• "Gosh! Freaking idiots!"
  • Any time he talks about skills.
  • "There'sa buttload of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join cause 'm pretty good w/a bowstaff." "I see you're drinking 1 percent. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."
  • Gooossshhhhh <swiftly sliding head to side>
  • Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
  • You guys are retarded!
  • Can you bring me some lips hurt REAL BAD!!
  • I like when he says, "Do the chickens have large talons?" and when he draws that picture for that girl and tells her how long it took him to do the shading on her upper lip! God, I love that movie!
  • Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh! Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter. Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. Rex: At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? [points to Kip] Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think? Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man. Randy: Come on, give me some of your tots. Principal Svadean: Look, Pedro, I don't know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. Understand? Smashing in the face of a pinata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Gem State. Rex: Bow to your sen-sei. [Kip bows slightly] Rex: [shouts] Bow to your sen-sei!
  • Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!
  • Sure the World Wide Web is great, but you, you make me salvivate.

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