an adult. She has the right to see him if she wants. You should trust her enough to know she won't cheat, but she should respect you enough to not go. This goes both ways...she shouldn't go but you shouldn't have to force that decision. Good luck.
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I'm affraid i would walk away now! believe me it will get worse. Find someone new, move on be happy!!obviously she's wanting her bread buttered on both sides! i would'nt give her the satisfaction, she'll realise how much of a good thing she's missing.By then it'll be too late to change!
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Why exactly do you think you have the right to forbid her from ANYTHING? She is your girlfriend not your child. If it's really bothering you, then have an open, honest discussion with her about what's going on. But, you also need to be honest with your self. Could it be that your desire to prevent her from seeing him is about your OWN insecurites or a need to control aspects of her life that aren't really yours to decide upon? She may care about you, but that doesn't mean she will or should let you dictate who she is friends with. Will you let her have final say on who you can or cannot be around?
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Let her break up with you. Unless they have children together there is no viable reason for them to be together for anything.
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dump her she obviously doesn't care about your feeling
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Realize fast that she has the right of free choice and is perfectly capable of associating with whoever she chooses to. Like hello .. she's your girlfriend .. not a wandering dog you need to confine.
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Stop trying to control your girlfriend.
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All power struggles aside ... why does she feel the need to see an ex when she is in a relationship with you? it is important to feel okay about your ABSOLUTES in a relationship and stand by them without trying to muscle compliance from your mate. Forced will wouldn't make this feel any safer would it? You could say... I really like/ love being with you however while you feel the need to see your ex I will be friends with you but not exclusive. You have every right to keep him in your life it is your choice. This way it is her choice to step up and not invite you or anyone to a painful triad dance. You will feel you have respected yourself and set boundaries. With that said, I would definitely accept that this is a warning sign.
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By "ex" do you mean husband? If that's the case, you're out of line, she's got every right, especially if they had kids together. Secondly "forbid"? Really??
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if she has a problem with not seeing her ex, it would be a good thing to break up. she may still have feelings for him
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