• Good question. I also would like some insight on this. I try telling them it is not funny when they make racial slurs, but they do not listen. I do not want to abandon my friends (until I graduate, that is), but they are extremely offensive.
  • It helps to understand what they're doing and why. These kinds of "bigoted" views propagate mainly because they act as group-identifying markers, sort of like gang tatoos or Tee-shirts for favorite rock bands. By expressing certain views, people gain a sort of cheap "membership" in whatever group shares that view. Why would anyone want to be a member of such a group? Simply because they lack a stable and healthy personal identity. If you're already well-adjusted, have good self esteem, and a clear sense of who you are and what your life is about, there's little temptation to join "a herd", especially one that has hateful or bigoted viewpoints. But when one has a weak sense of self, the temptation to "get more self" by identifying with a herd is strong, and it can be very difficult to talk someone out of that -- its like alcohol for an alcoholic, there's a "buzz" factor that comes from feeling like you're now someone. The best way to deal with it is to try to illustrate this same thing to them, if you can. Your friends aren't terrible people, they just don't have a deep appreciation for what they're doing and why, and they aren't mature enough to see the consequences of it. To whatever degree you can help raise their awareness, you're doing the best that you can. Unfortunately, sometimes the difference that we want to make, and what can actually be accomplished, are two different things. As long as you can say "I tried to help", that's all anybody can ask.
  • You can't, sheeple in general are ignorant of the diversity of humanity as a whole, even as you read this I bet you think your pretty smart and so special that this does not even apply to you... well you are all dead wrong. We are all susceptible to the primitive instinct of the human brain and psyche... you are only fooling yourself when you deny that fact. It is the human instinct to kill, destroy, and enslave their own kind... if you doubt that fact... I refer you to the annuals of our dispicable and ignorant human history.
  • (Part II) Tom--N: After seeing your comment to Elitheeli, it turns out I got even more typing to do... Aside from the "herding" behavior discussed earlier, there's another, more disturbing social phenomenon going on worldwide which is also feeding into this problem: a general reversion to fundamentalism. By fundamentalism, I mean "strict beliefs in very rigid thought systems which divide the world into us-and-them". Generally this is associated with religion, but it can be anything. You can have "fundamentalist atheism", which would involve vilifying religions of all sorts, blaming them for all problems in the world, and perhaps degenerating into violence against religion. Of course, we're seeing fundamentalist Islam, fundamentalist Christianity, and so forth, in the news every day. Any group that treats its own system of beliefs as absolute truth is liable to fall into this trap -- any other group is a threat, because they disagree with "the real truth". It seems to me that all forms of fundamentalism are on the rise because of post-modernism. Modernism was the notion that science and enlighened society would save us from ourselves. Now that view has become very doubtful, and post-modernism has taken its place -- with a disconcerting sense that nobody is quite sure what the future holds, what reliable basis there is for moral or social structures, etc. There's a sense of "groundlessness" which humans are trying to come to grips with, as old institutions have lost much of their power and the world seems to be in a constant state of flux without clear direction. This groundlessness produces widespread anxiety, and for many people the way to resolve this anxiety is to race back to the old ways -- to cling ever harder to the apparent life-raft of their traditional religious and philosophical systems. For many, its "gimme that old-time religion -- right now -- or I will beat the crap out of you". This reaction is basically fear of nihilsim, fear of emptiness, fear that life is ultimately empty and meaningless, and a distrust of science which seems to have brought this fate upon us by undermining old superstitions. There actually is a way out of this fear without reverting back to the past. It is possible for mankind to go forward without dragging along the ball-and-chain of bigotry, hatred, racism, and fear which provides the energy source for fundamentalism. But for that to happen, mankind has to "wake up" -- we have to see the trap we're creating for ourselves and understand it thoroughly. Until that happens, expect more of the same. The task of anyone who sees clearly is to do their part to speak up, to stand up. That's what you're trying to do.
  • Say EVERYTHING YOU THINK IT TAKES but also consider; maybe it isn't your job to persuade your friends to change. The internal responses you're having to their racism is your "teacher within". It's obviously teaching you to recognize ignorance as you encounter it through your friend's racist remarks. It's VERY encouraging, as an African American, knowing that you care (about people from a different a race) even when there isn't a social pressure on you to care.
  • put them into the shoes of the people they are racist against, and are they friends to do so? If you were one that were racist, would you consider them so called "Friends"
  • i managed to stop a very racist skin from being racist, first time he saw me he bombarded me with racist comments since im coloured, and then he asked me why i wasnt fighting/arguing back or getting angry or upset [even though i was secretly upset], once i started talking and got him to realise i am actually human we became really good friends but i think he got a bit embarrassed when his mates saw me with him and they were saying [racist] stuff about me, but he stuck up for me and said i was really cool :D and then his friends became my friends too, yay...and how does that answer your question, uhm well...make your friends meet me lol, after saying that even though im asian i have like zero friends who are same colour/race as me because they're racist too [the ppl ive come across anyway] and i didnt wanna hear that crap, people talk about other people being racist when they do it themselves, hypocrites:(
  • I don't believe you will ever be able to persuade them against their views. Everyone has a right to their beliefs, but unfortunately, some tend to be very offensive and childish in how they deal with them. If you have told them that it offends you and they continue to do it, then are they really your friends? It's a hard thing to deal with but you need to decide what matters most to you: your friendship with those that aren't willing to hold their tongue while you're around, or holding strong in what you feel is right and separating from those that offend you. I know it's hard because I've had to separate myself from family members for the same reason. They realized that I wasn't bluffing and, although they still have the same beliefs, have decided to play nice when I'm around. Good luck!
  • hang em off a cliff and threaten to cut the rope. HEHE! (i don't think that i would actually do that, but i thought that i would give you a good laugh.) :-)
  • Pull a reverse-Michael Jackson and watch their jaws drop.
  • Lead by example and ask that racist comments not be made in your presence.
  • Stop being their friends for a while and tell them why. If they continue, you need new friends. Period.
  • First, you call them friends, and then you accuse them of rascism. Perhaps you need to define "friend" differently. Be yourself, but find a polite way to say that you find certain beliefs to be an unfair "generalization" since certainly they could not possibly feel that way about you. A flat out statement of "That hurts my feelings or I don't find that amusing." cannot be debated. After such a statement, a helpful dialog may ensue, or a deadly quiet. Either way you have made your point and shouldn't have to be hostile in doing so.
  • If your friend has any level of education, s/he must know that genetics has little to do with superiority/inferiority of race. Adolf Hitler and his ilk attempted to establish the "perfect Aryan race'' by using various quantitative measures. However, reality came rushing in when in the 1936 Olympics, an ''inferior'' by the name of Jesse Owens swept the field by winning 4 gold medals in Uncle Adolf's back yard, Berlin... The racist bastard didn't have the intestinal fortitude to congratulate, or even acknowledge Owens' magnificent feat!
  • well..that is a hard one..but there is always hope..i had a "friend" that wasnt a actually friend she just stuck with me since i was friend with her bestfriend..and sometimes when i was really good friends with her bestfriends she would say really racist things about me to other people and once she sayd it right in my face...i was embarrassed...but i just sayd to her that i dont want to be friends with someone that says stuff like that about me..and since she saw that i wouldnt speak to her, she came around and sayd she would watch her language..but still we didnt became close because i cant be with someone who cant axcept me for hwo iam....just make your friends see the bigger picture make them grow up..because the fact is, that there are people around the world that are different and its ok to be different, because thats what makes us humans..and let them go in my shoes for one day and see how people judge you because of your color and not your personality, and they judge you iven befor knowing you..because it sucks to be hated because of your skin coulor and you havent iven done anything wrong..its hard to make people change their view of things, but if they dont, they will suffer in this world..i think its good to axcept people for who they are, because that makes you a good person..and iam the kind of person that dont judge people because of theire skin coulor..i see them by theire personality..,and i think it chouldnt matter what skin coulor someone is..i just wish people would see that.. try and talk to your friends, and if they dont drop it then they are not the right friends..but you cant force someone to share the same opinion as you..but just say that you dont like how they act ore what they say about coulored people..but one day they may see it. i hope this answer helped=)
  • I don't know if you'd be able to single handedly. Racism is usually inherited from ones parents. If these people are airing their racists views in your presence - can you still call them your friends? Leave them to wallow in their own ignorance and find some decent people to hang around with.
  • Racism results from stereotypes and beliefs that are wholly based on one thing: Ignorance. Education through talking, suggested readings or by example can quell some of these trends. You have to pick your fights carefully on this because it seems that racists like groups and packs, rather than one-to-one discussion. Trying to get them to see the other side can be challenging, but the more innovative you get, the better result you can get. I once knew a man who loved to crack jokes about handicapped people - I told him that I didn't think he was man enough to spend 8 hours in a wheelchair in public... he wanted to put money on it, and I told him I'd give him a $75.00 prize if he did it, and he took the bait. I took him to a mall, made him go through a couple of stores, buy a hambuger and coke, go to the bathroom, and in 4 hours he was sore, frustrated and embarassed in the way people looked at him and treated him - besides the fact that even the water fountain was impossible for him to drink from... He apologized, conceded defeat, and looked at me with open eyes for the first time. I gave him the prize because he realized the error in his ways. He cherishes it and shares it with anyone that come into his house, and shares the lesson he learned and the prize he got. The Prize? One, slightly used wheelchair. Do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason. Reacting with anger will only fuel the racism. Show by example that you are above critical beliefs and ignorant beliefs.... The best revenge, is success.
  • I don't think you should, why can't they have their own opinion? As long as they don't act out on it or treat someone differently they have a constitutional right to be racist (well if you are in the US) I personally stereotype people all the time (because I'm Italian and all Italians do that). People of different races act differently that's the way it is. Everyone should just stop trying to make everyone equal and just accept our differences and live with it. My opinion is considered racist but I don't treat anyone badly I just recognize diferent races act different ways. Oh and before you start cursing me off I'm in an interracial relationship and have black white and latino family and race is talked about very openly and we don't try to hide our racism.
  • Show forth the love of Christ to them, but take them into atmospheres there not comfortable with, like a good church with different races of people. If they don't change, drop them as friends, but still call them and ask them how there doing. Make other friends that will be of good influence to you, and value what you believe.
  • I would change friends ,to ones that are more open minded.
  • The best way, is to find out more about your friend's views by looking right at the source IE racist websites, and find the holes in their arguments to prepare yourself to have stronger arguments. That way, it shows you're informed about your statements.

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