For those of you who are married... The American Institute of Family Relations claims that the wife's mother is the most frequent troublemaker in marriages. Do you find this to be true?
by 
Jay Was Here - AYPWIP
ANSWERS: 63
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That should be the wife's sister who should have been a militant feminist, but the sis still finds time to f**k those guys she despise. Sorry, I had to vent. Oh yea. No. Your statement is not always true.
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The couple of times I have been married, my Mothers In Law were completely gracious and wonderful. It's been my experience in marriage that the most frequent troublemaker was the wife.
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No i don't find it to be true at all. If anything, with the people i know, it seems to be the guys siblings who offer the most trouble.
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In my case my mother hasn't been trouble at all. It's HIS mother and family that cause the problems...
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In my case my mother hasn't been trouble at all. It's HIS mother and family that cause the problems...
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In my case my mother hasn't been trouble at all. It's HIS mother and family that cause the problems...
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I don't know about the American Institute of Family Relations , but i do know i've not been able to figure out what causes friction. each day is not the same . some days it's from one side , other days it's from the other side , and if both the sides are happy then it would be between the husband and the wife . guess life takes such a lot of working and the best thing is not to think about it at all.
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In my case it was 100% true! But eventhough i do not believe that all wife's mothers are troblemakers. My mother-in-law and their whole family were trouble makers because they never had any understanding or love in their own family. Eventoday they live like untouchables. I went the first time to their house after marriage and i wished my only brother-in-law, he did not even wish me, he walked away. Than on the 3rd day he invited my wife and me for dinner and he just stood leaving us alone on the table not even ordering anything. It was a very disgusting experience! And still he is like that till date!
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No..that would only be true if the "wife" doesn't fully understand her priorities..her husband and children always come first..the parents can be included in the mix, but never at the expense of the main family..they have to know their place, which will/should be second..otherwise the "wife" had no business getting married and should stay with mummy and daddy the rest of her life. :)
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From most of the marriages I have witnessed I would say that would be true. However, my mom has been gone for 20 years so my husband must be a lucky man.
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If you were to talk to my daughter in law she would say it is me......but she would be wrong......:)
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Unfortunately it was true for me. My mother passed away though 7 years ago. I'd love to have her and all her trouble making ways back. I believe I could have done better in handling things, but it's too late now.
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I've been very fortunate to have 2 great mother-in-laws. So I must be against the norm. In fact the (MIL) I have now.......I get along with better then my wife does!!!!!! I keep telling her that I should of married her mother instead :)
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I've been married twice and I can honestly say my mother did not interfere the first time. She died before the 2nd so unless there's something I'm missing, there's been no interference. Now the husband's mothers...that's another story all together. I learned after the first marriage to keep my distance from a man's mom. In my experience with husbands and boyfriends, their mothers think they can do no wrong. This is no matter what they do. So, having learned the hard way, I just nod my head and keep my mouth shut (and occasionally, out of desperation for some sanity, roll my eyes when no one is looking)
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I don't really think either of our mothers cause problems. Sociologists have done studies and say it is the man's mother and the daughter-in-law that usually have issues, and they have found this to be cross-cultural.
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Neither my Mother or my Husbands Mother cause any problems in our marriage neither is nosey and neither trys to butt into our life decisions.
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I believe that, knowing my mother and the in-law she makes...
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No. My own experience, and the experience I had in marital coaching, was that it was the husband's mother.
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Yes.
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When I was married, the biggest troublemaker was my wife. My mother-in-law was a quiet little old lady. The second biggest troublemaker was my father-in-law.
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Yes because she stresses me out which makes me a wench. Well not anymore because I stopped talking to her. Umm, that leaves the biggest troublemaker trophy to go to... his female co-worker who moved less than a mile from our house? Yeah, I think she gets it.
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Not here. Mom loves the hubbie and the hubbie loves all the goodies she buys him and us!
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absolutely true in both of my marriages
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I'm divorced for 11 years. my Ex. mother in law never never troubled my relation with my Ex.
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Not in my marriage I love my Mother-in-Law...She is very nice.
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Not true in most of the relationships I know. For us both of our mothers have been very loving and my MIL is the sweetest woman in the world. So from us a two thumbs down.
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In my case yes unfortunately
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No way! My mom had nothing to do with the downfall of my marriage. It had everything to do with his mom and dad and even he will tell you that!
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That would be MY mother...and OH BOY is it the truth!
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My mother never gets involved and always treats everyone very well
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Nope completely opposite for me. Unfortunately I married the Alpha child... Her baby and no other woman will be allowed to love him. She is Catholic, too. So she LOVES to share all the guilt she has amassed. Next time I will marry an orphan.
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No. She annoys me at times but I think that's a result the way I take things. She's got a heart of gold and will help anyone but tends to be "inquisituive".
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No in my first marriage it was my husbands mom that caused problems and this time both mom's seem to mind their own business and never interfere. Now if I could get the hubby to behave life would be grand...LOL ;)
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Are you kidding me? I find this to be false. My dh and I treasure my mom's help,company,advice,and that she is a wonderful grandparent. My mother inlaw is a dreaded pain, not only for me but for my husband as well. She trys to control our personal family decisions, such as having children,raising them,our house, finances. She is just a negative judgemental person. Sadly because she is so toxic we limit information and our personal time with her.
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Yes and no, it depends on the personalities of the in-laws and the inmeshment situations as well.
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in my opinion, it is the husband's mother that causes the most trouble. especially if the mother is a widow, lol.
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Nope. That'd be my dad, if we're limiting it to the parents.
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Possibly. Mine was a piece of work but is much better now. The biggest troublemaker in my marriage was and is my sis-in-law.
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No I find that my mother and family love and adore my husband, but my husbands mom is horrible. She is very passive aggressive and has mean comments. I have tried for almost three years to try and get a relationship with her but it is not working. She has not been to our house since we have been married but will go to the my husbands brothers house and visit with him and his new wife. Now she has decided to have a relationship with my husbands ex wife. Now they do things together. It looks like she is trying to get a reaction from me and is trying to get a comment from me but it is not happening. My husband has been supporting me but has yet to have a discussion with her about any of this. I will not say anything because she will not forgive me and it will give her more reason not to like me. I am now ignoring her and her behavior and have decided not to go around my husbands family due to how they treat me when they are together. My husband can decide what he wants to do during the holidays and other get togethers. I refuse to allow her passive aggressive behavior around me.
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Not at all in our marriage. But that is true in my parents marriage.
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Nope... My late ex-MIL loved me, and didn't want my wife to divorce me And my wife's mother is dead, too. So ... Nope... Not true for me!
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NO. His mother is the one who makes trouble for us. Why? Because he runs to her and complains about petty stuff. When she insults me, he won't stick up for me saying "I'm not going to cut my mother off at the knees". I didn't know that's what one would call sticking up for your wife! I never tell my mother our troubles because I don't want to ruin the relationship between them. AND, I don't want to look like an idiot married to another idiot!
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no. it's the daughter in law.
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Absolutely not. My husbands mother is the sole troublemaker in our marriage. Correction, her and my husband because he allows her to do it.
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A piece of sage advice given to me many years ago. "Get to know your prospective mother in law as carefully as you get to know your bride, before you commit yourself. She is a central part of the family you are marrying into, and will inevitably influence your life. She is probably the pattern your wife will follow, even if she vows she won't." This warning saved me from making a move which later events showed I would have regretted. I had to wait a bit longer, but my late mother in law was a fine woman, nearly as good as her daughter.
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It wasn't in mine. Petty nice lady. little grumpy. She lived a long distance away so didn't see her that often,. Not a bad lady. She had a stroke and some concurrent issues. My current g/f's mom is a sweetie. Little bit of some of the same thing although she's not grumpy. People/paretets get old and you have to deal with it.
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Yes. I find that my Mother causes alot of problems in my marriage. She has always been stern and controlling. I am very fortunate to have a loving and understanding husband.
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yes of course, one alpha dog is as bad as the other. The reason a marriage is troubled stems from the wife and her mother to begin with.
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absolute rubbish. wish my mum got involved more. Would love to know how many people were surveyed and where and for how long? usually there are limits to the amount of research done. it's different from one family to the next.
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NO!!! My mom recently died, but she was the best & no I don't say that just because she's my mom. She was such a huge support and a very forgiving person. My husbands parents have not just been "troublemakers" they tried hard to destroy our marriage. They set him up on dates with and old girlfriend when we would visit just to name one thing. My mom would have NEVER tried to interfere in our lives.
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I don't find that true at all. My husband gets along extremely well with my mother..sometimes better than I do but his parents....no his mother causes the most trouble and discussions that anyone.
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haven't yet
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No I dont find this true. I'm sure there maybe somewhere but in my experiences there is a lot of the mother in laws on the husbands side. Not in just my case but also in cases with my friends and thier husbands mothers. I even have an aunt who is always into her sons life causing some kind of conflict that is really not necesary and could have been prevented.
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not when the husband's mother is an ungrateful alcoholic.
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Only if the wife allows her to be.
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LOL! She was at first, but I (being her daughter) put her in her place real quick.
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I am not married, but when my parents were it was my DAD'S mom that would cause trouble. She sold the car she promised to my dad one summer while he was away. She told my mom that she wouldn't see her second daughter because the name was Morgan and she didn't like that name. Over all, she just liked to cause problems.
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No. It usually money or sex.
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Not in our case. My mom doesn't get involved in anything unless we ask her to. Calls me about once or twice a week. Doesn't stop by unless invited (and only lives a few miles away). My mom is awesome. The one who has to be involved in everything is actually my husband's father...
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Not at all. I love my mother-in-law almost as much as my own mother. She's a saint.
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Heck NO!! I find the mother in law to be the 'trouble maker' -- haa!! Thats a fact!
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Actually, I think the husband's mother causes the most trouble. She is often reluctant to let go of her son because he's her precious little baby. Then she tries to horn in on family decisions and activities because she wants to feel included. JMO.
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no. the husband's mother.
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