I'd dump her on the spot.

It will be hard for you trust her after this no? This can lead to paranoid thoughts and an overall bad relationship.

She has a Child who is 14. After I told her I wanted to breakup she turned around and I told her to turn back around and look at me. I caressed her face and ran my fingers through her hair. She said she has 2 priorities: to find a roof over her daughter's head and to leave to no longer hurt me. She said she no longer mattered, only her daughter and I. She tried to hold her tears in, then I said what's wrong, she said, it doesn't matter, she doesn't matter because she lost me. She kissed another guy, the first kiss she said just happened. They had lunch together, they are co-workers. They went to the hills together and he they kissed, but she said it was not planned and not intentional. She said the 2nd kiss was only an apology peck he gave her because, his mom found out about them. She said he told his mom they were going to move in together. But she talked to his mom and calmed her down and said she only wanted friendship from the guy. He kissed her a peck on her cheek as an apology. Her & I have been together for 7 years. I found a note she wrote to her girlfriend which said about the kissing. In the note it said she loved me, but was not in love with me. She also said that she told the guy if they were going to date it would have to be secret. As far as anyone was concerned they were just friends who had lunch once or twice a week and talked on the phone occasionally. After I found about this, I said, why does he still text you. She said because, he is her friend and she can't cut someone out of her life. We were talking tonight and her phone was turned off. When I turned her phone on, he was texting her, I went to see it, but she took it from me and she said she no longer reads the texts and she said all he texts her for is to say goodnight. She said she no longer sees him, but he just texted her tonight. IS SHE CHEATING ON ME???? SHOULD I FORGIVE HER?? IF I DO FORGIVE HER? HOW CAN I? THE KISSES ARE ALL I THINK ABOUT. SHOULD I HONESTLY FORGIVE HER & BELIEVE SHE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN?

Words are not enough.. read her actions then make your decision.. im not going to say what everyone else said.. becuase i believe in chances WHEN its a deep relationship but i dont know how deep this is or your age here.. but really think about this before you just automatically say yes.. if you want you can see what she says to being friends for a long time building some trust.. and taking it from there, you may find through the friendship shes not what you expected and see ya!

the whole shes not in love with you thing and how she thought about having a secret relationship with the guy would put me on guard... but iunno i think people deserve second chances... if only once....

I am 30 and she is 35.

Before I found out about the 2 kisses, she kept saying she wanted her own place and move out of my house. She said I can't move into her house, but we can date and I can occasionally sleep over. I did not want her togo. She said she needed her freedom. She felt Trapped. I am 30, she is 35, and the guy is 28.

she is to insecure to many problems to much going on for u to handle... this is a mess.. find someone more stable in herself now that i have read the rest of this post.. id dump her see ya!

If that's all she did was kiss another guy, not that it's OK or anything but it hardly seems like grounds for breaking up. She now knows how strong you feel about it and hopelfully won't act on it again. If she does then that's another story.

Based on your expansion at http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2480194 : "She said she has 2 priorities: to find a roof over her daughter's head and to leave to no longer hurt me." - She has her priorities straight... her daughter should come first. BUT, the "leave to no longer hurt" you, especially followed with the "...she no longer mattered, only her daughter and" you sounds a bit manipulative, especially with the rest of the answer. Sounds to me like she wants to leave, but doesn't want to... In other words, she's not sure WHAT she wants, right now. This "kissing" mentioned in the question and the answer - If no tongue was involved, there's no cheating, especially the "peck on the cheek" (HE kissed HER, not the other way around, there). The most telling, to me is the "In the note it said she loved me, but was not in love with me. She also said that she told the guy if they were going to date it would have to be secret." If she's making plans, or even suggesting the thought might be more than a thought, then she's not in love with you, OR she doesn't get something she needs from you. Your sex lives may be wonderful to you, but might not be enough for her. Your caring and loving might be enough for you, but something's missing. (I've BEEN in THAT position... It's not fun WANTING that something to appear, and it never does. I've also been on the other side of that... The problem there is being in love with someone who, while they love you, doesn't feel "in love" with you. And yes... There IS a difference.) The texting part COULD just be from his side of the relationship. However, her wishing to hide that part (not what the texts say) from you is troubling. Along with everything else, to me, it's at least a very strong yellow flag with the red in view. I agree that you don't, or shouldn't have to cut friends of the opposite sex from your life, if you don't wish to. HOWEVER, there is obviously a trust issue, here. IS SHE CHEATING ON ME???? Not necessarily. All evidence reported is circumstantial, but the note about "secrecy" MIGHT put it over the edge. It's POSSIBLE they ARE still JUST friends. Don't EVER assume the worst. You will only drive yourself nuts by doing so. SHOULD I FORGIVE HER?? That's up to you. If it's only for the "kissing", then there really should be nothing to forgive. with the rest of it, though, you may feel the need to forgive. IF they are only friends, or even if they WERE more, it will help YOU and her. If they ARE STILL more than friends, then what good will it do? Even if she leaves, though, you need to forgive her... You can love someone and not like them; you can love someone, and not like what they do; AND, you can love someone and not be able to live with them. Still, in that case, the forgiveness is to help YOU get past it, not her. IF I DO FORGIVE HER? HOW CAN I? THE KISSES ARE ALL I THINK ABOUT. Again, chaste kisses, especially one on the cheek by the other, are nothing - They are NOT cheating. You need to STOP obsessing about THEM, and concentrate on the rest of the relationship. How can you forgive her? You simply do. Remember, too, though, that forgiveness is also for YOU. SHOULD I HONESTLY FORGIVE HER & BELIEVE SHE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN? As I said, above, forgiveness is more for YOU, in this case. You will not get past it until you forgive and put it to the back of your mind. Does that mean you forget? No... What it means is you never bring it up again, to her, or yourself. When you realize that it IS coming up, you turn your thoughts to more pleasant ones. Based on your comment/answer at http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2480289... Based on the possible "manipulative" behavior (early paragraph)... Based on the "keep it secret"... Based on the obvious trust issues... Based on her loving you but not being "in love" with you... No matter what we say, it seems this relationship needs work, if you BOTH want it to continue. That other answer, though, to me means she's wanting out. What happens here will be up to you two. The wild-card in this whole thing is a 14yo daughter. You've been together since the little girl was 7. VERY little was mentioned in anything here about her. That kid has grown up for the past seven years with you in her life as her step-father (married or not). She should not know the details, if you DO break up, just that things have happened, and you cannot live together any more. Personally, I would try to stay in touch, at least with her. She may need more counseling, from you, from her mother, from her real father (if he's in the picture), and maybe a professional. There should be NO recriminations, as little describing what happened as possible, and no blame for the break up. If you DO break up, and she asks, it's just "Your mother fell out of love with me, and can't live together, any more." Remember... You are (supposedly) NOT the father. You are (currently) a protector, counselor, and custodian of hers. You probably DO both love each other, but it's not your place to make her feel badly about her mother and you. Love her as if she were your own, even if you aren't and can't live with her mother. At her age, remember, she's known you as her father for 1/2 her life. If the kid wasn't involved for so long, I'd say, sure... Break up. But you BOTH have someone else to worry about in this. If you are arguing a lot, break up. If you are arguing in front of the kid, STOP IT NOW. Make sure SHE knows it's NOTHING that SHE did or does causing your problems. DO NOT let that girl take the blame for ANY of this. My suggestion: Seek counseling... Both YOU and the mother. See if you can work this out. Again, if you can't, make sure the kid knows it has nothing to do with her. Good luck.

She has a child who is 14??? That makes her..... about 35 maybe? I ended a relationship with a girl who kissed another and told me about it. My concern was that I wasn't important enough to her that she would remain fathful to me. She was 18 with no kid. I would expect someone with so much to lose wouldn't have been so foolish. She's a big girl now, or so one would think. 35. Amazing. Why does she really want to be with you?