• First you need to confront your boyfriend with your fears. Don't accuse but ask if he did sleep with her. His answer will help you to make some initial decisions. It is difficult to tell if she wants him or genuinely wants to be friends with you, but organising evenings out as 'girls night' may let you know. If she is always suggesting that he come and makes excuses if he won't be there then you can be quite sure. But if you like her then she deserves a chance. You know, maybe it is you that she fancies.....
  • I just don't want to be taken for a fool because my gut tells me that they did something. I did confront them both and of course they had denied it. I'm just confused because he was carrying on with this girl on deployment and now she acts like nothing happened, and wants to become friends with me. What's up with that? But I will keep my mind and eyes open to the situation. Thanks for the response, much appreciated!
  • I don't want this to confuse you more, but there is a saying(certainly in the British army) that id it happens on deloyment then it never really happened. It means that if there was something in midst of the battlefield, when no-one was really sure if they would survive, then the physical contact was only a way of affirming life, and not meaningful in way we would think. by all means keep your eyes and ears open, but remember that deployment puts different stresses and strains on those serving, and he may be being as honest with you as he can. It's your choice, but this may be one to let go of.
  • Are you sure he slept with her? Make sure of things don't assume and then, get rid of her.
  • I'm in a situation like this one, but from the other girl's side right now. I'm friends with a guy at work (we were friends before we worked together also) but we've never slept together and never will. There is a slight attraction, but it's never talked about and never will be in any future that I can foresee. He's a buddy and that's it. We also work with his girlfriend. As innocent as the situation is, I can see where she might get suspicious, and she is. I can tell. I genuinely do like her, so I'm nice to her, and would be her friend any time. Actually it would make me happy to be her friend, because then she wouldn't have to be suspicious. So right now, you could be in her shoes exactly. You could be seeing an attraction between them rather than a history, and it may never be acted upon as long as he's your bf. You could also be right, but think about how it is with my friend and I. There might really be nothing going on.
  • If you know the smell of this girl or her perfume and then smell it on your BF, that's a pretty solid clue.
  • definitley go with your first instinct
  • Trust your gut. I didn't. It turns out he did cheat.
  • it is also possible that she is trying to reach out to you out of remours(that is if it really happend), trying to fix what is broken... Let her come closer, go out with her and pop the question. This time look her straight in the eye and you will know the truth.
  • He is just your BF dump him, if you know for sure that they slept together, meaning you have concrete evidence, like a video or his own admission of that fact. Why is it such a difficult decision, he was dishonest with you, which is the only reason why you should rid yourself of him. It is only cheating when you are married or engaged!!!
  • you should dump him because the girl wants you close so she can see is you are suspicious if they did it.But there is always that she really wants to be your friend and your bf is being honest
  • Maybe she is just maneuvering for a three way. Consider all of the possibilities.
  • Do you think he slept with her while he was with you? If you think he cheated, get rid of him now. Don't wait for solid evidence. Whether he slept with her or not, you don't trust him....what else is there?
  • that is weird

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