Do guys ever really mean it when they say 'we can still be friends' after a breakup?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 37
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i think it all depends on how long you were together and why you broke up. i think for most people it would be too hurtful to remain friends after the breakup, but once you have had time to move on then its possible to be friends. i think theres to much hurt in the beginning to stay friends unless its what you both really want.
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why does it have to be just guys? i've had girls say the same thing to me, many times over. and it rarely happens. it sucks, but in my case, i'm good friends with *one* of my exes.
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It can be translated as: You're not cool enough to be my real love interest, but I'd like to be able to call you for a quickie if something goes wrong between me and old whats-her/his-name. . Another favorite meaning: I'm dumping you but I don't want you starting the rumor that I am a despicable jerk because that might diminish my future dating choices. . There are other possibilities, but not many of them are complimentary to the other party. Don't look for anything positive in these words because they are formulated to take advantage of the dumpee.
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NAH I CANT DO THAT FRIEND S**TT, CUZ FRIENDS USUALLY DONT KISS, MESS AROUND, OR THE DO THE NASTY... OR SHOULD I SAY FRIENDS DONT USUALLY MAKE LOVE... SO NO I CANT BE FRIENDS......
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sometimes. but the thing to bear in mind is that from the breakup there are residual emotions that take time to disipate. During the emotional decline / disengagement, one may feel for example they want to be friends, but days or weeks down the line, they may feel different. It is also a form of hanging on to an old relationship, wanting to be friends. As a rule of thumb, minimum 1 year after a split no friendship, as it rarely works.
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I really wouldn't want to be friends with my ex's. Once we're done, its over. I'm actually friends with a lot of my ex's cause I just stopped talking to them immediately and then a couple months down the road I start talking to them again. You just need to let those feelings disappear from the both of you.
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well I was never friends with someone I broke up with however years ago I was head over heels inlove with this beautiful italian girl Her name was Rosanna Pisscitelli and she was the love and light of my life at that time she unfortunately didn't return the feelings and in fact was very cruel and cold towards me Yet for almost 10 years we were close friends in spite of me wanting so much more from her so it is possible I guess to remain friends after a break up if you really want it
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I don't know...I guess it depends- but it still makes both sides very uncomfortable- it would have been better to not get involved and just stay good friends
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Most guys really mean "Can we still have sex even though we've broken up?"
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I can only speak from personal experience, but I always mean it when I say it. In some cases, I had no desire to be friends with the girl, so I didn't say I wanted to be friends. Simple as that. Breaking up for me has not typically been about fault or something I didn't like about the person, things just didn't work out because of stuff like timing, distance, life, etc. Sometimes guys will say that to just keep the person around for selfish reasons, but when I say it I mean it because it's someone I genuinely care about and want to be there for them if they need me, whether it's love or friendship. Only problem is, even with the best intentions of friendship, it's usually too difficult to transition from relationship to friendship unless there is considerable time apart.
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Don't think so. My ex wanted to be friends, but I found out I was just a booty call. I thought we would get back together, but he was just using the friend thing to use me until he found Mrs. right. Messed my head up. If you still have feelings for him, don't do it. When he finds someone else, it will be so painful.
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Yes............we'd play golf with anyone as long as we have that fourth.
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Yes, in fact I prefer it.
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NO
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In my experience men disappear after you make that agreement.
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Only if they realized during the course of your relationship that they are in fact gay. Otherwise, it's just a sly way of saying, "we should still bone."
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I usually try to come to a mutual agreement to be just friends; in my experience, they just disappear even if they do agree.
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Nope...not always
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Depends, but often they don't in my experience. They usually say it to let the other person down gently.
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Yeah, definitely! I do it..and mean it...
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No they mean we can still have sex but you can't tell me what to do anymore.
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When my wife and I broke up we remain friends to this day. Part of the reason is because of the kids but, there's always the chance of getting back together.
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Yeah, it could happen. . Now, about the unspoken "with benefits" ... . unless the sex was terrible, or there is some new HUGE moral issue, he is thinking "with benefits."
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I have said that to *almost* every girl I've broken up with, often with no thoughts of getting back together and no real desire for a booty call, and they've always let the friendship just die out or one or two asked me to quit calling all together. No idea why those particular girls have said it but didn't mean it. I can tell you I've meant it every time....my experience seems so different from some of the others who have answered this question!
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saw him last night 2 months 1/2 after he broke up and saying would like to be friend and see me casually sometimes! he kissed me on the cheek as a friend, we talked and I know I won't see him ever again! probably because of my behaviour showing him I still had a crush on him! i am gonna stick to "no can't be friend" after a break up!
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i would say no. but then again im going through it right now and you want to be friends. so its hard but if you really loved the person than you still want to be in there life and if that means being friends then as long as you are in there life adn they are happy
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82% of the time: No
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Some do, but in my experience most don't.
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Some really mean it. I just got out of a year long relationship with a girl and i truely loved her a lot. She was everything for me, and the break up was not bitter and for any bad reason, shes leaving for two years to do missionary work and we thought it was best. I told her that night she was my best friend, and since then it has stayed that way. Were still close friends and can be around each other a lot without expressing our feelings physically. So of course, i meant it when we could still be friends. I want her in my life as a friend rather than not at all. I love her.
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Nope, and the same goes for females. Basically whoever is doing the dumping (male or female) they say it it to try and the ease pain, even though it actually doesn't.
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No way. Just lettin you down easy....
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The couple of times I said it long ago were quite sincere - but I can't speak for everyone here.
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No, they do not mean it, they forget all about you.
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Sometimes it's just a "comforting" thing they use but I'm sure there are some guys that mean it. It all depends on the guy.
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I think it's possible in some cases after time apart from each other, you have to give each other time to adjust to your new relationship status.
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Yes friends that you nevr see anymore and then when you do they act like they do not know who yu are at times. But some will be friends for real.
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Sometimes, but most of the women I've talked to about that situation found the men really meant "we can still have sex when I feel like it, if you're up for that"!
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